As the child grows up day by day, the child's Xi has become a headache for parents, but there are more worrying things than this, especially when the child reaches adolescence, he begins to become rebellious, stubborn, and refuses to talk to his parents more.
Many parents find that boys have changed their bodies at the age of 13 or 14, and some even start to form gangs and fights when they are bad.
Especially at the beginning of junior high school, the parents of girls are often more worried than the parents of boys, afraid that their daughters will fall in love, afraid that they will be bullied, and if they do something out of the ordinary, their parents will be upset.
The 13-year-old daughter secretly clamped her legs, and the mother was furious
Most parents in China are silent about "sex" education, thinking that it is difficult to talk about it, and they do not know how to popularize science for their children, especially some parents will change their faces when they hear their children discuss sex.
Ms. Zhou is a very traditional mother, with a well-behaved and lovely daughter, the child has just entered junior high school, usually very sensible, but recently she found an abnormality, her daughter always finds an excuse to go back to the room when she comes home, and sometimes locks the room door.
Ms. Zhou, who has a very accurate sixth sense, immediately realized that something was wrong with her daughter, and once in the early hours of the morning, she suddenly heard a sound of "uh-huh" from her daughter's room, and her head was blank at that time, "No, how could it be...... What is she doing?"
She hurriedly ran over to eavesdrop, the sound was still coming out, she tried to open the door, and when she entered the door, she immediately became angry, it turned out that the well-behaved daughter was pinching her legs, and she made a sound from time to time.
Ms. Zhou, who has always been traditional, immediately became angry, directly pulled up her daughter in the bed, slapped her directly, and said loudly: "Shameless, how can you do such a thing?"
The daughter looked at her mother in horror, she didn't know why her mother was so loud, she could only shrink in the corner and dare not say a word.
Since then, she has become reticent and rarely talks to Ms. Zhou, and her grades have plummeted, and she even suffered from "depression".
Later, her daughter's condition became more and more serious, and she had to take her to a psychiatrist, who severely criticized her after learning that the child was frightened by her mother's sarcasm and intimidation.
Bumped into the girl's legs, this mother's approach can be called a textbook
In the face of her teenage daughter's legs and making a voice, Ms. Wang's approach is much more enlightened.
Once, when Ms. Wang came home half an hour earlier than usual, she found that her daughter was holding her legs in the room, and her face was ruddy, of course she was really angry, but she pretended not to see it.
Pretending not to know about it in front of my daughter, I later consulted a doctor friend and learned that this is actually a problem that adolescent girls will face, which is not a big problem, but it is normal, but parents need to guide them correctly and never reprimand their children.
So Ms. Wang bought a book and handed it to her daughter, telling her that it is normal for girls to behave like that when they grow up, but they should also pay attention to some problems, she slept with her daughter that night, discussed a lot of problems, and solved a lot of doubts in her daughter's heart.
Because of her understanding and unevasive understanding, her daughter knows a lot of physiological knowledge, and sometimes she will ask her mother for help when she has physical or emotional problems. Later, my daughter gradually got rid of the Xi of clamping her legs.
And she herself realized that her daughter has grown up, and when she comes home from work, she always finds more time to interact and chat with her children.
We see that the above two mothers show diametrically opposed attitudes towards adolescent girls' leg clamping behavior, and different attitudes will also have different effects on their children.
But in reality, there are not a few parents like Ms. Zhou, who think that adolescent children should not have such behavior, and that when problems arise, they do not help their children solve them, but also reprimand and blame, which has caused irreparable impact.
Both boys and girls will experience changes in their bodies when they enter puberty, such as the appearance of body hair, the appearance of a coarse voice in boys, the phenomenon of "sperm loss", and the development of breasts and menstruation in girls. This is frightening for teenage children who don't understand anything.
He/she doesn't understand why he/she is like this, some children even think they are sick and are too scared to sleep, and some even think that bleeding is going to die. Some children have acne, which is the age when they love beauty and want to be favored by the opposite sex, and coupled with the sensitivity of adolescent boys and girls, boys and girls can easily fall into self-doubt.
And that's when they need the help of their parents.
The girl fell in love early, and her parents did not guide her correctly, which caused a big disaster
The girl, Jingjing, is 14 years old, and her parents have been busy with business since she was a child, so she was sent to boarding school at a very young age and can only go home on weekends. Jingjing is very beautiful and has good grades in Xi, but because of the lack of parental care, she is usually very introverted.
Once she received a love letter from a senior boy, she was so scared that she didn't know what to do, so she hurriedly called her mother, but as soon as her mother heard that her daughter received a love letter, she began to teach her directly on the phone: "Why don't you learn well, and you are still in early love, you want love letters from others, isn't it good to do something serious a day?"
She didn't know what to do when she was scolded by her mother, and then the boy saw that she didn't move, and wrote her a few love letters.
Later, she couldn't help it, she secretly dated the boy, and she was also fascinated by the boy when she was in adolescence, and when the boy hugged him and wanted to develop further, she said that she was afraid, but the boy said that it would not be good, and then they had a relationship.
And the back was out of control, and then I learned that she found that she was vomiting nonstop, and when she went to the hospital, she found out that she was pregnant, and she was too scared to call her mother, and finally the doctor called her mother.
When the mother saw her daughter, she was still scolding her for being shameless.
In fact, there are many parents who are busy with work and neglect to take care of their children, especially the importance of sex education and emotions for adolescent girls.
But the truth is that many little girls don't know what they're doing or what the consequences are, and they have an extreme lack of sexual knowledge.
When a child enters puberty, how can parents properly carry out sexual initiation?
First, pay more attention to adolescent boys and girls
We all know that after children enter adolescence, they will become rebellious, sensitive, stubborn, disobedient to discipline, and even like a changed person.
But it should be noted that the concern here is not "control", nor "monitoring", but the care from life, and more attention is paid to the mental health of children.
Don't always think about criticizing, complaining and blaming when you encounter problems, you need to be more patient.
Such as respecting children, allowing them to lose their temper occasionally, and allowing them to have their own little secrets. Parents should give them more room to grow, and when their children encounter unsolvable difficulties, they should reach out in time and give help.
If adolescent children have disdainful and dissatisfied attitudes, do not order them with an aggressive attitude, and parents should do to close the distance between them and their children, not to distance them.
2. Don't ignore your child's desires
When a child has a liking for the opposite sex, a crush or even a puppy love, it is necessary to understand that this is normal, and you can analyze the reasons with her and tell her why this is the case, but pay attention to what can and cannot be done.
If your child has questions about "sex", you should also answer them, don't keep your mouth shut, the more you avoid, the more curious your child will be.
3. Pay attention to hygiene
If the girl has her first menstrual period, the mother should comfort the child, encourage the child from physical to psychological, tell the child how to cope, teach her to use sanitary napkins correctly, tell her how to ensure menstrual hygiene, and help the child choose qualified sanitary napkins.
Yes, but my mother remembered that she was young at that time, and she didn't know what to do, and the conditions at home were not good, so she used toilet paper every time, but when she went out for activities, she would accidentally get on her pants, not to mention how embarrassing it was.
Professor Li Meijin, a psychology expert, suggested: "Parents should educate girls about sex and physiology as soon as possible, and it is best to gradually arrange it from kindergarten to help girls avoid a lot of trouble." ”
So if you have a daughter, be sure to tell your child in advance: "Don't panic, mom will teach you how to do it!"
For example, during menstruation, girls usually can't touch cold water, they will have stomach pain, they can drink some hot water, wear more clothes, don't get cold, they can drink more brown sugar water, change at least 3-4 sanitary napkins every day, and sleep at night can be changed into sleeping pants, and sleep more firmly at night.
Although there are also physiology classes in the school, they are all very simple, and children will only find the closest people for this kind of intimate problems, so be sure to tell children to pay attention to hygiene.
Fourth, don't buy too tight pants for your child
If your child is a girl, don't give her too tight pants since she was a child, many girls reach puberty, begin to love beauty and dress themselves, like to wear leggings, thinking that they are beautiful and beautiful, it is true that leggings can make the legs look slender and good-looking, but in fact, there are many harms.
Child psychology and behavior have pointed out that many times, children find that their bodies feel differently because they wear tight pants.
If you wear leggings a lot, your child will feel a novel experience from the myelin sheath when she rubs during exercise.
And too tight pants, easy to induce gynecological diseases, parents don't think that only married women have gynecological diseases, tight pants cause the lower body moisture is not easy to dissipate, and then breed bacteria.
When buying underwear for your child, choose breathable cotton material and the right size. Loose and comfortable slacks are preferred.
5. Guide children through sex education books
Of course, most parents are overwhelmed by how to educate their children and don't know how to start, so they can read the relevant books by themselves, or they can show the girls "Private Books for Adolescent Girls".
But my mother bought her for her 15-year-old niece at the time, but I didn't expect her to like it very much, this set of books is pink, girls like it very much, it talks about the knowledge of menstrual periods, such as the strange smell of girls' menstrual periods, how to go to physical education classes during menstruation, what is the white thing on the underwear, how to protect the secret garden, etc.
He also talked about issues related to early love, such as how to deal with receiving love letters, what is early love, what kind of girl is popular, what to do if she likes the opposite sex, what are the reasons for having strange dreams, and so on.
It also talked about the emotions of adolescent girls, as well as coping strategies, how to study well during adolescence Xi and so on.
When my niece finished reading it, she told me that this book was much more detailed than her mother's, and that she also knew a lot about physiology and how to protect herself.
The content is more down-to-earth and suitable for girls aged 10-18
I also have daughters, but my mother reminds parents that timely sex education is to protect children, especially girls, and they must understand this knowledge and not wait for others or society to tell her what is going on. Parents who need it can be found by clicking on the link below.
Private book for adolescent girls ¥49 Purchase
There are also some parents who are worried, how can a girl before the age of 10 teach her to protect herself?
More and more bad guys are reaching out to little girls, but sadly, many girls don't know what is happening, and even swallow their anger after being threatened not to tell their parents.
Be sure to tell your child about this.
1. Which children are vulnerable to sexual abuse?
(1) Girls who often go out to Internet cafes, KTVs, and movie theaters.
(2) Girls who are beautiful, dressed up fashionably, and like to be unconventional.
(3) Girls who are timid, like to be alone, and have few friends.
(4) A girl who always comes home alone after school.
(5) Girls who are scantily well-dressed and thin in summer.
(6) Girls who like to take advantage of small advantages.
(7) A girl who is angry with her parents and doesn't go home at night.
2. How can girls protect themselves from harm?
(1) Be cautious in making friends and don't be friends with people who don't have a good style.
(2) Don't accept drinks and snacks from strangers easily, and don't go with strangers.
(3) Try to go out in a group and not take a small road.
(4) Tell your parents when you will come back before going out, and always contact your parents.
(5) Don't fall in love and protect yourself.
(6) If you feel uncomfortable in physical contact, you must refuse it in time and tell your parents.
Okay, parents, hurry up and collect it.