It is better to teach a man to fish than to teach him to fish.
When we are in our fifties, our children have grown up, and we are faced with the opportunities and challenges of finding a partner.
Many parents, as long as it is a day off, go to the blind date corner in the park to check the relevant information and remember the young people they like.
However, what the parents do, the children will not be satisfied, and they will even feel that the parents are forcing marriage and meddling.
From the perspective of personal freedom and mutual respect, parents should not tightly entangle their children about what kind of object they will find, but tell their children some ways to recognize people.
When children have their own "vision", the object they find is not only satisfactory to them, but also basically meets the requirements of their parents. Such an ending was originally the result of the "subtle" influence of parents.
The ancestor left an ancient saying: "The top three shoulders are on the back, and they can be rich even if they are not expensive." ”
In connection with today's society, we can use the old to bring forth the new and interpret the meaning of the ancient precepts, which has become a very good skill in recognizing people.
01
Being a man, "the top three shoulders on the back", indicates that people are prosperous and prosperous.
During the Three Kingdoms period, there was a warlock who could gaze at the stars at the age of eight or nine; When he became an adult, he was proficient in "Zhou Yi", divination, physiognomy, etc., and also learned bird language.
He once said: "There is no three on the back, and there is no three on the belly, which is the test of immortality." ”
This sentence was addressed to him himself, and it also verified the fact that he did not live long, only forty-eight years old.
In the knowledge of warlocks, "A" is the field. The top three are the three hills and fields together. In appearance, it is "壘", that is, the simplified word "base".
There is a saying in "Shuo Wen Jie Zi": "A, the Meng Yang Qi of the East is sprouting. "It is a sign that everything is budding and life begins.
Obviously, the popular meaning of the top three is to have a field, a thick back, and be able to carry it.
"Yijia": the fields are abundant, and the money is worry-free.
It is also a good choice to find someone with good economic conditions to support yourself for the rest of your life, and it is even better if you provide for each other.
Yin Tianqiu in "The King of Comedy" fell in love with the dancer Liu Piaopiao, although they were both of humble status, but because of Yin Tianqiu's sentence "I raise you", Liu Piaopiao was moved, and the love continued to heat up.
If you think about it seriously, if a person keeps saying "I love you", but he can't even manage a meal, it is very unreliable.
Firewood, rice, oil, and salt are essential factors for a family. The ancients had land, and farming could bring harvest; Today, we not only have a field, but also a job, which is the basic condition for finding a partner.
"Second grade": healthy, practical and powerful.
As the old saying goes: "The shoulders should be flat and thick, and you can take on great responsibilities; The back should be plump, not expensive and rich. ”
We are accustomed to using the term "tiger back and bear waist" to describe a man with a strong body. Although a woman looks gentle, she cannot be sick.
Find a healthy person to be your partner, and for future generations, both husband and wife. In addition, healthy couples, when they are old, can still take care of each other and see the scenery together.
Of course, the standard of health should be based on the actual situation. For example, a person with a beautiful mind and a disabled foot should be considered a healthy person.
"Top three": responsibility in the body, hand in hand for a lifetime.
Love mentor Tu Lei said: "What do you think is the responsibility? You think that the responsibility is to stay with each other for life, throwing a few dollars at home. The real responsibility is to care about the feelings of your loved ones every minute and every second. ”
Either you don't love, or you love for a lifetime; Either don't start, and don't stop once you start.
If you haven't thought it through, then wait a while, let each other think calmly, make a decision, and then fall in love. Otherwise, a lot of time will be wasted by casually talking.
Most people with a sense of responsibility can show that they have a good character. This is a condition to consider when looking for a partner in any era.
02
If the subject does not have a "top three shoulders", it is necessary to learn to be flexible.
Mencius said, "It is better to believe in books than to have no books." ”
If you insist on following the map, you will also miss the right object, which obviously will not work.
When we meet the right person, we must learn to adjust our state and change our mental outlook with the object.
In the eyes of the ancients, human appearance could be changed.
The opera artist Guan Hanqing wrote a story.
During the Tang Dynasty, there was a man named Pei Du, whose parents died early, and he was unwilling to follow his uncle in business, so he studied in the mountain temple.
When a sorcerer saw Pedo, he said, "If you have a snake under your feet, you will starve to death in the ditch in a few years." ”
It can be seen that Pei Du's appearance is very bad, and if he is not careful, he will fall into the ditch, and he will not even be able to support himself, and he will starve to death.
A few days later, a woman, Han, came to pray in the mountain temple and accidentally lost the jade belt she was carrying. Pei Du picked up the jade belt, was very anxious, and went to return it immediately.
On the other end, Han's mother and daughter were so anxious that they were about to commit suicide.
It turned out that this jade belt was given by Li Bangyan, the imperial court interviewer, to save Han's husband Han Taishou who was in prison.
The warlock went to the mountain temple again and said, "Yin Dewen has a great view, and he will definitely be a supreme minister, and he will be old and rich. ”
Sure enough, Pei Duzhong was the champion, became the prime minister, and married Han's daughter Han Qiongying.
From the perspective of the law of cause and effect, a person changes his fate by doing good deeds, working hard as a husband and wife, uniting relatives and friends, being filial to his parents, taking the initiative to learn, and being diligent and thrifty. This is the "flexible appearance".
As it is said in the "Four Teachings of Liaofan": "You must know what is wrong every day, and change every day; One day does not know what is wrong, that is, one day is content with oneself; No mistakes can be changed in one day, that is, there is no step in one day. ”
Maintain a positive outlook every day, exercise your body, and do good deeds and accumulate virtues, how can there be a good reason?
Therefore, when parents tell their children how to look at people, they should also tell them to establish a positive image, and ask the "quasi-target" to pay attention to their own virtues, establish lofty ideals, and invite the "top three" to themselves.
03
When looking for a partner, you should not only look at the face, but also look at the words and deeds "behind".
People who can be relied on are the same in person and on the back, never deceive, and will not be unable to bear the pressure of life.
The path of life was given by parents at the beginning; Later, he broke out on his own; Later, it was built by husband and wife.
Parents have taken the first step in helping their children, and they must continue to help them and send them to their own small families.
At the age of fifty, looking at the children who are not deeply involved in the world, it is inevitable that they will be anxious. But it's useless to be in a hurry, or to instill some ways to make a living and make love, and take a long-term view.
Finally, I hope that the young people of the world will eventually become dependents, live up to their parents and themselves.
Author: Cloth Clothes Coarse Food.
Follow my words and go into your heart.
The pictures in the article come from the Internet.