There was a farmer who was bitten by a poisonous snake when he went to mow grass in the field.
The farmer was furious, took up his scythe, and chased after the snake, trying to catch it and get rid of it.
After climbing over a small hill, crossing a small river, and walking a few hundred meters of ridges, the farmer fell to the ground.
After a while, the villagers found that the farmer had died of poison and the snake was nowhere to be found.
This is the "law of chasing snakes".
As the philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche said, "If you have been entangled with the dragon for too long, you will become a dragon yourself, and if you stare into the abyss for too long, the abyss will stare back." ”
Anyone with a little bit of brains knows that the farmer should go to the hospital immediately to save his life, not fight the snake.
When we laugh at the farmer, and then look at our family, too many parents are using the farmer's thinking logic to educate their children.
When the child grows up, he is not outstanding, but the parents use the power of the wilderness.
01
Angry parents can't teach "determined" children.
As the saying goes, "Impulse is the devil." ”
When people are impulsive, they will do things that are unreasonable. The farmer is like this, when he is hurt by a snake, he grits his teeth and jumps like thunder.
Otherwise, he would have known how to heal himself.
Parents immediately lose their minds when they see their children make mistakes and their grades are a little bit worse. When anger arises, the family is disorganized, and education becomes "beaten" and so on.
The "kick-effect" tells us that anger can be transmitted from one person to another, and even to the cats and dogs in the home. The consequences can be imagined.
In the spring and autumn period, Zengzi and his father Zeng Dian dug together, and Zengzi accidentally broke the melon seedlings.
Zeng Dian was very angry, picked up the hoe and hit Zengzi.
Zengzi fainted, and when he woke up, he trembled and made amends to his father.
When Confucius knew about this, he said to Zeng Tzu meaningfully: "Today, the counselor father, who is committed to being angry, does not avoid death, and is trapped in injustice by his father, and his unfilial piety is great." “
To obey the violent father, that is unkind and unjust. This is what Confucius meant.
Later, Zeng Zi and Zeng Dian both worshiped Confucius as their teacher, learned etiquette, and no longer "met each other in arms". As a result, Zeng Zi became a great filial son, and Zeng Dian became elegant.
There is a philosopher who said, "Anger begins with stupidity and ends with regret." ”
In the process of growing up, children will hurt their parents and will do things that dissatisfy their parents, which cannot be avoided. Parents are angry, and if they educate their children again, they will definitely regret it.
02
Parents who put the cart before the horse can't teach their children "directional".
Forgetting the importance of life and chasing after snakes is a mistake in reverse.
The ancients also told the parable of the farmer and the snake: in the cold winter, when the farmer met a frozen snake, he held the snake in his arms.
After being warmed, the snake woke up and instinctively bit the farmer. The poor farmer had a good heart, but he was reaped evil.
If you go in the wrong direction, no amount of effort will be in vain.
Xu Xiake of the Ming Dynasty liked to read very much when he was a child, and in addition to remembering his own books, he also went to other people's houses to borrow books.
When you see a good book, you would rather exchange it for clothes.
When he was fifteen years old, Xu Xiake went to take the children's exam, but during the exam, he hesitated, resulting in not taking the exam.
When his father saw Xu Xiake's results, he was not angry, but encouraged him and said, "If you are not interested in fame, don't force it." ”
Later, with the support of his parents, Xu Xiake became a "travel expert", and his wisdom was not buried.
There is also Yuan Lifan of the Ming Dynasty, who went to study medicine under the arrangement of his mother when he was a child.
Yuan Lifan met Mr. Kong, and after talking, he found that it was more suitable to participate in the scientific expedition.
When her mother heard that Yuan Lifan was going to change the direction of her studies, she said calmly: "If you decide, go with Mr. Kong." ”
After years of hard work, Yuan Lifan became an official and became a thinker.
Children are rangers, and parents are lighthouses. The direction of the light is the direction in which the ranger is going, so the ranger can go farther and farther. If the lights are in the opposite direction, then the ranger will also get lost, after all, there is a black rumbling everywhere.
Look at how many parents are around us, tossing around. Whether the child is willing or not, just force it. The condescending consequences are all too obvious.
When the child reaches the university, the parents are still restrained, forcing the child to take the public examination, go to a large company, etc. The child is unwilling to go this way, so he fails again and again, and his youth is wasted.
03
Entangled parents can't teach children who are "flexible".
The farmer and the snake become entangled, causing the farmer to hurt himself.
Why don't you adjust the direction and "initiate" in the process of chasing the snake?
The practice of a tendon, we look at others, it is very funny, but we don't know that we have a similar situation.
I saw a joke: the tiger went to chase the snake, and the snake jumped into the water.
The tiger waited on the shore for a long time, but the snake did not come ashore, but a turtle came.
The tiger held down the turtle and shouted, "Where are you going, you think that after changing the vest, I won't know you?"
It is not difficult to find that "stubbornness" is fiercer than a tiger.
In the Book of Changes, it is said: "If you are poor, you will change, and if you change, you will be successful." ”
When a child encounters a setback, or makes a mistake, parents need to be flexible and allow their children to be flexible.
In the past, children had to go to Beijing to study, and then they had to go to Shanghai, which was allowed. The child used to be a good girl, and then he had to travel far away, which is okay.
Good parents guide their children, but do not force their children, and know how to let go. Bad parents, on the contrary, protect their children everywhere, but they don't know that this is a "prison of love".
If the two generations get too close and are always entangled, they will also lose both. Parents hate their children for being disobedient;
04
When we think that our parents are great, we must see the shortcomings of our parents.
There is some love, which is too much, but it becomes a femme fatale; there is some guidance, and if the direction is wrong, it becomes an abyss; and there are some emotions that do not know how to be restrained, just like a sharp edge piercing people's bodies.
Avoid the "law of chasing snakes" and be a rational, directional, and flexible parent, children's lives will change and eventually go on the road.
Parents should always think that if the child is wrong just now, forget it, and then be right.
Author: Cloth Clothes Coarse Food.
Follow my words and go into your heart.
The pictures in the article come from the Internet.