The great educator Sukhomlinsky said: "Every moment you see a child, you see yourself, and when you educate a child, you are also educating yourself and testing your own personality." ”
I don't know if you have paid attention to how mothers are described in many celebrity biographies:
The mother is gentle, virtuous, and understanding, she has always silently dedicated herself to the child without complaint, the mother is strong, kind, and assertive, as if nothing can stump the mother...
Do these words sound familiar?
It is this kind of mother who can raise such a wonderful child.
Because children are instinctively dependent on their mothers at an early age, their personality, language, and behavior can affect their children throughout their lives.
How can the child's character and habits not develop in the opposite direction of the mother's personality and inherit the mother's strengths?
The best way is for the mother to restrain herself in front of her children and become a mother in the true sense of the word.
The mother is in front of the child, not at the negotiating table, and does not need to look at the child with criticism, criticism and demand perfection.
The mother's aggressive attitude, harsh language, controlling behavior and self-righteous judgment will hurt the child's self-esteem and self-confidence far more than the test-oriented education.
And for the child, from the moment he is born, the child's requirements for the role of mother are almost eternal.
How to be a good mother:
1
Before entering the door, forget about your unpleasantness
Before you enter the house, you must remind yourself:
Forget all the unpleasant things in the unit, and now take on the role of mother.
The child needs the mother to be happy, and never transfer the bad emotions that have nothing to do with the child to the child, because the child is innocent.
2
A child's little honor is important
When your child excitedly tells his mother that he got a five-pointed star or a little red flower at school today, don't show boredom or disdain, and praise him as happily as your child.
The most appropriate way to say it is "can you let mom see it"...
Share this joy with him, because this honor is very important to the child.
3
"Ignorant" mom
When a child comes to his mother and asks him questions such as "how do you pronounce this word?" or so on, it is best for her not to answer him right away, and the worst answer is "why don't you even know this word".
Mom had better take a look at it and say, "Oh, I don't know each other, let's look up the dictionary together, okay?"
After a few times, the mother taught the child to use the dictionary, and at the same time, the child will have a sense of accomplishment after looking up the dictionary and knowing the word, and after many times, he will develop the habit of consulting information without relying on the mother.
4
Calm, calm, must be calm
When the child tells the mother that she did not do well in the exam today, the mother must restrain her emotions and must not get angry or have a gloomy face, and the child is nervously observing the mother's face at this time.
Therefore, it is best for the mother to show that there is no emotional change, let the child take out the paper, and analyze what is wrong with the child.
If the child has understood what is wrong, the mother does not have to dwell on it.
But at the end, encourage him: Look, you won't be wrong in the next exam.
If mom feels like she can't control her emotions, she goes to the bathroom to wash her face, looks in the mirror and takes a few deep breaths.
5
I used to be a coward too
When a child shows timidity before an exam or before doing something more important, the mother must not dismiss or reprimand him for being timid or acting more nervous than him.
This will increase the psychological pressure of the child and cause the child to be unable to function normally.
At this time, it is best for mom to say to her child very easily, no matter how well you do, mom and dad are not as good as you when you are old, don't worry.
At this time, the child will be very confident and confident, and he will play better than usual.
6
In the face of failure, we are a little stronger
When a child suffers a failure or setback, the mother should be strong and never give up, calmly telling the child that failure is only for a while, not a lifelong failure.
Don't think the child has to give up, the mother first acts like there is no hope.
The worst thing is to ridicule him with mean language, count the children as useless, and even count the old and new accounts together.
Children raised by such mothers will have extremely low self-esteem and even give up their supposed bright future.
7
"You must want...", "You should..."
Mothers should not preemptively express their opinions before the child can express what he wants to say clearly, and order the child in a tone of "you must...", "you should...", regardless of whether the child wants to or not;
Represent your child's point of view with your own point of view and ask your child to implement it.
Mom must not be synonymous with "autocracy".
Children who grow up in such situations lack assertiveness and lack the ability to judge right and wrong.
Mothers and children should have an equal relationship (equality is not unprincipled) and know how to respect each other.
8
Hurt comes from those closest to you
Mothers need to control the way they speak in front of their children.
The mother who knows her child the most in the world, so she knows best where her child's weaknesses are.
If the mother often points out the child's weakness when she speaks, uses sarcasm, criticism or threat, or deliberately asks the child to do it knowing that the child cannot do it.
This is undoubtedly the use of the sharpest weapon to constantly stab the child's sore spots.
The child will be hurt in his heart because the hurt comes from the people closest to him.
9
"Short language + silence" > nagging non-stop
In front of the child, the mother has to control the amount of language.
Don't nag. In fact, what scares children the most is the silence of their mothers.
So, instead of babbling on and on, tell your child in short words what mistakes he made or what he should pay attention to.
Next, the mother's silence is certainly more useful than continuing to speak, do not think that the child does not understand, although he pretends not to care, but in fact he is observing whether the mother takes what she says seriously.
Dear mothers, don't wait for your child to grow up and always talk about him, why are you such a character, who are you like?
Obviously, parents are the child's enlightenment teachers, and the child's personality depends on your usual attitude towards him.
For the sake of children, we encourage all parents.