Have you ever felt powerless in life?
After working for many years, the people around me have been promoted and raised, but they are still doing the most trivial work at the bottom;
Occasionally, I would make up my mind to change and buy books and register for classes with great interest, but I couldn't hold on for a few days and then threw them aside;
As a result, the lower the state, the more reluctant to contact people, and stay at home all day to play games and watch videos......
You are unwilling to fall but unable to do anything, anxious and panicked but overwhelmed, and can only watch yourself slide into the quagmire.
In the book "Mental Awakening", the author Effie pointed out that most problems in life come from immature mental models.
In the book, she explains that mental models are like our internal "information processors" that interpret the information we receive from the outside world and determine all our external behavior.
If we are not mentally awakened, we will let the outside world lead us by the nose, and we will not be able to see ourselves and the future clearly.
Only by reconstructing our mental model can we break through the old limitations of our thinking and achieve a counterattack of fate.
1
When you feel pain, raise your state of mind
In the book, the author talks about the story of the consulter, Xiao Mian.
When he first entered the society, he was defrauded of more than 100,000 yuan because of his gullibility in others.
This bad experience has become a hurdle that he can't overcome.
At first, he pretended it hadn't happened and tried to numb his brain with his busyness, going to the gym and writing a diary after work.
However, as soon as he stopped, the past was still vivid, and remorse and pain struck again.
Desperate to escape, he quit his job, cut off social interactions, and shut himself up at home every day to play games.
But the more he didn't dare to face everything in the real world, the stronger the pain in his heart became.
In this regard, the author points out that his pain is mainly due to the low level of the mental model.
People with low mental acuity often have a single mind, limited vision, and can only see what is in front of them.
Occasionally, he was hammered to the bottom by fate, and he decided that he could never turn over again, and he was trapped in the mud and couldn't get out.
But as long as he looks up, he will see that the trough is often connected to the high, and there are uphill roads everywhere.
If you make a mistake, you still have a chance to correct it, and you can earn it back when the money is gone, so why torture yourself?
With the encouragement of the author, Xiaomian no longer avoided the fact of being deceived, and mustered up the courage to tell the people around him.
When he stood up from the bottom and looked down at the past, he realized that it was just an episode in his life.
The blame and resentment vanished, and his life got back on track.
In fact, the reason why many pains in life cannot be solved is because your mental level is not high enough.
When faced with difficulties, you can't think about it or understand it thoroughly, and you will only fall into a deeper swamp in a hasty escape.
If people stand in a low place, they see all problems, predicaments that cannot be solved, and bad things that cannot be shaken off.
But if you stand on a high place, you can see all the scenery, and you can find an exit wherever you go.
In the book, the author emphasizes that if the following two points are achieved, the mental level will be raised to a higher level.
1. Learn not to mind and allow anything to happen
The book points out that the so-called pain is actually a kind of strength that is deepened by resistance.
It follows the following rules: the more you resist, the more painful, the more accepting, the easier it is.
When you are tormented by pain, try to look down on it and accept life as it all.
Calm your mind and allow everything to happen, no matter how big the wind and waves are, they can't break you.
2. Try not to shy away from turning suffering into a gift
The philosopher Rabindranath Tagore said, "The light is in front of us, if only you can endure the pain and walk through the darkness." Your burdens will become gifts, and your sufferings will light your way. ”
Pain is an opportunity for the awakening of people's consciousness, and it is also a "gift" on the road to growth.
All the hardships you have endured and the sins you have endured will in turn become signposts that guide you in the direction of your life.
By gritting your teeth and surpassing them, you will surpass your past self and forge a higher mind.
2
When you feel lost, broaden your thinking
Writer Zhou Ling put forward three major confusions in life: I don't know myself, my life goals are extremely vague, and I can't think of what I want at all.
In "Mind Awakening", the young man Mark is like this.
Since he was a child, his parents and teachers have repeatedly emphasized to him: "Either you don't do everything, and you do your best if you want to do it." ”
Therefore, at every stage of life, he did not dare to relax in the slightest.
He went all the way to key schools, found high-paying jobs, and was the first among his peers to buy a house and a car.
But he didn't feel a sense of accomplishment, and his heart was occupied by emptiness and confusion.
Because he is always chasing the "best" in the worldly sense, he has no idea what he really wants.
The author instructed him to observe more "not so good" people.
He found that there were people around him who didn't get into good schools, and people who couldn't find decent jobs, but they were still happy.
It turns out that a person can live well without pursuing the best.
He breaks out of his mindset and allows himself to experiment and make mistakes.
Eventually, he found a more ideal career, and his whole state became relaxed.
There is a saying in the book: We seem to be free, but in reality we have no freedom at all.
Judgment from the outside world is like a heavy shackle, framing everyone in a narrow space.
Once you choose to obey blindly, you will be like a puppet, going back and forth in a daze.
Over time, you will not see other possibilities and lose your vigorous vitality.
If you want to find a way to live that suits you, you have to get out of the cage of your mind and broaden the breadth of your mind.
In the book, the author recommends 2 methods:
1. Break path dependence and extend the boundaries of thinking
"Mental Awakening" points out that everyone's cognitive thinking depends on the influence of the people around them and the mainstream values of society.
The only way to awaken your inner voice is to step out of the established framework and look at life from a different perspective.
Just like humans observe ants, take a holistic look at everything around you, and your life may no longer have boundaries.
2. Get rid of the binary opposition and find more options
The book says that our confusion and internal friction are closely related to the mental model of "duality".
In the eyes of binary opposition, everyone and everything is either/or, with no middle ground.
People with a broad mind will give more possibilities in life, and even transform good and bad into each other.
Breaking the limitations of binary opposition, the more open your mind is, the wider the world you see.
3
When you feel anxious, extend the length of time
In "Awakening of the Mind", there is a visitor who makes a deep impression on the author.
Visitors blindly set high financial goals without considering the actual situation.
Sometimes she feels that she can achieve her financial goals, works very hard, and even tires down;
Sometimes I fall into the powerlessness and despair of "I can't do it", and it takes several days to recover from mental malaise.
As a result, the rate of income growth was far from keeping up with the anxiety that gushed out, and she was physically and mentally exhausted.
In fact, situations like her are not uncommon in life.
Some people want to make rapid progress after completing a course, some people fantasize about having an epiphany immediately after reading a book, and some people want to be promoted after working for one year and complete things in five years in one year.
The author argues that the more impatient a person is, the more restless he becomes, and in the end, it often backfires.
She also used an "enhancement loop" to explain: because she is too eager to achieve results, she can't sink her mind to do things, so she can't get the results she wants, and then falls into an endless cycle of infinite reincarnation......
Dong Qing said in "The Reader": "Waiting is a game between us and time, and we rely on wisdom and endurance to make an exchange with the future." ”
There is a quantitative change first, and then there is a qualitative change, and you must have the patience to be impatient and impatient, and you must follow the gradual process of doing things.
On the road of life, people with a long-term mind may not be able to go fast, but they often go more steadily and further.
So, how do we extend the length of the mind?
In "Awakening the Mind", the author gives the following 2 suggestions:
1. Work hard and adhere to long-termism
Most of the anxiety in life comes from seeing the results immediately after giving and getting the rewards immediately after the investment.
But life is very long, the road should be taken step by step, and the meal must be eaten one bite at a time.
Only those who spare time and patience can receive the highest reward of fate.
2. Convert the frame of reference and stretch the long timeline
The book points out that a grain of rice is too big for an ant to cross, but too small to be seen in the eyes of an elephant.
As long as you change the frame of reference, any stress and troubles will become small, or even disappear all at once.
When you're worried about the trivial things at hand, try to stretch the timeline and re-weigh it in a space that is further away.
Those anxieties, worries, and urgency become insignificant dust, and you will no longer be troubled by them.
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In the book, the author uses a diagram to illustrate that the ascension of the mind is the key to improving the level of life.
People with chaotic minds are like caged birds, no matter how hard they try, they can't fly out of the rules and regulations that trap them;
And once a person opens his mind, awakens his mind, and his thinking continues to evolve, there is no situation in this world that can trap him.
Albert Einstein said: The answer to all questions is on another level, and it can only be solved when your mind is raised.
What limits us is never the setbacks of the outside world, but our own limitations, narrow-mindedness and short-sightedness.
Always remember that you are the only one standing in your way.
When your mind is strong, no obstacle is vulnerable.
Like it, continue to update the brain, advanced cognition, whoever can have a higher mind, who can control their own destiny.
Author: Insight Xu Chaodu