The headline number "Poetry and Painting Spring and Autumn" - a typical poetry horse! I don't know when it was touted by a group of people, especially a person with the headline called "Taoyuan Yajing" who shouted for it every day on the headlines, and tried his best to praise it as a rare poetry master on the headlines...
As far as I know, the person of "Poetry and Painting Spring and Autumn" was named "A Few Drops of Rain" a year ago, and later changed its name to "The Voice of Cloud Dreams", which is a rare "splashing skin and breaking down" in the headline poetry circle! He is a man with no character and no virtue, often evil, and his poetry level is even worse and smelly... Despite this, he often likes to show off his "bending waist" quatrain in the headlines, thinking that he can write a few sentences of "bending the waist" is very good, and the arrogant appearance is so spitting...
A person who doesn't even know what "absolute" is, but always likes to pretend to be cute, and often writes four sentences of twenty or twenty-eight words, thinking that it is a "quatrain", and wantonly tramples on the rhythmic poetry! I thought I had marked a "absolute", and the poem was tall, but I don't know that painting a tiger is not an anti-dog, it is really "brother can bear, uncle can't bear it", it's strange if you don't scold!
From the time this bad embryo fell out of the mother's womb, it was one word "cheap"!
Let's take a look at a few masterpieces of this "cheap embryo":
Pseudo-one: Late autumn
The rain and clouds are flying thousands of wisps of sunset, half the city landscape and half people's homes.
The crystal curtain rolls up the autumn scene, and the sunset slopes outside the partridge sound.
The poem is based on the rhyme of flat water, and the rhythm of the poem is as follows:
Ping Ping, Ping Ping, Ping Ping.
Ping Ping, Ping Ping, Ping Ping, Ping Ping.
Sentence turn: "crystal" flat sound, "roll" flat sound, "autumn" flat sound, combined sentence: "partridge" flat sound, "outside" flat sound, "yang" flat sound, let's see: two, four, six characters are exactly the same, it should be "right" but it became "sticky". Is there such a quatrain? If I'm not mistaken, this should probably be a "Mahuge" who doesn't understand the rules of quatrain at all, right?
If you don't consider the flat water rhyme, according to the new rhyme:
Ping Ping, Ping Ping, Ping Ping.
Ping Ping, Ping Ping, Ping Ping, Ping Ping.
The second, fourth, and sixth characters of the turn and conjunctions are not only mismatched, but the last sentence also has a serious three-flat tail phenomenon, and at the same time, even the rhyme is not rhymed! The beginning and the sentence are rhymed, but the rhyme of the sentence becomes three. Of course, there may be a considerable number of people who think: The conjunctive sentence here is a lonely goose grid, which can be identified as "a lonely goose into the group", but I don't know if Mr. Da Shi has thought about it, a quatrain, at least the sentence and the conjunctive sentence must rhyme, otherwise it can't be called absolute! The first sentence can be rhymed or not, naturally as far as the first sentence is concerned, it can rhyme with neighbors, and when it rhymes with neighbors, it becomes what people often say "lonely geese out of the group", which is completely permissible! But if you say that the last sentence can rhyme with neighbors, and you think that this is "a lonely goose into the group", then you are a bit "foreign"...
Revised draft: (Pingshui rhyme)
The rain and clouds are flying thousands of wisps of sunset, half the city landscape and half people's homes.
The crystal curtain rolls up the autumn scene, and the sun reflects the slanted shadow of the tower.
Pseudo-absolute two: Untitled
The rain hits the frost and the maple embroiders the curtain cold, and the acacia is an inch away from the mountain.
The sky is long and the water is far away, and it is difficult to blow off the flute and fall into a dream.
According to the theory of flat water rhyme, its rhythm is as follows:
Ping Ping, Ping Ping, Ping Ping, Ping Ping
Ping Ping Ping, Ping Ping, Ping Ping, Ping Ping
Although there is no obvious mistake, it is a mess in rhyme! The first sentence rhymes with 14 colds, the rhyme with 15 sentences and the conjunctive sentences rhyme with 14 colds, and the whole poem obviously does not rhyme.
According to the new rhyme, the rhythm is as follows:
Ping Ping, Ping Ping, Ping Ping, Ping Ping.
Ping Ping Ping, Ping Ping, Ping Ping, Ping Ping.
First, the sentence "across the mountain" has three flat tails, and the fourth word "inch" is lonely. The fourth word of the sentence "far" and the white-footed word "far" are double-worded.
2. "The sky is long and the water is far away from the Qin Tower", "Qin Tower" is exemplified by the "Legend of the Immortals", it does not refer to the general pavilion, there are usually two interpretations:
First: It refers to the place where Qin Mugong's daughter Langyu and the immortal Xiao Shi lived before they ascended.
Originally, the story of Lang Yu and Xiao Shi was a good story of harmony between husband and wife. However, later allusions to "Qin Lou" were often used to express the sadness of parting. Li Bai once wrote: "Xiao Sheng, Qin E dreams of Qin Louyue..."
Second: "Qin Lou" is homophonic to "Qinglou", another name for brothels in the old days.
Song Liuyong's "Dijia Lane" words: "If you don't have a province, you can forget to take care of the banquet, and you can't find flowers and willows when you're drunk." How do you know Qin Lou? The sound of the jade flute is broken, and the past is difficult to repeat..."
Through the pulse of the whole poem, it is not difficult for us to know that the "Qin Building" here refers to the "Qinglou", that is, the "brothel", and now it mostly refers to bars, dance halls, nightclubs and other "Fengyue places".
Mr. Da Shi is deeply concerned, I don't know which fireworks woman in the Qin Tower? I don't know what kind of charm this dusty woman has that makes this merry "genius" so concerned? In short, from the title "Untitled" to the poem "Acacia is separated by an inch of heavy mountains", it is enough to show that this merry brother "looks through the autumn water" and thinks of the "prostitute". Although the mountains are heavy, the sky is long and the water is far away, and Qin Lou is Miaomiao, but Brother Merry's heart has already flown to the side of the fireworks girl... But a dream is a dream after all, on the one hand, the sound of the fireworks woman's flute is blown off and it is heart-wrenching, and on the other hand, the merry brother is lovesick all night long, tossing and turning, unable to sleep...
At this point, even if it is not good, we have to admire the courage and courage of our "big wet man"! How many people in today's poetry world dare to write so blatantly about their personal feelings of holding prostitutes and thinking about prostitutes? How many people can write about their feelings about prostitutes and prostitutes so "high, big, and noble"?
It can really be described as a "big wet man" who "has all the foreign appearances, but doesn't know what to be ashamed of"!
Therefore, Mr. Dashi's quotation of "Qin Lou" in the poem is not only inappropriate, but also full of foreign appearance! The author's original intention may be to borrow the artistic conception of Li Bai's "Qin Lou Yue" to express the pain of parting and lovesickness with his lover, but because he did not understand the meaning of the allusion of "Qin Lou" and the artistic conception to be expressed in the poem, he forcibly borrowed the meaning of "Qin Lou" to go to the kiln and escort prostitutes to the first meaning of "Qin Lou". That is to say, Mr. Da Shi used to go to "a certain brothel" to hold prostitutes, and one of them has been separated for a long time, but now they are separated by many mountains, and they have not been masked for many years (for a long time), and they miss it very much in their hearts... Friends, look at it, there are still "brothels" and "prostitutes" in today's society? Does that make sense? If you insist on saying that there is, it can only be said that it is a "black shop" and a "secret prostitute", so that Mr. Dashi, you have violated the laws of the country by soliciting prostitution, and you will not only be strongly condemned by the society, but also severely punished by the laws of the country... And you are shameless, and you dare to brazenly publicize that you have prostituted and have a love affair with a prostitute, and think about it day and night... When you write like this, do you want to prove that you are also a romantic genius like Tang Bohu, Chu Liuxiang, Qin Guan, Zhou Bangyan, and Liu Sanbian? Ridiculous no?
So it's not impossible to use allusions, but you can't just use them without understanding and using them indiscriminately!
Revised draft: (flat water rhyme / new rhyme are acceptable)
The rain hits the frost and the maple embroiders the curtain cold, and the lovesickness is an inch of tears.
The sky is long and the water is wide and Qin Huai is far away, and it is difficult to fall asleep with the sound of the flute.
Pseudo-absolute three: looking far
The leaves are in a hurry to sing autumn songs, and the clouds are sprinkled with thousands of mountains and drizzle.
Standing on the riverside, people look far away, and the water and sky do not see a sail.
According to the theory of flat water rhyme, the law of flat water is as follows:
Ping Ping Ping, Ping Ping, Ping Ping, Ping Ping.
It's a lot of mediocre, it's a lot of it, it's a lot of it.
1. The "urgent" in the first sentence is a sound word, so it is a word. In terms of vocal rhythm, there is no problem with the rhythm of the whole poem.
2. "Ye Piao" is "vulgar", the semantics are simple and straightforward, and it has a slight meaning of "frivolous".
3. Clouds sprinkle thousands of mountains and drizzle. This sentence is an obvious sick sentence. Normally, we know that "rain" can be sprinkled, but how can "clouds" be "sprinkled"? This sentence shows that the author did not learn Chinese well in primary school.
4. Standing by the river, people look far away,
The "people" here are redundant, and the author is obviously making up words, wasting precious pen and ink. Everyone who understands the meaning of the whole sentence a little will come to the following conclusion: The person standing by the river and looking into the distance must be a person, is it still a monster?
Revised draft: (Pingshui rhyme)
The leaves wander in the wind and sing autumn songs, and the rain sprinkles thousands of mountains and birds.
Standing at the head of the river, looking far away, the water and the sky do not see a sail.
Do you think I'm right? Welcome to leave a message to discuss, please criticize and correct the inappropriateness!
