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My daughter Xiaofang is in her second year of junior high school this year and is a lively and cheerful child. She has a classmate named Xiaolei, and the two of them have been good friends since elementary school, and often come and go between our house and Xiaolei's house. My husband and I are very open-minded and always encourage Xiaofang to make more friends. But an incident that happened in the last few days forced me to re-examine this friendship and suggested that it would be best for Xiaofang to distance herself from Xiaolei in the future.
After school last Friday, Xiaofang suddenly said to me, "Mom, Xiaolei is going to sleep at our house for two nights this weekend, is it okay?"
I was a little surprised, and quickly asked, "Why do you suddenly want to sleep at our house?
Xiaofang explained: "Some relatives from other places came to her house, and there was no room for Xiaolei to sleep, so she had to come to our house for two nights. She said that we live close anyway, and you want to come to us when you are home on the weekend. "
I didn't think there was anything wrong with two good friends getting together, so I said, "It's okay, it's only two days, it shouldn't be a problem." Does her mom and dad agree?"
"Agreed, I just called my aunt to tell her, and she thanked her and said that she had caused us trouble. Xiao Fang looked at me eagerly.
"Well, as long as Auntie agrees, that's fine. "I promised to come down.
Xiao Fang said happily: "Great, I'll go tell Xiao Lei!" Then she bounced back to her room, presumably to talk to Lei on the phone.
At around 8 o'clock that night, the doorbell rang suddenly, and when I opened the door, I saw that it was a grinning little lei carrying a large travel bag.
"Hello Auntie!" She greeted me.
I smiled and said, "Xiaolei is here, please come in." How did you get to this point?"
"I came over just after dinner, and my mom sent me here. Xiao Lei said shyly.
"Okay, come in quickly, Xiaofang must not be able to wait. I helped her lift the bag and led her to Xiaofang's room.
Hearing the movement, Xiao Fang hurriedly ran out and said happily: "Xiao Lei, you are finally here!
I left the two of them in the room and told them not to talk too late and go to the kitchen to prepare tomorrow's meal.
At about 10 o'clock in the evening, I went to sleep with the two of them, and they were so excited that they still sat together talking and laughing.
I knocked on the door and said, "Xiaofang, Xiaolei, it's not too early, you're almost talking, it's time to sleep!"
"Got it, Mom!" Xiao Fang shouted, but the two of them didn't seem to have the slightest intention of stopping chatting.
I shook my head helplessly: "Really, how can you girls talk so much." Don't make it too late, you'll have to wake up tomorrow. "
"Okay Mom, let's sleep!" Xiao Fang answered.
I went back to my room and thought to myself that my daughter was finally blessed to have such a good friend, so I didn't bother them anymore.
At about 2 o'clock in the middle of the night, I was awakened again by the sound of laughter and talking in my daughter's room. Oh my God, why haven't these two girls slept yet!
I had to get up, knock on the door and go in to stop them: "You two! What time is it and you haven't gone to bed! Lie down for me!"
"I'm sorry Mom!" Xiao Fang hurriedly pulled up the quilt, and Xiao Lei also ran into the quilt.
As I walked out, I said sternly, "I don't care what you talk about, anyway, go to bed now!
Xiao Fang hurriedly promised: "We know that we are wrong Mom, we will sleep immediately, don't worry!"
I was relieved to go back to my bedroom. It's nice to be young and to be able to talk like this. However, they still can't be allowed to stay up too late, their bodies are important.
After coming back from shopping, Xiaofang also got up and came to the table in a daze.
"Where's Xiaolei, why are you up alone?" I was a little surprised.
"Oh, Xiaolei's stomach is not very comfortable, I will let her sleep again. Xiao Fang tilted her head and said.
I was a little worried, "What's wrong with her? Did she stay up late last night?"
"Probably not, maybe I just ate something bad. She told me not to disturb her and let her sleep a little longer. Xiao Fang didn't seem to care.
I thought maybe it was Xiaolei who was feeling unwell, so I said, "Then let her sleep more, and wake her up when she wakes up." "
At noon, Xiaolei got up . She had apparently just woken up, her hair unkempt, her face pale, and her eyes glazed.
I asked her with concern, "Xiaolei, how are you feeling?"
Xiaolei said weakly: "Auntie, I have no strength in my whole body, and my head is also very dizzy. "
I quickly sat her down, poured her a glass of warm water, and then probed her forehead, which seemed to have a fever.
"Maybe it's a cold, so let's take a break. Come, take a sip of water. I whispered.
Xiao Lei took a sip of water, and her face looked even more ugly.
Xiao Fang asked on the side, "Do you want to cook some porridge for you?" I'll cook it at home, soon." "
I chimed in, "yes, eat some hot porridge and then go back to bed and lie down, it should be fine soon." "
Xiao Lei nodded weakly: "Okay then, trouble Aunt and Xiao Fang." "
I asked Xiaofang to cook porridge in the kitchen, while I took care of her by Xiaolei's side. Tuck the corners of the quilt for her, and pat her on the back, hoping that she will be more comfortable.
After a while, Xiaofang cooked the porridge, and I helped Xiaolei to the dining table. But after only half a bowl, she said she couldn't eat it anymore.
I looked at her shriveled side face with a little concern: "You've eaten too little like this, haven't you? "
"Auntie, I really can't eat now, my appetite is very poor. Little Lei groaned, "I'll be full after eating this." "
Seeing her painful appearance, I couldn't bear to force her anymore: "Okay, you go back to your room and sleep well, and call me if you need anything." "
In the evening, I made some fish and stir-fry. Xiao Fang came to dinner excitedly, but Xiao Lei still didn't mean to get up.
"Is Lei still sleeping?" I'm a little weird.
"Well, she said she was really dizzy and couldn't eat. I just went to see her and she was frowning and covering herself under the covers. Xiao Fang was also at a loss.
"Maybe it's a bad stomach. I frowned, "I'll see how she's doing in the evening and decide whether to take her to the hospital." "
After dinner, I made some light porridge and planned to let Xiaolei try to eat it again.
I crept into her room, she was asleep, her face still bloodless, her brows furrowed.
I woke her up softly: "Xiaolei, get up and eat porridge, and then continue to sleep, tomorrow will be much better." "
"Just eat a little bit, and I'll give you a heating treasure to warm up after eating, okay?" I persuaded.
She reluctantly sat up, shook and drank a few sips of porridge, and said that she really couldn't swallow it.
I had no choice but to let her continue to sleep, and secretly decided to take her to the hospital early tomorrow morning.
Xiao Fang was nervous on the side: "Mom, do you want to call Xiaolei's father to pick her up?" "
I thought about it: "Her dad isn't home during the day, and calling at this point might wake her mom up." I'll take her to the hospital tomorrow morning, and we'll just take care of her here." "
Xiao Fang nodded, her eyes full of worry. I comforted her: "Don't worry too much, it may be just a normal digestive problem, and it will be much better if you get some sleep." "
"Go ahead, call me anytime you have a situation. I watched my daughter enter the room.
In the dead of night, I was suddenly awakened by the faint sound of the door opening. I nervously got out of bed, walked to the living room, and saw Xiao Lei staggering towards the door.
I called out to her in surprise: "Xiaolei, where are you going at this time?"
Xiao Lei turned around in a daze and saw that it was me, and the whole person froze.
I looked her up and down and saw that she was disheveled and her face had an unnatural flush. At this time, I smelled a pungent smell of smoke and immediately became alert.
"Xiaolei, what does this smell like on you? Did you secretly go out to smoke tonight?" I asked solemnly.
Xiao Lei's face became more and more pale, her hands nervously twisted the corners of her clothes, and she was so ashamed that she couldn't speak.
I said sternly, "Get everything out of your body quickly, or I'll wake up your parents!"
Xiao Lei slowly took out a pack of cigarettes and a lighter from her pocket, and handed them to me with trembling hands.
When I saw these things, my hands trembled with anger, and I thought to myself that I would have naively thought she was sick.
"You smoke at your age, where did you get this thing?" I asked.
I'm almost angry, this kid is even a family liar, I really can't understand doing such a thing.
"You still took our family's money, didn't you? Don't try to hide it from me, take it out quickly!" I commanded sternly.
I was so angry that she wanted to beg me to hide it for her. I reprimanded mercilessly: "You steal money and smoke in my house, and you want me to help you hide it from your mother?
At this time, Xiaofang was also awakened by the sound outside the door, and she ran out in a panic: "Mom, who are you talking to?
I grabbed her shoulder and looked serious: "Girl, you also recruited me honestly, do you know about your friend secretly going to smoke?"
Xiao Fang's eyes widened, and she looked at Xiao Lei, who was standing on the side and lowered her head and pretended to cry, stammering and unable to speak.
My heart was half cold, it turned out that my daughter was also there, Xiaolei hid the truth from me. I was disappointed and said, "You're in the middle of it, oh my God, you guys just make me so sad!"
Xiao Fang cried out at this time: "I'm sorry Mom, it's all my fault, I shouldn't hide it for Xiaolei!"
Looking at the two children who cried into tears, I was angry and distressed. I softened my tone and said to Xiaolei: "Child, you are still young, and the decisions you make without understanding may not be right. But there is absolutely nothing wrong with smoking secretly, it hurts the body, and you have to stop. I'll tell your mother about tonight and let the adults take care of it, you know?"
Xiao Lei sobbed and nodded, and began to stumble and apologize again. I sighed and turned to Xiao Fang: "I'm also disappointed in you, you shouldn't help your friends hide your mistakes, you have to learn to distinguish between right and wrong." I understand that you have good intentions, but there are some things that have to be handled by adults, do you understand?"
Xiaofang couldn't cry anymore: "Mom, I really know my mistake, can you forgive me?"
Exhausted, I motioned for them all to go back to their rooms: "Let's all go back to sleep, and we'll talk about that tomorrow." I need time to think about how to explain to your parents. "
Xiaolei's mother has a tough attitude and does not admit that there is anything wrong with her daughter. And I know that this is just the beginning, and I have to restrain and educate Xiaofang more strictly to prevent her from being affected more.
After this chaos, I finally figured out what happened from the two children.
It turned out that since the beginning of the year, Xiaolei has been smoking a lot, and she spends very much money to make inappropriate consumption. She has a rebellious personality and makes some bad friends outside of school. In order to protect her friends, Xiaofang couldn't bear to complain to the teacher, so she could only cover up her behavior in front of her family.
It dawned on me that I trusted my daughter so much that I ignored the signs that she might be influenced by bad friends. A child's growth is inseparable from the guidance of parents, and I must reflect on my own education methods so as not to let my daughter be harmed again.
In fact, I shouldn't have easily agreed to let Xiaolei come to stay at home in the first place. For a child who is brewing rebellion, I should be vigilant enough not to open the door for her to enter my home. I believed too much in the goodness of my daughter and her friends and ignored the potential risks.
As a parent, I have to take direct responsibility for my child's development. Instead of blaming your child afterwards, build a firewall for them in advance. I can't let my friendship disrupt my daughter's upbringing anymore, and I have to re-establish family rules so that she understands what to do and what not to do.
Although I am reluctant, I still advise Xiaofang to keep her distance from Xiaolei for a period of time in the future. It's not that she wants to abandon her friends, but to avoid continuing to be ill-influenced. I will help her realize that true friendship leads to upliftment, not degradation.
This incident gave me a lot of food for thought and inspiration. Parents should not just rest on their laurels, but keep pace with the times and understand their children's inner world. The more rebellious the child, the more parents should take the initiative to care instead of running away. I will adjust my own way, communicate more calmly with Xiaofang, and find out her troubles in time.
At the same time, I also reflect on the influence of my own attitude and values on my daughter. We should set a good example for our children and influence their growth with our words and deeds. A healthy and uplifting family environment will allow children to naturally internalize positive forces.
This incident has had a profound impact on me, and I have seen the shortcomings of being a parent. But I'm not going to be discouraged, I learn from my lessons and keep trying. Every child deserves to be guided carefully, and I will do my best to help my daughter on the road to prosperity. I will also care about Xiaolei and hope that she can get back on the right path and grow up healthy and happy.
Although the road is difficult, I know the mission on my shoulders. I will walk side by side with my children, nourish their hearts with love, and enlighten their future with reason. This is not only a responsibility to the daughter, but also to the whole society. Every child shines with hope, and I will contribute to their growth.
After experiencing this, I couldn't help but reflect on what kind of responsibility a mother should take on the path of her child's growth.
In addition, I have to teach carefully to help my daughter establish the right values. As the old saying goes, "Teaching and learning are mutually beneficial." "I want to seize the opportunity to inspire my daughter to think about right and wrong, good and evil, and understand what is really important through vivid stories and cases around me. My child is in the Xi stage, and it is my responsibility to guide her carefully and help her build a solid foundation for being a person.
Finally, I want to give my daughter enough freedom and at the same time put up a protective net for her. Children need space to explore and make mistakes, but they also need boundaries and principles. I will give my daughter reasonable autonomy, but I will stick to the bottom line when it comes to things that may be harmful. I will build a relaxed but principled family environment, neither overly restrictive nor overly laissez-faire, so as to help my daughter grow up healthily.
This incident made me realize the importance of the role of a mother. A healthy family can achieve a healthy child, which is the great energy gradually intertwined by thousands of families. As a mother, I shoulder the responsibility of transmitting positive energy and leading my daughter's growth. This is a sacred mission, and I will devote myself wholeheartedly to trying to be a competent mother.
I know that my daughter will face many hardships and more choices. At that time, I will still stand by her side, give her encouragement and reminders, and let her grow into an independent and responsible person. Along the way, she will gradually understand the true meaning of life. And I will use selfless love to protect her blossoming and fruiting.
It also made me re-examine what qualities I should have as a mother in the new era.
I always remember that educating people is the hardest, and how arduous it is to stand alone. An able-bodied child needs to be nurtured by the whole society. As a mother, I have the responsibility to build a good character in my children. This requires me to constantly improve myself, keep pace with the times, and be proactive in order to become the strongest backing for my children's growth.
When my daughter is in trouble, I will not abandon her, but will be with her all the way. I will enlighten her path with wisdom, nourish her heart with love, and forge her will with tenacity. In the process, I will also be sublimated to become a wiser, more tolerant and more loving mother.
Life is a long road, and I would like to walk hand in hand with my daughter. She will experience more suffering, and she will surely usher in light. At that time, we will talk about the past, not lament the mistakes, but be grateful for the fact that they have made us beautiful today. I know that it is hardship and hardship that make life beautiful. I will use my experience to inspire my daughter to move forward bravely and light her path in life.
This incident made me understand that to be a good mother, instead of being your children, you should first demand yourself.
I need to improve my moral cultivation and make myself a good role model for mothers. This requires not only external knowledge cultivation, but also internal moral improvement. I will reflect on myself and strive to be a wise, loving and generous mother, and influence my daughter's growth by example.
I also want to conscientiously study Xi various scientific and rational educational methods. The times are advancing, and the means of education cannot stand still. I will broaden my horizons, learn Xi psychology, pedagogy and other knowledge, and master the skills of guiding children. But I will look at any method carefully and empathize with whether it meets my daughter's actual needs.
In addition, I want to be an intimate mentor for my daughter's growth. She is in a period of confusion and needs her mother's guidance and encouragement. I will listen patiently, put myself in her shoes, and give her the right advice. When she makes mistakes, I will also tactfully point them out to help her recognize her mistakes and get back on track.
I will also refrain from controlling or punishing my daughter in extreme ways. A healthy and enlightened family atmosphere can allow children to grow up mentally healthy. I will give my daughter reasonable freedom, trust and respect her independent personality.
I am well aware that raising a child is a shared responsibility of the family and society. Therefore, I will also pay attention to my daughter's school and environment, and work with other parents to care for their children's growth. We will form a joint force to build a big umbrella for the next generation.
Life is a long road, and I would like to walk hand in hand with my daughter. In the future, she will encounter greater storms and storms, and I will still protect her to move forward bravely. Along the way, she will grow and help me become a better version of myself. Doing what she needs is doing my change. I'm looking forward to that day.