The people-pleasing personality is an unhealthy personality type, which is extremely damaging to the development of the individual and the experience of happiness in life. Most people-pleasing personalities are accompanied by anxiety, depression, and lack of values. Therefore, early detection of problems and early changes are the most effective.
Before mentioning changing the people-pleasing personality, there are two concepts that need to be distinguished in advance:
The first is that the pleasing personality is not the same as kindness, the pleasing personality is out of some kind of concern and worry, and against the will to use the pleasing way to deal with affairs, this way of dealing with things is already inertial thinking, definitely not occasional, but solidified, kindness is without worries and worries, and does not ask for returns.
The second is about self-acceptance, which is not the same as lying flat, not the same as letting go. Self-acceptance refers to accepting and accepting one's own shortcomings and shortcomings, not being anxious about it, but definitely not giving up on oneself, but constantly overcoming difficulties and solving problems based on objective reality.
How to solve the pleasing personality, Kitten Test Network believes that this requires us to first understand the nature of the pleasing personality, as well as the psychological thoughts and thoughts of the pleasing personality, and analyze it from a psychological point of view.
People-pleasing personality test
https://www.xmcs.cn/x/thx
Know how to say no appropriately
People with a pleasing personality always like to think from the position of others, always unconsciously ignore their own deep thoughts, no matter what others say or do, they always endlessly cater to it, and if you want to change such a personality, you must start by learning to refuse.
Pandering is not in exchange for respect, and will even be despised by others, and rejecting others is their own right, but also the right that others cannot interfere with, learn to respect your true thoughts more, and don't feel guilty because of rejecting others, gradually, it will naturally get rid of the pleasing personality.
Sometimes rejecting someone is not a bad thing, on the contrary, it can make us more relaxed, more relaxed and confident.
For mental health testing and screening, you can refer to the SCL-90 scale, and for the detection and screening of mental illness, you can refer to the mmpi Minnesota Multiple Personality Test. For the detection and screening of personality disorders, the PDQ-4+ scale can be referred to.
SCL-90 scale
https://www.zxgj.cn/g/scl90
MMPI scale
https://www.mmpi.cn
Personality Disorders PDQ-4+ Scale
https://www.xmcs.cn/x/pdq4
Learn to accept your imperfections
People who habitually please others, no matter what others say or do, like to cater to others, and also like to be recognized by others by touting others, however, the value of the individual lies in how the individual is embodied, not how others define themselves.
In life, we must learn to accept our own imperfections, but also realize that we have unique aspects, and do not blindly conform to the crowd and cater to others. Accepting our imperfections and acknowledging ourselves allows us to respect ourselves and gradually learn to cater to ourselves rather than others.
Everyone has shortcomings, and gradually accepting the lack can allow us to treat ourselves objectively and fairly, and gradually get rid of the character of catering to others.
24 personality strength tests
https://www.zxgj.cn/g/via
MBTI Occupational Personality Test
https://www.xmcs.cn/x/mbti93
Do everything you can to boost your self-confidence
People with a pleasing personality are generally fragile and humble people, and no matter what they do, they will try their best to satisfy others because of their lack of self-confidence, and subconsciously pay attention to what others think.
You should become self-confident, feel that you are no different from others, and do not blindly emphasize to cater to others, but admit yourself, act boldly, and refuse to be the shadow of others.
Improving self-confidence allows us to treat ourselves objectively and fairly, realize our own value, and then get rid of the influence of others, and will not blindly cater to others.
Occupational personality test
https://www.xmcs.cn/d/zhiye
Mental illness testing
https://www.xmcs.cn/z/xinli
Think about things from multiple perspectives
People with a pleasing personality have a particularly simple way of thinking about problems, and will only focus on others and consider whether the outcome of things is beneficial to others, rather than focusing on themselves and thinking about whether what they are going to do next is beneficial to themselves. And if you want to get rid of this wrong thinking, you should know how to be self-centered and master the right way of thinking.
Knowing how to think about problems from the perspective of others is the experience of empathy, but in this world, the self is the center, you can't put the cart before the horse, I am the center of all problems, as the saying goes, people don't destroy for themselves, and the same is true of its meaning.
When a person becomes more concerned about the pros and cons and pays more attention to his own rights and interests, he will gradually satisfy his own enjoyment and needs, rather than blindly catering to others and letting others get benefits.
Mastering the right way of thinking allows us to pay more attention to ourselves and get rid of the people-pleasing personality.
Big 5 personality test
https://www.zxgj.cn/g/dawurenge
Personal Strengths Assessment
https://www.zxgj.cn/g/nl
Improve presentation skills and presentation skills
People with a pleasing personality are often in a state of fear whether they do things or speak, because they are afraid that their words and deeds will go wrong, which will lead to harm the interests of others, and when there are disagreements with others, they do not dare to face up to their own opinions and have been suppressing themselves.
To get rid of the people-pleasing personality, you can start by fully expressing yourself, as long as you have differences with others, you can boldly say your thoughts, let others listen to your own voice, gradually, others can also consider themselves, and they will not blindly accommodate others.
And the way of expression is skillful, the same meaning with different expressions, the effect is different, euphemistic expression can not only leave space for the other party, but also improve the pattern for yourself.
Learning to express oneself is to express one's own opinions, to explore problems from one's own standpoint, and to get rid of the people-pleasing personality.