When I took my wedding vows, I found my boyfriend, who had been dead for two years, sitting in the corner, silently watching me

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When the wedding vows were announced, I found my anti-narcotics police boyfriend, who had been dead for two years, sitting in the corner, silently watching me.

Before reason could react, tears were already flowing.

I was shaking.

The master of ceremonies smiled and said, "It seems that our bride is so moved, she must be very happy to marry her beloved." Everyone applauded her!"

Friends and family applauded.

He bowed his head and smiled, poured his wine, and raised his glass to me, and drank it all.

I intermittently recited the oath: "In this life, I will be loyal to you, no matter life or death, no matter ......"

I can't go on.

That was supposed to be read to him.

The groom gently wiped the tears from my face and bowed his head to kiss me.

In the corner of his eye, there was no one in that corner.

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1

When I met Song Shen, I was still in college.

I had my phone stolen from the subway exit, and I chased me all the way in my high heels.

Song Shen rubbed my shoulder and chased me out, and in less than a minute, I returned to the same place.

Even the thief with his mobile phone was escorted back.

Later he asked me when I liked him.

I was embarrassed to tell him that I had fallen in love at first sight when he handed me back the phone with a cold face on that rainy evening.

In the police station, the police are happy.

"Sanjin Palace, you!" poked the thief with one finger, "Don't look at what place it is, you dare to steal at the gate of the police academy?"

He turned to look at him again: "Song Shen, you can do it, help the child find his family, catch the voyeur, and now catch the thief...... You can come directly to our police station after you graduate. ”

He couldn't help but smile.

I found out that his name was Song Shen and he was a police academy student.

I held the lost phone, thanked me constantly, and finally hesitated to ask, "Do you want to send a pennant to the police station?"

The police were happy.

"Girl, send us, if you want to send it, just send this kid. ”

Song Shen didn't have any expression on his face, and only asked me, "Can you still go?"

That's when I noticed that my ankle was swollen and swollen.

The police brought a medical kit, took out Yunnan Baiyao, and was about to spray me.

A large group of people rushed in at the door, shouting, "You have to be the master of me!"

Crying and shouting, beating and scolding, pulling hair, it's not lively.

The policeman muttered, stuffed the medicine bottle to Song Shen, and went to mediate.

Song Shen paused for two seconds, squatted down, held my ankles, and squirted.

His fingers are so slender that there is a thin layer of calluses on the tips of his fingers, and when he rubs against my skin, it looks like it will catch fire.

He glanced at me, "So hot?"

I covered my face silently, blushing a little.

2

I limped out with Song Shen.

He turned left, and I turned left.

He went straight, and I went straight.

His sneakers walked silently, and my heels snapped.

He turned around, and I stood still.

He looked at my ankles, frowned, and asked me, "Where are you going?"

I said, "I'll make you a pennant." ”

He suddenly smiled, and the street lights shone brightly in his dark eyes.

Song Shen stopped a taxi and stuffed me in: "Master, send her to the gate of School X." ”

He's so smart.

That exit of the subway only leads to two schools, one for mine and one for his.

The driver stepped on the accelerator and the car started.

I climbed out of the window and shouted, "Can you give me a contact information?"

He stood there with his back to me and waved.

On the empty street, the street lamp stretched his figure so long.

I suddenly thought of that poem.

千山我独行,不必相送。

3

The school arranges social activities with the Police Academy.

I took out the momentum of the final exam and wrote my personal profile in a straight and bright way.

Pick me, choose me, choose me.

And then I was chosen.

I quickly swept around the little brother sitting across from me.

All of them are very heroic, but unfortunately, there is no Song Shen in them.

I wilted, and they asked me to dance, and I declined.

Don't want to move.

Life suddenly lost hope.

In the middle of the dance floor, the boys put their arms around the girls' waists and danced.

I sighed as I stared at the hem of my chosen dress.

"It's not that Mom won't let you go on stage, Dad is not here, what can Mom do?"

I heard someone shouting at the door: "Song Shen, I thought you weren't coming." ”

We stood up.

I saw Song Shen talking to someone.

"There's still time after training, come and sign in. ”

The man smiled: "You kid, Lao Li wants you to come and support the table, so you go through the motions." ”

Song Shen smiled and bent down to sign.

He was wearing a black sweater with a soft texture.

The dance floor light shone obliquely, and the lines of his side face flowed into the invisible collar of his sweater like a smooth stroke of ink.

He finished signing and said hello: "I'm leaving." ”

It's time to get out.

I was a little nervous and called out to him.

"宋慎。"

He looked back in surprise.

I stubbornly said, "Can I ask you to do a dance?"

4

His friend was already shouting "yo yo yo".

Song Shen punched him and regained his composure.

He walked over and hesitantly called out my name: "Ji Xiaoxiao?"

Ah, I wrote my name when I registered at the police station that day.

I didn't expect him to have such a good memory.

I hurriedly nodded, "Yes." ”

His gaze fell on my skirt.

The princess dress adorned with lace petals seemed to be on fire.

I suddenly squirmed a little and explained, "I'm here to join the party, I, I haven't danced today, can I ......?"

I don't know why my heart is weak.

He paused for a moment and said, "I can't dance." ”

The heart sank.

I said dryly, "Okay, okay." ”

His classmates gave me a sympathetic look.

I forced a smile at him.

Then he turned around and walked back to my place step by step.

Don't cry, Ji Xiaoxiao, it's just that you've been rejected.

Song Shen's voice suddenly came from behind him: "But, if you want, I can invite you to coffee." ”

5

When I was holding a hot latte, I was still in a dream.

But the corners of my mouth are so high that I can't suppress it.

Song Shen asked, "Are your feet better?"

I hurriedly said, "It's much better, I can already jump around." ”

He said "um" and stopped talking.

It's cold again.

He held the iced Americano, and his eyes fell on the window of the café, as if thinking about something.

The lights in the café weren't on, so I stole a glance at him.

His eyes were caught by him.

Song Shen laughed: "Do you know that glass can reflect light?"

I made excuses: "I'm looking at your school tree, it's so special." ”

He said, "Is it pretty?"

I didn't understand: "What did you say?"

He takes a sip of coffee, his Adam's apple rolls up and down, and he is sexy.

Then he put down the coffee cup and smiled: "Me, is it good-looking?"

His face was so red that he was about to explode.

I was so stumbling that I couldn't speak for a long time.

He paid the bill and took me out.

The dance party in the exchange hall was coming to an end, and people were coming out here and there.

Song Shen asked me, "Do you want to send you back?" or do you all go back?"

I was a little disappointed: "The school arranged to go together and call names." ”

He let out an "um" and glanced at my shoes.

Pure white, dreamy princess stiletto heels.

"It's easy to twist your feet in high heels. He said.

I shrunk my feet and tried to cover my shoes with the hem of my skirt.

He glanced at his watch and said, "I'll go first." ”

I don't know why, but I have the feeling that he won't look back once he's gone.

The voice was faster than my head, and I called out to him: "Song Shen." ”

He turned.

Eyebrows raised slightly, waiting for me to speak.

I was about to twist my skirt, choking and choking: "I have to bring back a development partner from the sorority, can you help?"

He didn't speak, just looked at me scrutinically.

I tilted my head, awkwardly avoiding his gaze.

I think my lies are so clumsy, he is so clever that he must be able to see through them at a glance.

After being silent for a long time, the driver shouted: "You can get on the bus!"

The sparse crowd slowly converged.

I said, "It's okay if you don't want to, thank you for the coffee, I'll ...... first"

As if he had made a decision, he walked over and interrupted me: "Phone." ”

I was speechless for a moment, so I obediently unlocked my phone and handed it to him.

He opens the address book and enters a string of numbers.

"My cell phone number," he said, and then after a moment of hesitation, he finally added it, "Call me when you need to." ”

I sat by the window, pulled the window open, and waved vigorously.

"再见,宋慎!"

He stood under the street lamp, and his friends around him laughed and joked about him.

He curled his lips and waved at me.

宋慎,宋慎。

At that time, I was full of sweet hope, and I could never have imagined that one day, I would sit in the same car seat and cry to tears.

5

I was holding my phone, I couldn't sleep at one o'clock, and I twisted into maggots in bed.

Zhou Xuan crawled over the fence, rubbed my cheeks, and lowered her voice: "Miss, didn't you just get his mobile phone number, are you like this?

I grinned, "I can't." Do you know how handsome he is?"

Zhou Xuan hated that iron could not become steel: "I really convinced you." ”

I fell asleep late that night.

The dream is all his mobile phone number.

Wake up in the morning with huge dark circles.

Zhou Xuan laughed at me: "I dreamed of my lover, I thought he would call him." ”

Just kidding, he's so busy, how could I bother him.

When I was in a public class, I couldn't help it, I tuned my phone to the address book, and looked at his mobile phone number in a daze.

宋慎,宋慎。

I didn't pay attention, and I actually pressed the call button.

I hurriedly pressed and hung up.

But the phone has already been answered.

"喂?"

Startled, I bent over and rushed out the back door of the classroom.

Zhou Xuan scolded me in a low voice: "Ji Xiaoxiao, are you crazy?

I think I'm really crazy.

Fortunately, he didn't hang up and the call continued.

I shuddered and put my phone close to my ear: "Hey, are you still there?"

Song Shen let out a "hmm" and asked, "Ji Xiaoxiao?"

I thought, "Hmm. ”

He quickly asked, "Is there anything wrong?"

I'm tangled and tangled.

Actually, it's nothing, it's just that I touched my phone by mistake, do you believe it?

My silence gave him something else.

He asked, "You can't speak, you're in danger, where are you?"

I exhaled softly and said, "I'm safe, I just kept staring at your phone number during class, accidentally touched it, and typed out." ”

When he finally spoke, his face was a little hot, but fortunately he couldn't see it.

“……”

There was silence on the other side of the phone for a while, as if pondering the meaning of my words.

Finally, I couldn't help it and apologized: "I'm sorry to disturb you......"

Interrupted by him.

In the slightly noisy ambient sound, his voice was very soft, but I could hear it clearly.

"It may be that I am amorous, but I think there are some things I have to explain in advance," Song Shen said, "If nothing else, I will not fall in love in my life, nor will I marry a wife and have children." ”

The bell rings for the end of class.

Only his soft breathing could be heard on the phone.

I clutched my phone and stammered, "Okay, okay, excuse me." ”

"It doesn't matter. He said.

The phone hangs up.

I stood still, motionless, until my leg went numb, and then I returned to the classroom in despair.

6

Zhou Xuan asked me to delete Song Shen's phone.

I said no.

I'm not going to call him again, but I don't want to delete it either.

She rubbed the top of my hair angrily, sighed and sighed: "Miss, why do you have to hang yourself from his tree?

I lay on the table and wanted to cry again: "You have to give me a little time to slow down." ”

She buttoned down my phone and pulled me up: "I'm going to drink tonight and introduce you to a few handsome guys, don't you like to be handsome?"

I said, "No, I'm a bad drinker." ”

Zhou Xuan glared: "You dare not go?"

I don't dare.

Zhou Xuan is for my good, I know.

It's autumn, and the outside temperature is already very low.

Zhou Xuan looked at my sweater, jeans and sneakers, and asked me, "Are you going to square dance?"

I couldn't help but laugh: "No, I'm going to the bar." ”

She shouted, "If you go to the bar, you have to go to the bar! You open my closet, go pick out the clothes, hurry!"

As it turned out, even with her sundress and fur, I was still the dumbest one on the field.

They jumped and drank together, and I only bowed my head and ate the fruit plate.

The skirt is so short...... Although there is heating, will it be cold legs?

Thinking about it like this, Zhou Xuan came back and handed me a glass of wine.

I hesitated to take it.

She laughed angrily: "What kind of eyes do you have? I'm going to poison you? The lowest alcohol is gone, aren't you thirsty when you sit there all night?"

I whispered, "I want to drink mineral water." ”

She shouted: "This is a bar! Don't sell mineral water! You can drink it at ease, you won't get drunk!"

Zhou Xuan shook her hair and went on again.

I struggled to take a sip of wine.

Hey, it's pretty delicious.

I don't know how long it took, but I was already drowsy.

I have been suffering from insomnia two days ago because of Song Shen's words, and in such a noisy environment, I was actually sleepy.

Zhou Xuan sat beside me with her butt and grabbed my shoulder: "Beautiful woman, wake up." ”

I opened my eyes and pushed her away, "You're so drunk. ”

She smiled dumbly: "Miss, is your alcohol stronger than mine?"

She picked up the cup and looked at it: "Long Island Iced Tea, you actually drank it all." ”

I muttered, "It's hot here, I'm thirsty." ”

Zhou Xuan laughed and helped me up: "Can you still walk in a straight line?"

I frowned at her, "Of course." ”

After not taking a few steps, he fell on the sofa.

The feet are all fluttering, as if stepping on clouds.

Zhou Xuan smiled and fished me up: "You stupid, you're really drunk." ”

I hugged her: "I'm dizzy and uncomfortable. ”

She smiled: "Stupid, it's not uncomfortable to be drunk, it's good to be drunk, forget Song Shen, don't think about it again." ”

7

I asked Zhou Xuan if she wanted to take a taxi.

She said: "Stupid, it's only 200 meters from the school, and a fool only takes a taxi, are you a fool?"

I said, "I'm not, you are." ”

She helped me out, and I frowned: "My stomach hurts." ”

She pointed to the trash can: "You go there and vomit, don't vomit on me." ”

I try to keep my balance and not touch the trash can.

Zhou Xuan was still laughing at me: "Are you learning ostriches? Ostrich is not like this, be careful not to fall into it." ”

I didn't reply, I tried hard to throw it up.

There was a bang behind him, and then Zhou Xuan screamed.

I wiped my mouth casually, and turned around to tease her: "You still say that I, you are an ostrich, and you can fall on the ground." ”

The voice broke in his throat.

I rushed up like crazy and crashed into the man who grabbed Zhou Xuan.

"Is there something wrong with you? Who are you, fuck off!"

I didn't push him, but he pushed him to the ground, and the bag fell to the ground, scattering things.

The fur spreads out, revealing the suspender inside.

He let go of Zhou Xuan and walked over to me.

The heel was too high for me to stand up, so he grabbed my arm and pulled me up.

The other hand rudely pulled off the fur coat.

As soon as the cold wind blew, goosebumps rose.

"It's very righteous, little girl, then it's up to you to replace her. ”

8

Zhou Xuan screamed, picked up my rivet bag, and slammed him like crazy: "You stinky, let go of your dirty hands!"

The man was in pain, let go of me, and grabbed Zhou Xuan's hair: "You try to move another one?"

I hurriedly picked up my phone before I clicked on the dialpad to call the police, and the man turned around and slapped me on the back of his hand.

The phone clattered to the ground.

Then there were a couple of slaps in the face.

Zhou Xuan screamed: "Help!"

We took a shortcut and walked down the alley, and at the moment the bar was full of people outside the bar, and there was a lot of noise.

No one could hear the movement in the alley.

The wine was so strong that I had a terrible headache and my temples were pounding.

The figure in front of him also swayed, as if the astigmatism deepened.

Zhou Xuan was still screaming, as if she was pressed against the wall.

I struggled to get to my feet, fumbled for something, and smashed him the back of the head.

The man was smashed and hurt and grabbed me by the neck.

It looks like it's going to suffocate.

The line of sight was full of stars, one on top of the other.

The man was pulled away suddenly, and someone threw a punch heavily.

The fist was fast and fierce, but in a few seconds, the man was knocked to the ground and didn't get up for half a day.

I slid down the wall, clutching my throat and coughing.

Falling into someone's arms, it's so warm.

Song Shen's face was in front of me, frowning, and he looked worried.

"Are you alright?"

Wine is really a good thing, it can even let me see Song Shen.

I have to drink it in the future, I can't see it in reality, and it's good to see it in hallucinations.

I suddenly wanted to laugh, and it pulled at my throat, and I coughed again, and I wanted to vomit.

I pushed him away, trying to throw up, but I couldn't.

He squatted down and handed me a tissue: "Wipe it." ”

I grabbed his wrist.

In the dim light of the alley, I saw him raise an eyebrow and look questioning.

I said, "Zhou Xuan, what you gave me to drink was actually a hallucinogen, right? The person in the hallucination will also hand me tissues." You say it's not funny, hahahahahaha. ”

Zhou Xuan stood up against the wall, panting and scolding me: "You stupid, right? That's fucking Song Shen!"

9

I reached out and pinched Song Shen's face.

It's hot.

He grabbed his wrist.

He lowered his eyes to me, calmly: "You have great courage." ”

It's the real Song Shen, not a fantasy.

I burst into tears and reached out to hug him tightly.

He froze.

I cried loudly: "Song Shen, I hate you, I'm already going to forget you, why are you here?!"

Song Shen was silent.

Zhou Xuan said coldly on the side: "I took your mobile phone to call the police, but it was knocked out by that dog thing, and it may have been dialed out." Maybe God couldn't stand it, so he called him. ”

I cried so hard that I turned my head and yelled at her, "Shut up!"

Zhou Xuan raised his hand in surrender, and sure enough, he shut up.

Song Shen tried to push me away, and I hugged him tighter.

"I'm not done yet!

Song Shen paused for a few seconds and softened his tone: "It's too cold, you put on your coat, and then say, okay?"

I hiccuped: "Okay, then you are not allowed to leave." ”

He was a little helpless: "I'm not leaving." ”

I let go of him.

After leaving his embrace, I felt that the autumn breeze in Beijing was really cold.

The bones are going to freeze and crisp.

Song Shen turned on the flashlight and quickly found my fur coat.

I don't know what happened, he carried the coat, struggled for a moment, and finally put it back in place.

In the cold wind, I clasped my arms and stared straight at him.

"The clothes are dirty. He said succinctly.

Song Shen strode back, took off his coat as he walked, and then wrapped me in the down jacket.

10

His body temperature.

"Are you still walking?" he frowned, bending over at me.

It was so close that I could see that his eyes were as cold as obsidian.

"You hold me," I cried again, "can you pick me up, my leg hurts, there are ants biting me." ”

Song Shen's gaze fell on my bare calves.

He frowned again.

Zhou Xuan leaned against the wall and scolded me: "You really don't have an IQ when you drink too much, ants are so rare that you bite you, you have been squawing for a long time and your legs are numb!"

I wiped my tears with Song Shen's coat, it was very soft and warm, but it provoked me to tears and couldn't stop.

The tears burned his face again, and the half of his face that had been beaten just now began to hurt.

"I can't walk, Song Shen, I'm in pain. ”

The person in front of me was silent for a moment, didn't say anything, and picked me up.

Walk through dimly lit alleys and through noisy bars.

His arms are so powerful, but the whole person is quiet and cold.

It's so strange, Song Shen.

I looked at him without blinking, and he looked away.

The curvature of the eyelashes falling is like the wings of a butterfly, long and curvy.

My stomach started churning again, and I clutched my stomach and wrapped my mouth around it.

Song Shen noticed: "Want to vomit?"

The voice is very soft, and it sounds a little gentle.

I wiped the tears that welled up in my moment: "I don't want to think about it now." ”

He raised his eyes: "Are you crying again?"

I couldn't help but choke: "I'm so uncomfortable, so uncomfortable." ”

He lowered his eyes to see the red marks on my face, and his eyes darkened: "Go to the hospital to deal with it, it will be fine soon." ”

I shook my head: "No, I feel bad. ”

Song Shen looked at me inquiringly.

The night was haunting, and the alcohol was haunting, and I actually read a little warmth from his gaze.

The soreness in my chest became more and more turbulent, and I grabbed the collar of his sweater and couldn't help crying.

"Song Shen, I just learned to like it, and you said that you will never fall in love in your life. But a lifetime is so long, can you give me a chance? Is it okay, is it okay?"

I looked at him supplicantly.

However, there was no superfluous expression on his face, and he didn't even look at me anymore, his eyes fell on the occasional whizzing car in the street.

The evening breeze is so cold, and there are no stars in sight.

I slowly loosened his clothes.

"Zhou Xuan is right, I was drunk today, I'm sorry. ”

11

When I woke up, I was already on the bed in my dorm room.

The sky was bright.

I glanced at my phone, and it was already eleven o'clock.

When I opened my mouth, I felt a hoarse voice: "Zhou Xuan, are you there?"

Zhou Xuan opened the curtains, poured me a glass of honey water, and handed it over.

"Drink it and rehydrate. ”

My head hurts, it hurts like it's going to crack.

My face and arms also hurt, and the sun shone in through the window, and I saw that my arms were blue and purple.

I hesitated: "Did you beat me up yesterday after I relied on your wine?"

Zhou Xuan crossed her waist angrily: "What was beaten by me, was it that we were beaten by perverts, okay?"

She climbed onto my bed and shook my shoulders hard.

"Miss, don't tell me, you forgot all about last night. ”

I was so dizzy by her shaking that I simply lay down again, staring at the ceiling in a daze.

"Last night, pervert?"

There were fragments pouring in, one moment it was the perverted man reaching out and pulling my coat, and the other moment I was crying in Song Shen's arms.

I covered my face with my hands: "I must be dreaming." ”

Zhou Xuan didn't intend to let me go, took my hand away, faced me, and told in an orderly manner.

"You ...... yesterday"

She said that yesterday Song Shen took us to the hospital by taxi, and I was crying quietly all the way.

The drivers all noticed me and kept watching us in the rearview mirror.

Song Shen had to show the campus card to the driver to prove that he was not a bad person.

When the doctor drugged my knee and arm, I grabbed Song Shen and cried until I gasped.

In the end, Song Shen took the cotton swab and disinfected my broken wound little by little.

The doctor thought it was funny and told Song Shen that his little girlfriend was very squeamish.

Before Song Shen could speak, I was already crying, saying that I was not qualified to be his girlfriend.

By the time he sent us back to school, it was almost four o'clock in the morning.

It is said that I tugged at Song Shen's sleeve and refused to let go.

"You won't come back if you're gone, I know, we'll be completely okay if you're gone, I know. ”

Song Shen was silent, looking down at me, pulled by me.

I looked at him and cried.

In the end, he suddenly let go, choked up, and was very resolute: "You go, it doesn't matter if you're not in love, I can fall in love alone." It doesn't matter, it really doesn't matter. ”

The doorman couldn't help but come out to inspect, Zhou Xuan felt embarrassed and dragged me in.

And I'm still babbling, turning around three times at a time, crying wow.

Song Shen didn't speak, just stared at us until he couldn't see it at all.

12

Zhou Xuan is still imitating vividly: "Is it wrong to like someone? Zhou Xuan, why do you tell me to shut up?

I covered my face with a pillow towel and tried to strangle myself.

Shameless to live, really.

Zhou Xuan uncovered my pillow towel and handed me the phone.

"You muttered yesterday that you don't know who you sent the message to all night, take a look, don't confess to the teachers in a frenzy. ”

I sat up with my phone in my hand.

But I saw that WeChat was empty, only unread messages from an unfamiliar avatar.

He said, "Yes."

?What the heck.

I clicked on the chat dialog and slid up to the top.

In front of them, there are some upside-down words, one moment shouting pain, and the other saying that they are afraid.

The person on the other side was also very patient and cooperative.

The replies were brief, but they let people know that he didn't leave.

Slide down further and start playing scoundrels.

: Do you believe in fate?

: A life is too long, seize the day. We roll the dice, 1-3, I win, 4-6, you win.

: I just want to live day and night, not for the rest of my life, okay?

There was no reply from the other side.

It took almost twenty minutes before there was new information.

His answer was to roll a dice.

Four points.

He won.

The two should never cross paths again.

And I sent out a happy emoji, determined: It's 3, I won.

He never spoke.

It wasn't until eight o'clock this morning, when I was still asleep, that he replied to the message.

He said, "Yes."

Yes, you won.

Yes, we may be able to try and move towards the day together.

13

I'm a drunkard who is a fool and a dazzle.

And he even acquiesced.

I felt a little sour in my eyes.

Zhou Xuan was already so excited that he shouted: "Ji Xiaoxiao, you really have the ability! Are you really drunk?

I shook my head, feeling my heart sore and swollen, unable to say anything.

When I climbed out of bed to wash, I caught a glimpse of a black down jacket on the back of the chair.

Memories of last night have come back a bit.

How did I tremble in Song Shen's arms, how did he take off his down jacket and wrap me.

I grabbed him by the collar and cried, and he really looked down at me, his eyes dark like obsidian.

Can't think about it anymore.

It's best to hide from him for a few days.

Over there, Zhou Xuan picked up the phone: "Hey, police, oh oh okay, we'll go in about half an hour." ”

She slipped up behind me and made eye contact with me in the mirror.

"I forgot to tell you, yesterday Song Shen asked us if we needed to call the police. I thought how I could get the stinky rascals to escape, and I had to call the police. ”

The cleanser covered my eyelids and I scrambled to rinse it off.

I heard Zhou Xuan passionately announce: "So, pack up, let's go to the police station." It's going to be a hooligan, and by the way, I'll be your lover for a while!"

Suddenly, the water choked down his throat.

I coughed until I couldn't breathe.

At first, it was just choking, and then it was like a cough caused by a cold.

Zhou Xuan poured me water, opened the medicine box again, and handed me the capsules.

"Song Shen prepared cold medicine for you. The doctor said you don't have a fever and won't prescribe it to you, he said you will sooner or later. I have to say, he didn't know the prophet, didn't he?"

I pinched the little capsule and was distracted for a moment.

14

It's still the same police station.

I was robbed of my phone, the one who wanted to make a pennant.

Song Shen arrived earlier than us, changed into a gray coat, and changed his sweater into a white one.

It's just a back, and you can still see that you're handsome.

Wearing a hat, a mask, and the most modest clothes, I followed Zhou Xuan the whole time, trying to make myself invisible.

Fortunately, Song Shen didn't say anything to me, just communicated with the police and told me what happened yesterday.

Inevitably, you will still be named by the police.

"Girl in a hat, come, come and see, is this it?"

Song Shen's gaze fell on me.

I walked over with a bite to go.

Coincidentally, the policeman was the one who helped me with my phone before.

Maybe it's because of the proximity to the bar, but the alley is small, but there are surveillances.

The police flipped through the surveillance and pointed at the person in the picture: "Is it him?"

I whispered, "It's him." ”

The policeman chattered: "The nasal voice is so heavy, you have a cold, right? You two have to thank Song Shen, do you know? Without him, you two froze to death there, and no one knows." ”

I had to look up at Song Shen.

He looked at me too.

I was stiff: "Thank you last night. ”

He quickly said, "You're welcome." ”

Polite and distant.

It's like going back to square one.

Under the pretext of getting water to drink, I went out.

The water gurgled and I was holding a paper cup, a little distracted.

A hand reached out next to me and turned off the faucet for me.

"It's going to overflow. He said.

I looked up in a panic and met Song Shen's eyes.

"Why have you been avoiding me today?" he muttered for a few seconds, as if organizing language, "not to say, just seize the day?"

15

With a shake of the hand, the hot water will spill out.

Fortunately, Song Shen reacted quickly and caught it steadily.

Still dripping on the back of my hand, he pulled out a tissue and handed it to me.

I took the tissue, and I couldn't speak.

Song Shen was silent for a moment and said, "I heard that I vomited the truth after drinking, and I also heard that I talked nonsense after drinking. I don't know what kind of you counted yesterday. ”

Those words from yesterday......

I was so embarrassed that my ears were red, and I didn't dare look up at him.

Song Shen observed my expression and thought he had an answer: "I understand, I will take yesterday's words as a joke." ”

He turned to leave.

I looked up and blurted out, "That's not a joke. ”

He paused.

I felt my face burn and my voice trembled a little, but I stubbornly wanted to finish my sentence.

"That's not a joke, that's what I think in my heart, but I don't usually dare to say it. ”

Song Shen looked at me and didn't speak.

It's still very calm, patient, waiting.

I suddenly felt nervous and ashamed.

"Last night, I shouldn't have been like that. I'm sorry, but it was like a coercion to force you to say yes. But you don't have to agree, you just have to listen to your own ......"

Song Shen interrupted me: "I am twenty years old this year. ”

I hesitated, "Well, so ......?"

He smiled: "So, I'm an adult and know exactly what I'm doing. ”

My head seemed to be dizzy, and my voice was floating: "What do you mean......"

Song Shen put his hands in his pockets, a rare, somewhat uncertain look.

"I mean, maybe we can try it out together. It's just that I'm thinking about how I can keep you from getting hurt. ”

The conjecture was confirmed.

I was so excited that I jumped up and grabbed his arm in spite of it.

"I won't get hurt, absolutely not!"

He lowered his eyes to see me jumping and jumping, and with a little smile in his eyes, he reached out and brushed my loose hair.

He seemed to want to say something, but in the end he didn't say anything.

16

I'm in love with Song Shen!

Just thinking about it makes me giggle.

Zhou Xuan was annoyed by my chatter, pressed me on the chair, and stuffed me with cosmetics.

"You put on makeup now, then go to him, and go in love. ”

I was extremely shy: "His school is strictly managed, so I can only go to him at night." ”

Zhou Xuan stood up straight, stuffed the pen to me, and yelled: "Then hurry up and write your homework, DDL today!"

Love and Xi may be possible at the same time.

I think.

Song Shen is very busy, and we often go on dates in the Xi room.

It's said to be dating, but it's not all it, it's just learning and Xi separately.

He was always very serious when he studied, and I was very athereous.

Writing and writing, putting down the pen, putting the iPad, lying on the table, secretly looking at him.

Such a handsome guy!

Such a smart, upright, kind and brave handsome guy!

It's my boyfriend!

Most of the time, he pretends not to see and continues to do his own thing.

Occasionally, he would reach out and put his hand over my eyes, and then with a little force, he would turn my head back.

Every now and then, I take his hand.

He glanced at me, and I smiled and lip synced: I'll help you warm your hands!

He didn't speak, he didn't withdraw his hand, he just spread his fingers and wrapped me completely.

There is the temperature of ironing, from the fingertips to the heart.

His hands are always warmer than mine.

17

Zhou Xuan thinks I like Song Shen a little more.

She taught me: "In a relationship, he must like you more than you like him, so that you will be happy, you know?"

I hesitated: "But...... Even if I like him a lot, I'm very happy, super happy. ”

Zhou Xuan lay down on the bed and wailed: "I didn't save you." ”

I couldn't help but smile.

Song Shen's love is restrained, not as flamboyant as mine.

He doesn't make decisions lightly, but once he decides what to do, he does it with his heart.

He is that kind of person.

Those sweetness that he doesn't show, I just want to hide them one by one, I see it myself, and no one wants to know.

During the rare vacation, he asked me out to play.

The plane turned to the high-speed train and then the bus, and we arrived from the north to the south.

The vehicle passes through the fields, large expanses of unfamiliar plants.

Song Shen said that this is tobacco.

I grew up in the north, and there were a few novelties along the way.

He gave me the window seat, I looked at the scenery, and he looked at me.

The bus to my destination was in the evening and I fell asleep on his shoulder.

When I woke up, I saw a bright moon through the car window.

The mountains outside the window swept by, and only the bright moon was always there.

I whispered to the moon and made a wish: I wish people a long time, thousands of miles together.

Looking at Song Shen again, he actually fell asleep.

It's just that I didn't sleep very well, I don't know what I dreamed of, and frowned slightly.

I quietly reached out to stroke his brow.

With such a good-looking face, I really can't bear to frown.

Don't even feel the slightest bit uncomfortable.

The bus stopped at the toll booth, and Song Shen opened his eyes.

I was caught off guard and kept looking down at him, caught by him.

He blinked slowly, with a slightly awakened daze.

I was a little embarrassed by being caught, and I was smiling and ready to lie back down.

The next second, he grabbed my head and kissed me.

18

It's so light that you can leave it at the touch of a button.

Someone in the back seat turned on the lamp and reached for something on the shelf.

Song Shen quickly let me go.

My face burned like fire, and I wrapped the hat of my coat around my face and pulled the zipper to the top, revealing only my two eyes.

He put his hands on my cheeks and turned me to meet him.

"So easy to be shy?" he asked, "what can I do when I see my parents?"

Meet the parents?

The palms of my hands immediately broke out with a light sweat, and I became more and more nervous: "Why didn't you say it in advance? ”

He was a little amused and asked, "What are you going to prepare?"

I struggled: "For example, how to be polite and thoughtful, how to make my uncle and aunt like me...... I haven't experienced any of this, so I have to Xi in advance. ”

Song Shen looked at me, curled the corners of his lips, and the smile quickly disappeared.

He said, "Not uncles and aunts. ”

I wondered, "Huh?"

He said, "My parents have passed away, and the elders I want to take you to see are their old friends. ”

In the carriage in the night, he used such a flat tone to talk about such things.

I looked at him without blinking.

Song Shen said, "Did it scare you?"

I took his hand and looked at him very seriously.

"If they're not here, then I'll have to love you a little more. ”

Song Shen stopped talking, just looked at me.

I pulled his palm down to his cheek and used the temperature of his face to warm his cold skin.

I whispered, "If I had known earlier, I would have loved you a little earlier." ”

He withdrew his hand and hugged me tightly.

I saw the moon outside the car window again.

May people last, may people last.

19

Song Shen's elders are very kind.

Even though he seemed to be of a high rank, he spoke to us with the same kindness as my father.

Towards the end of the meal, he offered to raise a glass to me.

Flattered, I quickly poured my wine and bent down to clink glasses with him.

Song Shen wanted to stop me, but he didn't, I was already gurgling and drinking.

There was reproach in his eyes.

Uncle Yuan smiled: "After so many years, Xiao Shen finally has someone by his side who can live an ordinary life." Thank you. ”

Song Shen lowered his eyes and didn't say anything.

I'm a little hot for some reason, maybe it's the glass of white wine.

I said, "No thanks, if you want to thank him, I thank him for giving me a chance." You don't know, it's me who chased him, hahahahaha. ”

Song Shen was a little embarrassed, and explained in a low voice: "She is like this as soon as she drinks." ”

Uncle Yuan looked at me, then at Song Shen, and laughed.

This meal was eaten for a long time, and most of the time, it was Uncle Yuan who was telling interesting stories about Song Shen when he was a child.

While listening, I sketched the appearance of Xiao Song Shen in my heart.

It must be the same as now, handsome and cold.

No one knows how warm he can be in private.

It was already evening when the show ended, so we said goodbye to Uncle Yuan and walked back to the hotel slowly.

There is a pot of flowers in the courtyard that cannot be named.

It's amazing, in the north, this season, the flowers are no longer blooming outside.

Song Shen moved a chair and asked me to sit down and look at it slowly.

On a whim, I took his hand: "Do you think you look like a rose?"

He asked rhetorically, "Roses?"

I nodded wildly: "The first time I saw it, I thought it was so beautiful, but if I wanted to reach out and pick it, I would be stabbed again." ”

He looked at me with some hesitation: "I'm sorry. ”

I hugged him and pressed my cheek against his neck.

"Don't say I'm sorry, there's the second half of the sentence...... Song Shen, when you are really willing to get close to someone, you will pull out all the thorns with your own hands, so only beauty remains. Hahahaha, don't I look like a poet?"

Song Shen didn't speak, just hugged my hand and pushed harder.

I struggled to straighten up so I could stay close to his ear.

muttered: "Song Shen, I love you so much." Thank you for giving me the opportunity to be close to you, you don't know how happy I am to be with you. ”

20

When I entered the room, I found that Song Shen had set a standard room.

Two beds, the Chu River and the Han realm, are innocent.

I glared at him, and he avoided my gaze.

After washing, I lay on the bed, and the more I thought about it, the shorter I became out of breath.

On the other bed, Song Shen breathed lightly, as if he had fallen asleep.

How could he!

Am I not attractive at all?

I got out of bed, then got on the bed, and climbed into his bed.

He opened his eyes.

The light moonlight came in, and I could read the confusion in his eyes.

I lifted the covers and slipped inside.

He said without blushing and heartbeating: "Oops, I haven't sleepwalked for a long time, and I feel that today is very suitable." ”

Song Shen was silent, turned over and got out of bed, went around to the bed that was originally mine, and lay down.

I sullen, sat up, and stepped over to him.

Through the quilt, use both hands and feet, and wrap him tightly.

"Am I so annoying, other people's boyfriends want to post with their girlfriends, why don't you?"

Song Shen was a little forbearing, and looked away: "You come down first." ”

I wanted to cry: "I don't want to. ”

He half-coaxed and half-persuaded: "The temperature is low, you will catch a cold." ”

I slipped into the covers and hugged his arm tightly.

In his shocked expression, he smiled sweetly: "So that you won't catch a cold." ”

Song Shen didn't seem to want to speak.

I comforted him again: "You don't have to worry about what I'm going to do to you, I can't beat you at all." If I break the law and commit a crime, you will tie me up. ”

He exhaled softly, and finally said, "Sleep." ”

21

I don't know if he'll be able to sleep, I can't sleep anyway.

Song Shen's arm was on my chest, and I didn't dare to move.

Fear...... Pressed to him.

He didn't dare to let go, for fear that he would leave quietly.

I couldn't sleep, so I watched his sleeping face.

The eyelashes are so long, the skin is so white, I really don't know how to grow.

I don't know how long it took, but there were a few intermittent moans from next door.

I suddenly realized what it was, and my cheeks suddenly turned red and I shrunk into the quilt.

The single bed was too narrow and, inevitably, touched his skin.

I hurriedly retracted my feet, afraid of the ice hitting him.

My hands and feet were cold in winter, and I didn't soak my feet tonight, and my feet are still icy until now.

It was only a moment to see him open his eyes.

Song Shen withdrew his hand and turned over, so my feet were tightly attached to his calves.

It's so warm...... It is also conceivable that he will feel a lot of ice.

I was so desperate to break away that I couldn't move.

"Don't move. His voice was a little hoarse.

The sound next door suddenly became intense, and I buried myself in the pillow little by little.

The atmosphere became strange, and I was a little embarrassed, peeking at Song Shen.

But I saw that he was motionless, looking at the ceiling in a daze.

It turned out that I was not the only one who was embarrassed......

The voices next door gradually subsided, and I suddenly had something else to think about.

I leaned close to his ear and asked, "Do you know the difference between a kiss and a kiss?"

Song Shen seemed to be aware of it, but did not answer, moved to the outside, and quietly distanced himself from me.

How could I let him go, reached out and grabbed his shoulder, threatening: "If you move again, I'll lie on you." ”

Song Shen was about to lose his temper by me, and looked at me forbearingly: "What do you want to do?"

Think...... You.

I was shocked by my own shamelessness, pressed my forehead against his shoulder socket, and laughed.

Laughing enough, I raised my head seriously: "I didn't think about anything, I just wanted to ask you, do you know the difference between kissing and kissing?"

Song Shen didn't speak.

The wind was blowing outside the window, and the shadows of the trees were shaking.

I slowly moved up a little: "If you don't say it, I'll treat you as if you don't know, I'll teach you ......"

Bow your head and kiss him on the corner of his lips.

His eyes widened suddenly, and those obsidian eyes stared at me.

His cheeks were a little red, but he had to be calm: "This is a kiss, let's learn what a kiss is." ”

Elbow up, close your eyes, and cheer yourself up.

Look down and bite his lip lightly, hoping he will open up.

But Song Shen did not cooperate.

I kissed it in a random way, and the sweat came out, and I still haven't found my way out.

Angry, he opened his eyes and glared at him: "Why are you like this." ”

I heard him laughing.

In the next second, his waist was hugged, and the sky was spinning.

All eyes were occupied by him, and those dark eyes, like a whirlpool, drained my reason.

I felt like I was going to drown in his eyes.

Song Shen leaned over and kissed me, not eagerly, slowly, patiently, guiding me.

It turns out that just like this, you can feel weak legs.

He finally let go of me, and I was about to go out of my body, holding his arm, gasping for air.

Song Shen stretched out his hand and gently touched my hair like a kitten.

Then he bowed his head, kissed me on the forehead, and said, "Sleep." ”

22

On the last day of the trip, Song Shen said that he was going to a place and asked me to wait for him.

As if he was not at ease, he told me to pay extra attention to safety if I walked outside.

I was inseparable from him all the way, and I was a little reluctant to part with him suddenly.

I tugged at the hem of his clothes and whispered, "What is it? Can you take me with you?"

He turned around, not speaking for a moment.

I added, "I'll just stand at the door, and I won't bother you, okay? I want to be with you." ”

Song Shen pursed his lips and finally said, "Okay." ”

When the bus stopped, he took me by the hand and walked forward, stopping at the funeral supply store.

There are yellow and white chrysanthemums in front of the store, some real and some fake.

Paper villas, paper cars, and paper clothes are all colorful, not gloomy, but like works of art.

Song Shen came out quickly, carrying a bag of dark coins and incense, didn't say anything, and led me forward.

I just noticed that he was wearing black today.

When I got off again, it was at the gate of the martyrs' cemetery.

Song Shen said something to the doorman, he opened the door and motioned for us to enter.

I probably realized what Song Shen was going to take me for, staring at my red leather boots, a little hesitant.

Color...... It's too bright.

Song Shen took a few steps forward, and when he saw that I hadn't followed, he raised his eyebrows slightly.

It's an inquiring look.

I said, "Can you wait for me, I'm taking my shoes off." ”

He was puzzled and frowned: "You will be cold." And there's a cobblestone road in there, and you're going to hurt. ”

I had quickly taken off my boots, stuffed them into my school bag, and smiled: "It's not cold, let's go." ”

The doorman laughed first: "Little sister, the people lying inside are all martyrs, they don't care about this. ”

Song Shen then understood, his eyes were dark and uncertain.

He put down the bag in his hand and walked over.

"If you come, they will be happy. He said so.

Then, he unzipped my bag, took out his boots, and put my ankles on his knees, and re-fastened the cords of his boots in circles.

He is serious in everything he does.

The doorman smiled and stood aside, not saying anything.

And my face was red.

Looking at his slender fingers, he suddenly lost his mind.

When I thought of the first time we met, he was the same, holding my ankle and spraying Yunnan Baiyao in all directions.

The last buckle is also fastened.

Song Shen pulled me up and gently touched the top of my head.

23

Stepping over cobblestones, passing by pines and cypresses, I walked in front of a tombstone.

It is the joint burial tomb of Song Shen's parents.

When they died, it was more than ten years ago, when Song Shen was six years old.

On the tombstone, where the names of children and grandchildren should have been written, were empty.

There is no Song Shen's name on it.

It can be seen that the staff of the cemetery have been carefully cleaned, and it is very clean and there are no dead branches and leaves.

Song Shen took out a tissue from the bag and gently wiped the photo on the tombstone.

The two people in the photo are smiling very clearly, and between their eyebrows and eyes, they can vaguely see a little shadow of Song Shen.

Song Shen straightened his waist, lit a few sticks of incense, and gave them to me.

I quickly took it and bowed and bowed.

After worshipping, he took the incense in his hand and waited for Song Shen.

He still maintained a bent down posture.

I haven't moved for a long time, maybe I'm talking to my parents in my heart.

Unconsciously drifted to the tombstone photo again.

Song Shen inserted the incense into the soil, and I followed suit.

The incense ash had accumulated for too long, and with a little force, it fell off and landed on the back of my hand.

烫——

Song Shen reacted faster than me, holding my wrist, unscrewing the bottle cap, and pouring water on the back of his hand.

In fact, it was only a momentary pain, and it was healed quickly.

I'm a little embarrassed to make a fuss.

And he seemed to be a little distracted.

I called out to him softly, "Song Shen, what are you thinking?"

He smiled: "When I was a child, my hands were as hot as you." My mom, like me now, quickly unscrewed the cap and poured water. ”

He was just talking about the past, but I suddenly wanted to hug him.

If even such a small thing can be deeply remembered.

So how many times has he chewed his memories with his parents over and over the years?

24

Although Song Shen and I are two years apart, our dates of birth are only one day apart.

I asked him how he spent his birthday, and he recalled, "Since I was seven years old, it's not just my birthday." ”

I jumped up: "How can that work?"

On the pedestrian bridge, he held my waist and helplessly: "Be careful." ”

I shook his hand and was full of interest: "Why don't we spend it together, on your birthday, okay?"

He hesitated for a moment, but finally nodded yes.

It happened to be a Saturday.

I made an appointment for a daily rental room, called Zhou Xuan, and invited a few of Song Shen's friends.

Everyone buys vegetables and cooks together, so it's not lively.

Song Shen sent me a message in advance, saying that the teacher had something to do with him, and he would be late, so we didn't have to wait for him.

Zhou Xuan stir-fried the vegetables and instructed Song Shen's classmates to wash the vegetables.

He asked casually: "Why did the teacher keep him and not you?"

Those people laughed: "Song Shen's graduation destination is controversial, it is estimated that the teacher is retaining." ”

I slowed down my chopping motion: "What controversy?"

They looked at each other, and one of them realized that something was wrong: "Didn't Song Shen tell you?"

Zhou Xuan observed my expression and said, "Don't sell it, hurry up." ”

She jokingly raised the spatula and urged, "If you don't say it, I won't cook." ”

The man said, "Hey, it's not a big deal. Song Shen wanted to return to Yunnan to be a policeman, but the teacher felt that he could have a better future and wanted to keep him in Beijing. ”

I said, "His hometown is in Yunnan, so it's normal for him to want to go back." ”

Another person hesitated and said, "However, Song Shen wants to be an anti-narcotics policeman." ”

A sharp ache.

The knife cut crookedly and cut into my finger.

Blood immediately gushed out and dripped on the cabbage, and the color contrast was obvious.

Zhou Xuan immediately threw away the spatula and shouted, "Why are you so careless?"

The classmates were immediately silent, and they went out to find the medicine box with great eyes.

After a few minutes, the probe reported: "There is no medicine box, let's go to the gate of the community to buy it." ”

ran away in a smoke, for fear that Zhou Xuan would be angry.

Zhou Xuan really hated that iron could not become steel: "You can cut every vegetable, go and go, go and sit next to it, and I'll cut it." ”

I was herded onto the couch and covered the wound with a tissue.

Blood gushed out and quickly soaked the tissues.

I pulled a few more and pressed it down.

The door opened, and I followed the prestige.

Song Shen carried a bag of medicine and stood at the door.

25

He closed the door and walked in.

"I ran into them on the way and they went to get the cake. He said.

I looked at him and had a lot to say, but I didn't know what to say.

Song Shen walked straight over and took my hand.

After seeing the blood on the tissue, he frowned and said in a stern tone: "Why are you so careless?"

I kept my head down and didn't speak.

He took out the cotton and alcohol from the bag and paused as he pressed it against the wound.

"It's going to hurt a little bit. ”

I nodded, "I'll put up with it." ”

He gave me a surprised look.

Yes, I've always been very squeamish, not to mention cutting my fingers, and I can stumble through the skin all day.

I kept my head down, avoiding his gaze.

The cotton was pressed against the wound, and the ten fingers were connected to the heart, and I was full of excitement.

Song Shen took out the bandage and instructed: "Don't touch the water, if you go back to take a bath, take a bag or a glove to cover the wound." ”

I nodded.

The bandage circled around my finger, and he continued: "If you need to change the bandage tomorrow, I will tell Zhou Xuan, please ask her to change it for you." ”

I nodded again.

He probably thought I was frightened, and his tone was rarely soft: "It looks like a lot of blood, but in fact, the wound is not big, and it will be fine in a few days." ”

A tear fell down my dark velvet pants and disappeared.

Song Shen finally realized that something was wrong with me and brushed my bangs away.

A moment of silence.

He asked, "Why are you crying?"

I wiped my tears from the back of my hand, trying to compose myself.

"Song Shen, you're going back to Yunnan to be an anti-narcotics policeman, right?"

He pursed his lips and asked me first, "Did you cut it because you knew this?"

The tears suddenly couldn't be stopped.

Song Shen reached over and wiped the tears from the corners of my eyes.

Soon warm tears welled up and dripped into the palm of his hand.

He simply hugged me and pressed my face against his chest.

Tears dripping down his shirt.

I heard him breathe a little heavily, and then he said, "I wanted to tell you later. 」

That's an acknowledgement.

Anti-narcotics police, that's anti-narcotics police.

It is the line of defense, it is a monument, and it is a new Great Wall built up by flesh and blood.

Also...... A profession that walks between blood and fire and rubs shoulders with death at any time.

I wrapped my arms around his waist and cried until I couldn't breathe.

He asked me in a low voice, "Xiaoxiao, do you have anything to say to me?"

I was speechless.

I suddenly remembered his parents, who were buried in the martyrs' cemetery.

Does the absence of the child's name on the tombstone imply some kind of protection?

I remembered that I had just met, and he said that if nothing else, he would never fall in love in his life, nor would he get married and have children.

There is also Uncle Yuan's words, saying that Song Shen has never intended to have in-depth contact with people, and I am an exception.

The details that were once forgotten are gradually connected.

I think I probably know, this is what he has always wanted.

Not ordinary policemen, but some special policeman who needs to give up all social relations.

Therefore, from a very early age, he isolated himself from intimate relationships and set an almost martyrdom-like ambition.

I was the "accident" who insisted on breaking in.

I have no qualifications and position to ask him to give up such a choice.

A long time ago, we said that we would seize the day.

It's just a day.

I choked up and tried to cry quietly so I could pretend that I wasn't that sad.

Song Shen pulled me away a little and lowered his eyes to look at me.

I tilted my head, trying to avoid his gaze.

I think I must have cried ugly and didn't want him to see it.

But he bowed his head and kissed me softly in the eye.

I heard him say, "I'm sorry. 」

The voice seemed to be in pain.

26

The door opened again, and several people were chattering about how much rain was outside.

Song Shen let go of me.

I lowered my head, bypassed him, and went to the bathroom to wash my face.

The moment the door closed, his back slid down the door.

I buried my face in my knees, held my head, and wept silently.

At that time, I didn't know that outside the door, someone looked at my figure reflected in the glass door, and couldn't move.

I washed my face with one hand, wiped it clean, and looked at myself in the mirror.

The eyes and nose are still red, but fortunately they don't sobble anymore.

I patted my face and threatened the person in the mirror: Ji Xiaoxiao, don't you cry anymore, shame on you!

When I came out of the bathroom, I laughed first: "It's so fragrant, Zhou Xuan, you are good at cooking. 」

Everyone is a human spirit, and immediately ignored my red and swollen eyes, and praised Zhou Xuan for her beauty, good cooking skills, and good cooking skills.

Zhou Xuan picked up the last dish and passed by me.

It looked like he wanted to say something, but he held back, just reached out and touched my head.

"Happy birthday, be happy, Xiaoxiao. She said.

A few boys lit the candles together, folded paper crowns, one for each person, and put them on the heads of Song Shen and me.

I don't know who pushed me tightly, and I crashed into Song Shen's arms.

He reached out and put his arm around my shoulder.

Zhou Xuan held up the Polaroid: "Come, look at me!"

So he smiled at the camera, and the moment the flash came on, he had to laugh out eight teeth.

Today is Song Shen's 21st birthday.

Then someone shouted: "Two birthday stars, make a wish!"

The lights in the living room were turned off.

Only the flickering candlelight remained.

I stole my eyes open to look at him, his eyes closed, his eyelashes cast a thin shadow by the candlelight.

He folded his fingers, and he was making a wish very seriously.

I vaguely remember what he had said before, not believing in these things.

So I closed my eyes too.

God, God, if you can really hear it.

Well, my 19th birthday wish is for him to be safe.

I want Song Shen to be safe.

27

Song Shen went to Yunnan.

Before leaving, log out all contact information.

All the information about him on the Internet, all erased.

I even wondered, when he arrived in Yunnan, would he even change his name?

Before leaving Beijing, Song Shen asked me to meet.

There was a faint blue and black under his eyes, as if he hadn't rested well.

I hadn't seen him for a few weeks, and I couldn't even blink my eyes, and when I was distracted, I suddenly heard him say, "Xiaoxiao, let's break up." 」

I did psychological construction before I came, and I couldn't cry when I thought about it.

But as soon as he spoke, I couldn't hold back, and my nose was sour.

Song Shen stood under the shadow of the tree, his fingers gradually tightening, but he didn't come to hug me.

"My job is very dangerous, and people around me may be retaliated against for me. His voice was a little tired, "Xiaoxiao, I hope you're safe. 」

Tears flowed down her cheeks.

I said, "You can contact me, really. You just have to tell me once a year and let me know you're alive. That's it, okay?"

Choked up and couldn't speak.

I looked at him pleadingly, "As long as that's the case, is it okay?"

saw Song Shen turn his head, and his eyes were actually red.

In an instant, it was like a hammer slamming into my heart, and my chest was about to crack with pain.

It turns out that seeing the tears of the person you love is a thousand times more painful than the tears of your own.

I shuddered and pulled out a tissue, stood on tiptoe, and wiped away his tears.

It was probably the last time I touched it, and my hands were shaking undecently.

I clumped the tissues in a ball, took a few steps back, and smiled as hard as I could, "It's okay, it's okay not to contact at all, it's okay to break up." Song Shen, don't be sad.

As long as you don't feel bad.

He closed his eyes heavily, his voice hoarse, "I'm sorry, Xiaoxiao. 」

I really held back my tears and said with a smile, "How could it be? Song Shen, do you remember what I said when we first got together?

Song Shen looked at me, emotions surging in his dark eyes, but they were all pressed down, like a frozen sea.

I grinned and waved goodbye to him, "Take care, Song Shen. Don't think about me in the future, I won't miss you anymore anyway, haha."

Birds chirp, and the wind blows the leaves.

Occasionally, passers-by took a curious look as they passed by.

Song Shen was silent and didn't move.

I'll take a closer look at him one last time.

A thin and tall boy who likes to wear dark clothes, his arms are very strong, but his fingertips are very gentle.

Song Shen, I have you in my eyes.

When I miss you, I blink, so that I never want to see you again.

He never spoke, and I laughed and repeated, "Goodbye, Song Shen. 」

I'll turn around first, I'll walk first.

Leave the dashing back to him so that he won't know, and the moment I turned around, I cried so badly.

28

After Song Shen left, I often woke up from my dreams.

dreamed of those cruel clips in film and television dramas and novels.

In my dream, those who shed blood and forbearance all turned into Song Shen's face.

When I woke up that day, I was covered in cold sweat and my heart was beating rapidly.

Looking at my phone again, it was ten past three in the morning.

Zhou Xuan crossed the fence, crawled over, hugged my doll, and lowered her voice: "Are you having nightmares again?"

I wiped my sweat and fell down: "I dreamed that Song Shen had an accident and fell into the river with a car. 」

Zhou Xuan reached over, touched my cheek, and asked, "Did you tell him before?"

I stared at the top of the mosquito net and blinked, "No. He's already under a lot of pressure and I don't want to embarrass him. 」

Zhou Xuan lay down, curled up beside me, and whispered, "Actually, Song Shen knows everything. 」

I rolled over and looked at her, "What did he tell you?"

Zhou Xuan seemed to be a little weak-hearted, and she struggled for a long time before she said, "After the birthday party, Song Shen asked me if it would be the best choice for you to let go. 」

I asked, "How did you answer?"

Zhou Xuan pinched my face: "I said impossible, if you let go, it will be equivalent to Ji Xiaoxiao's life." 」

I asked, "What's his reaction?"

Zhou Xuan smiled: "You man, don't you know? didn't react, just stood there without moving, his joy and anger were invisible, who knows what he was thinking?"

She asked again: "Well, I said okay? He actually can't bear it at all, hahahahaha. 」

I laughed along, laughing and laughing, and a layer of tears floated up.

Letting go is like killing me.

But if I don't let go, I might really die.

Song Shen, how tormented were you at that time?

29

I did lose all of Song Shen's news.

He was like a drop of water that flowed into the vast sea, and could no longer be salvaged.

I Xi, do questions, and learn languages as usual.

Zhou Xuan said, "Where is Song Shen gone, Song Shen lives on you." You take a look in the mirror yourself, and the way you brush up and make a presentation is exactly the same as him. 」

I couldn't help but laugh.

She pointed at me again: "Look at you, you look so cold when you laugh, isn't it a female version of Song Shen?"

I raised my hand in surrender and asked her to say no more.

I haven't told Zhou Xuan about the separation from Song Shen.

She only knew that Song Shen was going to be an anti-narcotics policeman, but there were many kinds of anti-narcotics police.

She didn't know that what Song Shen wanted to do was the most dangerous one.

Go deep into the belly of the enemy, return blood for blood, and uproot it.

It is a goal he has set since he was a child, even at the cost of his life.

He always carried the heavy grass monument on his back,

I don't look at handsome guys anymore, and I don't fall in love anymore.

No one can compare to Song Shen, how can they compare to him?

I became more and more simple, and the beautiful dresses I bought for Song Shencai were all sent home by me.

In the school closet, there are all solid color clothes, and you can wear them with just one piece.

Zhou Xuan is right, I have lived as Song Shen.

Because he likes to wear solid colors the most.

30

After graduating, I went to Switzerland to study abroad.

There is no trace of me living with Song Shen here, everything is new.

It's nice that maybe I can forget about him sooner.

Don't dream of him night and night.

On the evening of Thanksgiving, snow fell in Zurich.

I pushed open the window, and the cold air poured in, clearing my mind after reading literature all day.

With a "ding" sound, the computer prompts that a new email has come in.

Strange sender, the content is also very simple: Happy Thanksgiving.

There are no signatures, and there are no superfluous pleasantries.

It's like boring mass mailings.

I frowned, and when I moved my cursor to the "Delete" button, I suddenly couldn't press it.

An almost impossible conjecture came to mind.

Will...... Will?

I read and looked at the mail and there was nothing special.

But I just have an intuition, and that's Song Shenfa.

I pressed my forehead against the glass and laughed slowly.

Song Shen, if you sent it, then you are reporting peace to me, right?

Seriously fulfilled the promise you didn't promise at the beginning.

"You just have to tell me once a year and let me know you're alive. That's it, okay?"

He didn't say yes, but he did.

Tears were streaming down the corners of my eyes, and the glass reflection made it clear to me that I was smiling and smiling happily.

When I was celebrating the Lunar New Year in China, a Chinese friend invited me to her house to celebrate the New Year together.

A large family of overseas Chinese is very lively in making dumplings.

Grandpa was lying in a rocking chair, watching TV and chatting with us juniors.

The Spring Festival Gala hasn't started to broadcast yet, I don't know what channel he tuned to, and the Hong Kong Philharmonic is playing nostalgia on TV.

The familiar lyrics sounded, the hand pinching the dumpling wrapper paused, and I turned my head to watch the song playing on TV.

「...... Life is not painful, and there is no need to worry about gathering and dispersing. didn't remember the heroes and heroes in the turmoil, so let the floating name throw the sword lightly. I travel alone in a thousand mountains, and I don't have to send each other. 」

My grandfather was drinking tea when he saw me staring at the TV and laughed, "Have you heard it? 」

I said, "That's a great way to describe a friend of mine. 」

Don't talk about the pain, throw away the fame, and the thousand mountains only walk alone.

Grandpa joked, "Oh, then your friend must be a hero. 」

Everyone burst out laughing.

I also laughed, lowered my head to make dumplings, and slowly, tears welled up.

He's more than a hero.

In the first month, Zhou Xuan sent me a message: "Happy New Year, baby!"

I also replied, "Happy New Year and all the best!"

She sighed, "Wow, it's back in seconds. It should be the early hours of the morning when you're there, right? The capitalist countries are so ruthless, what kind of exploitation have they made of our Ji Meinu. 」

I held my phone and laughed.

When she was done poor, she sent a picture: "I cleaned up my bookcase two days ago and found that I forgot this photo for you. 」

I clicked on the picture.

It's a Polaroid photo, on my 19th birthday, Song Shen put his arm around my shoulder, and I smiled at the camera with eight teeth.

Song Shen didn't look at the camera, just looked down at me.

The circles under her eyes were already red, and I asked her, "You took a lot of photos that day, what about the others?"

Zhou Xuan replied quickly: "Song Shen is leaving, don't you know?"

Tears dripped down the screen very suddenly.

I think I probably can't forget Song Shen.

It's as if the whole world is reminding me not to forget.

31

When I received the call from Yunnan, I was writing an acknowledgment for my master's thesis.

Thanks to the tutors, to the school, and even to the kittens at home.

The kitten lazily jumped off my knees, leaving me with an arrogant ass.

That's how I picked up the phone with a smile.

"Hey, who's that?"

On the other side was Chinese, my most familiar mother tongue.

I can understand every word, but when they are connected, I can't understand them.

"You say, Song Shen is dead?"

The old voice seemed to choke up, and quickly returned to normal, asking me if I would like to take Song Shen's urn as a family member.

"Caution, he'll probably want you to do it. He sighed.

I bought a ticket for the most recent flight back home.

The tutor asked me why I was in such a hurry to go back, and there was only one defense left for the thesis, so I could go back to China after the end of the paper, saving me from going back and forth.

In his office, tears welling up in my eyes, I said, "I have a very important person who has passed away. 」

A flash of surprise flashed in his eyes, and he tapped me on the shoulder and said, "Be careful on the road, and take care of yourself. 」

The plane landed in Beijing.

Then it quickly transferred to Kunming.

Coming out of the terminal, there are already people waiting.

They were all dressed in civilian clothes, but they were very vigilant and bright-eyed.

When he saw me, he politely led the way, "Miss Ji, go this way." 」

The door opened, and a person was already sitting inside.

Suddenly, I felt that time passed, and the past was vivid, and it was as clear as yesterday.

Uncle Mourning held out his hand to me, "Xiaoxiao, I'm sorry to disturb you. 」

I shook his hand, and my voice was a little hoarse: "Where is he?

The car stopped.

In the courtyard with many checkpoints, there are already several rows of people waiting.

I saw the flag at a glance.

There is also a square box under the flag.

They held the box and walked towards me, step by step, solemnly.

Tears blurred my eyes, and I couldn't see anything else but the wooden box.

When they handed it to me, they had tears in their eyes.

I took the urn tremblingly, and fell to my knees.

宋慎,宋慎。

He was such a tall person, and he was actually in this little box.

I clung to the box, tears pouring out of my eyes.

All the muscles were trembling, the whole body was aching, and the bones seemed to be about to crack.

It was like a knife stabbed into the heart, slowly stirring, and the sharp pain quickly spread, penetrating the whole body.

I couldn't breathe, my forehead against the urn, and I poured out my breath in a whisper.

Song Shen, in the past, you would come to coax me when I cried, but you will never appear again in the future.

You'll never show up again.

A female policeman wanted to come over to help me, but Uncle Yuan signaled that it was not necessary.

He just crouched in front of me and called my name.

I looked up at him and saw that his hair was all white.

Uncle Yuan's mouth opened and closed, and I couldn't hear what he was saying.

I just hugged the box and asked, "Did it hurt when he left?"

32

Song Shen is a martyr and a hero.

He penetrated into the drug trafficking syndicates on the Sino-Vietnamese border, continuously sent intelligence, and tried several times to thwart the large-scale drug trade of the drug trafficking syndicates.

At the transaction site of the two major groups a month ago, a large number of police forces were gathered and were about to launch an encirclement and suppression, and Song Shen suddenly realized that it was a trap.

The real place of the transaction is not in the pre-sent intelligence.

The timed explosives had begun to count down, and Song Shen had every chance of escaping, but he chose to send the last piece of information to his comrades.

"Round."

But he could never go back himself.

Violently exploded, flames jumped into the sky, and trees with a radius of more than ten meters instantly burned, forming a small-scale mountain fire.

In that urn, only part of the suspected remains were contained.

He didn't even have a whole corpse left.

Uncle Yuan said, "His sacrifice was worthwhile. Following the clues he left behind, we smashed the drug cartels and arrested more than a dozen high-level fugitives. Among them is the murderer of his parents many years ago. 」

In the martyr's cemetery, Song Shen's tombstone stands next to his parents.

I crouched down and traced his eyebrows gently.

This should be a photo of him when he entered the police academy, it has not grown and is still very young.

But between the eyebrows, there is already a stability that does not meet the age.

Under the camera lens, Song Shen didn't smile at all. After a few years of time, a rebirth and death, looking at me from afar.

"I was surprised when he brought you to dinner with me, because I had never seen him with a girl. Uncle Yuan said, "If you look at his picture, he doesn't like to laugh all the time, but that day, he laughed a lot. 」

The nose is starting to sour again.

But my eyes, which had been crying for several days, were so dry that I didn't even have tears.

I was silent and put the coins into the fire.

Learn what he looked like years ago.

The ashes were swept up by the wind and fell on his photo.

And he was always young, always cold, and fixed for eternity.

Uncle Wai said that after the death of his parents, Song Shen lived in his house for a while.

He asked me if I wanted to go to Song Shen's room and pack some things to take away.

I asked, "What about his own home? the home with his parents. 」

Uncle Yuan said that the old unit building was demolished many years ago.

So, Song Shen, you became a homeless person very early, didn't you?

What were you thinking about those days of family reunion, when I complained that my parents were too strict?

I couldn't even think about it, I was afraid I was going crazy.

When I really arrived at Song Shen's room, I found that he didn't have anything special.

The room still retains the same appearance as before he left, as neat as a model room.

The desk was empty, except for a few middle school notebooks on the shelves.

I opened the closet, and it was empty, except for a few school uniforms, and there were only a few monochrome clothes left.

He was like he had nothing left but those of us who remembered him.

I sat on his bed and imagined Song Shen as a teenager, reading, writing, and sleeping in this room.

I felt that the room was filled immediately, and the corners of my mouth couldn't help but curl.

But once the curtains were opened and the sunlight shone in, I was the only one left in the room, a lonely shadow.

I didn't take anything.

I don't need to see things and think about people, Song Shen lives in my mind.

As long as I lived, he never disappeared completely.

When he said goodbye to Uncle Yuan, he wanted to say nothing but stopped.

I smiled, "I'll take care of myself, and you have to take care of yourself. Every year on his birthday, I come to see him. 」

Uncle Yuan said, "Xiaoxiao, he will want you to live your own life. 」

Live my own life?

But my life, in the slightest, has been tightly entangled with Song Shen.

I managed to spare my last bit of energy and flew back to Zurich to defend my dissertation.

I revised the acknowledgments and added Song Shen's name.

If one day I will die, then I hope that his name will not be hidden.

In this way, my name is juxtaposed with his.

Song Shen, Ji Xiaoxiao.

Once in love, once apart, once dead.

After graduating, I returned to China and rented a house near the company.

During the day I was a spirited engineer, and at night, I needed medication to sleep.

I quickly lost weight.

My mother came to Beijing for a trip and was shocked when she saw me.

"Xiaoxiao, is the work so hard? You only have a handful of bones left!"

She stayed in Beijing for a few more days, buying me vegetables and cooking, trying to make up for me.

One day I came home from work and saw her sitting on the couch and not watching TV.

On the coffee table, there are several medicine bottles.

She asked me, "Tell me, what are these?"

She is a fashionable old lady who makes good use of the Internet, and she asks knowingly.

I smiled and replied, "These are the medicines for depression. 」

She asked, "When did it start? Academics are stressful, work is stressful?"

I threw my head back, tears flowing down my throat.

"I fell in love with somebody, and then he died, and then, I was like that. I laughed, "I'm sorry, I don't want to do that either. 」

33

It's been two years and my depression hasn't gotten any better.

I don't celebrate birthdays anymore.

Many years ago, I stood on the footbridge and was amazed by Song Shen's sentence that "after the age of seven, there is no birthday".

In the distance, I suddenly understood him at that time.

If your birthday only reminds you of someone's death, then no matter how happy the day is, there is only sadness.

Zhou Xuan came to Beijing on a business trip, and when she saw me standing upright, she hugged me and cried.

She shoved the Polaroid photo to me and choked up, "You have to work hard to live for him, okay?"

I stared at the picture.

At the age of 19, I had just learned that Song Shen was going to Yunnan, and I cried bitterly.

At that time, I didn't know that there was still hope for life and death, and death was complete despair.

Ji Xiaoxiao, you are such a fool.

If I had known today, wouldn't I have smiled at him more in the first place?

Mom and Dad said they wanted me to start a family.

During my mother's physical examination at the beginning of this year, she was diagnosed with breast cancer.

"I believe you can be financially independent, but I also hope that one day, when you are faced with sudden difficulties in life, you will have a pair of hands by your side to support you, just like your father and I did," she said. 」

She said, "The dead are dead, but the living are alive. Xiaoxiao, just think about us, okay?"

She said, "We are both old, and many things can't help you, but I just want you to live a happy and stable life. 」

I promised her that I would accept a blind date.

The first seven all parted happily.

But the eighth one was not upset when he heard me say, "I have someone I can't forget, and maybe in marriage, it will be unfair to you."

He just smiled and said, "It's okay, I have one in my heart, and we're even." 」

His name is Tang River.

Later, along with my name, it was printed on the wedding invitation.

34

Zhou Xuan came to be my bridesmaid.

She first praised Tang He for being handsome and gentle, and then said, "Be kind to us Xiaoxiao, there were many people chasing her in the school at the beginning." 」

Tang He smiled and nodded yes.

The door to the dressing room closed, leaving only me and Tang He.

I asked, "The man in your heart......

He said, "She died in a car accident. 」1

I nodded suddenly.

He also asked, "So, your one?"

Tears welled up in my eyes, and I wiped them away with a smile and said, "He was a hero, and he died for this country. 」

Tang He gently patted me on the shoulder.

The wedding was very lively, and the master of ceremonies could speak well, which made the atmosphere hot.

I took my father's arm and walked up to the stage, and Tang He stood at the end of the line waiting for me.

Many years ago, I fantasized about exchanging rings with someone.

Changed.

The petals were scattered in the sky, and I was stuck in the oath link.

looked at Zhou Xuan in the audience for help, but saw a person sitting in a very dark corner.

Before reason could react, tears were already flowing.

I was shaking.

The master of ceremonies smiled and said, "It seems that our bride is so touched, she must be very happy to marry her beloved." Everyone applauded her!"

Friends and family applauded.

The man bowed his head and smiled, poured his wine, raised his glass to me, and drank it all.

For the intermittent recitation of the oath: "This work, in order to be loyal to you, is a great parting to death, a great ......"

To say that it is not big.

The man who should have read it to him.

Don gently wiped away the tears on his face and bowed his head to kiss for.

In the corner of his eye, there was no one in that corner.

35

The master of ceremonies loudly mobilized the atmosphere and encouraged everyone to cheer, and the stage seemed quiet in the midst of the noise.

I looked at the Don River, "I saw him. 」

He raised an eyebrow, "Yours, are you sure you're right?"

I took a deep breath, "I'm sorry. 」

He laughed, "If my one really could come today, I would have left you and left." each other. 」

Tang He called the master of ceremonies and whispered a few words to him.

The emcee's expression was a little confused, but he shortened the process as he said.

More than ten minutes later, I went out through the side door, took off my gown, took off my stiletto heels, stepped on a pair of slippers for dressing, and rushed out.

In the lobby of the hotel, there is no familiar figure.

I ran to the front desk lady and asked, "Did you just come in with such a tall man in a hat and in black?"

Maybe I was talking too fast, or maybe I was pretending to be too weird, and they looked at each other and didn't speak.

Zhou Xuan also chased after me and scolded me in a low voice: "Miss, what kind of wind are you smoking? Today is your wedding, do you know what a wedding is?"

She also wore a bridesmaid dress embellished with tassels.

I told her, "I saw Song Shen. 」

Zhou Xuan looked at me, a little helpless, a little tolerant: "Xiaoxiao, Song Shen is dead, have you forgotten the urn you brought back with your own hands?"

She reached out and touched my cheek and pulled me back, "Let's go, toast everyone." Don't drink it, I'll help you block it. You don't know, I've been drinking better in the last few years. 」

36

She dragged me back to the entrance of the ballroom, and I looked around the corner.

The wine glass clearly has traces of passing.

Tears welled up, and I broke Zhou Xuan's hand: "It must be Song Shen. 」

Zhou Xuan looked at me and almost cried: "Xiaoxiao, why are you so dead-eyed? He is dead, he died two years ago. Xiaoxiao, you can't take your whole life for him. 」

I began to tremble again, and with what little reason I had left, I said, "You help me tell the guests that I fainted with low blood sugar and can't toast everyone. You help me tell Tang He that I can't stand him, and I'll pay it back another day. 」

I can't go on anymore.

I turned and left.

The audience was full of excitement and happiness, and I don't know what Song Shen was thinking if it was really Song Shen, who was sitting in that corner and watching me exchange rings and raise a glass to me.

It's like what the little boy in Yunnan who suddenly lost his parents more than ten years ago was thinking when he learned of his parents' death.

I can't imagine.

The front desk lady is still the same, and when she saw me appearing again, her expression was a little inexplicable.

I put my hands on the table and choked up, "Have you seen a man in black and a hat? Very thin, about this tall, have you seen him?" 」

I looked up, and tears were still streaming down my face: "Please, did you see him?"

The front desk lady hurriedly handed me a tissue, and the other lady hesitated and said, "See......

Someone around her looked at her reproachfully, and she knew that she had lost her words and stopped talking.

I held her wrist tightly, and tears fell down my face: "Did you see that? You tell me where he went, okay? Please, please. 」

I couldn't stand anymore, and the whole person slid down the platform, covering my face, tears streaming down my fingers.

The front desk lady hurriedly walked around to the front and tried to pick me up.

I took her hand: "He is very important to me, and I can't live without him. Please, tell me. 」

She finally said, "He told us not to say it...... Alas, he went out to the left, and we don't know where he went. 」

I stood up on the platform, bowed to her, and bowed again, "Thank you, thank you. 」

Pull out your legs and go.

Left, left.

There is a sidewalk on the left, a bus stop, and taxis waiting to pick up passengers.

Looking up, passers-by were in a hurry, and there was no Song Shen.

I grabbed the shopkeepers on the side of the road and asked, "Did a man in a black dress and a hat pass by?"

There is no answer.

The late autumn wind was so cold that my cheeks were about to break.

Tears still came in layers.

But Song Shen hasn't been found yet.

Song Shen is gone, he won't come to me again.

At this moment, this idea inexplicably came to mind, but it was so certain.

Yes, according to Song Shen's character, when he sees me getting married, he won't bother me again.

My chest was suddenly blocked, and I sat down with the street lamp and gasped for air.

In the eyes full of Venus, I think of a person.

Fingers trembling, dialing that call.

"Uncle Yuan," I said, "Is Song Shen back?"

38

I finally walked to this remote B&B.

Along the way, I was calling the phone number that Uncle Yuan left me.

But he couldn't get through, so he turned off his phone.

The proprietress was sweeping the leaves, saw me, smiled and asked, "Accommodation?"

I asked hoarsely, "Is there a man living here?" I'm wearing black clothes and a black hat today. 」

She asked, "Are you his friend?"

Tears welled up again, and I said, "Can you tell me which room he lives in?"

The proprietress frowned: "I can't tell you this, you can contact it yourself." 」

I shuddered and scanned the QR code on her desk with my phone: "I'll give you money, how much do you want to tell me? Is 1,000 yuan enough? 2,000?"

I gave her the screen on which the payment was successful, and looked at her with a choked voice, "Can you tell me...... Which house does he live in?"

The proprietress was frightened and slowly moved back to look at me with the eyes of a madman.

In the entrance mirror beside me, I saw myself.

In the late autumn season, she was wearing short sleeves and open-toed slippers, and her beautiful bridal makeup was covered with tears, and she really looked like a mentally disturbed woman.

I smiled, took a few steps back, sat down in front of the B&B, and over again, and continued to make that call.

Song Shen, you take it, you take it.

But the mechanical voice kept saying, "Your call has been turned off, please call again later......

I buried my head in my knees, and slowly, I felt like I couldn't breathe again.

Suddenly there was a dog barking, and the white one, as if it had seen an intruder, rushed up quickly in my direction.

The proprietress hurriedly scolded: "Fortune, go away, go away!"

I stood up against the wall and tried to hide, but my foot went numb and I fell back to where I was.

I put my hands on my head, and my heart was about to stop.

In the next second, he was beaten and picked up.

The big dog, who had been roaring angrily, suddenly became well-behaved, rubbing around his calf.

He looked down at me, and there were thousands of emotions in his eyes, but they all pressed down.

宋慎。

I reached out and touched his face with a trembling hand.

Warm skin, not an illusion.

He hugged me and walked all the way inside, passing by the proprietress and nodding at her, "This is my friend. 」

The door opened and closed again, and he gently placed me on the couch.

His room was almost dark, and he reached out to turn on the light, then took a coat from his suitcase and handed it to me.

"Put it on, or you'll catch a cold." 」

I ripped my coat and tossed it aside.

Then he walked over and hugged him tightly.

It was as if there were endless tears, one by one, dripping on his chest.

He froze.

I couldn't say a word, I just wanted to hold him tighter.

He didn't disappear, he wasn't engulfed in fire, he wasn't lying in that little box.

Song Shen, my Song Shen, he is really in my arms.

I don't know how long it took, Song Shen suddenly pushed me away, and his movements were light and resolute.

His eyes were a little red, but he smiled and said, "Xiaoxiao, happy newlywed. 」

40

He wrung out a hot towel and gently wiped away the tears on my face.

I grabbed his wrist tightly and flipped it over to look at the light.

There were several scars on it.

Song Shen choked for a moment.

I stood up and reached out to strip him of his clothes, and the shirt buttons were only unbuttoned twice, and I could see the knotted scars on my collarbone and shoulder.

Tears fell out again.

I continued to unbutton the button, but he held it down.

I shook his hand away, trembling and trying to untie it.

And I heard him say, "Don't look. 」

The indescribable sourness spread from the bottom of my heart to my eyes, and I threw myself on it, tiptoeing, and went to his lips.

Hard, kiss it.

Song Shen's eyes widened suddenly.

He's going to push me away, and I won't let me.

They tripped over something, and the two of them fell on the bed together.

The moment I fell, he was still protecting my head, afraid that I would hit it.

I pulled his wrist and leaned down to kiss him.

Soft and warm, Song Shen in my memory is now by my side.

I don't know how long it took, but slowly, he began to respond to me.

The overhead light fell on his obsidian eyes, like a firelight flickering.

He put his hand over my eyes and kissed it deeper.

Years of separation, heartbreak, and even despair all melted into hot hugs and kisses.

Tears slowly flow down from the corners of the eyes, and it turns out that when people are happy, they will shed tears.

I rubbed my arms around his neck and lifted the hem of his clothes.

I felt a lot of scars.

He froze.

In the next second, Song Shen let go of me and sat up.

His chest was still rising and falling with emotion, but he reached out and slapped himself hard.

"Xiaoxiao," his voice hoarse, "I'll send you back, today is your wedding." 」

41

The phone rang.

I picked it up.

It's the Tang River.

Song Shen looked over and smiled, "Is it your husband?"

I didn't speak, I pressed the amplification button.

Tang He's relaxed voice came out, "Ms. Ji, have you found your one?"

Song Shen's face changed slightly.

I said, "Yes, he's right with me. 」

Tang He smiled freely, "You're much luckier than me, really. 」

I was silent and said, "I'm sorry today...... I'm sorry for you. 」

He said, "It's not a trouble, it's a bit of a shame at best, people think I've been put on the show by the bride. Hahaha, there is just a reason to divorce you. 」

Feeling tears coming up, I choked up and laughed, "Well, I will return all the gift money to you, and I will also give you a compensation, I'm sorry." 」

Tang He smiled exaggeratedly: "We almost became husband and wife, do you want to be so polite? I said that if my one came back today, I would leave you behind. 」

The tissue in my hand was about to crumple up, and I struggled over and over again, but all I could say was, "I'm sorry. 」

He hung up.

Song Shen sat next to him and listened to the whole process.

I asked him, "Do you want to send me back now?"

He kept his head down and didn't speak.

I wanted to shed tears again, punch after punch, and slammed it on his shoulder.

"You send me back, and you just watch me marry someone else! You're always like this, making decisions that are good for everybody, putting yourself last. Have you ever asked me what choice I would like to make?"

He just sat still and let me beat him.

I suddenly couldn't stand still, squatted down, looked up into his eyes, and burst into tears.

"Song Shen, if I hadn't seen you today, we'd be finished. You know what?"

He finally spoke, "I thought you were happy. 」

Am I happy? Leave you behind and walk into the marriage hall with another man, will I be happy?

I grabbed his hand and pressed it to my chest, "Don't you know how much I love you?" 」

He shook his head, reached out and pulled me up, then hugged me so hard that he wanted to rub me into my bones.

42

My parents' phone rang in.

Zhou Xuan's voice trying to persuade him could still be heard over there.

However, my mother was still very angry: "Ji Xiaoxiao, you are really too rude, is it true that the scholar escapes from marriage?

I said, "Mom, he's back. 」，

The anger on the other side suddenly stopped, and my mother asked hesitantly, "He, the policeman who died?"

...........

That day, in the cramped B&B room, Song Shen asked me if I had thought it through.

I've lost him for so many years, and every day, I dream of going to him.

So it was when he was born, and so it was when he died.

I smiled with tears in my eyes: "I don't want the day and the night, I want your whole life, okay?"

He stood by the window, with his back to me, like a silent shadow, as if he would merge with the night at any moment and disappear again.

I suddenly felt a little frightened, hugged him from behind, and choked, "I don't want to be separated from you anymore. 」

I heard a sigh.

Song Shen turned around, covered my eyes, and kissed me deeply.

How strange it is, I obviously couldn't hold back and didn't cry, but why, my face is wet?

That day, Song Shen said that he would take care of the rest of the matter to him.

So Uncle Yuan flew from Yunnan to Beijing.

He didn't use a big battle, but my parents still looked a little uncomfortable looking at the two plainclothes standing still at the door.

I don't know what Uncle Yuan said to my parents, but when I came out of the study, my mother hugged me and cried.

Dad patted Song Shen on the shoulder and only said, "You guys have to be good in the future." 」

43

I never asked him how he came back two years after his death.

Uncle Yuan vaguely mentioned a few words, saying that Song Shen designed another drug dealer to become a so-called undercover agent for the police.

In that explosion that burned all the evils, he escaped alive, but he also lost contact with the upline.

In the past two years, he has suffered too much, was suspicious, suspected, and hibernated, and finally found a flaw, captured the leader, and returned to the territory.

寥寥几句带过，背后却有无数的惊心动魄。

History will not be recorded, and the news will not be reported, but the motherland will remember.

He and his comrades-in-arms are the shield that lives in the shadows, the shield of silence.

............

The Yunnan Provincial Department and the Jiangsu Provincial Department were handed over, and Song Shen stayed in Nanjing to work.

This is a kind of protection for him.

I resigned and followed him to Nanjing.

During the days when I didn't find a job for a while, I stuck to him every day.

At night I had nightmares again, screaming and waking up covered in sweat.

Song Shen turned on the night light, stretched out his hand to hug me, didn't ask anything, just lowered his head and kissed my forehead.

I hugged him tightly, skin to skin and nose to nose.

He has breathing, he has a heartbeat, he is right next to me, not an empty illusion.

Fingers rubbed against his arm.

I want to have him completely, completely, with him.

He froze and gripped my fingers.

I whispered, "Song Shen......"

With her face pressed against his shoulder socket, she kissed him slowly.

Starting with the scar on his collarbone, kiss through every wound.

He rolled up his shirt: "It's ugly. 」

I rubbed my tears onto the quilt, then looked up at him and smiled, "It's not ugly, that's your medal." asked

The scars, the darkness, the ungraceful marks carved by the years.

It's all your badges.

The fingers touched the long, deep scar on his ribs, and it warmed up a little.

How did these scars come after in a scene that I couldn't see or imagine?

I don't want to ask, and I don't want him to recall.

I just want him to understand that no matter what he becomes, he's my baby.

It was, it is, and it will be in the future.

The last kiss, the breath was already messed up, and the lips were pressed against the corners of his lips.

Song Shen pushed me away slightly, as if he was patient.

He looked at me, his eyes shining like jewels, "Are you sure?"

I nodded affirmatively and told him, "Song Shen, I love you. 」

The position changed abruptly, and he looked down at me.

Those dark eyes seemed to hide the deep sea, and I looked into them, and I couldn't extricate myself.

Song Shen kissed it.

The sea is surging, and it is difficult for the boat to cross it.

Finally, I hugged him by the neck and whispered, "Song Shen, I love you so much. 」

He kissed me on the forehead, and his voice was hoarse, "Me too. 」

45

When I woke up, I had already changed into a nightdress, and there was no one on the pillow side.

I suddenly thought of the last clip yesterday, it was Song Shen who carried me to take a bath.

Some hindsight blushes.

I got out of bed and slowly walked to the living room, where I saw Song Shen cooking noodles in the kitchen.

He heard the movement, looked back at me, and smiled, "Wake up? Go wash up, you'll be fine in no time." 」

I said "oh" and didn't walk away, reaching out and hugging his waist.

The forehead rubbed against his back, just trying to hug him, nothing more.

Song Shen put down the spoon and squeezed my hand.

"I'm right here, not leaving. He told me, and then he bowed his head and kissed the top of my hair.

After I finished washing, he brought two bowls of noodles, one bowl was mine, the toppings of shredded pork in Kyoto sauce.

A bowl was his, with only greens and sporadic oil flowers.

I didn't even think about it, I reached out and adjusted the two bowls of noodles, and chattered: "You have lost a lot of weight, you have to eat more meat, and slowly get back in weight." 」

Song Shen pursed his lips and said, "Xiaoxiao, I don't eat meat anymore. 」

I was stunned as the literature on PTSD that I had read frantically because of his return came back to my mind.

I hurriedly changed the bowl back and gulped down the noodles: "Then I'll eat it, I'll gain a little weight too." 」

Song Shen put down his chopsticks.

He said slowly, "I have a lot of problems physically, mentally. I can't hear a shrill whistling, I can't drive, I can't eat meat, I have multiple broken bones, I have a knee injury, and I may not be able to walk in the future; The risk of blindness is many times higher than that of the average person......

I didn't dare to look at him, I devoured my head and tears fell into the bowl.

I heard him say, "I'm not a sound person, so Xiaoxiao, you can leave me at any time. I promise, no one will interfere with your choice. 」

I looked at him, and he smiled.

He was very serious about giving me the right to leave him at any time without any moral or even legal responsibility.

I put my chopsticks down and said, "I'll get my certificate tomorrow." 」

Song Shen's expression was a little stunned: "What?"

I said, "The cooling-off period has passed, and the divorce certificate between me and Tang He has been obtained. The law doesn't stipulate that a newly divorced woman can't get married right away, right? Or don't you want to marry me?"

He looked at me in silence.

I put my bowl and used pot in the sink, boiled the water to the maximum, squeezed the dish soap, and vigorously wiped off the grease stains.

Use this to calm yourself down.

I sat back across from him.

"I can drive, and I can push your wheelchair later, and if you are blind, I will do your eyes. It's okay to scream, I'll cover your ears; It's okay not to eat meat, there's more than one way to supplement protein

Because I was a little annoyed, I spoke a little fast, and at the end of the conversation, I finally slowed down and looked at him.

"Everything you said can be solved, and that's not a reason to separate. I will not be separated from you, and I hope that you will stand with me in the face of difficulties together. Instead of pushing me to the other side of safety and stability, I bear it all on my own. 」

Song Shen walked over and shook my hand.

I broke his hand and glared at him, with tears in my eyes, "I'm really going to be angry if you say something like this in the future. 」

He leaned over and hugged me, his voice almost sighing, "I won't. Xiaoxiao, I love you. 」

46

While he waited for the formalities and I waited for the offer, we went to get the marriage license.

Along the way, the corners of my mouth were so upturned that I couldn't hold it down.

The young lady who knocked on the chapter smiled and looked at Song Shen: "Your wife really loves you." 」

Song Shen smiled, "Yes, I'm lucky. 」

After walking out of the Civil Affairs Bureau, I pulled his sleeve and whispered: Fortunately me. 」

Luckily, such a man whose silence is like the deep sea, allowed me to enter his life.

It is the Li Festival when gardenias bloom, and there are old ladies who look at baskets full of flowers to sell.

Song Shen paid for it and bought a string around my wrist.

There is the fragrance of flowers all over the body.

I was amazed, "Why are you so skilled at weaving bracelets?"

He bumped him on the shoulder: "In the years of separation, have you ever liked someone else?"

Song Shen said casually, "No. There was a very tedious time when I imagined making things up for you to pass the time. 」

I don't know what the taste is in my chest, I can't speak, I just try to smile.

He bent down, folded a dog's tail grass, and his fingers were very sensitive, and made a ring for me.

Then he took my hand and put it on my left ring finger.

"You're my man. He said.

I nodded vigorously.

Song Shen smiled and scratched my nose: "Mrs. Song, will you be too easy to support?"

He pulled out a small box from his trouser pocket.

When I opened it, there was a diamond ring inside.

I covered my mouth.

I used to think that the heroine of the idol drama expressed surprise was too exaggerated, but I really didn't know until I realized that she really wanted to scream, so I subconsciously covered my mouth.

Song Shen took off the grass ring and replaced it with the diamond ring.

Not big, not too small, just right.

I can't get enough of it.

Song Shen was always by my side, looking at me with a smile.

I thought I was so stupid that it took me a long time to remember, "How can you know my size so accurately?"

He said, "When you were asleep at night, I measured it secretly. 」

I can't imagine him tiptoeing out of bed to find a tape measure to measure my fingers.

This is Song Shen, this is Song Shen!

I stomped my foot, "I didn't have a ring for you!"

Song Shen couldn't help but laugh: "It's okay with me. 」

How could it be okay? I want to give you the best things in the world.

I dragged him to the gold shop.

The shopping guide learned that we had just received a marriage certificate today and said that she would give us a discount.

"A good match. She said.

Song Shen bowed, and I smiled and said, "Thank you, I feel the same way. 」

The shopping guide smiled and said, "How long have you known each other?"

She was a little embarrassed: "My boyfriend and I are also planning to get married, and I'm worried about whether it will be too soon. 」

How long have we known each other?

At the age of 18, I met him at the entrance of the subway; 19 years old, with him for his birthday; 22 years old, received mail from him in a foreign country; 24 years old, lost him.

Holding his hand couldn't help but tighten, only in this way could I be convinced that at the age of 26, he was back with me.

The shopping guide is still waiting with a smile.

Song Shen replied, "Eight years, six months and three days. 」

There are zeros and whole parts, so precise.

I couldn't help but look at him, and he looked at me too, and then reached out and touched my cheek.

The shopping guide looked at me with a smile: "Miss, your husband loves you very much." 」

With tears in my eyes, I smiled, "Yes, I'm so lucky. 」

47

I sent a photo of me holding hands with Song Shen to Zhou Xuan.

Of course, the focus is on the ring on the ring finger.

Zhou Xuan really exploded: "Ji Xiaoxiao, look at you! Can you stop showing affection in front of a single dog?! 」

Within a few seconds, she chased another message: "Damn, I want to cry when I see you happy. 」

Soon, she retracted the message.

sent a new one: "Xiaoxiao, be happy." 」

My best friend, how could I not understand her heart?

She didn't want me to be reminded of the past, and those pains and pains should not be remembered again.

She just wants my future to be happy and fulfilling.

The chat with Zhou Xuan reminded me of another thing, so I ran to the study to find Song Shen.

"Where's the photo?"

Song Shen was using the computer, and he pulled me to his lap and sat down: "What photo?"

He had just drunk water, and his lips were a little wet, and he looked very seductive.

And now this distance ...... It's dangerous.

I could kiss him as soon as I looked up.

Of course, I did.

It's all legal husband and wife, and it's not kissing, right?

Song Shen held my waist and made me sit more comfortably.

But in reality, it was a siege that took all my breath.

So much so that by the time he left me, I had forgotten why I had walked into the study in the first place.

He looked at me with some amusement: "You said the photo. 」

I patted my head, "Did you ask Zhou Xuan how many Polaroid photos she wanted?" I asked her if she wanted it, and she said the rest would be given to you. 」

He helped me to my feet and pulled an old wallet out of the bookcase.

When I opened it, there was a photo of us together, and there was a photo of Zhou Xuan taking me alone.

Flipping through it again, a note came out.

Song Shen's face changed slightly, and he reached out to grab it.

He rarely had such a big reaction, and I was even more curious, so I ran to the living room with a slip of paper and a cigarette, reading as I ran.

The pace slowed down and finally stopped.

On the note, in his college days, he wrote: If one day I die unfortunately, please burn these photos to me. Song Shen.

I handed him back the note and wallet.

Song Shen took it, his expression was a little embarrassed: "Before going undercover, I will let me write a suicide note." I don't have any last words to leave behind, so I'll ......."

His words stopped as I hugged him tightly.

He paused for a moment, then reached out and hugged me, stroking my long hair over and over again: "I'm sorry, Xiaoxiao. 」

48

I'm pregnant.

We didn't deliberately contraceptive, and this result can be said to be natural.

It's just that in the bathroom, the moment I saw the result of the pregnancy test, I still set off fireworks in my heart.

I have Song Shen's child.

It's incredible.

Song Shen was sorting out the documents in the study, and I pushed the door and walked in.

He looked up, saw me, smiled and asked, "What do you want to eat tonight?"

I asked him, "Is there anything to avoid when pregnant women?"

He thought about it for a moment and said, "You can't smoke or drink, and there should be no taboos about the rest, and from a medical point of view, a normal diet can be ......."

I looked at him and laughed and laughed and laughed.

He suddenly realized something, and paused in the middle of speaking.

Surprised, incredulous, gently put his hand on my lower abdomen.

"Here?"

I handed him the pregnancy test, "Congratulations, Song Shen, you're going to be a father. 」

For a moment, he wanted to pick me up, but he stopped, perhaps because of the fact that the baby was not yet the size of a soybean.

Then I saw him walking in circles around the study.

I was dazzled and couldn't help but laugh, "Can you take a break?"

He sat down beside me, put his fingers in my long hair, gently held my head, and then bowed his head and kissed me.

Ear and sideburns grinding.

Gradually, from sitting to lying, I nestled in the soft sofa and looked at him with my eyes open.

I rarely seem to open my eyes at such times, so much so that I was a little surprised.

"Your ears turn pink. 」

He was silent for a moment, then said, "You can easily turn pink, too, more than ears. 」

Some of the fragments were infinitely magnified in my mind, and my face burned red.

Xi habitually wanted to find something to cover his face, but the pillows were thrown to the ground.

In the end, he had to bury himself in his shoulder socket and said in a muffled voice, "Song Shen, you seem to have learned badly. 」

Obviously, I used to tease him.

Song Shen learned from me, and also lowered his voice, telling me, "I used to have scruples, but now I don't. 」

I seemed to realize, "So?"

He laughed, "So, it's going to be a little worse later. 」

49

Song Shen began to commute normally.

On Saturday, when we were both resting, he accompanied me to my prenatal checkup.

In the four-dimensional color ultrasound image, the baby is lazily kicking his legs and is not very cooperative.

Song Shen looked intently at the blurred images on the screen, looking more seriously than me.

The doctor put away the probe and smiled, "The baby is healthy. 」

He also told Song Shen: "At the age of seven months now, sleep may be more difficult, and you need to take more care of the emotions of pregnant women, and pregnancy is not an easy task. 」

Song Shen nodded for a while, looking like he wanted to memorize the doctor's words.

I couldn't help but smile.

Time is magical, isn't it?

When I first met Song Shen, how could I have thought that the boy with a detached and cold expression would one day stand in the obstetric clinic with me and seriously learn how to be a qualified father Xi.

When I came out of the hospital and passed by the movie theater, he suddenly asked me, "Do you want to go to the movies?"

I hurriedly went to the theater information: "But the recent releases are all action movies, ah, let's go watch this, romance movies. 」

Action movies inevitably have fights and fights, and I don't want him to see them. 1

He said, "I can see whatever you want. 」

Following his gaze, it was a bouncing couple.

He said flatly, "It seems like I haven't accompanied you to the theater for a long time, doing what a normal couple should do. 」

I smiled and shook his hand, "Song Shen, do you want to make up for the years when you weren't by my side?"

He didn't speak, which was a tacit acquiescence.

I rested my head on his shoulder and smiled and laughed, "I don't have to do anything out of my way, as long as you're here, I'm happy." 」

50

It was evening when the show ended.

Not a very interesting movie, seeing the second half of the movie, I was already drowsy.

When Song Shen woke me up, the people in the theater were almost gone, and there were only a few left, waiting for easter eggs.

Reflecting the screen, his eyes looked glowing, and he was looking at me with interest.

I coughed and said, "It's your child who wants to sleep, not me." 」

Song Shen laughed in a low voice: "Well, it's all to blame on the baby. 」

He slowly helped me up, and then walked out slowly, ready to take a taxi.

Xinjiekou is very lively, passing by an old lady with gray hair and wearing a cheongsam, who is in good spirits and has a unique temperament.

I tugged at Song Shen's sleeve and motioned for him to look over, "I'm wearing this when I'm old. 」

He thought for a moment and smiled, "Then do I have to stay on track?"

I asked, "Why?"

He was serious: "My wife is so good-looking, I'm afraid that other old men will rob me." 」

I laughed and tried to speak, but was suddenly interrupted by a commotion.

In the window of a building, a child hung at some point, dragging the window frame and crumbling.

Song Shen also looked over.

In the next second, he strode over-

At the same moment, the child completely lost his strength and fell down from the connection of the window frame.

我捂着心口。

Fortunately, fortunately, Song Shen caught it.

The crying child had already been picked up by others, and Song Shen pressed his arm with a painful expression.

I hurriedly called 120, ran over to him and asked, "How are you? Where are the injuries? Is it serious?"

He frowned and comforted me, "It's okay, there was an unload halfway through, and it didn't hurt much. 」

撒谎。

How could it be okay to fall from such a high place, it's not like I haven't studied physics.

Someone around was taking a video with a mobile phone, and there were words in his mouth: ", in Xinjiekou, this child fell off at once, parents still have to pay attention......

I hurriedly blocked Song Shen's face and shouted, "Don't shoot it!

Song Shen also reacted, lowered the brim of his hat, and patted the back of my hand soothingly: "It's okay, let's go." 」

Without waiting for an ambulance, we left the scene in a hurry and walked to the emergency room.

Along the way, I was a little nervous.

Worried about his arm, worried about those videos.

Song Shen was in a cast by the doctor, and he was distracted to comfort me: "It's okay, Xiaoxiao. It's so far away, I'm wearing a hat again, and the probability of seeing my face is very low, don't worry, okay?"

51

Things do not turn out the way you want.

On this day, Zhou Xuan sent me a video.

In the video, the little boy is shaky, and a man in black runs over to pick him up.

The moment he fell, the little boy's hand struck the brim of the man's hat, revealing his face.

The voice of the video continued: "Catch it quickly, what is an ordinary hero? This is an ordinary hero!"

The video has more than 100,000 likes, and I can't guess how high the number of views will be and how many people will see it.

The comment area was full of praise, but I saw that my hands and feet were cold and my chest was stuffy.

All kinds of chaotic imaginations poured out in my mind, and I wanted to call Song Shen, but my throat couldn't make a sound.

The phone slid out of his hand, clanged, and slammed to the ground.

Song Shen came out of the study, followed the prestige, and found that something was wrong with me.

He half-squatted down and asked worriedly, "Xiaoxiao, is there anything uncomfortable?"

His hand held mine, warm and fresh.

After the video ended, the loop began again, and the excited voices of passers-by sounded: "that kid is going to fall—"

Song Shen picked up the phone, glanced at it, immediately understood what was happening, and patted the back of my hand: "It's going to be fine, trust me, I'll deal with it." 」

After saying that, he got up and went to the balcony to make a call.

I rubbed my fingers and refreshed the video over and over again.

Song Shen came back, held my hand, and said, "Xiaoxiao, don't read it, I'll delete it." 」

Tears seemed to choke my throat, and I couldn't speak, just broke his hand, lowered his head, and continued to slide my fingers.

Brush again, brush again.

I don't know how long it took to refresh, but it finally showed "This video has been deleted, please return to the home page to watch more wonderful videos".

I breathed a sigh of relief.

Song Shen slowly hugged me from behind, completely enveloping me.

His body temperature, his heartbeat, his breath.

I heard his voice again, pained, "I'm sorry, Xiaoxiao. 」

I rubbed the back of his hand gently, "Don't say I'm sorry, Song Shen. 」

It's not your fault that you don't hesitate to save people.

It's not your fault that you're going undercover incognito.

You're a good person, a good, kind person.

Even if the whole world should say sorry, it shouldn't be you.

I turned around and held his face.

The sun was shining in, and I could see clearly that there was some wetness on his long, curled eyelashes.

52

The due date is approaching, and we go to the hospital for a final prenatal checkup.

The doctor smiled and said that the baby was very healthy, and said that the baby does not like to move, and it must be a chronic child in the future.

I laughed along, "Chronic son is good, like Dad, calm. 」

Song Shen's expression seemed to be a little regretful.

The doctor joked to him, "What's the matter, aren't you happy?"

Song Shen smiled and only said, "If you are like my wife, it will be better.

The doctor laughed and quipped, "Then if you work hard and have more children, there will always be someone like Mommy." 」

He had always ignored the jokes, but now he bowed his head seriously, as if he were very approving of it: "If my wife wants to, she can." 」

I blushed a little, and after thanking the doctor, I took Song Shen's hand and walked out.

He was trying to overcome the mental barrier, and after I got pregnant, he wouldn't let me drive.

Merge onto the main road and stop at the traffic lights.

I turned my head to look at him.

The years seemed to be very tolerant of him, and he was two years older than me, but he was as young and handsome as when I first met him.

Song Shen noticed my gaze and remained silent: "What's wrong?"

I grinned, "Handsome guy, can you give me a contact information?"

He cooperated with me: "No, I already have a family. 」

It was just a simple conversation, but I couldn't help but laugh, leaning back in the chair, feeling warm all over.

If Zhou Xuan was here, he would definitely shout with hatred: "Ji Xiaoxiao, won't you be too easy to coax?"

But there was no way, Song Shen said something casually, and I was very happy.

It's like, I was born to love him.

The red light turns green and the vehicle continues to move forward.

It was as if there had been some kind of traffic accident ahead, with two cars next to each other and the owner smoking on the sidewalk.

Probably waiting for the traffic police?

I didn't think much of it, and pointed to the right, "Is it possible to turn?

That's when the change happened.

There were a few gunshots, and before I could react, I noticed that the front windshield was shattered.

Song Shen's face was cold, his hand was holding the steering wheel, and his muscles were bursting up.

He tilted his head and said, "Sit down," and the car swerved sharply and the engine roared.

I grabbed the handrail and looked out the window in a panic, and saw that the two car owners who were smoking had lost their cigarettes and had guns in their hands.

This is a downtown area, and there are people shooting.

There was a commotion and screams, the crowd scattered and ran away, and someone could be heard crying, "Hey, police, someone is shooting here......

For some reason, I'm pretty sure that these two people are coming for Song Shen.

I was trembling all over, took out my phone from my bag, and called Uncle Yuan.

嘟——嘟——嘟——

It's just a few seconds, and it's as long as a century.

When one of them stepped into the car, the car, which had looked badly scratched, immediately started and followed our route and caught up.

The other stood still, squinting and raising his gun.

Uncle Yuan's voice finally came, "Hey, Xiaoxiao?"

The phone has been dropped.

I pounced on him and hugged Song Shen.

Bang –

The bullet passed through my back, the pain was surging, and my lower abdomen felt an indescribable fall, and I gasped for breath.

The pain overwhelmed everything, I wanted to close my eyes, but I couldn't, big tears fell down, my heart warmed for a moment, and became cold again in an instant.

Song Shen hugged me tightly, and I saw blood on his neck.

I tried to see him, but luckily, there was no wound on his body, just my blood.

He bandaged my shoulders with his clothes, and I had never seen him so flustered, his hands shaking.

A steady stream of blood poured out, soaking his fingertips.

54

There was another roar of the car, and then the rear of the car was hit, and the whole car slid forward with a violent and piercing grinding sound.

The continuous impact seems to kill us.

Song Shen reached out and touched my face, and said in a dumb voice: "Xiaoxiao, when I come back, you must wait for me." 」

He let go of my hand, his expression instantly grim, and he took a gun from behind his waist and opened the car door with a clatter.

I threw my head back on the co-pilot, a sharp pain that spread from my back to my whole body, as if a knife had cut me open, from top to bottom, as if Ling Chi.

A few gunshots rang out, and the world seemed to fall silent.

Then there was the sound of sirens whistling.

In the mobile phone that fell to the ground, Uncle Yuan kept asking, "Xiaoxiao, Xiaoxiao, what's wrong with you, what's wrong?"

But I was powerless to answer.

My whole body was so cold, I felt pain in my lower abdomen, and white light flashed in front of my eyes.

I can't see anything, I'm so cold......

When I woke up, I was in an ambulance.

My mouth and nose were covered with oxygen masks, and Song Shen was covered in blood, kneeling beside me, holding me with both hands, his face was terrifyingly white.

Thankfully, he seemed fine.

I blinked, only to find that I couldn't speak at all, my whole body ached, and my bones seemed to be crushed inch by inch.

"Don't die, Xiaoxiao, please, don't die. He trembled, and his cheek pressed against mine.

I felt a little warmth on my face, and I struggled to look at it.

It turned out to be Song Shen's tears.

It dripped on my face, but it seemed to hit my heart.

The pain in my back and even in my lower abdomen suddenly stopped hurting, and I trembled and tried to raise my hand and tell him not to cry.

I can't lift it up, and I can't speak.

God, I just want to talk to him, can't that?

God, I'm so tired, so cold, no, I don't close my eyes, let me talk to him......

What instrument made a sharp sound, and the doctors and nurses all gathered around.

Song Shen kept whispering in my ear, "Don't sleep, Xiaoxiao, don't sleep. 」

I struggled to shake my head, my fingers finally reaching his cheek.

He shuddered and pressed my finger to his face, his voice shaking.

"Don't you sleep, I'll tell you a story, okay? Once the boss suspected that there was an inner ghost among us, and left us to fend for ourselves in the mountains. At that time, I was hit in the leg by a stray bullet, and a wolf came at night smelling the smell, and I couldn't run, and I wanted to give up. In hallucinations, I heard you crying. I thought that you were still waiting for me, so I hit the last bullet on the wolf and crawled back to the highway little by little. 」

He choked up, his eyes frighteningly red: "Xiaoxiao, don't leave me. If you're gone, I won't be able to live. 」

The pain slowly became intangible, and I wiped away his tears with my hand.

As soon as he opened his mouth, blood gushed out, and he didn't know if he could hear it.

"Don't cry, Song Shen. In the next life, I will come to you. 」

Coughing violently, pouring out of breath violently, and slowly losing focus in his eyes.

Song Shen hugged me tightly and cried like a child, tearing his heart.

Darkness poured in, engulfing everything.

All the senses are losing their function.

In the chaos of time and space, I went back to the autumn of when I was 18 years old.

I poked my head out of the car window and saw the cold boy holding an umbrella in the drizzling autumn rain, walking away alone.

The car was moving forward, and he was moving backwards.

This life is long and short, and I am fortunate to have rubbed shoulders with him and spend the day and night together, which is also lucky.

....

There was once a person whom I loved more than life.

I made a wish to the Buddha and asked him for peace, even if it was in exchange for mine.

I didn't lose money on this deal.

Song Shen, I love you, I love you very, very much.

[Zhou Xuan's extra: Xiaoxiao rain break]

1

When I received Song Shen's call, I was pouring water to drink.

I don't know when the cup in my hand hit the ground, my mother came out after the sound, saw it, and was startled: "Zhou Xuan, what are you doing?

I grabbed my coat and left.

Xiaoxiao is rescuing, she is actually rescuing.

On the phone, I asked, "Is it a difficult birth?"

Song Shen's voice was painful: "No...... I hurt her. 」

I caught the fastest high-speed train and took a taxi directly to the hospital when I arrived at the station.

The driver asked me, "Is there anyone in the hospital?"

I put my forehead against the glass and replied, "It's my good sister." 」

Wait for me, stay alive, Xiaoxiao.

There were too many people in the elevator room, and I ran up from the fire escape.

10th floor, 10th floor.

When he pushed open the door and rushed out, he saw Song Shen covered in blood, standing outside the rescue room, lost and motionless.

There were also two heavily armed policemen standing beside him, vigilantly guarding him.

I ran to it, and the gun was pointed at me mercilessly.

I was about to be frightened until my legs went weak, but Song Shen slowly turned his head and said in a dumb voice, "This is my wife's friend. 」

So the muzzle of the gun was lowered.

I didn't dare to speak out loud, so I asked him softly, "What happened?"

Mi was in a trance and said, "It's a drug dealer. Their target was me, and Xiaoxiao blocked the bullet for me. 」

Tears slipped from the corners of his eyes, and he trembled, covered his face with his hands, and stopped talking.

I gripped the armrest of my chair and felt like my internal organs were churning.

The lights in the rescue room went out.

The door opens.

The doctor came out of the transfer bed, which was covered with a white cloth.

1

I covered my mouth, and big tears welled up and dripped down my fingers.

The doctor said, "The bullet passed through the large arteries, the patient lost a lot of blood and suffered multi-organ failure. By the time it arrived, the fetus had already suffocated in the mother's womb...... Condolences. 」

Song Shen shook his whole body and stretched out his hand to uncover the white cloth.

Xiaoxiao closed her eyes, as if she was asleep.

He leaned over and kissed her on the forehead.

A tear slid down his blood-stained face and dripped on Xiaoxiao's white face.

Song Shen wiped his hands clean, and wiped away the tears little by little very seriously and patiently.

I bit my lip to keep myself from crying.

2

On the day of Xiaoxiao's funeral, I took a leave of absence, took what she left with me, and went to Nanjing again.

In that posthumous photo, she smiled so beautifully, heartlessly, like I just met her.

In the mourning hall, Xiaoxiao's mother cried so much that her heart and gall were broken, and Xiaoxiao's friends before her death came, holding back her tears and persuading her aunt to mourn.

Song Shen stood in the most corner, dressed in black, the whole person was much thinner, his face was pale, staring at her portrait, motionless, like a shadow.

I walked over and handed him Xiaoxiao's things.

He glanced at the little box slowly and asked, "What is this?"

I said, "It's the letter she put here when Xiaoxiao was at the height of her depression. I didn't open it and read it, she only said that if one day she didn't hold back and committed suicide, she hoped that I would burn it all to you. 」

Song Shen took it, raised his head, closed his eyes, and said in a dumb voice, "Thank you. 」

I shook my head, but I couldn't hold back, but I said, "She loves you the most, you must take care of yourself." 」

He smiled briefly and said, "Yes, I am what she loves the most. 」

3

After the funeral, I lost news of Song Shen.

I only heard that he gave all his property to Xiaoxiao's parents, and then, nowhere to be found.

The restaurant's TV broadcast the news that a few days ago, someone robbed at gunpoint in downtown Nanjing, and a woman was unfortunately killed.

In the process, a number of Nanjing citizens acted bravely and drove to prevent the criminals from taking further action, which was commended by the municipal government.

My colleague asked me, "Zhou Xuan, why are you crying?"

I reached out to wipe away my tears: "Let's cry. The chili peppers in this shop are too spicy, you should eat less, haha. 」

My colleague looked at me suspiciously, then at the news, and said, "The robbers are really arrogant these days, but have you heard of it, it seems that there was a policeman among the passers-by, and he shot the two criminals on the spot. 」

Tears fell down my eyes again, and I said casually, "Yes? 」

The colleague picked up the food and said casually, "If you want me to say, there should be more policemen like this, and see if those bad guys are still tough." 」

After a pause, she added, "But to be honest, the family of a police officer these years is too scary. Alas, my aunt introduced me to the police a few days ago, but I refused, I don't have that big heart. 」

My tears were in my throat and I gulped down water to cover it up.

The water choked on my throat, and I covered my face with a piece of paper, finally having a reason to cry out loud.

My colleague was frightened and hurriedly patted me on the back: "Zhou Xuan, are you okay?"

I'm fine, it's just that in this after-dinner discussion, I lost a friend who was like a sister.

She was closest to happiness when she ushered in death.

God, you're such a bastard.

[Song Shen Fanwai: Dream Day and Night]

1

When he was six years old, Song Shen saw a fire.

Although everyone around him said he hadn't seen it, the fire burned in his mind.

So much so that more than ten years later, the ashes of that fire were still fluttering and falling in his life.

In that fire, he lost his parents.

It was his birthday, and he was still waiting for his parents to come back from a long business trip.

Okay, they'll bring him an Ultraman cake.

But they broke their promise, and they never came back.

From then on, Song Shen never had a birthday.

When he was eighteen years old, he filled in the college entrance examination volunteers, and when he came down in a row, he filled in all the police academies.

Yuen Kwok-ming stopped talking and persuaded him, "You can choose your favorite major. 」

For the orphans of martyrs, the state always has some preferential treatment.

Song Shen replied, "This is my favorite major. 」

Since more than a decade ago, this has been his only professional goal.

Yuan Guoming said, "Then when you get to college, you can start falling in love. I heard from your homeroom teacher that there are many people in your high school class and the class next door, including your senior sisters and sisters, who have a crush on you. 」

Song Shen smiled and did not speak.

Yuan Guoming's expression finally became serious: "Tuo Da said, I treat you as half a son. I want you to have a healthy, happy life instead of living in the past all the time. 」

Song Shen nodded, submitted the volunteer, closed the computer, and replied, "Okay, I will." 」

Then he picked up his coat and said, "I'm going to play first." 」

Brought the door and left.

Yuan Guoming looked at his back as he left and sighed.

Song Shen's answer was just to make him happy, how could he not see it.

2

In the police academy, Song Shen is the one who learns the most seriously.

He has good physical fitness, coupled with his willingness to endure hardships and study, and he has learned everything first.

Lao Li felt that he had found a good seedling, so he called his comrades-in-arms in Song Shen's place of residence to do a good job.

I want to know about the child's family situation, and by the way, I left him in Beijing.

Beijing is good, Beijing has a good place to go, a glorious place to go, a place to give the whole family face.

The comrade-in-arms said, you have died of this heart, if he really wanted to live that kind of life, it would not have been your turn to accept him at the police academy.

Lao Li touched his nose, but he still didn't break this thought, and always wanted to persuade him again.

Young people, whose minds are uncertain, where will they die?

Song Shen is good-looking and has a calm personality, not only the elders like it, but the girls also like it.

The brothers were entrusted by others and asked about Song Shen's intentions, and he only said that he didn't plan to fall in love.

There are too important things in his life to leave him with little room for himself.

Most of his already thin emotions were reserved for that goal.

The remaining half is left in the dream, allowing him to return to the time before he was six years old and relive the warm moments with his parents over and over again. 1

The school girl came in one after another, and there were always fresh people who were curious to fold the kaolin flower.

Song Shen has always been point-to-point, cold and detached, and the girls are also interested, and gradually changed directions.

A good bird chooses a tree to perch on, and he becomes the loneliest branch in the treetops, and someone will always reach out to him, but he will never be able to take it away.

3

Before Ji Xiaoxiao appeared, Song Shen didn't believe in the so-called "fate".

He is an atheist.

When he was suddenly stopped that day, Song Shen couldn't quite remember what this girl's name was.

Is the surname Zhang or the surname Jilai?

Just caught a glimpse of it when signing at the police station.

Song Shen declined her invitation, but noticed her eyes that instantly dimmed.

Maybe it was because it happened to be his birthday that day, and her expression from anticipation to loss was too familiar, which reminded Song Shen of himself when he was six years old.

So he made a detour of refusal, and when he said it again, he asked, "Would you like coffee?"

The buddy slammed his elbow into him: "It's not easy, the iron tree is blooming, this is?"

Song Shen felt that it was not the love between men and women, and if he had to describe it, it was more like opening a can of cat food for a kitten he met on the side of the road.

I can't bear it.

So when she stammered and expressed her heart, Song Shen clearly told her that she would never fall in love in her life, nor would she get married and have children.

Find someone else, like the girls who were interested in him.

After a long time, Song Shen had almost forgotten the girl named Ji Xiaoxiao.

He ran into her again, on the subway.

In the crowd, she obviously didn't notice him, and she was listless.

But that's how she was, when she saw a groping pig hand, she was the first to jump up and scold, protecting the other girl behind her.

How funny, she is actually not as tall as the girl who was protected, and her hands were shaking during the confrontation, but she didn't take a step back.

Song Shen called the subway police, and the subway police quickly transferred them to the next station.

The silence in the carriage returned, Ji Xiaoxiao retracted again, continued to hang his head, and continued to be listless.

Song Shen suddenly felt very interesting.

4

During the night chat in the dormitory, it was agreed that a man's love for a woman begins with pity and curiosity.

Many years later, when Song Shen was asked by Ji Xiaoxiao why he allowed her to be an "accident" in his life, somehow, he remembered this sentence.

Pity and curiosity.

When you see her, you can't bear to refuse, you will be soft-hearted, and you will want to protect her.

Although he was still hesitant, worried that he would hurt her, she had already sworn and said, "As long as it lasts. 」

Later, things developed too fast, and Song Shen never dared to let himself love her.

He had struggled with whether he should clearly express his heart and be like her, unreservedly, to show all his love.

But many years later, when the fate of the Sino-Vietnamese border hangs by a thread, Song Shen is always very happy.

The less love he ever showed, the easier it was for her to pull away now, wasn't she?

Song Shen began to dream again.

In the dream, there were not only young parents, but also her squatting in the bathroom, crying quietly.

Song Shen remembered how Xiaoxiao prayed to him on the day of the breakup, he could not have any contact, he just wanted to know that he was still alive.

And he replaced the answer with silence.

Later, he is about to go on an extremely dangerous mission, and the risks of exposure are great.

Before leaving, Song Shen entrusted his upline and knocked down the scheduled email.

He didn't leave a suicide note for anyone, he just wanted Xiaoxiao to think that he was still living safely in some corner of the world.

She was very crying, and he didn't want her to cry.

After that, there are only shadows left in my mind.

The psychiatrist invited by the provincial department told Song Shen that it was the self-protection mechanism of the human brain.

The most brutal memories of deboning, flesh cutting, and beheading were all filtered out, and in the end there were still traces of real feeling, left on his young and scarred body.

The treatment was not over yet, and Song Shen heard that Ji Xiaoxiao was going to get married.

He rushed to Beijing overnight.

When he really stood at the door of the hotel and saw the photo of her holding the groom's arm and smiling, he couldn't help but ask himself: Song Shen, what's the point of you coming?

However, his legs walked uncontrollably towards the banquet hall.

At the check-in counter, a girl with a round face looked at him with a smile.

Song Shen saw a pile of gift money in her hand, so she reacted, and immediately walked out of the hotel and went to the nearest ATM to withdraw money.

The card he carried with him only had 100,000 in it, so he took out 100,000.

The round-faced girl was stunned, took the pen in her hand, and asked him what his name was.

Song Shen was silent for a long time, smiled, and said, "You don't need to write your name, I'll just go in and sit down." 」

He found the most remote corner and sat down, surrounded by relatives and friends of the groom, who were talking about this pair of talented women, which was really suitable.

He listened silently, piecing together what he had missed, her years.

She went to study in Switzerland, and her supervisor admired her very much and wanted to keep her for a doctorate.

But she said that she wanted to return to China as soon as possible, so she returned to Beijing and found a job near her undergraduate school.

They talked about the bride being too thin, and another laughed and said, "Let Ah He make more delicious food and give her more weight." 」

Song Shen suddenly felt that there was no need for him to stay.

He poured a glass of wine and raised his glass to the newcomers who had sworn to each other on the stage.

After escaping from the border, his eyesight deteriorated dramatically and he was awaiting surgery.

So he didn't see it, and the bride on the stage was suddenly stunned and burst into tears.

Relatives and friends at the same table are still hotly discussing, speculating whether the bride is willing to have a second child, and whether the child will be brought by grandma or grandmother.

Song Shen put down the wine glass, got up and left.

At the age of 21, he made a birthday wish.

He wants his girl to be happy.

It's great that this wish has come true today.

5

The phone call from Yunnan shook his mobile phone and tried to persuade him to go back for treatment as soon as possible.

His internal organs, bones, eyes, and ears all needed lengthy treatment.

He turned off his phone and tossed his phone aside.

When he heard the barking of the dog, Song Shen was packing his suitcase back.

He wondered if he had heard it wrong, and there seemed to be a familiar cry between the barking of dogs.

But he felt that it was his own auditory hallucination, because countless times when he was struggling on the boundary between life and death, he often heard her crying.

A very quiet, very weak, cat-like cry that told him not to die.

And now, the owner of this voice should still be wearing a beautiful wedding dress and receiving the blessings of relatives and friends.

But in the dark, there seemed to be a force that forced him to put down the clothes in his hands, open the door, and walk out.

Then, Song Shen saw her.

The bride, who should have been radiant, was curled up in the corner, her hands covering her head.

It's like that winter night many years ago, when the whole person shrunk into a small ball.

His ears felt like they had been hammered through, and his world was buzzing and trembling.

Song Shen hugged her.

Her eyes were so full of tears that she didn't notice that the eyes he had covered with the brim of his hat were already flushed at the first sight of her.

They hug, kiss.

Instinct told him that he missed this girl very much, very, very much

However, her hand touched the scar on his chest, and he suddenly came to his senses—

He was a man whose half foot was pulled by the devil in hell.

And she, this is her wedding, she has her husband, and she will have a happy and stable second half of her life.

Song Shen pushed her away, sat up, and slapped himself hard.

6

He has always believed that Xiaoxiao is a gift from God.

Otherwise, there is no way to explain why he is only attracted to her, nor can it explain where her constant waiting and love for him comes from.

The misunderstanding was resolved, and the picture of life that he had never imagined was held in front of him by her own hands.

In a small home, there are cats, potted plants, and sunshine.

On top of that, there is her.

Whether it's the way she woke up in the morning with fluffy hair and didn't wake up, or the coquettish and playful appearance that she gradually recovered, it was very cute.

He can't help but smile when he thinks about it when he walks on the road.

Lost and regained is the biggest surprise of God.

Just like what the man's relatives and friends said at the banquet, Xiaoxiao is indeed too thin.

Song Shen changed his tricks to cook for Xiaoxiao, only hoping to compensate her for what he missed.

While cleaning his room, he discovers the medicine she uses to stabilize his mood and ease his sleep.

But she didn't tell him, and he pretended not to find out.

It's just that late at night, when she calls his name in tears in her dreams, Song Shen will think of those medicines.

Remind him over and over again how she suffered and suffered during the two years he "died".

He never told her that if she hadn't stopped him that day at the B&B, he would have completely disappeared into the crowd.

Because before meeting her, Song Shen arranged the ending for himself to die together.

What sustained him from hell was her love.

He had no future planned for himself, except for her.

Song Shen's life is divided by 28 years old.

Before the age of 28, he lived to dismantle the drug cartel.

After the age of 28, he lived for the girl who fished him out of the abyss.

But God played a cruel joke.

This is about the closest moment in Song Shen's life, he and her have a home and a stable job.

The baby who is about to be born has already been sent by the godmother and grandfather to the safety buckle and longevity lock.

All kinds of prenatal education music and videos are played at home in all directions.

As Xiaoxiao walked, she would suddenly lower her head and talk to the baby in her belly.

"Baby, you really want to eat ice cream, don't you? But Daddy won't let you, what should I do?"

He laughed, and had to give in to the noble pregnant woman, and buy a box of ice cream in the winter for her to take a small bite.

It seems that all that money, violence, and blood are far away from his life.

He was infected by Xiaoxiao and began to imagine the life of a family of three.

Xiaoxiao happily bought cotton cloth to do needlework, and felt troublesome halfway through, and it was Song Shen who picked up the needle and thread and sewed a small dress one by one.

Xiaoxiao woke up the next day, looked at the clothes and marveled, all kinds of coquettishness, and asked him to make two more for adults.

"This is our family of three, unique in the world, super cool, okay?"

So the hands that were used to holding pistols and daggers had to fight at night to sew the set of parent-child outfits that were said to be "hiding the love of the father, and the baby will definitely like it".

At such times, there is always a little cunning hidden in Xiaoxiao's crooked smiling eyes.

But he was willing to eat it.

Later, at her grave, he burned all three beautiful clothes of different sizes.

Together with Xiaoxiao's relics handed over by Zhou Xuan, her tear-stained love letters, and a photo of him with her.

Burn it to Xiaoxiao, burn it to the children who have never met, and, burn it to himself in advance.

They will soon be reunited, he is sure.

Just as he couldn't recall the details of his suffering, Song Shen couldn't fully remember what happened that night when the gunshots rang out.

He asked the psychiatrist, "Is there a way to recall it all?"

The psychiatrist said, "It's the brain protecting itself, and if you try to force your memory, it will damage you. 」

He said, "It's all right, I have to remember. 」

The psychiatrist was puzzled.

I saw this thin man smiling out the window, and the smile was extremely sad.

He said, "That was the last image she left me, and I had to remember it."

The psychiatrist didn't know if he finally recalled every detail, but she knew that if the man named Song Shen recalled the images of his wife's death over and over again, he would inevitably fall into a long and inextricable pain.

Song Shen stopped treatment and never returned.

The last person who had an impression of Song Shen should be the administrator of a cemetery in Nanjing.

If it is not a festival or a festival, the cemetery has few visitors.

It rained so hard that there was no one to visit.

The administrator listened to the radio and fell asleep.

Then the glass was knocked.

He saw a young man standing in the doorway, holding a black umbrella, his trousers soaking wet.

The administrator hurriedly asked him to come in and register.

He noticed that this young man named Song Shen was coming with a box of cakes, so he asked more, "Is it your family's birthday today?"

The young man smiled and said, "Today is my wife's birthday. 」

He was smiling, but the Administrator felt that he had said something wrong.

It just so happened that there was a drama on the radio, singing the Peony Pavilion.

Tactfully and leisurely, the song is: Those who are born and cannot be killed, and those who are dead and cannot be resurrected are not lovely.

The young man stood still, as if caught up in some memory, and remembered for a long time to put down his pen.

"I'll go first. He said.

The caretaker walked to the door and watched as he sank into the pouring rain.

Between heaven and earth, between mountains and mountains, it seems that there is only such a back as him.

The administrator couldn't help but think about the song he heard in the seventies and eighties, how were the lyrics written?

Oh, remembered.

千山我独行,不必相送。