An important life decision, for me, was to stop in front of an old-fashioned night market stall and buy that legendary magic lamp. The stall owner smiled and told me that if I rubbed the lamp three times, then closed my eyes and made a wish, it would come true. Little did I know at the time that this decision would be the most difficult decision of my life.
When I got home, I rubbed the magic lamp according to the stall owner's instructions, closed my eyes, and silently made a wish: so that my father could get rid of depression and get back on his feet. However, when I opened my eyes, I found that the magic lamp was missing from the room, and only a letter remained. I opened it and it said: This wish will require you to understand and tolerate, and you will need to face it bravely.
I think of my dad's recent state, he was silent all day long, and he didn't show interest in anything. I tried to talk to him, but he always avoided it. I started to feel anxious, worried that he was getting more and more depressed. Spent days in such worries.
Until that evening, I received a strange phone call, the voice of a strange woman. She asked me for help, she worked in a bar deep in the city, earning 2,000 yuan a month, but she was now in her sixties. She cried and begged me not to come, she was afraid that she would not be able to bear it, that she would eventually leave. Hearing the cry of a strange woman, my first reaction was to hang up the phone, but there was an inexplicable pity in my heart.
Her cry seemed to bring back the figure of my father - when I was a child, my father was a bold and sunny person, but in recent years, he seems to have changed as a person, with a sad face all day long, and he is not interested in anything. I gradually realized that it was probably because of my mother's unexpected death that my father fell into such a state of depression. I kept trying to cheer him up, but my dad kept avoiding my care and help.
The cry of the strange woman made me understand that maybe I should take the initiative to talk to my father like a strange woman, so that he could open up and pour out the pain in my heart. Like a strange woman, I should gradually learn to be tolerant and understanding, instead of blindly asking my father to live his life according to my expectations.
This life decision made me wake up from a dream. I decided to talk to my father the next day.
The next day, I went to my father's house. As soon as I entered the door, I smelled a smell of alcohol. I suddenly felt a little chilled, and it seemed that my father had begun to indulge in alcohol again. When I walked into the living room, I saw my father sitting alone on the couch, with a bottle of liquor in his hand, and his face was haggard. I walked up to him and said softly, "Dad, I want to talk to you, can you listen to me for a few words?" Father raised his head, his eyes full of confusion and sadness, but he still nodded.
I pulled up a chair and sat down and said, "Dad, you know it's sad for Mommy to leave us. I can understand your pain, but we still have families and jobs to take care of. I hope you can come out of this shadow, pick yourself up again, and face life with me. The father listened silently, his eyes revealing a hint of emotion and guilt.
Just as I was communicating with my father, my phone rang again. This time it was the voice of a strange man who asked me if I was so-and-so's daughter. I answered his question, and he told me that he was my father's colleague outside. Then he continued: "I was going to give your dad a chance, but it seems that he still hasn't been able to let go of the past, I want to make it clear to you, our unit is going to have an award in the near future, although your dad is okay at work, but he has been absent from work or late and early to leave recently, and his mind is always not on work." I feel the need for me to communicate with you, after all, his work is also related to the development of our unit. ”
Hearing this, my heart was a little heavy. The father's indulgence and avoidance did not stop at the family, and even problems began to arise at work. I pondered for a moment and decided to put down my phone and continue to talk to my dad to see if I could solve his problems at the root.
"Dad, you know what? Your employer recently had an award, and your work status has caught the attention of your colleagues. They realize that your mind is not on your work and they are worried about affecting your productivity. After I said this, Dad's expression became a little distorted, he lowered his head and was silent for a while, "I'm sorry, kid, I disappointed you." ”
I shook his hand and said seriously, "Dad, you didn't disappoint me. I'm worried about you, I'm worried that if you continue like this, you'll be too heavy to bear. I want you to be honest about your emotions and not use alcohol to escape. We all miss our mom, but she also wants us to be well, especially you. I hope you can pick yourself back up, not only for yourself, but for us. ”
The father nodded silently, with some tears in his eyes. I know that this dialogue is just the beginning, and that more challenges and difficulties await us. But I was determined that no matter what, I would stay by my father's side and go through this difficult time with him.
I pushed open the door to my father's room, and he was sitting on the edge of the bed, his head bowed, his hands over his face. This kind of scene makes me feel pity, but my heart is also full of uneasiness. I sat on the edge of the bed and whispered to my father.
"Dad, have you been unhappy lately because you miss your mother?"
The father didn't answer, but his shoulders trembled visibly. I continued to persuade: "Dad, even if Mommy is gone, we still have to live strongly. I know you're sad, but if you've been immersed in grief like this, mom will worry about you in heaven too. "
The father looked up, his eyes filled with tears. "Son, Dad is really sad. I've always felt sorry for you mother and daughter. There was a lot of guilt in his voice.
I took his hand and said gently, "Dad, I don't blame you, and Mom won't blame you either." We all know that you are a very good person. I tried my best to give my father encouragement and warmth, but his knots did not soothe.
Just as we were confiding in each other, the phone rang suddenly. I looked at the number and saw that it was a strange woman's. I put the phone on silent for a while and continued to chat with my father. But then my father began to look impatient, and he interrupted me stiffly, and his expression became unusually agitated. It baffled me, and I couldn't understand why my father was suddenly so irritable at this time.
Unexpectedly, the phone rang again, and my father snatched the phone. I saw that the expression on his face had become distorted, as if it was difficult to control himself. He answered the phone and began to growl.
"Shut up! I'll never hear you again!" my father's face flushed terribly, startling me. A deep male voice came from the other end of the phone: "Old man, you often come to my mother with money, you need to take care of yourself." "
I was at a loss, my father was completely different from the one I knew well. Sensitive in my heart, I immediately understood the reason for my father's annoyance. The man on the other end of the line must have pointed to the two thousand dollars paid by his father, which was a sum of money for solace.
Hearing my father irritated by strangers' words made me feel an unusually impulsive heart. But I understand that the most important thing right now is to solve the problem calmly. I tried to persuade my father, but he didn't say a word to me and walked out of the room. I watched his back disappear into the hallway, and I felt a pang of confusion. What should I do?
I decided to talk to my dad and let him open up and pour out his inner pain. The next day, I opened my father's door and saw that he was still gloomy. I paused for a moment, then said, "Dad, I want to talk to you about Mommy." ”
A look of pain flashed in Dad's eyes, but he nodded slowly. We sat on the couch and I gently asked about mom. At first, Dad's answer was short and his tone was low. But I decided to persevere, believing that as long as Dad could release the pain in his heart, he would be able to get out of the haze.
As the conversation deepened, Dad's mood began to fluctuate, sometimes silent, sometimes sad, sometimes angry. I listened quietly and let my dad's emotions unleash. Slowly, I realized that my father was not as fragile as I imagined, and he had a lot of unspeakable pain and struggles in his heart.
However, just then, I received a call from my mother's former friend. She told me that her father had been messing around outside lately and had even taken in a woman who was much younger than him. I was angry and shocked, how could this be? My father knew about my past with my mother, but he was so disrespectful of his family and indulged himself. I felt heartache and despair, and felt that my efforts seemed so small.
In the face of my father's betrayal, I was deeply struggling. I asked my father, but all I got was, "It's none of your business." "However, I can't calm my heart now, and my father's betrayal makes my heart like a knife.
It took me all night to finally find my father's favorite teahouse. The teahouse was already overcrowded, and there was a lot of lively chatter and laughter everywhere. I found my father in the crowd and walked forward.
"Dad, I want to have a good chat with you. I said to him.
My father frowned, looked at me for a moment, and then spoke after a long while. "Why are you here? This is not for you, go back quickly. ”
"Dad, I know you have a lot to say to me, and I have something to say to you. Can you sit down and have a good talk?" I tried to convince him.
The father remained silent, his eyes wandering. I know it's not going to be easy. But I firmly took his hand and led him to a quiet corner. I decided that I was going to try to put myself in his shoes and understand his inner pain.
We sat in the teahouse for a long time, and my father remained silent. My heart grew a little heavier, but I decided to hold on a little longer. Just as I was about to say something, there was a sudden noise in the teahouse.
"Ladies and gentlemen, I'm sorry to disturb you. Today, I have specially invited a psychiatrist for you, and she will provide you with free consultation. The teahouse owner's voice rang out.
I looked at my father, and his eyes seemed to flicker. He turned to leave, and I grabbed him.
"Dad, can you give it a try?" I said with a glimmer of hope.
The father was silent for a moment, then finally nodded.
The psychiatrist is a middle-aged woman named Dr. Lee. She consulted her father for a series of consultations, and he spoke slowly under her guidance. I listened quietly and saw the expression on my father's face that was sad for a while, angry for a moment, and even cried for a moment. I took his hand and silently accompanied him.
Dr. Lee told us that my father's pain was due to the fact that he had been haunted by his mother's loss, but he was reluctant to express it. She hoped that her father would be able to release the sadness in his heart and thus gain peace of mind.
Faced with Dr. Lee's suggestion, my father was a little hesitant. After all, it was not easy for him to open up the pain in his heart. Seeing all this, I began to hesitate in my heart - maybe all this was the result of my impulse, and now I am becoming anxious.
Long ago, from my father's fierce resistance, I understood that he was not willing to speak up as I would like. He always drank silently alone and rarely spoke. I don't know what he was going through inside and why he lost hope in life so much. Perhaps, in the face of his depression, I can only sit and wait until he wants to open his mouth to tell me about his troubles.
Until one day, I found a letter at the door of my house, written by a strange woman, who thanked me for not going to her and let her escape for a while. I didn't understand what she was talking about until I went upstairs and opened the door to my father's room, only to find that he was long gone.
At this time, I realized that my father was not silent and depressed because of my mother's death, but because he had an unspeakable relationship with this strange woman. I was very angry and aggrieved, it turned out that when he was facing the pain of his mother's death, he turned around and found another woman and depressed himself. I felt that the whole world had collapsed, and the happiness of the family that I had worked so hard to save was actually my father using another woman's body to fill the void that my mother had left forever.
Now I feel like a knife in my heart and terrified. I didn't know how to deal with my father's betrayal, and I didn't know how to deal with the collapse of the family relationship that I was about to face. I was conflicted, as if Heaven was testing my tolerance and understanding. Now, I can only wait silently to see where I can go to find the warmth of home again......