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I am a 43-year-old married woman, my husband's name is Lin Jianguo, and we have been married for 20 years. Our married life is uneventful, and as we get older, so does the stress of life. Lin Jianguo was busy with work, and there was not as much verbal communication between us as before.
One day, I went for a walk in the park alone, and I happened to meet a handsome 18-year-old college student, who took the initiative to greet me and introduced himself as Xiao Ming. We chatted for a while and quickly got acquainted. Xiao Ming is full of energy, and the chat is very energetic and interesting. I found myself forgetting my worries when I was with him, and I felt a lot more relaxed.
Since then, Tom and I have been in constant contact. We would go to the cinema together to watch a movie or go to the café to chat. Xiao Ming always cares about my feelings and will give me some small gifts from time to time, such as my favorite snacks or bouquets. Sometimes I feel a little embarrassed to accept that such a young boy is so good to me, but I can't help but indulge in the joy of being cared for.
Once, we went to see a horror movie. The air conditioning in the cinema was low, and I shivered with cold. Xiao Ming took the initiative to take off his coat and put it on me, and then opened his arms and hugged me into his arms. My heart beat faster, and I couldn't help but smile a shy, sweet smile on my face. I leaned my head on his shoulder and took a deep breath, the youthful aura of Xiao Ming made me feel like I had returned to 20 years ago, when I was a girl who was loved.
"Auntie, with me, you don't have to be scared or cold. Xiao Ming said to me gently. "Thank you, Xiao Ming. With you, I feel so much younger. I said with a smile.
That day, Xiao Ming came to my house. My hands trembled slightly as I poured him a glass of water, and my heart beat faster.
"Auntie, I really like you. Xiao Ming said suddenly.
I looked at him in amazement, and saw a sincere light in his eyes.
"Please give me a chance to pursue you, okay?" Before I could finish, he took my hand and said gently, "I will make you happy." ”
My mind went blank for a moment. The boy in front of me, who is 25 years younger than me, is pursuing me with a serious face. I knew it wasn't appropriate, but the moment I looked into his eyes, I couldn't stop the secret excitement in my heart.
"Good. "Eventually, I nodded my head from the gods.
When Xiao Ming's body covered me, I almost cried. Twenty years of repression and dryness were liberated at this moment. I hugged Xiao Ming hard, as if to blend in with his young body.
"Auntie, I feel extremely happy to be with you. Afterwards, Xiao Ming propped up his body and muttered in my ear.
I also hugged him hard: "Me too, you made me feel like I was young." ”
And so our relationship began. Xiao Ming would come to my house often, and we would cook together, watch movies, and then enjoy each other's bodies in the room. The time I spent with Xiao Ming was the happiest time I have had in years. I felt like I had gone back 20 years and become a beloved girl again.
But just as our relationship grew closer, my husband found out about it.
Xiao Ming and I had just been entangled that day, lying naked on the bed. At this moment, Lin Jianguo came back to get the briefcase, and his cold eyes made me sober up instantly.
"Lin Xiujuan, you explain it to me clearly!" Lin Jianguo's face turned pale, "You actually fornicated with other men in our bed!
I knelt on the ground and tears welled up in my eyes: "I'm sorry, I'm really sorry! I know it's wrong, I shouldn't have betrayed you!"
Xiao Ming silently put on his clothes and lowered his head.
After saying that, he walked away without looking back.
It took two days for me to calm down. I reflected on what I had done and understood that Xiao Ming had given me a momentary sense of happiness, but it was not worth the twenty years of marriage I had gambled on. I decided to go to Lin Jianguo, formally apologize to him and ask him to give us a chance to redeem ourselves.
"Jianguo, I really know it's wrong. At that time, I was so selfish and only cared about my own happiness that I forgot about your efforts over the years. I really regret it and beg you to give me a chance to make amends. I knelt in front of Lin Jianguo and pleaded with tears streaming down my face.
Lin Jianguo was silent for a long time before he said softly: "I forgive you." However, you have to promise me to never have any contact with that little boy. ”
"I promise!" I wiped away my tears and squeezed his hand, "Thank you for giving me this opportunity, I will definitely be a qualified wife again, and I will never let down your hard work again!"
Lin Jianguo finally loosened his cold face, and he patted me lightly on the shoulder, symbolizing that we were starting again. I know that there is still a long way to go to save my marriage, and I will spend the rest of my life repairing this home. But this time, I was confident. After that incident, my relationship with Lin Jianguo was finally slowly rebuilt. Although Lin Jianguo forgave me, I knew that the wounds in his heart could not be easily healed. I reflect on my mistakes every day and learn to cherish my hard-won marriage even more.
I began to take the initiative to take care of Lin Jianguo's daily life, making sure that he had a hot breakfast before going out, and that there was always a warm meal waiting for him when he came back from work. Lin Jianguo can sit on the sofa after a tiring day, and I will gently massage his shoulders, legs and feet. We also began to go out for walks and outings on a regular basis, feeling each other's company in the sun and nature.
Lin Jianguo seemed to be in a better mood. One night, we suddenly talked about the past when we were younger, and we couldn't help but laugh out loud. At that moment, I saw the renewed love in Lin Jianguo's eyes, and tears couldn't help but burst out of my eyes.
"Thank you for your willingness to forgive me. I wiped away my tears, "I will always remember the lesson and never fail to live up to your love for me again." ”
Lin Jianguo smiled and clenched my hand: "Let it pass." Looking ahead, we have a long future ahead of us. ”
I nodded, my heart filled with gratitude.
In this way, in the slow but persistent efforts, the relationship between me and Lin Jianguo gradually got back on track. We learn to give again, to listen again, to love again. There are no more secret barriers in life, but endless trust and warmth.
I also regained my duty and joy as a wife and mother. I began to take the initiative to participate in the children's education, accompany them to do their homework, and listen to their interesting stories in school. I regained my energy to do housework, tried to learn Xi new dishes, and changed ways to enrich my family's table.
I finally found the meaning of life again, which is to be a good wife and mother. After that derailment turmoil, I no longer yearn for the ethereal "love", but learned to truly cherish the grass and trees in front of me. I am grateful that life has given me a chance to repent and be reborn and to re-protect this warm home. Time flies, and another ten years have passed in a blink of an eye. In the past ten years, Lin Jianguo and I have been close to each other, and our relationship has become stronger and stronger.
As the children grow up, they leave home to go to university and work in different cities. The empty nest period is difficult for many middle-aged couples, but Lin Jianguo and I have survived this difficult time very well.
With more alone time, we would travel together and go to many places at home and abroad. Lin Jianguo also learned various methods on the Internet, and constantly prepared surprises for me. He would suddenly pluck a roadside wildflower and offer it to me while traveling, or fill his hotel room with candles and petals. I've also learned to be proactive, making a big cake to surprise him on his birthday, or sneaking a note in his bag that says "I love you" while he's not looking.
Even after middle age, when we look into each other's eyes, I can still feel the surging excitement of youth. Love can be distilled so mellow and sweet over time. I am always grateful that God has given us the opportunity to be together again.
In addition to traveling, we have also been involved in many charitable causes. We would visit the poor children in the orphanage regularly, bringing them candy, toys and love. Sometimes when I see their innocent smiling faces, I can't help but think of my own children, and my heart is full of love.
We have also joined a number of environmental volunteer organizations and are actively involved in environmental protection actions. Whether it's cleaning up rivers, planting trees or promoting environmental protection, we do our part to do our part. Lin Jianguo said with a smile, maybe when doing these things, our hearts are the closest time. I nodded happily and squeezed his hand firmly.
Now we are getting old, with gray hair, wrinkled faces, and not as good as we used to be. But the happiness and joy in my heart have never diminished with age. I often take the initiative to hug Lin Jianguo, thanking him for his tolerance and re-acceptance, which allowed me to spend so many good times by his side.
I no longer yearn for those ethereal love and happiness. It was right in front of my eyes, in this warm home, above this silver-and-white head. The past is gone, and I only hope that I can still walk hand in hand with Lin Jianguo for the rest of my life and be with me until the last moment of my life. It's another year when the Spring Festival arrives, and the children are all going home for reunion. Looking at the family members sitting around laughing, my heart was overflowing with happiness.
"Mom, I have good news for you. The eldest son, Lin Wei, suddenly said, "My marriage proposal was successful! This is my girlfriend Luo Xiaoxiao." ”
The beautiful girl on the side stood up and smiled shyly: "Hello uncle and aunt." ”
"Oh my God, that's great!" I hugged the two of them excitedly, and tears could not help but come out of my eyes.
Lin Jianguo also stood up with a smile, and pulled Lin Wei over with a big hug: "Good son, Mom and Dad are happy for you!"
The whole house was bustling with activity. I looked at the happy smile on Lin Wei's face, and my heart was full of comfort. As a mother, it is the greatest relief in my life to see that my child is well.
And just like that, another two years passed. Lin Wei and Luo Xiaoxiao's wedding finally took place on a sunny weekend.
I stood in the audience and watched as my tall and handsome son and beautiful bride exchanged rings in front of the officiant and made a sacred vow. Suddenly, I seemed to see my younger self and Lin Jianguo in the past. Scenes of the past emerge in front of me, bits and pieces of more than 20 years, and the years that Lin Jianguo and I have walked hand in hand, are all gathered at this moment.
"Thank you for not giving up on me. I said softly to Lin Jianguo beside me.
He gently squeezed my hand and kissed me lightly on my forehead: "Silly girl, I love you forever." ”
With tears in my eyes, I saw my son greet the bride and walk towards us. He hugged me, his eyes showing endless love and gratitude for his mother: "Mom, thank you for giving me such a good home." ”
I nodded silently, and my heart was filled with unprecedented emotion and joy.
In the second half of our lives, Lin Jianguo and I enjoyed a rare comfort. We two old men are like a pair of golden boys and girls, still inseparable.
Every morning, we will walk hand in hand in the community to feel the warmth of the rising sun. Lin Jianguo is still so considerate, often taking care of me if I feel tired or hungry, and then taking out a carefully prepared snack from my pocket to replenish my strength. I've also learned to be more proactive, letting him rest on my lap on the bench and gently caress his gray sideburns.
In the evening, we would plant flowers, write, and play chess in the courtyard, and enjoy the quiet time of the sunset together. Lin Jianguo occasionally pulls me to jump in the courtyard, I laugh at his Alzheimer's disease, but I also dance with him with childlike innocence. When he was tired of jumping, he helped him back to the room, made a pot of fragrant tea, and kept it warm in the study again until late at night.
He always said that I was the woman he loved most in his life, and I also told him that I would never leave him for the rest of my life. We have gone through ups and downs, experienced joys and sorrows, and achieved endless tenderness and sweetness in this life. I am grateful that all the bits and pieces of life are the most beautiful arrangements from God.
I don't have time to look back. For the rest of my life, I only want to be inseparable from you. On the night of the full moon of another year, Lin Jianguo and I sat in the courtyard, looking up at the starry sky.
"The moonlight is so beautiful this year. Lin Jianguo sighed.
I squinted my eyes, as if I saw him a few decades ago, who looked like a young scholar, standing under the moonlight and making a wish to me that the sea was dry and rotten.
"yes, it's so beautiful that my heart is broken. I whispered, squeezing his old, warm hand.
"Xiujuan, you are the most beautiful scenery in my life. Lin Jianguo looked into my eyes, "It's my greatest luck to meet you." ”
"Me too. I looked back at him reverently, "I'm glad you gave me a chance to start over after that mistake in the first place." Without you, there is nothing we have now. ”
Lin Jianguo smiled slightly, and gently rubbed the back of my wrinkled hand with his thumb: "Fate has given us a test, and we have not failed after all." Isn't it?"
I nodded, tears welling up in the corners of my eyes. I think of the bits and pieces of our journey, through the wind and sun, through the ups and downs, once falling into the trough, and then regaining hope. The passion of youth fades and is replaced by a deep and lingering affection. I am grateful for every beautiful moment in my life because it makes it a perfect moment.
"I will still love you in the next life, and hold your hand and not let go. Lin Jianguo looked at me and said, "I will scene the delicate beauty of your silver hair and rub away all the ripples in the corners of your eyes." ”
We hugged each other, and let the poignant moonlight cover the dying love. The white head will never leave, and I will be by your side.
"Xiujuan, I'm sorry I haven't been able to take good care of you all these years. "He once spoke suddenly in the dead of night, his voice low and difficult.
I hurriedly squeezed his old hand: "What stupid thing are you talking about, I should thank you for so many years of care." ”
By the end of the day, I couldn't stop crying. Lin Jianguo raised his hand weakly and wiped the tears from my cheeks: "Silly girl, I am always grateful to have such a confidant as you in my life." Now, let me be with you. ”
I clenched his hand and wept silently.
From summer to autumn, Lin Jianguo's condition has been good and bad, but in general, it is worse day by day. The children took turns to visit and told me to take care of my body. I knew that half of my soul was already dying, but I was determined to stay by his side and accompany him on his last journey.
Early one morning, Lin Jianguo suddenly said his last words to me.
"Xiujuan, promise me that you must live happily after I leave. He looked at me weakly and earnestly, "Don't live in grief all day. ”
I nodded in tears.
"I will love you again in the next life. He repeated the oath.
I leaned down and kissed him deeply on the forehead.
"You're gone, I'll live happily. I smiled at the black-and-white photo on the stele, "In the next life, I will still hold your hand and not let go." ”