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My name is Li Xiaofang, I am 31 years old, and I am an ordinary middle school Chinese teacher. I have been married for six years, and my husband's name is Wang Qiang, who is two years older than me and is a sales manager of a foreign company. We also have a lively and lovely son named Wang Tiantian, who is now five years old.
Until one day, I suddenly received a message from a stranger on social software, who claimed to be my high school classmate, named Li Lei. I thought about it for a long time and was not impressed, but I still accepted his friend request.
"Xiaofang, do you remember me? I'm Li Lei, a class in our high school. ”
"Ah, Li Lei, I'm sorry, I've been thinking about it for a long time and I'm not impressed. High school is far too long gone. ”
"Haha, it doesn't matter, after all, high school was almost more than ten years ago. I'm working in Beijing now, and I thought of you by chance, so I added you. How are you doing?"
"Xiaofang, I'm still very excited to see your news. I remember when you were in high school, you were a very good person and you studied well Xi. How are you doing now?"
"I'm okay, I'm married, I have children, I am an ordinary middle school Chinese teacher, and my life is very ordinary. But I'm used to it now, Xi too. ”
"Wow, you're married and have children? I'm still single, and I'm very busy at work, so I basically work and hang out with friends. Sometimes it's a bit lonely. ”
"yes, I don't think it's easy for a bachelor like you either. Eat alone often, without feeling at home. ”
"yes, that's why I'm so envious of you right now. Xiaofang, let's come out alone and get together, and catch up with the old days!"
Li Lei's invitation caught me a little off guard. To go out to eat alone with a person of the opposite sex, it seems a little out of place. But thinking that he is now working hard outside by himself, I don't think there is any need to worry too much.
"Well, it's good to catch up with each other. It just so happens that Wang Qiang is going to take the children to his grandfather's house next Saturday, and I have nothing to do at home alone. ”
"Great!
In this way, we finally agreed to meet at Nanhu Park at noon on Saturday. I told Wang Qiang about this in advance, but he didn't say much, just told me to pay attention to safety.
On Saturday, I deliberately put on light makeup and chose a light blue dress that Wang Qiang bought for me. I haven't dressed up for a long time, and when I look at myself in the mirror, I feel a little strange.
At noon, I came to Nanhu Park as promised, and Li Lei was already waiting for me on a stone bench by the lake. He wears a simple white shirt, jeans, and a pair of black-rimmed glasses, and looks bookish.
"Li Lei, have you waited for a long time?" I walked over with some embarrassment.
"No, no, I've only been here for ten minutes, just here to enjoy the view of the lake. Xiaofang, you look so beautiful. Li Lei stood up and hugged me.
"Where, where, I am already a woman, how can I have the beautiful girl's demeanor back then. "I'm a little embarrassed.
"You're more feminine now, much more mature and stable than you were back then. Let's go to the restaurant by the lake for dinner. ”
Li Lei took me to a fine restaurant by the lake and ordered a few signature dishes. I chatted with him over a meal and talked about everything we had in high school.
"Haha, do you remember? I almost lost, but I thought I couldn't let everyone's efforts go to waste, so I gritted my teeth and insisted on finishing. ”
"yes, we all saw you sweating on your forehead, but you ran as hard as you could. I admire your willpower. ”
"Thank you, Li Lei. Actually, I was very panicked in my heart, but I thought that I couldn't live up to everyone, so I mustered up the courage to finish the run. ”
"Well, you've always been a strong girl. Xiaofang, it's good to meet you. Li Lei looked at me seriously.
"Li Lei, I'm also very happy to meet you. You are one of my favorite friends. I bowed my head a little embarrassed.
"Xiaofang, you're blushing. Actually, I liked you when I was in high school, but I didn't have the courage to confess to you. I didn't expect that after so many years, we would be able to meet again today. I'm really happy. ”
Li Lei's words surprised me a little. It turns out that when I was in high school, he liked me too. The thought that he has been single all these years also stirred up ripples in my heart.
"Li Lei, I am also very happy to meet again. However, now that I'm married, we can only be good friends. I whispered.
"I know, Xiaofang. As long as you're happy. I will always support you. ”
After the party with Li Lei that day, I had mixed feelings. It turned out that he liked me when he was in high school, which caught me off guard.
After that, Li Lei and I began to contact frequently. We'd talk, talk on the phone, and occasionally have a meal together. When I was with Li Lei, I felt very happy, as if I had returned to my carefree student days.
One day, Li Lei called me and invited me to go to the countryside on the weekend.
"Xiaofang, the weather is so good on the weekend, let's go out for a walk. I just saw an online introduction to a suburban Qingshan Lake, the scenery is beautiful, suitable for a picnic. ”
"Okay, I just want to go out for a walk, and I'm suffocated after staying at home for a long time. ”
"Great! I'll pick you up on Saturday, and we'll drive over together. ”
"Well, okay. I'll make sandwiches or something and make a simple picnic. ”
In this way, on Saturday morning, Li Lei drove to pick me up, and we headed to Qingshan Lake together. The scenery by the lake is really beautiful, the mountains and rivers are beautiful, and the birds are singing and the flowers are fragrant. We found a grassy area to spread a picnic cloth and opened the sandwich fruit.
"Xiaofang, the scenery here is so beautiful. To be able to come here for a picnic with you feels like I'm in a dream. Li Lei said with a smile.
"yes, it's beautiful! We should have been in this place together when we were in high school. ”
"I thought so too. Xiaofang, I feel very happy to be with you. ”
Li Lei looked at me seriously, and my heartbeat couldn't help but speed up.
"Li Lei, I'm also very happy with you. However, we can only be friends. ”
"I know. It's just that when I'm with you, I can't help but wonder what it would be like if we were together. ”
"Don't think about it so much. Eat it, the sandwiches are going to be cold. "I was a little shy and tried to change the subject.
"Okay, let's eat. But Xiaofang, you're blushing, it's so beautiful. ”
"Eat your sandwich!"
We happily finished our picnic and walked along the lake. Li Lei also picked a small bouquet of wildflowers for me. It was a happy day, but I also had a faint sense of apprehension.
After that, Li Lei and I met more and more frequently. We would eat together, go shopping, and watch movies. I felt very comfortable with him. Gradually, I also had some thoughts about Li Lei that I shouldn't have, but I told myself to stay sane.
On this day, Li Lei asked me out for dinner again. After eating, he drove me home. When he got downstairs to my house, he stopped the car and didn't leave immediately.
"Xiaofang, I really like you. I feel so happy when I'm with you. Li Lei looked at me and said.
"I know, but I really can't help it. Li Lei said and kissed him. I panicked a little, but didn't push him away either.
The kiss was short, but it broke the boundaries between us.
"Xiaofang, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have been like this. Li Lei looked at me and said.
My brain was a bit of a mess and I didn't know what to say.
"It's okay, Li Lei, it's also my responsibility. It's just that we can't go on. ”
"Xiaofang, I really like you. The time I spent with you these days is the happiest I've had in years. I'll wait for you, no matter how long. ”
I looked at Li Lei's firm eyes, and my heart was like numbness.
"Li Lei, it's time for me to go up. Let's forget about today's events. ”
I hurriedly got out of the car and ran upstairs.
That night, I had insomnia until the wee hours of the morning. My mind is full of pictures of Li Lei and him kissing me. I know this is not true and that I should not betray my family. But I just can't control my growing feelings for Li Lei.
After that, I tried to minimize contact with Li Lei, but I found that I couldn't do without him. A week later, I still called Li Lei.
"Li Lei, let's meet. ”
"Okay, Xiaofang, I want to see you too. ”
We made another appointment to have dinner at a hotel. After eating, the atmosphere was a little awkward.
"I'm sorry, I was wrong last time. Xiaofang, I can wait for you, we can take our time. Li Lei looked at me and said.
"Li Lei, I'm also very messy. I don't know what to do. ”
"It's okay, you don't have to give me an answer right now. I can wait. ”
I nodded, and Li Lei sent me home. He didn't kiss me again, just hugged me gently.
Back home, I felt like a kid who had done something wrong. Wang Qiang had already fallen asleep, I washed lightly, lay on the bed, but I had insomnia again.
"Wife, you don't look very good, is it because of too much pressure at work?"
"Ah, maybe. It's been a bit tired lately. I replied vaguely.
"Then you have to take a break. I'll make some tonic for you in the evening. Wang Qiang said with concern.
Seeing his concern, I felt even more indebted to him. This man is so good to me, but I am tempted outside.
After that, I blamed my exhaustion for the hard work. In order to take care of me, Wang Qiang took the initiative to take on more housework. I feel like a bottomless pit, accepting Wang Qiang's care, but I still continue to meet Li Lei.
I was in self-loathing, but I just couldn't help myself. Li Lei is like a poison, I know that he is wrong, but I can't help but continue to contact.
We went to a bar, ordered some drinks, and chatted over a drink.
"Xiaofang, I've been thinking about you all this time. I really like you. Li Lei looked at me and said.
Alcohol paralyzed my reason, and I said frankly: "Me too, Li Lei." I can't stop thinking about you. ”
"Then let's be together, get out of here, and go to a place where it's just you and me. ”
"Xiaofang, there is nothing wrong with choosing the life and love you want. ”
I shook my glass and fell into deep thought.
"Xiaofang, are you okay?" Li Lei asked with concern.
"It's okay, you're drunk, I'll take you home. ”
Li Lei helped me into the car. I was a little confused and leaned on his shoulder.
When I arrived downstairs at my house, Li Lei helped me to the door and turned around to leave.
"Xiaofang, you're drunk, I can't go in. ”
"Just a moment, please come in and sit down for a while before you leave. ”
Li Lei hesitated, but still followed me into the door. I poured him a glass of water and we sat on the couch in the living room.
"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have drunk so much tonight. "I'm a little remorseful.
"It's okay, it's me who shouldn't have asked you to drink. Xiaofang, do you still love Wang Qiang now?" Li Lei asked.
"Then let's not make a hasty decision. When you think clearly, feel free to contact me. ”
"Hmm. ”
"Xiaofang, it's time for me to go. You go to rest. ”
"Good. ”
Li Lei got up to leave, but I grabbed him and kissed him. Li Lei also hugged me tightly and kissed me back.
"Li Lei, are you awake?" I nudged him gently.
"Hmm, good morning. Li Lei said in a daze.
"Hurry up and leave, my husband may come back at any time. ”
"Okay, I'll go. Xiaofang, I'm sorry, I was wrong last night. ”
"We're all wrong. Let's just assume it didn't happen. ”
After that, I tried to avoid contacting Li Lei and buried myself in my work. But my heart was already in turmoil, and I always thought about that night involuntarily.
One day, Wang Qiang suddenly asked me, "Wife, have you been thinking about something lately?" ”
I replied humbly, "No, it's just that I'm busy with work." ”
"Is school stressing you too much? Do you want to consider changing to an easier job?" Wang Qiang said with concern.
"It's okay, I can handle it. However, you have been working late late, so you should also pay attention to your body. "I tried to change the subject.
"Well, the project is busy during this time, and it will be fine after a while. Don't work too hard, just tell me anything. ”
Wang Qiang's thoughtfulness made me feel even more guilty. During this time, I went out early and returned late, and the distance between him became more and more distant, but he still cared for me as always.
I made up my mind to cut off contact with Li Lei and re-establish a relationship with Wang Qiang. At this moment, Li Lei suddenly called.
"Xiaofang, why haven't you contacted me for so long?
"Li Lei, I don't think we should contact each other anymore. It was a mistake that day, sorry. ”
"There's nothing to explain! I don't want to hear it anymore. Don't contact me in the future. I hung up.
But I knew in my heart that the problem was not that night, but the growing feelings for Li Lei in my heart.
After that, Li Lei still kept sending me messages and calling, but I didn't answer.
Until one day, Wang Qiang asked me: "Wife, are you having an affair? ”
I panicked, "What kind of affair? What are you talking about?"
"Don't pretend, I've seen it all. You and a man often go in and out of hotels, and yesterday I saw you walking into a hotel with him. You tell me the truth, what the hell is going on?" Wang Qiang said solemnly.
I was silent. It turned out that Wang Qiang had noticed it a long time ago, but he never exposed me.
"I'm sorry, I did something wrong, you calm down, let's have a good talk. I choked up.
"I really misjudged you! We have been married for many years, and I have always been in love with you, but you have a man outside!" Wang Qiang roared angrily.
"What's the use of beating you! From today onwards, I don't want to see you again!"
After Wang Qiang said this, he slammed the door and left. I cried bitterly, but I knew it was all my fault.
After that, I moved out of the house and moved into a rental house by myself. Wang Qiang directly filed for divorce, I knew that this was the punishment I deserved, and I didn't resist, I just begged him to let me see the child.
I messaged Li Lei that it was impossible for us to be together, and then cut off contact. I started to live a life of displacement, often changing places.
I found myself dressing more and more at unexpected watches, often buying expensive clothes and jewelry for solace. I was like a lost child, at a loss.