Internal audit jokes - 5 workplace jokes for auditors!
ID: Internal auditor practice and actual combat
1. Why did the hotel go out of business?
During this time, the commercial company was audited, and several tenants who were doing hotels could not sustain themselves, so they closed their doors and withdrew their shops!
One of the two auditors sighed: "Such a big hotel, it will be closed, it seems that the economic environment after the epidemic has not improved!"
The female auditor said: "What does the closure of the hotel have to do with the economic environment? In my opinion, it is a lack of morality and too much work!"
"What will the hotel do that lacks morality?"
"People who don't have a house have no money, and the hotel will definitely not let them live in it;
The man was surprised and said, "That makes sense! However, many beautiful women are welcome to stay in hotels when they have no money, and they don't live in hotels when they have money and a room, why do you say?"
.....
2. Girls who do audits are not fickle
A beautiful woman in the company's internal audit department said angrily to the audited unit: "You have really changed now, you were polite and even respectful to us at the beginning, but now it's good, you love to ignore it, or simply avoid us!"
The person from the audited unit replied: "After a long time, people will change, aren't you women naturally fickle?"
The auditor retorted: "I am not fickle! I used to punish you, but now I will punish you the same!"
3. What is the responsibility of not getting the arrears back?
Another audit of marketing arrears, the company has a large number of accounts receivable to not come back, audit to divide management responsibilities!
Marketing: "I only sell products, and it is the responsibility of the financial staff to get the money back, and it is the installment policy authorized by the financial boss!"
Finance: "We only keep the accounts, and it is the responsibility of the marketing department to get the money back, and it is the products they sell!"
The two departments kick the ball with each other, and the company's responsibilities are already chaotic, and the auditors are ready to play fifty boards on each of the two departments!
At this time, a young girl from the finance department stood up: "Is the marketer giving away the product? or selling the product? If it is only delivered, I can also do marketing!"
It makes sense!
But a Laipi man in the marketing department retorted: "Haven't you seen the Yihong Courtyard in the movie, the person who sells doesn't collect money, and the person who makes money collects the account?"
I have long understood the mouths of marketers: unreasonable can also stir up three points!
Hearing this, the auditor decisively leaned towards finance, and said the audit opinion to the marketer: "Your wife is in charge of your money, but why doesn't she come to ask for a salary?"
4. Is auditing a magic stick?
After the meeting, the newly hired auditors complained: "The boss asked me to make a risk management framework, but also to predict and evaluate risks.
An old fritter in the audit department persuaded him: "What's wrong with the magic stick? As long as the god stick says that there is a disaster, the pilgrims are eager to break the fortune and avoid the disaster!"
"Can this be the same?"
"How is it different? You exaggerate the problems and risks, the bigger the better! As long as the risks are serious enough, the results are good!"
"What do you mean?"
"The risk is high, but the bad thing doesn't happen, which proves that the employee works hard and leads well; if the bad thing really happens, the risk is too great, and no one can cure it!"
This is the survival philosophy of the mixed workplace!
5. Materiality Principle
The company recruited auditors, and two beautiful women came for an interview, and the boss wanted to meet in person.
The boss's question was, "Do you know the principle of importance in the audit business?"
The beauty in the suit said: "The principle of materiality is to invest more time and energy in the business with greater risk, and when preparing the audit plan, we should refer to the risk size of the business and carry out the business according to the principle of materiality." ”
The boss nodded, facing another sexy-dressed girl, who bowed down and handed over a note, and said softly, "I've written it down, please take a look!"
The boss stared at the fullness of her chest for dozens of seconds, took the note and glanced at it and nodded with satisfaction, obviously in love with her!
At the end of the interview, the woman in the suit asked the sexy woman, "What is the answer you wrote?"
The sexy woman replied: "The principle of unimportant sex!"
"Is this possible? Our audit adheres to the principle of materiality!"
Seeing the disbelief on the face of the woman in the suit, the sexy woman took out the note she wrote, and the answer was indeed the words she said: "It's not important!
Eventually, the sexy woman received the offer.
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