Children with these 4 manifestations may have been spoiled! If you don't change it, it's too late Selected

Children who are loved by their parents are happy, but once the love is too much, the child will be spoiled.

Whether a child is spoiled or not can be seen from the outward performance.

When a child has the following 4 manifestations, parents must be cautious and prevent them from getting worse.

01

Poor independence and no ability to take care of themselves

Spoiled children have poor self-care skills. Some parents always like to do everything for their children, no matter how big or small, they do it for their children.

Children who grow up in such an environment will slowly develop a kind of inertia, having their parents to worry about everything, and lacking the ability to take care of themselves.

Some children have grown to six or seven years old, and they can't wear their own clothes, can't tie their shoes, and even have to be coaxed and fed by adults.

As a parent, if you love your child, you have to slowly withdraw from his life.

After the child is 3 years old, it is a critical period to develop the ability to live independently, parents should let go when they should let go, and some things children can do on their own.

Common behaviors in life, such as putting on and taking off clothes, washing, eating, etc., can be carried out independently by children.

From an early age, encourage children to do their own things, and give children more opportunities to work and do housework.

If your child has mastered basic life skills and can take care of himself independently, he will be able to take good care of himself at any point in his life.

02

I like to talk about conditions and ask excessively

Nowadays, many children are good at observing words and feelings, and some parents may think that observing words and colors is an excellent insight ability.

However, if parents do not seize the opportunity of their children's education, children are very likely to develop the bad Xi of not distinguishing right from wrong and talking about conditions in everything.

Over time, you will listen to what is good for you, and you will not hear what is bad for you.

If you want your child to help with something small, the child will first negotiate with you about the conditions, such as I will help you with the work, you will give me some pocket money, I will clean, and you will let me watch TV.

When the child is young, the parents find it very interesting to know how to "exchange" in this way, and as long as the child can be obedient, they are very happy to agree to the child's conditions.

Over time, the child will figure out that "obedience" can be exchanged for the "benefit" he wants, which is good for himself, and he will establish such a concept in his consciousness - "action = reward".

Requests like this often make many parents don't know what to do, you meet one, and there will be several requests waiting for you.

Parents should selectively meet their children's requirements, firmly refuse inappropriate requirements, and do not compromise easily because of their children's unreasonable or coquettish cuteness.

03

There are no principles and no rules in doing things

Everything in the world is inseparable from rules, and only when there are rules can we know the boundaries, and only between people can we know the proportions.

However, the cultivation of rules needs to be cultivated from an early age, and freezing three feet is not a day's cold, let alone Xi?

For example, some children use chopsticks to hit the rice bowl at will when eating, go to other people's houses to play, rummage through other people's drawers at will, and make loud noises in public...

These behaviors of children are actually a manifestation of lack of rules and constraints.

Sometimes there is a reason why children don't follow the rules or do things slowly, and that's because they don't have self-control.

When the child enters the age of 2 or so, the sensitive period of self-awareness comes, and he understands that "himself" is an independent individual.

Not only can I get what I want with my hands, but my legs are also more flexible, and I am beginning to explore the things around me in pursuit of independence and freedom.

If the child is 3 years old and has some unruly behavior, parents must not blindly indulge it.

04

Lose your temper and don't know how to be grateful

A spoiled child will always lose his temper, and if others are slightly disobedient to him, he will lose his temper regardless of the occasion.

This is a typical manifestation of being spoiled by parents, and children will encounter many problems in the process of growing up, such as: facing fear, facing difficulties, behavior control, desire control, etc., which are all problems of children's self-control.

Children with strong self-control know how to restrain or express their emotions in other reasonable ways. Teaching children to recognize emotions and manage their own emotions is the cornerstone of children's self-control.

Children aged 0-3 are still in the stage of ignorance and expression of emotions. They yell, throw things, and lose their temper are all expressing emotions with direct actions.

Children aged 4-6 years old enter a period of stable emotional development, and their control of their emotions changes from passive to active.

At this time, parents can learn about different emotions with their children through picture books and stories, and show them how to express emotions correctly.

Smart parents know how to seize the opportunity of their children's growth, guide their children to manage their emotions, and cultivate children's self-control from an early age.

As the saying goes: "Habitual children are like killing children", and habitual children do not love them, but harm them. If the child has these symptoms, parents must pay attention to it.

This article is transferred with permission from | Montessori daily

Editor-in-Charge | Du Runnan

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