That afternoon, my mom and I went on a blind date. The other party was a 30-year-old man who was said to drive a very stylish car. Although I am only 23 years old, I have always felt that I am quite independent and do not need to rely on men. The blind date's car was waiting for us in the parking lot, and when I saw the car, I couldn't help but mutter, "I can't climb high!" Mom heard it and frowned, but didn't say anything.
When we entered the restaurant, the man politely stood up to greet us. I looked at him, a smile barely raising into my mouth. He's handsome and dressed in a formal suit, but I'm still suspicious of him. During the meal, he took the initiative to chat with me and asked me what I liked to do and what I planned for the future. I knew he was showing himself, but I wasn't interested. The atmosphere throughout the restaurant was a little awkward.
I don't know why, but I started to recall some things from the past in my mind. When I was a child, my parents often quarreled over trivial matters in life, and I always hid in my room and didn't dare to come out. When I was in high school, I was beaten down by my mother because I didn't do well in the exam. At that time, I didn't understand, but I felt very wronged.
Now, it's not that I don't like this boy, it's just that I think there seems to be an irreconcilable conflict between us. The life he wants, I'm afraid I can't give it. I'm an independent girl, maybe I don't need to rely on a man at all. However, looking at the sincerity and efforts of the other party, I also felt a touch of emotion in my heart. At this time, my mother suddenly grabbed my hand and whispered to me, "Girl, Mom knows that you have always been strong, but some things still need time to get used to." ”
I was stunned for a moment, then nodded slightly. I know that my mother is for my good, and she has been silently supporting me. Perhaps, I have never felt the love of my family. I looked at the boy opposite, he was actually not bad, but I had always been wearing a strong coat and did not want to show my weak side to others.
Although this blind date was a bit unexpected, it also gave me some new insights in my heart. Perhaps, I need to give myself some time to look inside myself. After all, the love of my family is selfless, and I should learn to accept it. Now, the conflict in my heart is not completely resolved, and I don't know what to do next. However, I believe that time will give me the answer.
I came home and lay in bed, thinking about today's blind date experience in my mind. My mother didn't seem to be happy with my attitude towards the man, and she said to me, "What do you think of that boy?" "I was silent for a while, then told my mom that I felt there was something between us that we couldn't communicate. My mother's face was a little solemn, and she told me that not everything in life can fit perfectly, and that we should be considerate of each other and tolerate each other's differences.
The next few days were spent in a state of uncertainty. In the circle of friends, I can occasionally see the figure of the boy, he still seems to be working tirelessly, and I feel a trace of guilt. At this time, it was a critical period when the company required overtime, and I was so busy with work that I almost forgot about the blind date. Unexpectedly, one day, my mother suddenly came to me, and she said with a solemn face: "Your father has been in poor health recently, and he needs your company." ”
At that time, I was busy and under a lot of pressure at work, and I was caught off guard by my father's illness. I thought about the man who seemed strong, and I also thought about how much my dad had to endure in silence when I was a child, and I couldn't do anything for him. Now, he needs me, and I'm out of it. I realized that perhaps I had been torn between love and duty.
My busy schedule leaves me with little time to take care of my family. Coupled with the previous blind date experience, I had more thought and pressure about marriage and family. Struggling with this contradiction, I felt even more tired and lost. Perhaps, I need to re-examine my life and cherish the people and things in front of me. This contradiction seems to be becoming more and more complicated, how I should face it, how to choose, I need more time.
When I got home, I was a little tired. My mother saw my exhaustion and took the initiative to ask me about the blind date. I sighed softly and described in detail to my mom what happened that day. After hearing this, my mother sighed and said, "Girl, in fact, my mother has always supported your choice, but there are some things that need to be carefully considered. ”
That night, I was lying in bed with a lot of thoughts. The expectations of my family, the eyes of society, and my true thoughts in my heart made me feel extremely entangled. Do I have to choose a man with money and a car to reassure my family? Heroic independence and inner weakness are intertwined into chaos in my heart.
Early the next morning, I received a strange phone call, and a cold voice came from the phone: "You are XX, right? I heard that you and my son are on a blind date." "It turned out to be the mother of the blind date, and she asked me unceremoniously on the phone about the details of the blind date. Her words revealed her disdain and dissatisfaction with me, and even portrayed the image of the other gentleman in my heart, which became a different image. When I hung up, I was a little shocked. I tried to calm down, but the call kept ringing in my head.
That night, I talked to my mom about the phone. My mother's expression was a little solemn, and she told me that the family conditions of the blind date were very good, but the other party's mother was a little "difficult". My mother advised me that I should improve my posture and requirements, otherwise there will be many family conflicts in the future. Hearing this, I felt an unspeakable anger in my heart. I don't understand why my marriage choices should be influenced by family conditions and social vision? Am I just a pawn to be manipulated?
I know that the inner struggle and the entanglement between family affection will not be easily resolved. Perhaps, this is the path I need to face to grow. But I don't regret my independent choice, and I want to learn to be more determined to follow my own path. I don't know what to do with these contradictions. But I'm sure I'll find my answer.
Maybe God is playing tricks, but the boy on the blind date turned out to be a friend of my distant cousin. In the days following our separation, I often think of that familiar face in my mind. That day, I was drinking coffee alone in a nearby café when I saw a familiar figure walk in in the distance - it was my distant cousin. He had always been a naughty man, and when he saw me, he smiled brightly and went straight to my seat and sat down.
"Xiaoming, why are you here? I happened to be passing by with a friend and wanted to come in for a coffee. He looked a little surprised, but he was smiling.
I smiled and nodded. "yes, I've just been here. "The café was filled with soft music and the smell of coffee, and I started to feel a little lighter.
"I heard that you have been on a blind date recently, isn't it?
"It's okay, but I think there's a bit of a gap between us. I whispered.
"Maybe it's because you've been wearing a layer of armor to keep people from approaching you. He looked at me deeply.
This quote reminds me of my mother when I was a child, and she said something similar to me before. Perhaps, I have always used a strong exterior to hide my inner vulnerability. I couldn't help but fall silent.
"Remember when we used to play together as kids? we always found the best games and frolicked around in the courtyard of our home. He seemed to be impressed by the fond memories.
"Of course, those are my best memories. I nodded, the corners of my mouth slightly raised.
"But you've changed, you've become very independent, and sometimes I feel like we're estranged. His eyes were full of helplessness.
At that moment, my phone rang suddenly, and it happened to be a call from my mother. I picked it up with some annoyance.
"Where are you, nickname, when you go home for dinner, Mom and Dad are still waiting for you. "On the other end of the line was my mother's voice.
I looked at my distant cousin with some hesitation, and then said, "A friend of mine is here, and I can't go home for a while." Eat first, and I'll settle dinner myself. ”
After hanging up the phone, I saw a hint of guilt in my distant cousin's eyes.
"Your sister has been in a bad mood lately, she's been eating out lately. I think something might be going on in our family. He said.
When I heard him say that, my heart sank. I never thought there would be so much estrangement between me and my cousin. Perhaps, I really need to go home and have a good look. In any case, there should always be a solution to the conflict between me and my family.
On the way home, I was immersed in my own thoughts. My mother patted my hand lightly and said gently, "Girl, no matter how you choose, we will support you." Hearing this, my heart suddenly swelled with warmth. Perhaps, my family was not as simple as I thought, and they were willing to respect my choice.
When I got home, I was alone in bed, thinking about today's blind date. The boy wasn't bad, but my feelings for him were always on a friendly level. Suddenly, the phone rang, and it was a message from him. He asked me how I was feeling and if I would be interested in seeing each other again. I thought about it for a while, and finally replied, "Thank you for being with me today, but I don't think we might be a good fit." ”
This incident made me think deeply about myself. I found myself never really feeling love. The friction between my parents also seems to have distorted my expectations of love. I don't know what kind of love I need, and maybe I haven't figured it out yet. I can't help but think of the crying in the dark night when I was a child, and those pent-up emotions seem to come flooding up at this moment.
The next morning, I went to the park with my mom. The sun shines through the gaps in the leaves and shines on my face, warm. Mom smiled and said, "Girl, you must know that in fact, you have always been a sensitive and delicate child. Maybe it's because of some things about your parents that make you feel the shadow of family strife, but that doesn't mean you don't deserve to be happy. ”
I was silent for a moment and looked up at my mother. Her eyes were filled with understanding and care. I knew that perhaps I would always need the support and encouragement of my family. I suddenly felt an inexplicable warmth, a warmth that made me no longer so cold. Perhaps, I need to let go of the baggage in my heart, give myself some tolerance, and give others some opportunities.
All of this made me start to re-examine my heart. I realized that love is not simply a superficial luxury, but also a kind of companionship and understanding. I needed to find someone who could connect with my heart and not just be drawn to material things. This blind date may have given me a revelation and given me a more real understanding of my heart.
I don't know what the future will be, or maybe love is not as cold as I see it. The love of my family gave me the greatest courage, but I needed time to understand my heart. Maybe in the next confession, I will be even braver.