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The day before the wedding, Xiao Li suddenly said to me in a serious manner: "Baby, we are all going to get married, you don't need to prepare so much dowry, you just need to prepare a dowry cart for me, this is our family's tradition."
My eyes widened after hearing this, and I was very surprised: "What? Dowry car? What kind of joke, who still mentions this ancient ritual custom. We are not people from a feudal society, why are you so unrealistic?"
When Xiao Li heard me say this, his face suddenly became ugly: "What's so unrealistic about this?" Our family has done this for generations, and it represents the bride's high status for her husband and the importance she attaches to marriage. If you marry me, how can you not have a dowry car?"
I immediately put on a disapproving look and said flatly, "Of course not!" The dowry I have prepared for you is complete, including cash and property deposits, as well as a down payment to buy a house. Dowry car? People in their thirties, and I will not be prepared to mention such an unrealistic thing. ”
As soon as Xiao Li heard me say this, his face turned red with anger, and he immediately said furiously: "Wang Mei, why do you woman don't understand the rules like this!" The dowry car is an indispensable wedding ceremony for our family, symbolizing the importance that the bride attaches to the family, and you are humiliating me and my family by not giving face so much!"
I also got angry, and immediately sneered at each other: "Okay, since it is so important, then you can prepare a dowry cart for yourself!" My money is earned through hard work, so why spend it on such a fake image? I only believe in practical actions, not empty talk. ”
Xiao Li was angry and slammed the door directly. I stood there alone, also panting. The original romantic and happy wedding eve was ruined by the topic of dowry cars.
In fact, I was also disappointed and sad in my heart. Usually, Xiao Li is very good to me, and his personality is also easygoing, but some traditional concepts are too heavy, and this dowry car incident has magnified our usual differences.
The two of us have very different personalities. I am more independent, realistic and personal, while Xiao Li is more traditional and attaches great importance to family and face. This time I was getting married, and this disagreement was undoubtedly exposed, which made me feel a little surprised and sleepless.
But thinking about it, Xiao Li and I fell in love because of complementarity to overcome the difference. This quarrel may just be a miscommunication style, which caused harm and misunderstanding to the other party.
The next day, I texted Xiao Li to apologize, saying that I was too excited last night and my tone was too heavy. But the issue of the dowry cart can be discussed, not forced.
Xiao Li called back and said that he had also reflected and that I should not be forced to prepare, but he still hoped that I could understand his feelings.
After thinking about it, I felt that I still had to clarify my position, so I proposed to deal with this matter on the principle of "three years".
The system means that I am solely responsible for the economy for the first three years of married life, and then discuss the dowry car after three years. I explained that now that I get married, the financial responsibility is mainly on me, you first fully accompany the child at home for three years, and then the child is older, you can also work stably, and we have more abundant economic conditions to discuss this matter.
Xiao Li thought about it and felt that my suggestion was more reasonable, so he agreed. So the turmoil subsided temporarily.
Although a consensus was reached, I was still a little apprehensive. I am worried that this matter will become a hidden danger in our married life, and I hope that Xiao Li will not always worry about it and bring trouble to our future life.
But on second thought, isn't marriage about mutual understanding, tolerance and support? I believe that as long as both parties have a good attitude, the difference is not terrible, but can promote our growth.
One day more than a year after getting married, Xiao Li's parents came to our house as guests. I carefully prepared a table of meals for the two elderly people.
Just during the meal, my father-in-law and mother-in-law suddenly mentioned the topic of the dowry car of the year, and my heart immediately mentioned the eyes of my throat.
The father-in-law said with a smile: "Mei Mei, we have been married for more than a year, when will the dowry car you prepared be delivered?" Do you know that our ancestors all had the rule of welcoming the dowry car, which was an emphasis on the wife. ”
I smiled awkwardly and pondered, "Dad, Mom, this... Now the society is different, Li Li and I have also discussed, or according to what we said back then, the three-year system will discuss this matter. ”
The mother-in-law immediately frowned and said, "How about the three-year system?" Isn't it a home after marriage, what a share? The dowry cart is our family tradition, and you are not taking our family seriously. ”
I also want to explain that my father-in-law has spoken first: "As your mother said, this is our family's tradition, and you shouldn't have agreed to Li Li's request casually, which made him very faceless." I think I can prepare early, and I will take you to choose a car in a few days. ”
My face turned red as soon as I "brushed", and my heart was very unpleasant. But in the face of the elders, I still tried to say as gently as possible: "Dad, Mom, this matter can't be rushed." The agreement between me and Li Li is to be discussed in three years, and you, as an elder, must also respect the agreement between us. Besides, it has only been more than a year since I got married, and the economic pressure is still very large, and it is unrealistic to buy a car. ”
The faces of the father-in-law and mother-in-law became more and more ugly. In the end, the mother-in-law put down the bowl and chopsticks and said, "I didn't expect that you would ignore our family's traditions, and you young people can't listen to the old people, then we can't help it." Come, wife, let's go home. ”
Embarrassed, I urged them to stay and eat some fruit. The father-in-law was also very unhappy, so he said that his stomach was uncomfortable and left the table directly with his mother-in-law.
After seeing off the two old men, Xiao Li and I did not speak, and the atmosphere was very embarrassing. This thing is like a ticking time bomb that keeps ticking over our heads.
After a few days, Xiao Li spoke first: "Wife, I'm sorry, this time my parents mentioned this matter first, embarrassing you." But you also have to be considerate of their feelings, the dowry car is very important to them. ”
I sighed: "I understand them. But please understand us too. It's only been more than a year since I got married, and it's really unrealistic to buy a car financially. Besides, I didn't say that it was good to make it for three years. ”
"Too. But they are already angry, and this matter cannot be delayed. Otherwise, it will affect family relationships. How about I take out my savings first and we can buy a used car and give it to them? Just as a gift?" Xiao Li suggested.
I thought about the suggestion for a while, but I shook my head and said, "Our biggest expenses right now are mortgages and childcare fees." Buying a car with your savings is not wise enough and will increase the stress of life. Let's eat for another three years, and then the situation will be different. ”
Xiao Li couldn't persuade me, and he didn't mention it anymore. But I know that this matter is not really resolved, it is just put on hold.
After more than two years of marriage, I obtained my long-cherished teacher qualification certificate, and then went to the United States for half a year through public assignment, and my career has developed considerably. Xiao Li also became a department manager in a foreign company.
Our economic situation is getting better. I revisited the "three-year" commitment of that year.
My decision was too radical and idealistic, and did not fully take into account the feelings of Xiao Li and his family. Now why not send them a car as a compromise?
That night, I said to Xiao Li: "Husband, our economic conditions are already good. Or give your parents a car as a dowry car. ”
Xiao Li's eyes widened in surprise: "Really? That's great, wife! You've finally changed your mind!"
I nodded and said, "Well, let's take it as a sign that our relationship is better." But the money is still out, not all inclusive. ”
Xiao Li was very happy and said yes in a loud voice. The next day, he dragged me to choose a car that his parents liked.
The car was quickly delivered to Xiao Li's parents' house. The father-in-law and mother-in-law received the big red float and were happy like two children.
"Haha, I just said that we Meimei is a virtuous and good daughter-in-law and will listen to the old man." The father-in-law said with a smile.
The mother-in-law also nodded happily: "Yes, yes, I still said what kind of gigging at the beginning, and I don't know what nonsense I heard." I'm glad we Mei Mei finally got the hang of it!"
I laughed along and didn't answer. But in my heart, they were happy that I could "know" to deliver the car, but did they also think about why I insisted on the system back then? Do you understand my intentions and position?
But on second thought, people always have weaknesses, and I can't ask them to think completely from my point of view. Sending a car to make them happy should be a sign of my understanding.
But just a week later, Xiao Li's parents came to the door again and offered to change the car to a higher-equipped version. My face was ugly, but I still tried to say as gently as possible: "Mom, this car is already very good, we have also paid over the budget, it is not convenient to change to a more expensive one."
The mother-in-law did not adhere to it: "Oh, that car is too ordinary, we can't live on face." Return another one, it should be part of the dowry, and you and Li Li will not suffer. ”
When I heard her say this, my heart surged with anger and blood, and I couldn't bear to say: "Mom, I sent the car for your sake, but please don't go too far." Dowry should not be a norm in today's society, and I will not take it seriously. This car ends here, my bottom line ends here. ”
After saying these words, I turned around and left, leaving my parents-in-law and my parents-in-law staring dryly in place.
This incident was like a time bomb, and it finally exploded in my heart. I realized that this was not just a question of the dowry car, but of Xiao Li's family not respecting my attitude and position on certain traditional concepts.
That night, I told Xiao Li all about it. He was ashamed and agreed that his parents had gone too far.
"However, they are a traditional concept after all, and it is not easy to change. Can we try to explain your thoughts in a way that they can understand?" Xiao Li suggested.
I thought about it and nodded: "What you said makes sense. I really still need to learn how to communicate more effectively, not antagonistically. ”
Since then, I have tried to learn to express my thoughts and positions in a way that Xiao Li's family can understand - not only face is important, but practical actions are more important; Not only the form, but also the connotation; Preserve traditions and evolve with the times...
Gradually, through patient explanation, Xiao Li's parents also began to understand my thoughts. Especially after hearing that I had obtained my teaching certificate and went abroad for further study, their opinion of me improved significantly.
"It turns out that Xiaomei is such a self-motivated and good girl, isn't it simple!" Once, I heard my mother-in-law praising me like this to a relative.
A feeling of relief arose in my heart. It turns out that understanding goes both ways. Communication is possible as long as I learn to communicate my ideas in a way that is acceptable to the other person.
On the day of my fifth year of marriage, Xiao Li said to me excitedly: "Wife, I have a surprise for you!"
I looked at him suspiciously, only to see him mysteriously take me to the garage, where a brand new and stylish car was parked.
"This is a gift for you! Just as ... Dowry cart!" Xiao Li had a happy smile on his face.
I instantly blushed and hugged him. I knew that in his heart, I was finally "worthy" for the dowry car. This is more important to him than the car itself.
"Actually, husband," I said gently, "to be able to grow old with you, it is my best dowry car." Thank you for your understanding and tolerance over the years. ”
Xiao Li was also very moved: "I just want to thank you, you have made me grow so much."
No matter how long the road is, husband and wife must support each other. This is our marriage.
I was very moved to receive the "dowry car" sent by Xiao Li. It's not just a car, it's a symbol of a new level of understanding and tolerance for me.
In the past, he had always struggled with the traditional concept of a "dowry cart", but now he finally saw the essence of the problem - the mutual respect and understanding between us, which is more important than any gift.
I called my mom to express my feelings. Mom smiled and said, "Look, I said at the beginning, give him a little time to understand you, he will grow." You two hold on and any issues will be solved. ”
Listening to my mother say this, I feel that my perspective seems to be a little broader. Indeed, there are many contradictions in life, time can be run-in, understanding can be brought closer, as long as both parties have a good attitude, the difference is not terrible.
This event became a landmark turning point in our marriage journey.
After that, Xiao Li's parents came to the house as guests. When I entered the door and saw my new car, my father-in-law said with a smile: "Yo, Meimei's car is quite suitable for you." Li Li filial piety, you are. ”
And I smiled and said, "yes, he's grown a lot." The mother-in-law also nodded with emotion.
No one mentioned the "dowry cart" anymore. My marriage to Xiao Li finally drove away from this "stumbling block".
However, life will never be easy. Just when we thought everything was on track, new problems followed.
Xiao Li's foreign company suddenly laid off employees, and he became an unemployed person. My work as a teacher has also led to complaints from parents due to improper course selection.
For a while, the weight of life once again enveloped us. Trivial chores, the stress of childcare, unsatisfactory work... All of this makes us feel tired and grumpy.
"Alas, how good it was last year, why are there so many things this year..." once, Xiao Li said to me with a sad face.
I also sighed: "Yes, it seems that we have to test our ability to withstand pressure again."
"But we're all so tired, how long can we last?" Xiao Li asked.
I got up and walked up to him, held his face and said, "My dear, as long as we don't give up on each other, there is no difficulty in bringing us down." We've made tougher decisions, we've been through bigger tests, haven't we?"
Xiao Li Guan'er smiled, and hope rekindled in his eyes: "You are right, as long as we still trust and understand each other, there will be no hurdle that cannot be passed!"
So, we began to save money and support each other through the difficulties. A year later, Xiao Li found a new job, and my teaching evaluation also rebounded. We have successfully passed another low point in life.
"My dear, thank you for giving me infinite courage and confidence to find myself again." One day, Xiao Li suddenly said to me.
I smiled and nodded, and a little pride rose in my heart - it turned out that in this family, I was not only a wife, but also a pillar.
As time passed, our children grew up, I was promoted to the deputy principal of the primary school, and Xiao Li's career also went all the way.
The road to marriage will not be easier and easier. But as long as our mentality remains positive and resilient, there is no hurdle that cannot be overcome.
Life is a long way, and we will continue to experience more ups and downs. But I believe that with you by my side, I have nothing to fear.
Today is our 10th wedding anniversary. The original "dowry car" turmoil has been left far behind by us.
"Thank you for being the most beautiful scenery of my life." Xiao Li said to me.
"We will continue to walk slowly with gray hair and holding hands." I smiled in response.
I have nothing to fear in the future. Because I know that you will always walk with me.
On the 10th anniversary, I took a day off to surprise Xiao Li.
Early in the morning, I got up and started preparing his favorite dishes and snacks. I also dressed up to let him see that I was still the most beautiful and charming bride in his mind.
At noon, Xiao Li pushed the door home, and when he saw that the home was so warmly furnished, and the aroma of his favorite dishes wafted, he suddenly blossomed.
"Wife, your surprise is so wonderful!" Xiao Li happily hugged me in circles, just as sweet as when we first fell in love.
"Haha, we've been married for ten years, how can we not celebrate it in particular!" I said with a smile.
Xiao Li's eyes were full of affection: "Yes, ten years at the snap of a finger." At the beginning, we were silly little boys and girls, and now we are a family of three. Where has the time gone?"
I was also full of emotion, gently patted his hand and said, "It has witnessed our growth and change." We are no longer the childish couple who quarreled over the 'dowry car'. ”
"Haha yes, I feel a little embarrassed to mention the original incident. Fortunately, you were sensible and firm at that time, and you were not biased by my family's traditional concepts and insisted on your position. Xiao Li said with a smile.
I raised my eyebrows and said, "I'm not that sane, if I had thought more from your and your family's point of view, maybe we could have avoided some arguments." However, experiencing conflict and misunderstandings has strengthened our relationship. Like a whetstone, only by rubbing against each other can it become more indestructible. ”
Xiao Li nodded heavily: "It's so reasonable!" Our marriages are strong and lasting because of mutual respect, understanding and tolerance. The past ten years have made me a better husband and father. ”
I looked at him with a smile, and a warmth and satisfaction rose in my heart.
After ten years, we finally know how to communicate better and understand the heart, not just superficial arguments. This is the secret of a successful marriage.
Xiao Li also looked at me affectionately, then knelt down on one knee and took out a small box from his pocket.
"Although I didn't give you a 'dowry cart' back then, on our tenth anniversary, let me put this engagement ring on you again and promise that I will always love you and go on forever."
I burst into tears with excitement and held his face and kissed him deeply. "I do! Grow old with you and never separate!"
At this moment, I knew that our marriage ship would finally dock after the storm and would sail all the way to the other side of happiness.
That night, we entrusted the children to our grandparents, and only the two of us went to the fancy restaurant for a candlelit dinner.
"Honor our beautiful decade, but also to a more wonderful future!" Xiao Li raised a glass and said.
I also smiled and clinked glasses with him, and then showed him the ring: "You know what, it's like a circle, there is no point always, it represents our never-ending love!"
Xiao Li smiled happily, like a child who got candy.
A bold idea popped into my mind: "Husband, how about we have another wedding?" It's our marriage vow. ”
Xiao Li's eyes widened in surprise: "This idea is great!" Well, it's next month. This time, I will definitely participate in the planning of the whole process to make it the most memorable wedding of your life!"
Looking at his excited look, I felt that this impulsive decision was the right one. Because love needs to be constantly rekindled, marriage needs to be constantly redefined.
At every stage of life, we will have new discoveries and insights. The important thing is that on this path, we will finally be close to each other.
A month later, on that Saturday, we had our second wedding as scheduled.
Xiao Li happily prepared everything, invited our relatives and friends, and recustomized the wedding dress and suit.
I stood in the dressing room, looking at myself in the mirror in my wedding dress, and the joy of the bride after a long absence.
"Mom, I'm going to marry my dad again!" Our daughter happily sprinkled flower petals on my dress.
"Yes baby, mom is going to renew her marriage vows with dad and promise to be together forever." I smiled and crouched down, holding her little face and kissing her lightly.
"Then you'll be together forever, right?" The daughter asked with big bright eyes.
"To my dear, we will always be together, always your favorite mommy and daddy."
The daughter smiled happily and went to scatter the petals again. A great warmth and satisfaction rose in my heart – I had the home of my dreams.
"Mei Mei, it's time to enter!" The staff prompted.
I took a deep breath and walked slowly to Xiao Li at the end of the red carpet to the light and joyful music.
He looks heroic wrapped in a tailor-made suit, and his eyes are full of my beloved gentle smile.
When I walked up to him, my eyes couldn't help but moisten years later, he is still the most important man in my life.
"I love you." He said softly. The tone is as sincere and moving as when we first confessed.
"I love you too. Love for life. I smiled in response.
The pastor reads the verse, and we exchange rings again face-to-face, pledging to work together through every ups and downs of life, witnessed by friends and family.
"You can kiss the bride." The pastor finally announced with a smile.
Xiao Li excitedly took my hand and gave me a deep kiss amid the noise of everyone.
I was completely immersed in this beautiful moment, as if I had returned to the youth we first met ten years ago.
After the second wedding, Xiao Li said happily: "My dear, this time, your 'dowry cart' is finally in place!"
I laughed, put my arm around him and said, "Yes, we are no longer the children who are still arguing about traditional forms and false names." Now, you are my best 'dowry car', the one who will take me forward!"
Xiao Li also smiled and nodded, his hand gently covered mine, and his eyes were full of affection.
Thus, we began a new chapter in our married life.
Today, we have spent 20 years together. My daughter is about to go to college, and we have been promoted to president and general manager of the company.
Every time I think of the time we had a big fight over a "dowry car", I still think about how reckless and naïve we were when we were young, but how simple and cute we were.
"If it weren't for the turmoil, our marriage path might have been smoother, but it wouldn't have been so colorful." Xiao Li said to me with a smile.
I nodded and squeezed his hand: "It is precisely after the tortuous test that our tree of love will firmly take root and withstand the wind and rain."
Life is a long way, and we will continue to walk together. And with you by my side, I will never be afraid.