Zhou Yunzhi and I are childhood sweethearts, and we are in love.
After he went on the expedition, I took care of his parents for six years and boiled myself into an old girl.
But when he came back from the battlefield, he said that he already had a sweetheart, and asked me not to entangle.
The neighbors laughed at me for waiting for nothing, and the family hated me for not being honest.
So I was forced to hang myself from a beam.
When I opened my eyes again, fifteen-year-old Zhou Yunzhi stepped on the bricks and hung on the wall, asking me which girl I was...
Zhou Yunzhi's sentence "Wait for me", I waited for six years.
I thought he would marry me when he returned from the battlefield, but he rejected all the sons who courted me, and refused to marry.
In the past six years, I have helped him take care of his elderly parents under ridicule and ridicule, and treated me as the daughter-in-law of the Zhou family to handle everything for them.
Zhou's mother held my hand more than once and cried, saying that if Zhou Yunzhi was sorry for me, it would be thunder that day.
But when he came back to surrender to me, God didn't open his eyes and split any thunder.
He sat down in his chair with a frown, frowning and calmly telling my parents that it was a misunderstanding.
He said that he was just young and ignorant before, mistaking family affection for love, and he didn't like me, and he wouldn't marry me.
"This is a thousand taels of silver tickets, which is a little compensation for me."
He is already the fourth product of the capital, and every word he says is very weighty.
So even if his father and mother hated his ruthlessness, he could only suppress his anger and accept the silver ticket at this moment.
I walked out from behind the screen door, ignoring the obstruction of the maid and servant, and walked straight to Zhou Yunzhi:
"So you've changed your mind?"
I looked at him, "You didn't count all the things you said before, did you?"
「...... Yes."
He was hoarse and looked down at me.
The atmosphere in the hall was very depressing, the parents were red-eyed, and the maids who served them were crying quietly.
Everyone was feeling sorry for me, and everyone was rebuking him for his ruthlessness with their eyes.
I didn't feel anything by myself.
I was in so much pain, it hurt so much that my whole brain was wooden.
So when he asked me for the jade ring that I had made a love for, I actually handed it over happily.
"I've kept it very well, you see, and I've had the craftsman cover it with silver where it's broken."
I tried to blink my eyes so that the tears did not flow, and I pretended to talk to him easily: "I thought we were going to get married, so..."
"So I took it upon myself to engrave in the silver... Engraved the two of us... name."
I said this with a smile, but two tears also fell after saying it.
My mother suddenly rushed up to hug me and cried bitterly, she scolded Zhou Yunzhi loudly for being shameless, saying that he had lost his conscience and could not die well.
My father hugged me and my mother, trembled and apologized, saying that Uchiko was in a bad mood today and didn't mean to collide with the general.
After that, he asked the servant to invite Zhou Yunzhi out.
Zhou Yunzhi stood up, didn't say a word, and put a title deed before leaving, which was a house in the capital and could be worth a lot of money.
There was a cry in the room, and I saw in the haze that Zhou Yunzhi staggered and stumbled when he crossed the threshold.
But he didn't look back.
2
The news of the Zhou family's marriage to the bride spread throughout the city overnight like a spring breeze.
Everyone talked about Zhou Yunzhi's return to his hometown, and they were also curious about the bride he was going to marry.
Of course, they are more curious about why I don't cry or make trouble, and obediently quit the marriage.
You must know that the old couple of the Zhou family chased their son for two miles for this matter, and even forced Zhou Yunzhi on a hunger strike.
It's a pity that it's all useless.
No one could stop him from marrying the woman.
After Zhou's mother knocked on the door of the house, she knelt in the direction of my parents, she cried and said sorry, saying that she did not raise her son well and failed me.
Daddy didn't accept it, and her mother told her to get out.
I collapsed on the bunk and cried heartbreakingly, clutching my chest and gasping for breath.
"Why! Why the hell?"
I wailed and asked myself, "Why is this happening to me, am I wrong?"
"Am I wrong to bet on the people I love for the rest of my life!?"
Six years, my most youthful and beautiful six years.
I rejected countless talented and good-looking sons, and carried all the gossip, in exchange for this ending?
I can't figure it out, I really can't figure it out.
The boy who climbed the wall every day to talk to me and was injured all over his body seemed to be dead.
My Zhou Yunzhi, he's dead.
I cried until my eyes were hazy, and it didn't change anything, but it caused my family to suffer with me.
The story of my shamelessness, private promise and abandonment, spread more and more in the city.
My sister and brother were discussed by their peers because of my affairs, and my father and mother were ridiculed as tutors.
Everybody was laughing at me, everybody was waiting to see me laugh.
On the day of Zhou Yunzhi's wedding, the clan elders stepped on a piece of red paper and came to the house, led by the old man holding a white cloth in his hand.
My mother ran to me and yelled at me to run.
My younger brothers and sisters hugged the patriarch's waist and cried and told me to leave.
My father couldn't say a word, knelt on the ground and said that he would hand over all the family property, and only begged the people to give me a way to live.
But it's all useless.
My people have been implicated by me, and their reputation has been ruined.
What's more, because of me, the family has offended the Zhou family, and in order to save it, I can only die.
Before being tied to the white silk, I heard gongs and drums beating in the alley across the wall, and the suona was blowing a celebratory song.
There are children cheering, saying pleasing auspicious words, firecrackers exploding, and the excitement is like a festival.
The four joys of life are flowers and candles in the cave room, presumably Zhou Yunzhi is very happy at this moment.
I tilted my head and closed my eyes, kicking the stool away.
The cries and beatings outside the door intensified, but I couldn't hear them anymore.
3
In a trance, my body seemed to be falling, and it seemed to be floating in the air.
I opened my eyes in confusion, and I met the eyes of a handsome young man.
"Little lady over there, what's your name?"
He clinged to the bricks at the top of the wall, smiling and waving in my direction.
But when he saw me looking up, he blushed in embarrassment.
It is fifteen-year-old Zhou Yunzhi.
It was also the first time we met.
Then I realized that I might have been born again.
Blinking and holding back tears, I bit my lip and ran away in the midst of another call from him.
Carrying the hem of the skirt, he ran faster and faster, and finally threw himself into the arms of his father, who was looking at the lanterns, and hugged his neck and cried loudly.
My mother frowned worriedly and asked me what was wrong.
Daddy patted me on the back and told me to speak boldly.
Even my younger siblings, who had just turned four, held their heads high and shouted who dared to bully my sister.
I cried and shook my head, my throat so choked that I couldn't speak.
I don't know why I'm back at thirteen, or how long I'll be able to stay.
When Zhou Zhuang can dream of butterflies, I don't know.
All I know is that even if it was just a dream before I died, I didn't want to be involved with that person in my dream.
I'm scared, I'm really scared.
Even my mother's father and father, let my younger brothers and sisters suffer because of my taste, I tasted it once and was afraid.
I don't regret the six years of youth I have paid, I only regret the involvement of my family.
I hated myself for being too deep and too stupid in love.
So this time, when Zhou Yunzhi "bumped into" me in the bookstore in the name of copying books, I passed by him without squinting.
He didn't give up and quickly caught up and asked for my name again.
The young man's star-like eyes reflected all me, and his sincerity and love were clear at a glance, but this time I wouldn't accept it.
"Get out of the way, I'm going home."
I whispered to him, "I don't know you, and I don't want to know you, can you stop pestering me."
The word entanglement came out of my mouth, and my heart was in a trance.
I looked at him who was so handsome in the sun that he didn't look like a real person, and I felt really sad.
Because when facing him today, I will still be timid, and I will still be tempted by him.
I think...... It's going to take a long, long time for me to let go of him.
After all, I have spent six years carving him into my mind, and it takes time to forget it quickly.
I thought so, and I refused.
Zhou Yunzhi pursed his lips and looked at me directly, and suddenly his face slowly turned red:
"I'm not Meng Lang's person... I...... I can't tell... I just feel like on this street... I see you alone."
The fiery emotions of teenagers are the most moving, but I don't accept them.
Shaking my head, I whispered, "I don't know what to say," and took the maid Xiaomei's hand and ran away.
I'm not worried that he will catch up, because Zhou Yunzhi also wants face.
But I didn't expect him to lose his face now.
As soon as I arrived at the Yunlai Inn to ask for a pot of tea, he jumped out and said to me seriously and resolutely:
"I fell in love with you at first sight, and I really liked it."
"I know it's weird, but I really like you and like you so much, and when I see you, I feel like we're meant to be together."
"Don't bother me, I know I'm annoying, and I'm not like myself now, but I like it."
He spoke incoherently, and at the end he smiled at me:
"My name is Zhou Yunzhi, and I know the word."
"I like you very much, I will definitely marry you back home!"
4
After I sternly refused that day, Zhou Yunzhi did not give up.
He used all his thoughts to please me, and every night he would climb the wall and learn how to meow to make people annoyed.
I didn't show up and he could scream until the next morning.
But when I walked to the wall with a frown, he smirked and didn't speak, only to hand me pastries and things.
Once I deliberately broke the puppet in front of him, telling him that I didn't like this kind of shoddy stuff and that my dad could buy me better and more beautiful ones.
He didn't speak, staring straight at the little puppet at my feet.
He left early that day, and jumped off the wall without saying a word to me.
I breathed a sigh of relief, thinking to myself that he wouldn't come.
I know that Zhou Yunzhi is not like this in front of others, his self-esteem is very strong, and my humiliation is no less than a slap in the face for him.
After that, I didn't see him again.
Thinking of this, I looked up at the dark night sky, picked up the small puppet on the ground, wiped it clean, and walked back slowly.
I thought we would never see each other again, but on the third night he came again.
This time he was even more daring, and actually climbed over the wall directly, standing outside the small courtyard and knocking on my window.
I was startled and started crying.
He slapped himself twice in a panic, whispered an apology to me that he didn't mean to, and then retreated back to the wall and talked to me in the night with a pig's face.
"You said you liked good-looking ones before, and I found them for you."
He was a little smug and threw a small bag at me with a wink of his eyes.
I opened it with some curiosity, and I saw a small ivory cat nestled in the layers of cotton cloth.
And in the cat's hand is a concentric ball with exquisite craftsmanship.
The circle of stamens smaller than ants dotted the bone ball, and the moonlight shone like this, exuding a brilliant brilliance.
"It's beautiful!"
Affected by my body, I love this little thing very much, and I hold it in my hand and constantly look at the bone ball rolling.
Seeing that I like it, Zhou Yunzhi is also happy.
He was smiling and watching me play.
It wasn't until I realized that I shouldn't have taken his things, and I was on my feet to return him, that he spoke:
"What have you done to me, this is my gift to you!"
"My mother said that when you meet someone you like, you have to do what you like, otherwise the little lady will take a fancy to someone else to marry."
"It's expensive."
I pursed my lips and ignored his words, stubbornly trying to stuff the kitten into him: "I don't like you, I don't want to take your things."
"Why, you like it!"
He was in a hurry, raised his leg and tumbled off the wall, and stuffed it into my arms in a panic: "You like it, you take it, I bought it for you!"
"I don't like it!"
I couldn't help yelling at him, "I don't like kittens, and I don't like you either!"
"I'll never like you!"
I cried this sentence, I don't want to like him anymore, I don't want to be involved with him again in this life.
Today's heartbeats have disappeared without a trace in the years he has been in the army.
A disputed liking can turn into a misunderstanding.
I don't want to like him anymore.
Forever.
5
Since that day, Zhou Yunzhi has not come again.
This time I'm sure he won't.
Because he left with a white face.
Holding the kitten, he staggered off the wall.
I saw him rubbing his eyes with red eyes.
After repeated blows, he finally learned to die.
In this way, we will not cross paths again.
Wait a little longer, I said to myself, give yourself some more time, and I'll forget about him, forget the good memories we had.
I swore I wouldn't love him anymore, and I did what I said.
It was only the day after saying this that I met him again.
In the restaurant, I and a group of little sisters were eating snacks and watching the troupe sing, while he carried firewood on his back and pushed the wooden cart to unload in the back kitchen.
It's something I've never seen before.
Dressed in a handy shirt and with a pair of torn cloth shoes, he diligently carried firewood from trip to place.
I know his family is not rich, but I am not reduced to the point where I need him to go up the mountain to chop wood!
Even in the six years he joined the army, I served the second elder, and my family was never so poor.
What happened to him?
Who bullied him?
I walked to the back kitchen without knowing it, hiding behind the curtain and peeking.
I saw him talking to the guy in a calm voice, and then bargaining with the shopkeeper about the price, and he talked for a long time.
In the end, the shopkeeper still couldn't resist him, and he relented and agreed to order all his goods at the price of 2 cents for a bundle of firewood.
It was only until this that Zhou Yunzhi showed a little smile, with a hint of a teenager on his face.
Seeing him smile, the shopkeeper sighed:
"In the past, you hunted more than enough to feed your family, why did you suddenly use all your savings to gamble, you are on the wrong path!"
"I know I'm wrong."
Zhou Yunzhi didn't defend himself, just lowered his head and touched his pocket: "But I don't regret it."
"You, you, alas!"
The shopkeeper couldn't go on, so he threw up his sleeves and left.
He was left alone to move goods.
I hid behind the door and covered my mouth, trying not to cry or cry.
It has always been like this, if Zhou Yunzhi wants to be good to a person, he will never complain wholeheartedly.
He emptied his savings and bought an ivory kitten for me, even if I didn't like him, he didn't complain, and seemed to be good to me.
That's how I fell step by step, and finally lost myself...
Thinking of this, I wiped away my tears and walked in.
He looked up in my direction as if he had some sense, and when he saw me, he instantly blushed and blocked in front of the wooden cart:
"Lili, it's not what you think... Actually, I..."
"Leave me alone."
I was tired, and I looked at him with pain: "You know my attitude, and you know that I won't accept it, so why do you want to do useless work."
"I really won't like you."
6
I said absolutely nothing, and I didn't give myself any chance to regret it, nor did I give Zhou Yunzhi any chance to refute.
After saying this, I put down the fifty-tael silver ticket and turned to leave.
After a few days of the kitten barking on the wall, I let the servants drive them away for a few days.
When my father and mother knew that someone was squatting on the wall, they sneered: "My good man, this kind of person is not willing to marry."
"Since you are happy, ask the matchmaker to ask! What does it look like to climb the wall every day!"
"It's nothing more than a disciple! This kind of man is not worth entrusting for life!"
The mother scolded angrily, and the father also echoed him and said that he was not good.
I smiled brightly and nodded and said I understood.
I've grown up in love all my life, so I've always looked at emotions from the most tolerant perspective.
Zhou Yunzhi's various actions are indeed too light for me.
No wonder his mother complained that he was not a good person.
Thinking of this, I calmly looked at the sky, and took the initiative to ask my mother for the things that were fed by the host, time is the best medicine, if I will be sad when I see it, then I will not see.
The past life is a thing of the past, and it's time for me to let go.
My mother had the heart to test my courage, so she handed me the accounts of several shops in her hand to check.
I never bothered about this kind of thing before, so it was very difficult to get started for the first time.
But after learning to read people and settle accounts with my mother, my horizons have broadened a lot, and I have seen some things farther and longer.
On that day, I checked the ledger and walked out of my shop, and was stopped again.
I looked at the young man in front of me calmly and asked softly what you were doing.
"I knew I wasn't worthy of you, so I played a trick."
Zhou Yunzhi bowed his head: "But don't worry, I will enter the barracks in a few days." I will try my best to get the title of officer and come back, and in the future, I will come to the door to propose marriage."
This sentence seems familiar, but it can no longer move me.
I looked at him quietly, then shook my head: "It's your business to go into battle to kill the enemy, and it's also your desire to return to your hometown for military merit, and you shouldn't impose these on me."
"Even without me, you'll go to the barracks. I can understand that people who are not willing to be ordinary want to stand out, but please don't pretend that everything is for me."
"I can't afford it."
I said it very bluntly, and I skimmed it very neatly, and Zhou Yunzhi could be said to have left in a trance.
I didn't bother to look at his sad eyes again, how can I go back to the past, we are destined to have nothing to do with each other in this life.
However, he saved me a lot of trouble in the end, and I put all my mind on studying, and little by little corrected the self who ignored the world.
So far, I learned that I can buy a lot of things for a penny, and the cooking skills of the stall owner at the entrance of the alley can not lose the spring building, and the original market day is particularly important for ordinary people, it turns out...
There are many important things and people in the world, but I am only willing to watch Zhou Yun.
It's me who is too narrow.
Thankfully, it's still too late.
I teased my younger siblings with a sugar gourd, watching them chase after me and laughing, sighing that this beauty is what I should protect.
7
It's just that......
In the middle of the play, my eyes suddenly met with a few children on the street corner.
Their clothes were ragged and their hair was messy, and a few snots were sticking behind their ears.
When they saw me, they shrank back in a panic, not daring to look at me.
"Beggar?"
I wondered, "Daddy, are they beggars?"
This dress and expression really don't look like the children of farmers or craftsmen, but my father's answer made me stunned.
"It's a good thing to be a beggar."
Daddy followed my line of sight, sighed, and touched the heads of his younger siblings, "They are the children of military households."
"Only a few can win military merits on the battlefield, and most soldiers will only die in battle."
"How long can the imperial court's pension be managed, and often the family will fall into ruin after a short time, and these children will naturally become like this."
"Don't they care about their mothers?"
The younger brother innocently asked, "It's okay to have my mother here."
"I can't feed it."
Daddy rubbed his head, his eyes were very complicated: "Very few orphans and widows can survive, and this world is no less than the eighteenth layer of hell for some people."
I took a deep look at the children and followed my father and mother home without saying a word.
They simply couldn't muster up the energy to observe me, and they didn't see the deep meaning hidden in my eyes.
At night, I lay in bed and thought about it for a long time, and my mind kept tumbling over the words of my father and mother, and finally I made up my mind at dawn.
I told him something about the butler, and then hurried to see my father and mother, and told them my decision carefully.
They were a little surprised, but they didn't say anything to stop it.
Instead, my mother stroked my hair bun and smiled gently: "Go, do it boldly, there will always be us behind you."
So in the spring of the thirteenth year of Qinglong, all the shops in the hands of the Lin family in Jianghuai Huaicheng were fully recruited, and in addition to some of the conditions listed on the red notice paper, an additional sentence was added "no limit to men and women".
The eldest lady of the Lin family personally stood on the platform, helped in the store, and was responsible for attracting customers.
She blushed and felt a little uncomfortable, but she didn't retreat, but plucked up the courage to work hard to promote her products.
Countless young ladies expressed their disappointment and bitterness at her self-depraved behavior, scolded her for not being like a little lady, and ruined the reputation of women.
also said that the daughter of a really good family should not show her face outside to make a living, and it is right to not go out of the door.
Miss Lin's reaction to this was that she recruited a female guy to help run the hall together.