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It was a weekend afternoon, the sun was shining, and I met my good sister Juanzi at school. Coffee shop as usual. We ordered coffee and dessert and sat by the window chatting while enjoying the food.
Juanzi was a good friend of mine in college. Now that we have a family, we still keep in touch. We meet every weekend at this cozy café and it's like going back to carefree campus time.
"It's true that life has been too stressful lately." I sighed. "The child has always been naughty, his grades have plummeted, and I have put a lot of effort into getting him to break this habit. My in-laws urged me to have a grandson, my husband was busy with work, and I was busy. "I do all the housework alone, and I am very busy every day."
"And me, my home is on the same line as my work, and I rarely have time to stop and rest." Juanzi said with empathy: "I really want to find an island to have a good vacation and forget all my troubles for a while." ”
"Haha, that's a good idea!" I smiled and said, "It's time to relax, relax, the stress of life is breathless." ”
"By the way, sisters, how are you and your husbands?" Juanzi suddenly asked mysteriously.
I'm a little embarrassed. I only confided this topic to Juanzi: "Hmm... It's not bad, but the time is a little short, and sometimes I don't even feel it. ”
"What?!" Juanzi's eyes widened, "No, he is very strong, your husband is really an attractive person!" ”
I looked at her with some surprise: "How do you know he's strong and attractive?" Do you..."
"Oh, I mean, he's a great worker, a successful career, and of course he's charming!" Juanzi explained: "You think too much! ”
"Really?" A trace of doubt arose in my heart, but for a moment, it immediately disappeared because of my trust in Juanzi. We talked about other topics, but I always felt a little blocked and confused.
When I got home, I was still very uneasy. Married life is always based on mutual trust. I have always believed in my husband and never doubted his loyalty to me. But what Juanzi said today always made me feel strange.
"Honey, you're back!" My husband came over smiling and wanted to give me a hug.
"Are you in a bad mood today?" Seeing that I was not interested, my husband asked suspiciously.
"It's nothing, I'm just a little tired." I smiled on the surface, but thought to myself, is my husband really loyal to me? Could it be that he and Juanzi really had some kind of relationship that transcended friendship without my knowledge? This was simply a ridiculous idea, and I immediately shook my head to dismiss this ridiculous idea.
But in the days that followed, that suspicion grew stronger. I began to pay attention to every little thing between my husband and Juanzi - every look in his eyes, every smile seemed to reveal ambiguity. I can't help but wonder, did the two of them cross the boundaries of friendship long ago and just hide it from me?
"No, I'll have to think about it." I tried to stay sane, "My husband and Juanzi have been good friends since college, and I can't lose my mind because of a momentary suspicion. ”
But my six senses tell me it's not that simple. I remember that my husband seems to have been working overtime and coming home late more recently. Once when he returned, he still had a long hair on his clothes. I pretended to ask casually, but my husband just asked vaguely and superficially, so I didn't ask again.
During this time, I was extremely irritable and did not sleep well. I dreamed that my husband and Juanzi had a private meeting under my nose. I couldn't think of anything to do during the day, my head was full of gibberish I made up, and I was going crazy.
And so, I quietly began the "investigation" - I would keep an eye on my husband's phone and try to find clues; I will also pay more attention to the frequency of my husband and Juanzi meeting, hoping to catch more suspicious signs. I felt guilty and ashamed, but mostly pain and fear – I was so afraid that they were building a relationship without my knowledge, which was tantamount to betrayal to me.
On this day, my husband went out to socialize and came back very late. I pretended to be asleep, lay on the bed, heard my husband wash carefully and returned to the bedroom. Just after he fell asleep, I quietly took his phone to check and finally found evidence that broke me - a series of ambiguous conversations between him and Juanzi, the content was unbearable.
I felt dizzy and tears rolled in my eyes. It turns out my doubts come true. My husband and my most trusted girlfriend actually secretly joined behind my back and even developed an almost secret relationship! I felt hopelessness, pain and betrayal like never before. This man, whom I have trusted and loved for more than a decade, could deceive me so cruelly.
"Are you awake?" Early the next morning, my husband noticed my red eyes and looked at me suspiciously.
I was quiet last night and handed him my phone.
My husband's face suddenly changed and he avoided looking me directly.
"I'm sorry, it's all my fault..." he said in a trembling voice, "I shouldn't have hurt you, I blame myself..."
I was speechless and could only shake my head with tears in my eyes. I can't believe it. The sweetness and trust that used to be completely shattered has been completely shattered, and I can no longer maintain this home...
After the divorce, I moved to my hometown alone. When my mother saw my thin and exhausted appearance, she was very distressed. "Silly girl, if you encounter emotional problems in the future, find someone to talk to in time, don't hide it yourself." She patted my hand and said.
I nodded. This experience taught me not to trust the world easily. I need to be stronger to handle the ups and downs in life. In the future, I will examine everything around me with reason rather than emotion, and always be vigilant to avoid being hurt again.
I no longer believe in so-called "confidant friends". I started to actively engage in my work, numbing myself by being busy.
Maybe I can't let go completely, but I'm sure time will make me stronger. On the new path of life, I will examine everyone and everything more carefully, protect myself with wisdom and courage, and rediscover the joy and meaning of life.
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