Dictation|Liu Long
Editor|Lao Yu
Hello everyone, I am Liu Long and I am 62 years old.
Last week, I took the time to go to the county town to buy some clothes for my grandson to wear in the winter, and then go to visit relatives.
Because I haven't left my relatives for many years, as the eldest brother in the family, I should do this ceremony.
In the past, my father was still there, and he cared most about the whole family, not only a few of our own brothers and sisters, but also some uncles and brothers and sisters.
My father often said that there is great strength in numbers, and relatives and clans must be united and come and move around often, so that they will be close.
Before my father left, he often worried that if he left, the family would be scattered.
In this regard, he often told me, saying that I am the eldest brother, and I must take the lead and take the initiative to maintain the relationship between brothers and sisters.
I followed my father's advice, and I did so this winter.
But after leaving a lot of relatives, I regretted it a little, and even a little sad.
For my personal feelings, I would like to share my views with you.
That is, when going to relatives, try to avoid these three types of relatives, because if you don't get it right, not only will you not be in touch with your feelings, but you will also be easily disliked.
Category 1: Distant relatives
In our hometown, there is a saying that is good, called "one generation of relatives, two represents, three generations can not be reasoned." ”
It is to the effect that the relatives of the third generation are not close to each other, or even do not know each other.
I remember having an uncle's grandson, who was of the same generation as me.
When we were children, we used to fight with each other in the fields, chase each other, go up the mountains and down the river, and go anywhere.
It's just that when I grew up, I stayed in my hometown to farm, and he went to the county to teach, and the number of times we met in the future left.
Ever since my uncle and my grandfather left, we've only seen each other on some happy occasions.
And in the end, it's hard to see him, and the last time I saw him, it seems like 7 years ago.
So this time I thought about it, I came to the county seat, so I went to his house to have a look, carry some things, and reminisce about my childhood.
When I walked to his house with the gift, I found that he had just left the gate of the community.
He and his wife, as well as two grandchildren.
From afar, I recognized him at a glance, he was tall and thin, and he was easily recognized.
But when I approached and called him "Ah Liang", he was obviously stunned for a moment.
Ah Liang looked at me and didn't react for a while, until I said I was Liu Long, he reacted and said, "Oh, it's Liu Long." ”
Then Ah Liang said: What's the matter, Brother Long, why did you come to our community, do you have any relatives in our community?
Frankly speaking, Ah Liang's words interrupted my thoughts for a moment.
"Do you have any relatives in our community?"
Ah Liang's words were not malicious, maybe he really wanted to ask.
But I think, in his heart, am I not his relative?
I was embarrassed to say that I came to visit him, because Ah Liang said for five minutes, but he didn't say anything, "Go to my house and sit down, drink tea or something." ”
I had to quip that I was in the wrong place, it shouldn't be this.
In the end, Ah Liang said: Oh, then you go to relatives first, I'll take my two grandchildren to play, and we'll talk when I'm free.
Until the end, Ah Liang didn't say to go to his house, and he didn't even leave a phone number.
If you have time to talk about four more words, it's just a casual remark.
This was the first place I went to.
Category 2: Relatively wealthy relatives
Ah Liang and I are far away, and we haven't seen each other for many years, and I can understand Ah Liang's coldness.
But in the face of my own sister, I also had a look of disdain, but I felt sad.
After going to Ah Liang's house failed, I chose to go to my sister's house.
My brother-in-law is very good at making money, and he is more famous in our whole extended family, and even in their township.
Now my sister and brother-in-law live in a fairly upscale community in the county.
I carried my things to the neighborhood in front of my sister's house, and then dialed his phone.
My sister was surprised when she knew that I was at the gate of the community, and after a while of silence, I asked me to wait for her at the gate of the community, and she would come to pick me up.
I said it was a while, but I had been waiting at the gate of the community for half an hour.
Half an hour later, my sister slowly came to pick me up, and when she saw me, she called out brother.
I followed my sister, then got into the elevator and arrived at her door.
As soon as she entered the door, my sister seemed to remember something, and then immediately turned around and said, "Brother, stop, stop, don't come in yet, I'll get you a pair of slippers." ”
I stood there awkwardly, watching my sister look for slippers one by one, as if none of them were.
妹妹是嫌弃我脚脏，怕我弄脏鞋。
In the end, my sister said helplessly, brother, don't change your shoes, this shoe cover is for you, you can come in with a shoe cover.
When I entered my sister's house, everything made me feel uncomfortable.
I had just put my things down when my sister came over and saw that it was a carton of milk.
After that, he said: Brother, take this milk back in a while, our family doesn't drink domestic milk now, we all drink imported milk, and then I looked at the corner of my sister's house.
I found that there was indeed a lot of food and drink, and the packaging box was very exquisite, and it was piled up like a hill.
When I just sat down on the sofa, I felt tired, just leaning on the sofa, my sister looked sharply, I immediately subconsciously got up, and then sat in a regular manner, and only dared to sit halfway.
After a while, my brother-in-law came out and poured me a cup of tea.
It stands to reason that there is a tea set on the coffee table, and out of politeness, it is good to have guests come to make kung fu tea, but my brother-in-law took a disposable cup at random, filled it with some tea and brought it to me.
After chatting for a few words, the brother-in-law thought that something was wrong, and then went back to the room.
Until half past ten in the morning, my brother-in-law did not come out again, and then my sister also walked into the room and did not come out until 11 o'clock.
This time is very embarrassing, it's time to eat soon, the host didn't leave you to eat, and it was time for you to leave.
I got up and told my sister that I was leaving.
My sister said, "Let's go, just have lunch and then leave."
My sister didn't mean anything to say this, I knew it was a polite word, but I still gave her a step.
I said, "At noon, someone else has a dinner, and I want to go first."
When I left, my sister gave me back the milk I had brought and said that it was better to keep it for herself, because they didn't like to drink it, so it was useless to keep it.
When I left my sister's house and looked at the carton of milk in my hand, I couldn't help but smile bitterly.
I found a random noodle shop, ate a bowl of noodles, and sat alone in the park for three hours until three o'clock in the afternoon, when I decided to go to my cousin's house.
Category 3: Relatives who have been reluctant to associate with you for a long time
My cousin is the son of my own uncle, or uncle, which is relatively close.
But my cousin has a Xi in the past ten years, that is, he does not interact with almost all relatives.
He doesn't participate in red and white ceremonies, and he never calls others if he has any happy events in his own family.
After all, my cousin hasn't been back to the village for a long time.
In general, my cousin is living a relatively poor life, and although he is in the county seat, he has always rented a house.
My family told me that if I invited my cousin to dinner, my cousin would not go because he was afraid that he would invite someone else.
If you give a gift to a cousin, the cousin often doesn't accept it because there is no money to give the gift in return.
At first, I thought that this must be what outsiders themselves think, poor to poor, but no one is so exaggerated.
I went to my cousin's house, got in touch with each other, sat down for a while, and left.
When I went to my cousin's house, my cousin and sister-in-law didn't seem to feel comfortable.
After a while, I said: Our house is quite messy, I hope you don't mind.
As soon as I asked them how they were doing, my cousin immediately said: It's difficult, it's too difficult, I haven't made any money in the past few years, and I still owe debts, and I don't want to ask others to borrow something.
I began to wonder if my cousin was too sensitive, and that he might think I was here to borrow money.
After that, he sat on the sofa at his cousin's house, talking with each other.
I can obviously feel that my cousin is very uncomfortable, and he doesn't want me to stay for a long time, but he just asks me to drink tea and doesn't talk much.
After a while, I got up and took my leave, and before leaving, my cousin must have asked me to bring back the carton of milk I had brought.
No matter how I stayed, my cousin had to shove it into my hands and insist that I take it.
I took it with me, and my cousin was relieved, and he didn't give me anything before he went home.
After saying goodbye to my cousin, I got on the bus home.
On the bus, I looked at the carton of milk in my hand and smiled helplessly.
A carton of milk, I went to see three relatives, and it turned out to be back in my hands, and no one wanted it.
Therefore, I decided that in the future, relatives should avoid the above three categories, so as not to make myself sad and others dislike me.
I don't know if you think I'm right?
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