In the ocean of love and marriage, communication is an indispensable river, which not only nourishes the hearts of both parties, but also may inadvertently touch the hidden reef and stir up waves.
However, not all topics are suitable for discussion between couples or couples, and some issues are like undercurrents under the abyss, which have hidden power beneath the surface of emotions and can cause irreversible damage if released.
Here are the three golden rules of taboo, once you take a step beyond the thunder pool, you may lose.
The first taboo: "Am I your favorite?"
This question seems simple, but in fact it is a hidden mystery.
There is a temple in every human heart that enshrines the most ardent feelings and the deepest memories of what has ever been.
And when you ask such a question, you are invisibly forcing the other person to choose between you and the past.
You're not really looking for answers, you're looking for security.
However, the sense of security is never obtained through comparison, it comes from the trust and understanding that has accumulated between the two people.
Behind this problem, there is a hidden distrust and insecurity towards men.
Every time you ask, you are actually hurting the relationship with each other invisibly.
Love is not an arena, you and I are not opponents, and there is no need to compare high and low.
Men are also ordinary people, their pasts are equally rich and colorful, and true self-confidence is to accept each other's all, not to get to the bottom of it.
On the contrary, if you can care about the other person's current thoughts and future plans, this is the true meaning of deep love and mutual trust.
Second taboo: "Are you willing to give up everything for me?"
The danger of this problem lies in its absoluteness.
Love is important, but everyone has their own circle of life and values.
When you ask the other person to make all the sacrifices for love, you are actually challenging his personal boundaries.
This absolute problem is a kind of control, a kind of disregard for individual freedom, and behind the short-term enthusiasm is a long period of depression and pain.
In a healthy relationship, love is not a contest of sacrificing everything for each other, but growing together to respect and support each other's dreams and pursuits.
Asking a man if he is willing to give up everything is actually putting your relationship in a position of extreme inequality.
You should encourage him to pursue his interests and development, and celebrate his achievements with him, because his success is also your common joy.
The third taboo: "Why don't you look like ...... So?"
Comparison is one of the most taboo words in the emotional world.
Comparing your partner to someone else will not only hurt his self-esteem, but it will also build a seemingly insurmountable wall between you.
Everyone is unique, they have their own traits and strengths, as well as unspeakable shortcomings and shortcomings.
Trying to provoke change in the other person through comparison is not only a misunderstanding, but also a disrespect.
Don't think that you can subtly change each other by showing weakness or borrowing other people's halos, love is not a transformation project.
If you really want to change something, the best way to do so is to communicate positively and inspire each other.
Discuss solutions to problems and bring out potential, rather than pouring cold water on them, so that you can find common ground in the midst of change and deepen your mutual understanding and trust.
A happy relationship is built on sincere communication and mutual respect on both parties.
And to sustain such relationships, we need to avoid issues that can lead to conflict and misunderstanding.
Love is not a battle, it does not need a winner, nor is it afraid of a loser.
It is a chorus of two souls, a journey of constant exploration.
As long as we face each other with an open mind and sincerely share our thoughts and feelings, the road to marriage and love will be broader and brighter.
Epilogue:
In the journey of love, let us learn to abandon the mechanism of "question and answer" and replace it with mutual understanding and tolerance.
Find each other's voices in listening, and leave the imprint of love in tacit understanding.
May we all become better versions of ourselves, love, live, and cherish this precious and precious relationship with an inclusive heart.