After a long time, we are also parents, IVF is a road full of bitterness, people who can succeed once are happy, and those who fail are not too unlucky, there will always be your spring ahead.
Based on my experience, I summarize the following 5 points of experience, and share them in the hope that it can help you:
1. Having children is a matter for both husband and wife
This is a very simple truth, but for some couples, such a simple request is not possible. The two parties here refer to emotional, not physiological, everyone knows that physiological problems are uncontrollable, and the party to the problem does not want to, so the husband and wife cannot use this to accuse each other, let alone use it as a coercion.
First, do both parties strongly want to have children? At first glance, it may not seem like a problem, but for some couples it becomes a problem, a friend of mine is 35 years old and wants to have a child and wants to go to see reproduction, but his husband puts up a lot of reasons not to want it and refuses to go to see it;
Second, did the two parties agree to do the test tube? Because it costs money, time, and energy to make a test tube;
Third, does your husband support you? The support from the husband is very important, after all, doing reproductive technology or IVF is not done at once, you need to rush the probability, you need physical support, and sometimes you need to be taken care of by others, from this aspect you can see whether your husband cares about you; However, for some people, their husbands don't support it, but they insist on doing a test tube to have a boy and take back their husband's heart, and there are still some in this regard;
Couples who are in harmony and communicate well can reduce the pain after failure.
Giving birth to a child is a matter between husband and wife, and the person who has to threaten his in-laws is really immature, in fact, you can quarrel with your in-laws with integrity.
There is also a meaning of both parties here, that is, not being able to have children does not necessarily mean that it is the fault of one party's body, I think in fact, both parties have more or less problems, but most men have good faces, as long as the sperm is not too bad, they think they are fine.
2. The body is the capital of the revolution and the first element of whether you can have children
You can feel uncomfortable when you are sick, but reproductive problems are very rarely uncomfortable, all reproductive systems are in the body, you can't see it, usually you feel that you don't have any major reproductive problems, but when you really want to give birth, the problems come a bunch of them. Especially for women's problems, if you don't pay attention to them from childhood to adulthood and don't have adult guidance, then the chance of problems will be greatly increased.
The rapid development of the country, the increase in problem food, and environmental pollution are a major factor in the increase of infertility; There is also the fact that women do not pay attention to the maintenance of the reproductive system since childhood, do not pay attention to a balanced diet, and do not pay attention to exercise, which will constitute reproductive problems; There are also sequelae caused by miscarriage and ectopic pregnancy.
Men's problems are easier to deal with, as long as the spermatogenic function exists, sperm can definitely be extracted, but women's problems are not easy to handle, ovaries, fallopian tubes, uterus, vagina, four dimensions in one, especially the ovaries are the most critical, it is too important, and a woman's age is its natural enemy, so it is normal for old women to often fail to do IVF. Some people have either this or that problem, compared to people who do IVF, the ovaries and uterus are the key, and it is recommended to start from these two aspects to maintain the body.
3. Pregnancy is the probability, and all the current reproductive technologies are only increasing the probability of pregnancy
Some people will say that if you want to get pregnant and do IVF, it will definitely work. In fact, this is misleading, and IVF only increases the probability of pregnancy. Why is the hit rate so high in natural pregnancy, because according to normal physiology, the number of couples having sex within 1 year is very large, and the chance of natural conception is greatly increased, but the physiological conditions of natural conception are very harsh for some couples with reproductive problems.
If the test tube fails, the patient must ask the doctor: Why is this happening? Sometimes the doctor gives some uncertain answers, why? Because reproductive technology is still in the development stage, many unknown problems have not yet been found, and it is really difficult for you to ask the doctor to give an exact answer.
Therefore, everyone should be mentally prepared for failure, even if you do a test tube is only a probability event, if you are healthy, you will already be naturally pregnant, and you can do the test tube itself has proved that your reproductive system has gone wrong.
4. On the road to pregnancy, please don't be too superstitious about traditional Chinese medicine
Many people's path to pregnancy is like this: the so-called famous doctor or home remedies-gynecology-formal Chinese medicine practitioner introduced by a friend, these cycles have been fruitless many times, and then they officially seek reproductive science.
Of course, it's not that Chinese medicine is ineffective, and there is no need to go online here!
You must know that in the treatment of infertility, the strength of Chinese medicine focuses on the conditioning of physical functions! Therefore, we should not be too superstitious about Chinese medicine, and Western medicine is the first choice for the treatment of reproductive diseases.
5. Accept failure calmly
As mentioned above, IVF is only a probabilistic event, and there is no guarantee of 100%, and failure is a common thing. However, many people have invested a lot of money, time, and energy in this area, but in exchange for such a result, it is impossible to say that they are not sad.
But this is the way things are, you have to accept this result, cry and hurt, and then continue on the road, any pain can be diluted, hope is always in front of you, as long as you don't fall, there is still a chance, if you fall, there is no chance.
Summary: Everything has to be done within your means, children are not everything, you can choose to adopt or not; If the husband or family does not understand, you can choose a more chic life; Money can't support it, you can choose a compromise point and don't think about these for the time being, maybe there will be surprises; It's all about your heart.