Ever since I was a child, I have always been the jewel of my family. My father left us due to illness when I was very young, leaving behind my elderly mother and a younger brother who was still in school. In order for my younger brother and I to successfully complete our studies, my mother worked hard and worked hard. I know my mother's hard work, so I have never let her down, Xi I have studied hard, worked hard, and hoped that one day I can make my mother and younger brother live a good life.
My mother always dreamed of having a house of her own and a car of her own. Every time she mentioned it, her face was full of anticipation and excitement. Seeing my mother like that, I also made up my mind to make this dream a reality.
When I was 20 years old, my mother finally saved up enough for a down payment on a house. And I also got a job with a company that paid well. With my mother's help, I bought my first car, and my mother's dream was finally realized, and our family was very happy.
However, in the midst of this happiness, something happened that changed my outlook on life. Before the Chinese New Year that year, I received a guest who was very wealthy and paid me very well. It just happened to help me solve some of the family's emergency expenses, so I didn't think much about it and just agreed.
However, things turned out far beyond my expectations. I was a little tired of picking up more and more customers, but I couldn't take a break from the needs of my family. In this way, this life lasted for a whole ten years, and I have been living under this kind of work against my will for the family's house and car, and for my brother's tuition and living expenses.
Just before the Chinese New Year, I received a guest, and I haven't been in that place since. My mother and brother couldn't find me, and I just disappeared. Became one of the missing members of the city.
It's always been for my family. I am a kind person and firmly believe that everything will be fine. Wandering in the city for a long time, the hardships of life have taught me to be strong. However, ten years of oblivion made me lose myself. I am deeply aware of the mistakes I have made, and I feel deep guilt and remorse. I didn't want to run away forever, I wanted to go home and tell my mother and brother everything. However, I was also scared of the mistakes I had made because I was afraid that they would be disappointed because of me.
Contradictions and inner struggles kept me awake. I'm always thinking about how I should face the future and my family. There's a long way to go, but I don't know what to do. At this moment, the ringing of my phone broke my musings. It was my brother calling, and I felt an indescribable sense of happiness and uneasiness in my heart.
"Sister, are you okay? Where are you? Mother has been looking for you, and she is worried about death. The younger brother's voice was full of worry.
"Brother, I know I'm wrong, but do you believe that my sister has been working hard for us?" I said with difficulty.
"I don't know, neither does my mother, but she has been crying for you and praying for you. The younger brother's voice began to tremble.
I feel extremely distressed, I have been working hard for them all along, and I have not thought about my physical and mental health. I'm sorry, mother, I'm sorry, brother.
"Brother, I will come back, and I will definitely apologize to my mother and you. I made an appointment with my brother to meet.
Today is my mother's birthday, and it's the day I want to see her the most. I came home early to surprise her. The moment I opened the door, I saw the haggard face of my mother, who had aged a lot in the ten years she had worked for me. When she saw me, her eyes immediately turned red, and she wiped away her tears and asked eagerly, "Where have you been, why didn't you tell me?"
"I'm sorry, Mom, I'm sorry. I kept my head down, unable to look my mother in the eye.
"It's been 10 years...... Why are you doing this? and for what?" The mother's voice was mixed with endless pain, and her hands trembled uncontrollably.
"Mom, it's for you, for my brother, for us to live a better life. My tears flowed uncontrollably, and I couldn't help myself from the torment in my heart.
"We don't need that kind of life. My mother's voice was unusually cold, an expression I had never seen before.
"Mom, I'm sorry......" I don't know how to express my apologies.
The mother sighed heavily: "Ten years, what a long time for a girl. What did you sacrifice your youth for? What does a house and a car represent? I only hope that you can live a healthy and happy life, and this is my greatest wish. ”
I was pricked by my mother's words, and I understood that my mother didn't need this, she just wanted me to be happy and healthy.
"For the time being, you can go back to live first, and wait for my brother and I to discuss it well. The mother's voice was not as cold as it had been before.
I nodded silently, knowing that the pain would not go away in an instant, and that I needed time to make up for the broken relationship. At least, I saw my mother's love for me and her care for me. She never gave up on me, and I will change for her and my brother.
My mother and brother were very anxious about my disappearance, and they searched for me but there was no sign of me. After my disappearance, my mother began to become restless, worrying day and night about my safety. The younger brother became more reticent and his grades began to plummet.
On the other hand, I did not get out of my predicament after my disappearance, but found myself in a more difficult and dangerous situation. My heart was struggling, and I began to doubt my life choices, which were far from my original ideals. I began to reflect on my actions and felt guilty and helpless.
In the midst of this struggle, one day I received a strange phone call. I was shocked and confused when they claimed to know what happened to me after my disappearance and wanted to help me, unsure whether to take their word for it. But I also feel a glimmer of hope that maybe this is my chance to get out of this situation.
Next......
After I hid for many days, my mother and brother finally found me. I was really shocked by their arrival, and I didn't want them to find me, let alone see my humble appearance. However, when I looked into my mother's eyes, I couldn't hide the guilt in my heart.
"Child, how could you do such a thing? Do you know how worried we are about you?" the mother's voice was filled with endless pain and sorrow.
I couldn't speak in the face of my mother's questioning, and tears blurred my eyes. I knew I was wrong, but I just wanted to have a better life for my family. I didn't want to let this life continue, but I couldn't break free, and everything fell into an endless abyss.
Back at home, my mother insisted that I continue to return to the chaotic family. She said we can face it together and get through it together. But I found that I didn't have the strength I once had. I was just afraid of being scolded by the people around me, and I was afraid of the sneering eyes.
The argument continued in the family for a while, and the mother's words were filled with tears. My brother had always been on my mother's side, blaming me for betraying my family, and I knew he was out of concern, but his words hit me hard.
I tried to explain to them my inner powerlessness and suffering, but they couldn't seem to understand it, and the gap between us seemed to be getting farther and farther. I don't know how long I'll be able to face them, but I can't bear to leave this once warm home.
For a long time, my disappearance became a concern for my family. My mother worries about my whereabouts every day, and my younger brother, who has grown up, has begun to try to find my whereabouts. I know that the pain caused by the disappearance of my family has also cut my heart.
Ten years later, I still hold on to my dream of being a family, but I can't calm down anymore. Every time I think of the sinking of the past ten years, my heart will be extremely tormented. I knew I had made an unforgivable mistake, but I couldn't face it. It was then that an unexpected opportunity opened my eyes to the true face of my own sinking.
I was working outside the home, and because of the bus delay, I missed my time home, so I had to wait at a nearby coffee shop. I sat in the corner, a cup of coffee cooled in my hand, facing the bustling crowd outside the window, but my heart was empty. Just then, a familiar figure walked into the coffee shop, the former customer. He sat across from me, looking at me with a wrinkled smile.
"It's been a long time, are you okay?" and there was a hint of familiarity in his voice, and I couldn't look up at him.
"You...... How could you be here?" I stammered.
He smiled and then told me that he was my mother's boss for over a decade. When I left, he recalled that I often mentioned that my family was struggling financially, and that in desperation, he found my mother and helped her through that difficult time.
Hearing his words, I finally understood that what I had done not only hurt my family, but also put my mother in chains. My heart is like a knife, the money may have given my family some short-term wealth, but the loss caused by this transaction is so heavy. I was ashamed, tears in my eyes blurring my vision. I didn't dare to face the still smiling guest, I was afraid to see his sympathy and mockery.
But how do I face my family, how do I redeem my mistakes, how do I ask for forgiveness? The whole world laughs at me, hating me for ten years of evasion and betrayal. I know that I am all self-inflicted, and I can't complain about others, I can't resist the ordeal of these shames. It's all my own making.
I was standing on the streets of a strange city with a heavy heart. For 10 years, I have been living a double life and suffering a great deal of suffering. Whenever I think that I have compromised my dreams and dignity for the sake of my family, I feel indescribable pain in my heart. However, my unexpected disappearance stemmed from conflicts within my family. My mother was devastated by my disappearance, while my brother condemned me and even began to suspect what I had done. I knew that the pain I was left behind was not only from the humiliation and reluctance, but also from the inability to reconcile with my loved ones. It was as if I had become a ghost in their hearts, and the helplessness and guilt in my heart became more and more unforgettable. Now that I have been living in a foreign country for a long time, it may be time to return to my hometown, face those chaotic family relationships, and let go of the confusion and entanglements of the past, only in this way can I find a real outlet in the depths of my heart and reconcile the torment of my soul at this moment. So I set out on my way home, and maybe, that would be a new beginning, or maybe the beginning of another storm.