There were eight chicken legs on the table, I ate one, my daughter-in-law smashed the mop, my son had a gloomy face, and I went home that night. I wanted to have a good chat with them, but I didn't know what to say in the face of my indifferent son and daughter-in-law.
Back at home, I lay in bed and kept thinking about what had happened today. My son and I have always been close, but since he got married, our relationship has become very stiff. His wife didn't seem to be very nice to me, and she looked cold every time we met. Thinking of his son's naughty appearance when he was a child, his eyes were sour.
After a few days, I couldn't hold it anymore and took the initiative to call my son and ask them to come over. My son agreed, but there was a hint of detachment in his tone, which made me feel very uncomfortable. But for the sake of family harmony, I decided to persevere.
When they arrived at my house, my daughter-in-law brought a big bag of chicken legs, and I knew it was a piece of her heart. Holding back tears, I greeted them as I arrived. We talked for a long time, but the atmosphere was still awkward.
Suddenly, my daughter-in-law preemptively said, "Mom, I haven't had a good chat with you for a long time, I think there are a lot of misunderstandings between us, can we sit down and communicate well?" It was the first time my daughter-in-law had spoken to me like that, and I felt like I was in a dream.
And just like that, we sat down and talked together for a long time. My daughter-in-law apologized to me, saying that her previous attitude towards me was due to some work and family pressures, and hoped that I could understand. I was very touched in my heart and appreciated her courage and sincerity.
My son finally spoke, and he told me that after getting married, he also had some involuntary places, and hoped that I could be more considerate of him. As we confide in each other, the knots in our hearts are gradually unraveled.
When they left, I felt a lot more relaxed. The conflict between the son and daughter-in-law was resolved, and our family was reconnected. This made me deeply understand that communication and understanding are the keys to maintaining family harmony. Maybe from now on, our relationship will become more harmonious.
In the days that followed, the atmosphere at home seemed to become more relaxed and congenial. I also communicate more with my son and daughter-in-law, who come to visit me regularly with some fruit or small gifts. We ate and talked together, as if we had been reborn.
However, I don't know when it started, and the conflict at home seems to have begun to heat up again. We had a misunderstanding during a meeting, and that misunderstanding slowly turned into an argument. It turned out that I once inadvertently said something that caused a misunderstanding between my son and daughter-in-law. They thought I was being partial, and I felt that they were blaming me for being excessive.
This time the contradiction seems to be more acute than before. There seems to be another barrier in our communication, and the relationship we just repaired seems to be starting to deteriorate again.
That night, I lay in bed, tossing and turning, thinking. It seems that the contradictions between us have never really been resolved, but have only been temporarily covered up. I'm not sure what to do. This kind of family dispute made me feel irritable and a little hesitant at the same time. Perhaps, we really need to take the time to sort out these misunderstandings and contradictions.
The next day, I took the initiative to invite my son and daughter-in-law to come over again. Their attitude is still cold, and I know that this conflict will not be easy to solve. After a moment of silence, I finally picked myself up and spoke to them in a calm tone about my inner dissatisfaction and doubts. They also began to express their opinions, while blaming each other. Our conversation became more and more intense, and the scene was deadlocked.
Suddenly, the daughter-in-law choked up and said, "Actually, it's all because you don't understand my needs and expectations, and you always arrange for me, but you don't know my own thoughts." "Her crying broke the dead silence, and I realized the real pain in her heart. I held her hand tightly and said emotionally, "I'm sorry that I didn't think it through and only cared about arranging for you, but I didn't listen carefully to your heart. ”
My son also stopped blaming, and he told me about the pressure of work and family, his exhaustion and confusion. It turns out that his heart is also full of contradictions, and he needs understanding and support. "Dad, Mom, I didn't mean to be cold to you, it's just that I've been too busy lately, and I'm overwhelmed by a lot of things. My son looked at me, his words full of helplessness and pain.
We broke our defenses against each other and began to listen openly to each other's needs and demands. In this process, our conflicts and misunderstandings were gradually resolved, and the family relationship was once again shortened. We're not perfect, but in listening and understanding, we find the bond that connects us.
After that day, our family relationship seemed to take a turn for the better. My son and daughter-in-law are also more proactive in contacting me, and sometimes they bring their children to visit me. I looked happily at the family and thought to myself, maybe the problems between the families could really be solved slowly.
However, there are still some small frictions and misunderstandings from time to time, and life is like a cup of hot tea, sometimes warm, sometimes a little bitter.
Once, I cooked a big dinner to celebrate their family's move into a new house. I thought they should be happy, but unexpectedly, they put on a not very happy expression. I was a little puzzled, and couldn't help asking, "What's wrong, is it that the dishes on the table are not enough for your appetite?" They shook their heads, their expressions were a little complicated, and the daughter-in-law said, "Mother-in-law, we actually want to discuss something with you......"
My heart tightened, and I felt like I was back to the tense atmosphere I had before.
She continued: "You know that the child is almost at school now, and we want to send him to a better school, but the cost is relatively high, and we are still a little difficult for the time being...... So I wanted to ask if you could help us a little. ”
Hearing this, I have mixed feelings. In fact, I am old, and I have a lot of expenses in life, especially since the financial situation has not been good recently. But I was a little reluctant to refuse them. But they thought I wouldn't hesitate to agree.
I looked at them, and my heart was full of helplessness and contradictions. As much as I would love to help them, I have a lot to take care of myself. I don't know how to answer it.
When I thought that the family was finally back together, new conflicts crept in. One day, I accidentally lost a precious necklace that my husband gave me when he got married, and it is one of my most cherished items. I searched around and finally found the necklace in my daughter-in-law's room.
I asked my daughter-in-law if she had seen the necklace, and she was at a loss. Suddenly, my son rushed in and confronted my daughter-in-law of stealing, angrily saying that she was his wife and that it was absolutely impossible for me to do such a thing. I was shocked that I didn't blame her directly, just asked. Our quarrel became more and more intense, and eventually, the son left with his daughter-in-law without saying a word.
With a heavy heart, I don't know what to do. I didn't believe my daughter-in-law would do such a thing, but the necklace was in her room. I decided to talk to my daughter-in-law, there must have been some misunderstanding. This time, I want to calm down and understand the truth of the matter rationally.
Soon, the Spring Festival is coming. My son's family said that they would go back to their in-laws' house for the New Year, and I also prepared a sumptuous Chinese New Year's Eve dinner at home. Just as I was pondering how the Chinese New Year would be more lively, the doorbell rang.
I opened the door and saw my brother and his son standing in the doorway. The younger brother smiled and said, "Brother, we're fine, just come and see you." "He took his son, my nephew. My brother's son was studying in another place and had very little time to go home, so I was very happy to see him.
We sat together in the living room and chatted, and my brother asked me, "Do you have any arrangements for Chinese New Year's Eve?" and I said, "My son is going to his mother-in-law's house for the New Year, so I am going to spend it at home by myself." The younger brother frowned when he heard this, and he said, "Your son doesn't accompany you for the New Year? ”
I was a little embarrassed and said, "They have their own business at home, and they're coming back to see me." I'm so happy you're here. The younger brother shook his head and stopped talking about the subject.
My brother and nephew stayed at my house for a few days. My nephew cared about me every day, walked with me and chatted with me. These days, I feel very happy.
Until one day, I saw a piece of news that surprised and delighted me - my son's friend explained to me the reason why my son did not come home for the Chinese New Year. It turned out that his son wanted to make more money and spend more money to visit me, and he wanted to keep more for me. When I read this passage, I felt both relieved and distressed, he was a filial child.
However, when I told my brother about this, he was unimpressed. He said, "Why are you so stupid? The child gave up spending the New Year with you, and you still made excuses for him." I felt hurt by this sentence, and I knew that my brother was also doing it for my good, but his words made waves in my heart.
In order not to let the embarrassing atmosphere continue, I had to say helplessly: "Maybe you are all for my good, but I think my son also has his own difficulties." The younger brother said, "Brother, you are too soft-hearted, you have spoiled the children." This sentence made me even more uneasy.
As the Chinese New Year approached, I felt more and more uneasy. The conflict between this family seems to be more complicated than I expected. How do I deal with this?
After a long time, the relationship between my son and daughter-in-law has improved a lot, and our family often has dinner together and has a good time. Recently, however, I've noticed some signs that something is wrong. Every time I had dinner, my son and daughter-in-law always seemed to be arguing with each other, and their communication was a little sharp, which made me feel very uneasy.
At a family gathering, I finally couldn't help but ask my son, "Have you had any conflicts lately?" My son's face suddenly became ugly, he was silent for a while, and then whispered: "Mom, in fact, we do have some conflicts recently. ”
It turned out that there were indeed some problems between the son and the daughter-in-law, who originally seemed to be harmonious on the surface. They have a lot of stress at work, plus some household chores, which leads to some unpleasant things. I asked a few questions, and they got into an argument and took me as someone to talk to. I tried my best to calm the conflict between them, but I also felt clearly that this was a problem between them and I could not solve it for them.
These conflicts make me feel upset, after all, I am their mother, and I always feel depressed when I see my children having conflicts. Perhaps, conflicts are inevitable, but as an elder, I still hope that they can get along. However, how to resolve these contradictions makes me feel powerless.
All this made me reflect. Perhaps, family conflicts cannot be completely avoided. Each of us will have our own troubles and troubles, but the most important thing is to learn how to face and solve them. I can't help but think about the trials and tribulations that my husband and I went through, and how we overcame them together.
Perhaps, family harmony requires the joint efforts of everyone, tolerance and understanding. I hope to be able to give me the help and support I can without destroying the space for them to deal with their own problems. I believe that as long as they are willing to listen to each other and communicate openly, the conflicts between them can be resolved.
Perhaps, this is the true portrayal of the family. The family is not a paradise where everything is smooth sailing and free of strife, but a place where everyone needs to work hard for harmony. I will do my best as a mother and mother-in-law, and I believe that they will find their own solutions. The road to family may be tortuous and bumpy, but the most important thing is that no matter what, we have to face it together.