Pure husband and wife, friendship first

Text: Thirteen sisters

The thirteenth brother-in-law's new office was finally renovated, and it took months and delays, during which time he worked from home every day, and you can imagine what I was doing every day when I was looking forward to my husband going to work.

In August, I said that it would be completed in September, in September it was said that it would be finished in October, and in November I said that it would definitely be good in December.

This incident once again tells us: everything related to the husband, as long as you don't get your hopes up, there will be surprises.

On the day his new office opened, I was happier than him, and in the morning there was a long-lost sense of seeing you off for a long time, and I couldn't help but think of the scene my mother told about the family who sent her on the train to go up the mountain to the countryside...... Wow, why doesn't my husband go to the mountains and go to the countryside?

Ok, don't think about that yet, it's good that he can go to work now.

The happiness of a married woman: My husband goes to work, my children go to school, I am alone in the empty room, and there is a cat next to me.

I used to think: Is there any mental illness like me looking forward to my husband and children not being at home?

When I learned about mental problems in the psychology course, I listened very carefully. Schizophrenia, anxiety disorders, depressive disorders, obsessive-compulsive disorders, personality disorders, using the elimination method, I most likely have some kind of personality disorder.

Personality disorders are divided into three categories: A, B, and C, and type A is the peculiar-eccentric type, such as paranoia and split. Type B is theatrical-emotional, such as antisocial, borderline, performative, narcissistic. Type C is anxiety-fear, such as avoidant, obsessive-compulsive, and dependent.

I filtered it again, and I felt that this kind of psychology of "hoping to be alone in an empty room" should belong to the combination of the split type in category A and the avoidance type in category C. It's a different kind of fireworks, and even mental problems are superimposed.

Then I thought again, I can't give up on myself, let alone label myself with pathological thinking, or look at how many patients like me are on the market! Then I launched a small poll, and the question was: "If one day you don't have to go to work and can rest at home, how would you like to spend it?"

You see, I'm much more relieved now, how many of the contemporary married women have no mental problems?

As many as 78% of married women with babies are a combination of split type + avoidance type, and they can add another performance type and occasionally a forced type.

I originally wanted to find similar patients to huddle together for warmth, but now it seems that there is still a group, shouldn't it be those small ladies who should huddle together for warmth? Think about it calmly, the 7.3% chose "spend it with their husbands", and 8.9% chose "spend it with their husbands and children", do you think they are not mentally normal and very loving?

Augustin Trive Petrovich said: whoever occupies the majority defines normal.

Marriage has this effect, it will change everyone's cognition, what you didn't understand before (such as men) can now see everything, what you used to think was important (such as love) is not important now, what you used to disdain (such as freedom) is now precious, what you thought was bad (such as loneliness) may now be a treasure......

Maybe another Virgin marriage guru will jump out and say, "This is an unhealthy marriage."

What is a healthy marriage? In the past, there was a word called "successful marriage," but do you see that as long as you haven't divorced, it's a successful marriage. Then a healthy marriage is the same thing, as long as it is not dead, it is a healthy marriage.

Most marriages of more than ten years are like brothers opening a company together, brotherhood plus a partnership, double superposition, even marriage is a different fireworks.

The most important thing to maintain a relationship is friendship, especially when you have been with a straight man for a long time, you will Xi used to integrate into the brotherly iron friendship, and all the emotional intersections that go beyond friendship are all added to the painting, and even a little scary.

For example, yesterday, I suddenly received a message from my thirteenth brother-in-law:

It should be noted here: When a straight man who has never understood Fengyue and has no sense of ritual suddenly takes the initiative to buy a snack you like and sends a weird smile, there must be a reason for it, and it is generally unlikely that he suddenly opened his mind.

So I urgently called the paranoid type in category A of the personality disorder spectrum combined with the performative type in category B, and gave a small reply without being surprised:

After all, I've been a brother for a long time, and I don't believe that straight men will bring me any small surprises. Generally speaking, the friendship between brothers is not a detour, nor does it take shortcuts, it is basically "you squeak when something happens" and "squeak may not be done".

Take the last incident - I squeaked and asked him to bring me a cup of coffee when I came home, and he replied, "I don't pass by the coffee shop", I said, "You drove around and passed by", he said, "Didn't you say yesterday that you will only drink hot water in the future", I said, "I didn't say that", he said, "You have to learn to refrain from that", I said, "I'm already restrained", he said, "Why do you keep lifting the bar"......

Anyway, people just have time to squirm and push and shove with me for hundreds of rounds, but they just don't want to just go and buy me a cup of coffee and bring it back.

There is no sense of crisis, is it that I have overheated the friendship I gave you?

Don't forget that there is always such a person in this world, he will not hinder my thoughts, never hit my emotions, and will not dislike me for eating too much, nor will he find all kinds of reasons to shirk, he will always be obedient to me, always rush to me as fast as possible, never say a word to me, he is a takeaway brother.

Later, I bought a 500 coffee card and threw it to my child's father.

His nonsense was gone, his preaching stopped, and he happened to pass by the coffee shop, and he didn't think I needed to restrain myself...... Ten minutes later, afternoon tea was on my desk. He must have wondered at the time: why does this woman always get her wishes true?

When I was a girl, I dreamed that I could meet a domineering president, and 20 years later, I have lived myself as that domineering president.

In fact, it is very simple for husband and wife to get along, there are not so many flowery intestines, that is, friendship is paramount. Friends who often get married know that friendship is very indestructible, what is the key to maintaining friendship? Remember these words: equality, honesty, do not owe each other, do not take advantage.

When you expect your husband to meet all your expectations at all times, you are already sorry for pure friendship. However, with the premise of financial investment, the boat of friendship will be a little more stable.

What we spend is not money, it is an olive branch of love and peace, so that after ten years of marriage, the relationship between men and women has not only become purer, but also purer, pure as pure as the relationship between me and the delivery boy......

Speaking of going back to the straight man, he suddenly took the initiative to buy me snacks.

My questioning was performed very naturally, and the child's father's reply could also be seen to be carved several times:

He adopted John Truby's key three-step approach to storytelling:1. 2. Creation of moral needs, 3. Desire thread.

Again, straight men suddenly do what scumbags are good at, and there must be a reason for it. I advised myself not to think too much, but to introspect repeatedly: it wasn't that he had a problem, it was my class A and class C psychopath.

But if you think about it carefully, the essence of friendship lies in this, isn't it just that you trouble me, I trouble you, you buy me something delicious, and I bring you something fun.

I was immersed in the emotion and longing for the sublimation of our friendship, and the child's father came back, rushed to my study with a mouthful of salt and pepper crisp that was still warm, opened the bag, and put it in front of me.

I thought he was going to feed me. Neurotic!

Then he said to me: "Here's the thing, yesterday I was buying cat food in a certain east, I saw a white strip to buy, I was very curious, I wanted to study what it was, and then I clicked it in, but I didn't expect to make a white strip inexplicably, and then I wanted to repay, but I couldn't pay it back, you go and help me pay it back." ”

The salt and pepper in my hand is not fragrant anymore. "Cheap hand", "white stripe", "can't pay it back", "help me repay"...... Oops, this string of keywords, just like the essay written by my son, is a progressive crit!

I thought it was the eldest brother who had been in love for a long time to please him, but I didn't expect it to be his bill that couldn't be paid......

Look again, good guys!

The title of this white strip is particularly sensational: "My bill is half of yours, love to share with each other"......

I can only say that you understand middle-aged people and know that we are on the boat, but they are all boats of friendship, not love, why, because if you divide half of the bill on the boat of love, it is easy to turn over.

Women, sure enough, is a species that needs to download anti-fraud apps, a bag of salt and pepper and a bite of crisp can make me self-PUA, until I suddenly woke up and found that I didn't remember the true meaning of friendship, and I forgot the eternal truth about treating men-

There are surprises only when you don't get your hopes up. If there is any hope of crossing the line, there may be a bill......

Thirteenth sister

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