"I used to be a very selfish person, so selfish that if you didn't put the appearance fee into my account in advance, I wouldn't be on stage. Until the sudden death of my daughter completely shattered my pride. ”
She was once a young and ignorant girl in the popular TV series "Sixteen-year-old Flower Season", as well as the host of Shanghai ace programs such as "Family Studio" and "Entertainment Star World", and a mother of four children after marrying into a wealthy family.
She is Ji Xueping. has experienced the popularity of life, and also experienced the heartache of losing his beloved daughter. Now, 48-year-old Ji Xueping is back in the public eye with her new book "The Cause of the World".
In an exclusive interview with the Morning News, Ji Xueping recounted how she got out of the storm after being hit hard by life. This story is not only a long battle for a mother, but also a witness to how a 48-year-old working woman regains her freedom.
Flower season
Many people's first impression of Ji Xueping is "Sixteen-year-old Flower Season".
This TV series made this little-known Shanghai girl an instant hit, and the character of "Bai Xue" created by her was also deeply imprinted in the hearts of the audience.
Recalling these experiences back then, Ji Xueping bluntly said that she was lucky in her life, she could become popular when she filmed a movie, and she was not jealous like some actresses. "I remember when I was studying in the play, the teacher said that some actors will eat the dividends of one play in their lifetime, and I was not convinced, but it turned out that one failed to surpass the influence of "Sixteen-year-old Flower Season". ”
Stills from "Sixteen-Year-Old Flower Season".
Many post-80s and post-90s generations grew up watching Ji Xueping's shows, but many people can't help but wonder why they haven't seen Ji Xueping on TV for a long time?
Ji Xueping said with a smile that she has never left the hosting world. "I've always walked on two legs. When I left CCTV to go to Shanghai TV, I founded my own school. It's just that I don't like to show off myself. ”
What many people don't know is that in addition to media people, Ji Xueping is also a senior educator. She co-founded a Montessori kindergarten and is a certified instructor. Talking about the transformation process, Ji Xueping said frankly that she was extremely nervous at first, "This is not a simple transformation from a host to a producer, but from the stage to the podium, which is a huge cognitive challenge for me." ”
But Ji Xueping not only did it, but also successfully obtained a doctorate in psychology. Previously, she had just submitted her graduation thesis with trepidation, and was still waiting for the results. "When my supervisor suggested that I apply for a PhD, I said, 'No need, I'm at this age?' and my supervisor told me that this is when you are at your most mature and self-expressive. ”
It was this exchange with her mentor that made Ji Xueping start thinking about age again. She found that this stage of life is not necessarily the arrival of a crisis, but the presentation of an opportunity.
"Many women my age may have started to enter the second half of their careers, or even prepare for retirement early, but for me, on the contrary, my life stage has just begun. Ji Xueping used to be a girl in the flower season in the TV series, and through continuous learning and Xi and transformation, she unconsciously seemed to have the "flower season" of life again.
Mother
In the past few decades, Ji Xueping has been comfortable in many roles in her life, such as host, actor, educator, and self-media blogger. But she said that her favorite role is still her mother, and she feels that being a mother is the most self-conscious thing.
Someone once asked her a very classic question, if you could only choose between career and family, which would you choose? Ji Xueping chose the latter without hesitation. "Because I know that when I have one breath left, it must not be my leaders and colleagues who are standing in front of me, but my closest family members. As soon as I think about it, I think, why can't I choose the longest relationship to invest in?"
But life sometimes backfires, when Ji Xueping decided to devote more time to her family, and everyone around her envied her for reaping the happiness of life, fate started black humor with her.
When Ji Xueping's daughter was young, she was diagnosed with a serious illness, and then she began a long journey to seek medical treatment. She taught herself all kinds of medical knowledge, and even in order to ask for help from some advanced medical teams abroad, Ji Xueping's English proficiency improved by leaps and bounds during that time. In order to take care of her daughter wholeheartedly, Ji Xueping decided to give up her career as the head of the TV station and become a full-time mother to take care of her.
But fate was far more bumpy than imagined. One day in 2019, Ji Xueping still experienced the darkest moment of her life. "On the day Shu Yi was taken to the hospital, when I rushed to the hospital, I saw that the doctor was doing CPR on her. The doctor asked me if I could resuscitate me? I said no. The doctor asked me are you sure? I said yes. There was no morgue in the hospital, so the doctor brought me eight large ice buckets, and I forced myself to arrange all the funerals for my daughter. ”
After the death of her daughter, Ji Xueping was confused for a long time, she used to spend a lot of time taking care of her daughter, but now she suddenly didn't know what she should do. "During that time, I wanted to cry when I saw people, until my mentor told me that you should go to Xi, and when I heard this sentence, I seemed to suddenly grasp a life-saving straw, try to superimpose my life bit by bit, and began to find a new fulcrum in life. ”
Ji Xueping described herself as being reborn like "living towards death", and she also regained her appreciation of the value of life. She decided to help more families by working in education. In her opinion, this is an amplification of the either-or answer, and it is also a change of role.
Ji Xueping never shied away from talking about it in public, and when others asked, she would tell everyone that she had four children. "My son suddenly asked me one day, 'Mom, why do you have to tell your sister's story after you have been through so many things?' I said, life is for sharing, and everything Mom does today is for my sister. ”
"I used to be a very small person, not a big person, and it was my daughter who told me about the mission of life. It made me realize that the value of life is to die and not die. But I still hope that everyone will not go through the pain of losing a family member, but also appreciate the value of this life. ”
haughty
"Arrogant" is what Ji Xueping's friend Jin Xing once commented on her.
In Jin Xing's eyes, the "arrogance" in Ji Xueping is not the kind of impatient, complacent and self-righteous arrogance, but a kind of calmness and rationality of "I know what I'm doing, I use 'reason' to talk to you".
When Ji Xueping's career was in full swing, there were also many controversies. Some people say that her personality is a bit too competitive and competitive, and some people talk a lot about her behavior of marrying into a wealthy family.
"In the past, I cared too much about what others said, and I was full of self-protection consciousness in my personality. Recalling her younger self again, Ji Xueping said that she had also been lost in fame and fortune. In the past, she cared a lot about whether she was in the C position, and she also cared about whether today's clothes were very photogenic.
But the sudden death of her daughter made her shatter all her previous pride. She gradually discovered that those gorgeous stages, those glamorous C positions, and those evaluations that flew around like snowflakes were already in the past tense of life. Those who praise her will eventually leave, and those who have denied her will be gone.
"If my life were a river, I should have waded through the past and continued in the direction of the river. I won't be stopped by a stone, and I won't stop just because I see a gorgeous peach blossom. Life flows. ”
Ji Xueping said that she is grateful to those who have pointed out her shortcomings on her life path. Once, she chatted with a senior in psychology, and after the senior asked Ji Xueping a question, she bluntly said that Ji Xueping did not read enough. Ji Xueping's first reaction was not to choose to argue like back then, but to really start to seriously reflect on how much she had read was indeed not enough. "How many people are willing to point out your problems to your face? Most people are only hypocritical admiration for me, and when they don't know it, it's easy to get caught up in an illusionary honeypot that makes it impossible to make progress. ”
Today, Ji Xueping not only continues to explore in education, but also actively transforms into self-media as a traditional media person. In the past, when she was doing TV shows, she needed to put the guests' words first, and her own words would be cut. has always been the role of a green leaf, but now she can speak for herself through self-media, which makes her feel extremely free.
"I have silently told my daughter countless times in my heart that in the rest of my life, my mother will continue to run for you. Ji Xueping said.
Source | Morning News