With the Spring Festival approaching, why do some elderly people no longer look forward to their children coming home? A 70-year-old mother expressed her heart
When I was younger, there was a cat named Xiaolan at home. Xiaolan is a smart cat, well-behaved and cute, and is my favorite pet. However, one day, Xiaolan disappeared. I searched, inquired, and cried, but Xiaolan just couldn't find it.
I turned around and was already gray-haired, and at the age of seventy, I picked up my phone, looked at the contacts inside, and watched them live their lives happily, rarely contacting me. The Chinese New Year is approaching, and I hope that they will come home for the Chinese New Year, but I feel the alienation of my children.
My hard-working wife sat on the sidelines and looked at me silently, and he understood the pain in my heart. We don't even have the slightest chance to participate in the children's life outside. My wife said that in their hearts, we are a forgotten past.
"It's not easy for the children to go out and work hard. They must have something to do and it's inconvenient to come back. "My wife comforted me.
I nodded and didn't speak.
One day, I rummaged through the cabinets and remembered Xiaolan's departure, and my wife and I were in great pain for it. Now, I seem to have become Xiaolan, and I have become small in the children's lives outside. My eyes are moist, do they still have us in their hearts, and can children forget their parents?
My wife sighed helplessly and whispered to me: "Xiaolan is lost, but we are still here. Children may be looking for something of their own in the outside world. Maybe one day, they will understand that we can't wait forever for them to come home. ”
We sat there in silence, with endless helplessness in our hearts. I knew he was right, but I couldn't calm myself. Children seem to be getting farther and farther away, and there seems to be no place for us in their lives.
The bell of the Spring Festival rang, and the children called home one by one to invite them home for the "New Year", they evoked the good memories of my childhood, and the faint pain in my heart was also retouched. Year after year, we waited with all our hearts, but the children cared little about our mood and life. I felt a deep sense of emptiness, as if I had been emptied from my heart. All this seems to have become an insurmountable mountain, standing between hearts and minds.
I've been wondering why children are becoming more and more reluctant to go home, is it that we're doing something wrong, and that our love and our expectations are becoming elusive. And all of this seems to be driven by an invisible force.
During the Chinese New Year, we suddenly received a call from a distant relative saying that they were coming to visit their relatives at home. My wife was excited to prepare, and her mood seemed to have taken a slight turn. However, just the day before their arrival, we received the sad news that my husband was in trouble with his health and needed emergency surgery.
This accident made the otherwise happy atmosphere heavy, and we fell into endless torment all of a sudden. The children are far away, but they can't come back to take care of us right away. I looked at my wife's helpless eyes and felt heartache. At this time, we crave the company of our children even more, but we can't get it. Maybe they've really forgotten us out of the world.
Faced with my wife's illness, I decided to talk to the children on the phone, and I couldn't hide the guilt and hope in my heart. However, when I dialed the phone and heard the children's hurried greetings and concerns, my feelings became complicated.
"Mom, don't worry, we'll be back soon. The children's voices were full of apologies and concern.
My heart was hot, and tears were rolling in my eyes. I didn't want my husband's health issues to disturb their lives, and it all seemed to make me feel guilty and helpless.
"Son, your work life is very important, don't delay you because of us. "I tried to calm my voice, and over the years, I seemed Xi to being alone and helpless.
"Mom, we are willing to put down what we are doing for you and return to you. Not because we should, but because we want to. The children's voices were full of determination, and whether they were busy or not didn't seem to love us.
I bowed my head and was silent, my heart intertwined with emotion and guilt. The entanglement of family affection seems to have been stimulated again. At this moment, we need the company of our children even more, and they are willing to let go of what they are doing and return to us.
However, I knew in my heart that the situation was not really resolved. The contradictions and guilt between us do not seem to have been resolved by this situation. We need more time to face, accept and communicate.
However, it is precisely this entanglement and dialogue that may be the only way we can truly get closer to each other.
At the comfort of my wife, I was immersed in deep worry. Since our children started their families, they have come home less and less often to visit us. Every time there is a festival, every winter and summer vacation, they always shirk and do not go home for various reasons. My heart was filled with loss and helplessness. I have complained to my children on the phone many times, but they always use their busyness and work as an excuse to make me even more lost.
One day, my wife and I were sitting at home watching TV when suddenly the phone rang. I picked up the phone, and it was the voice of my eldest son. He told me that he had suffered a major loss at work and needed a large sum of money to get through it, and he wanted me to lend it to him. It was amazing to me that for the first time in so many years, he reached out to me because he needed money.
I felt like I was in the dark. I tried to suppress the anger and helplessness in my heart, but the tears still flowed. I hung up the phone as if I had rejected a haunting annoyance. My wife saw it, patted my hand gently, and silently poured me a cup of hot tea.
"Is he taking advantage of us?" I asked, in a trembling voice. "Have children always been like this? how can they be like this?" I muttered to myself, tears blurring my eyes. The wife listened and said slowly: "Maybe they have lost themselves and forgotten the importance of home. However, this is also the only tutor we give them. It's better for us to lend him and let him get out of trouble, which can be regarded as a kind of warmth for their growth. I nodded silently, the contradictions in my heart becoming more and more entangled.
My heart was full of contradictions that I couldn't resolve. Home is the selfless dedication of parents and the warm care between relatives, but now, home has become strange and distant. I pondered whether I should agree to him, and the battle in my heart could not be settled. Perhaps, this is a family conflict, and it is time to re-examine the family relationship between us.
I looked into my wife's eyes and suddenly felt a tingling in my heart. He has been by my side all these years and has supported me silently. I regret my depression and helplessness. Perhaps, I should be honest with my children and tell them how I really feel.
On the eve of the Chinese New Year, I decided to call the kids. The daughter picked up the phone, and her voice revealed exhaustion: "Mom, I'm busy preparing New Year's goods here, and I really can't go back, you and Dad will celebrate the New Year first." Hearing her explanation, I held back my tears and smiled and said it was okay.
My phone has been on silent and there is no news from my son. It was very late that he returned my call, and his voice sounded a little tired. "Mom, I'm very busy with work here, I can't go back, you and Dad take care. He hurriedly hung up.
My wife and I sat on the couch and looked at each other and smiled, however, my feelings became a little conflicted. I felt the alienation and indifference of the children, and I inevitably felt some sadness and anger in my heart. Over the years, they have taken care of their own lives, but they have rarely cared about the two of us. Our expectations were fleeting, and this loss and helplessness plunged me into deep contradictions.
I suddenly remembered myself when I was younger, I was ignorant and ignorant, thinking that starting a family was all there was to life. And now, the children are also on the path I have taken, and they may not understand my heart's desires and expectations. This contradiction upsets me.
"Children have their own families and careers, and they may not be able to let go of these things in their hearts, but we should still live our lives. The old wife said softly.
I nodded, and my wife had always been by my side all these years, giving me comfort and strength. It's time to let go of these contradictions. Life goes on, and we have to live it well, and stop being obsessed with the children's homecoming.
My wife and I looked at each other silently, and the contradictions in our hearts were still slowly accumulating. I knew he was trying to comfort me, but in fact, he couldn't get rid of the anxiety himself. I also understand how hard it is for children to work hard outside the home, but this alienation has made my feelings more complicated.
Just as my wife and I were arguing about whether we needed to create a little festive atmosphere for the New Year, the phone rang. It was the eldest son who called. His nervous, hesitant voice made me hear something was wrong.
"Mom, Dad...... I've got something, I'm ...... I really can't take a break to go back for the New Year today. The eldest son explained incoherently.
The pain and anger in my heart converged into a huge wave, and I couldn't speak, just silently hung up the phone. My wife frowned, he looked at me silently, and I knew he was anxious.
"We live on our own, and we don't expect them to come. I said through gritted teeth.
The old wife was silent, he walked to the balcony and looked into the distance, without saying a word. A simple phone call actually pried open the contradictions we have had for many years. We struggled with each other, but we couldn't let go. I saw the loneliness in my wife's eyes, and I also saw myself.
Memories flooded back, and I remembered the bits and pieces of my children when they were young, and their smiling faces used to be a source of happiness for me. As they grew up, they drifted away, as if we had been forgotten by them. I remembered Xiaolan. My wife and I tried to be strong, but the loneliness in our hearts grew.
We thought we could talk about all our grievances, but we found that we no longer knew what kind of care the other person needed. On a lonely night, we snuggled together, and I seemed to have seen Xiaolan leave.
I wiped my tears and nodded. My wife is right. Their world is full of trifles, children have their own lives, and they are not obligated to stop for us. However, this does not hide the loss and nostalgia in my heart.
Just then, there was a knock on the door. I got up and went to open the door, and there was our eldest son standing outside the door. He looked nervous and handed me a letter. The letter states that our youngest son was in a car accident and is currently being treated in the hospital. When I saw the news, I was stunned and overwhelmed. My wife took the letter, and her face turned pale.
We immediately rushed to the hospital and saw our youngest son, who was being treated. He suffered a serious injury to his left leg and was lying on a hospital bed struggling in agony. Our hearts ached, and our eldest son kept his head down, and it was clear that his parents were no longer important in his eyes. The doctor said that the youngest son's injuries were not light, and he was afraid that he would need a long period of rehabilitation.
All this reminds me of the pain of losing Xiaolan in the past. No matter what, the children are still my blood after all, and they are all the children I love deeply. Now they need my care and pampering for their bodies and minds, and this thought is more important than any emotional entanglement.
Although we were pained by the alienation of our children, we felt like we were back in square one. The love between family members should not be overshadowed by trivial matters and contradictions. And I will also take this opportunity to rekindle my love for family and re-spread love and understanding. Because home, after all, is a harbor where our souls belong and rely on each other. This accident also made me realize that no matter how deep the contradiction is, family affection will never give up.
In the days ahead, we are willing to put aside our preconceptions and be honest with each other's hearts. I am convinced that the warmth and harmony of the family will be restored in the days to come, and that the children will be able to return to the arms of their homes under the care of our love, and the family will be filled with warmth and laughter again.