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My name is Li Qing, I am 62 years old, and I have been retired at home for two years. I remember when I first retired, I always felt that I was idle, and when I was worried about having nothing to do, I met an uncle who looked about my age in the community park. He introduced himself and said that his name was Zhou Kai, and the two of us quickly chatted.
He asked me enthusiastically, "Auntie has just retired, isn't it lonely to live alone?"
I smiled and said, "It's okay, just get used to Xi." Idle is also idle, looking for something to pass the time. ”
He immediately said, "That's right! I'm also retiring not long ago, if my aunt wants, I can take you out for a walk, there's a new park here, and the scenery is very good!"
As soon as I heard that someone could accompany me, my heart suddenly became interested, and I immediately said, "Okay, I just want to go out for a walk!"
In this way, Zhou Kai and I began to date frequently. We would go for a walk in the park, go grocery shopping, go to the supermarket, and talk to each other. Zhou Kai has a very enthusiastic personality and speaks humorously, and I never get bored with him.
A month after dating, Zhou Kai suddenly said: "Qingqing, we are both old people who live alone, why don't we consider living together? ”
I immediately agreed, without thinking much about it. At that time, I had been single for many years, and I wanted to find someone to be a companion, and Zhou Kai's proposal was exactly what I wanted.
Gradually, I found that Zhou Kai's desire to control was too strong. He asked to know where I went, who I saw, what I did, and I couldn't go anywhere, except for grocery shopping or the occasional trip to the park, and I was stuck at home almost every day.
Once, I made an appointment with my neighbor, Aunt Li, to go shopping at the mall. As soon as I walked to the gate of the community, Zhou Kai's phone called: "Where are you going again? Don't forget that dinner hasn't been cooked yet!"
I couldn't help but retort, "I'm just going out for a walk, not going to the market! ”
Zhou Kai immediately asked loudly: "Do you dare to talk back? If you are asked to stay at home, you will stay at home honestly! Who let you run around?"
I was so angry that I couldn't speak, so I had to go home in disgrace. Since that time, I've been out less and less often, and I've basically become a prisoner in his house.
After more than a year, I couldn't take it anymore and decided to move out and live on my own. I made my decision clear to Zhou Kai face to face, but I didn't expect him to start beating me without saying a word. I rolled and crawled to escape from his clutches, and my heart palpitated.
Since then, I have developed a great distrust of men. I lived alone for a few months and felt more and more lonely. That's when I met Mr. Zhang at the gym.
Mr. Zhang is courteous and elegant. I am grateful for his enthusiastic guidance on how to use the equipment properly. Gradually, we went from being fitness buddies to being confidants in life.
One day, Mr. Zhang invited me to his house. I was touched by his cosy little apartment and the well-prepared meals. At that moment, I suddenly wanted a home.
Just as I got up to say goodbye, Mr. Zhang grabbed my hand and asked with a serious expression, "Qingqing, are you willing to consider living with me?"
I hesitated. The last failed relationship made me dare not believe it easily.
Mr. Zhang said gently, "I know you're still scared. However, feelings require courage to try. Would you like to give us a chance?"
I was touched by the sincere anticipation in his eyes. Eventually, I mustered up the courage to try living with him. In the first days, Mr. Zhang was very kind to me, gentle and considerate, and we had a very sweet life. However, after three months of living together, Mr. Zhang suddenly began to return late, returning home late at night several days a week. I didn't suspect him at first, until one morning, he stumbled back drunk and muttered "lost and lost".
I couldn't help but ask him, "Where did you get drunk? Don't tell me you went gambling!"
I lived alone for a while, and I had little to do other than go to work. One day, I went for a walk in the park as usual and came across an elegant man dressed in formal clothes. He introduced himself as George Bernard Lee and was a business executive who had recently moved to Hong Kong.
The two of us quickly became acquainted. George Bernard Lee was personable, generous, listened carefully when chatting with me, and was respectful of my ideas. Gradually, he would meet me in the park after work, and we became more and more compatible.
One day, George Bernard Lee invited me to dinner at his house. Fancy tables, delicious food, and good music, everything is so beautiful. When he asked me if I was thinking of living with him, I couldn't resist the urge and agreed.
The first days were so sweet that they were like dreams. George Bernard Lee was attentive to all my needs, and from time to time he would give me surprise gifts or invite me to a candlelit dinner. I felt like a princess, pampered by him.
I didn't expect the good times to last long. Just three months after living together, one day, a woman appeared at our door with a 10-year-old boy. Before I could react, the woman was already excitedly throwing herself into Bernard Lee's arms, and the boy was shouting happily, "Daddy!"
It turned out that Bernard Lee had been married a long time ago, and his wife and son had been living abroad. He took advantage of the separation of the two places to hide it all from me.
I stood aside and watched the happiness on the faces of the family of three. My sky collapsed and was replaced by endless despair. It turned out that I was nothing more than a passer-by in George Bernard Lee's life, a substitute who could be deceived at will. The three failed cohabitation relationships made me gradually see the true colors of those men. They are gentle on the surface, but selfish and hypocritical behind the scenes; They keep saying sweet words, but in fact they have ulterior motives. I was so eager to be loved and understood that I would easily believe their lies and step into the same pit over and over again.
After all this, I decided not to trust any man for a while. I lived alone for more than a year and adapted to living alone. Occasionally I feel sad because I'm lonely, but most of the time, I've learned to be happy alone.
One day, I got acquainted with Aunt Zhang, who lived on the other side of the street. She was about my age and a retired old lady. The two of us often chatted with each other, and gradually got acquainted and became good friends.
I confided in Aunt Zhang about my experience, and she listened quietly, and then said gently: "We have lived for most of our lives and experienced many hardships, so we should cherish the present." No, the most important thing is to find a close friend, someone to share the joys and sorrows with you, then life is full enough. ”
I was deeply moved by her words. I realized that in fact, the most important thing in life is not your lover, but those confidants and friends who understand you and support you. With their company, I won't be alone.
Aunt Zhang and I would go out shopping or watch movies together on a regular basis. We tell each other about our worries and come up with ways to solve them. With her by her side, my life has been much richer.
I'm 67 years old now, and I've been retired for five years. In these five years, I have learned to love myself and enjoy being alone; I have close friends, and my life is no longer lonely. I will continue to live my life as I am and go through the years with my friends. Maybe one day, I will meet love again, but it is no longer the whole meaning of my life. I found a way to make myself happy, and that's enough. I decided to write a new ending.
After three failed cohabitation relationships, I chose to live alone for the time being and focus on my life. I no longer believe in easy romantic words, I learned to think independently Xi build inner self-confidence.
One day, I attended a painting class held by the community. In the class, I met Mr. Lin, who is our painting instructor.
Mr. Lin is tall, with gray hair and wrinkles at the corners of his eyes when he laughs. He has a unique style of painting and often adds various fashionable elements, which makes my eyes shine.
"Teacher Lin, your drawings are so beautiful! I especially like this girl with graffiti style. "I couldn't help but admire.
Teacher Lin smiled shyly: "Thank you for the compliment! I also appreciate Qingqing's bold use of color." ”
After class, Ms. Lin will patiently answer our questions and guide us on how to draw better. I found him to be elegant and complex inside, like an unfathomable ancient well.
One day, the community organized us to go sketching in the beautiful mountains. I was standing alone in front of the cliff sketching, and Mr. Lin came behind me at some point.
"It's a beautiful place!" He said with emotion. On a whim, he suggested that we go to the other side of the mountain together to watch the sunset.
On the way back to the city, Mr. Lin suddenly said, "Qingqing, are you willing to consider staying with me for a long time?"
Teacher Lin said gently, "I don't care about the past, I like you now." Let's spend the rest of our lives together and fill the canvas of life with beautiful pictures. ”
This time, I believed the man's vows. With Mr. Lin, I have found the other half of my life, and we will paint a legend with art. After I was with Mr. Lin, my life became colorful.
We regularly sketch in the park in search of interesting materials. Mr. Lin can always find some small details that I didn't notice, such as a dragonfly perched on a flower petal and a puppy chasing a tail. He taught me to find beauty in reality, and this is the most precious gift I have received from him.
Every year, the community will hold an exhibition, and Mr. Lin and I will carefully select a few works for the exhibition. Last year, we won awards for our work, and we were so happy that we had a few drinks together before we left.
I smiled shyly: "Okay, we can show a 'The Eyes of Old Husbands and Wives' topic." ”
Many people in our circle of friends have been touched by our stories. No one will believe that we have also taken detours, experienced pain, like two lost fish, looking for a habitat of our own in the sea of life.
And now, we finally meet under the sky of painting. Teacher Lin and I will grow old hand in hand and fill our time with spiritual communication.
Life will inevitably have ups and downs, but as long as there is still beauty in your heart, you will have the courage to continue the romantic pursuit. I am glad that at a time when all hope was withering, God gave me another miracle.