Before reading this article, we sincerely invite you to click the "Follow" button, so that you can continue to push such articles for you in the future, and it is also convenient for you to discuss and share, your support is the driving force for us to insist on creating~
Text|Blue Rain
Edit|S
In recent years, we can always see some heart-wrenching news: a full-time mother jumped off the building to kill herself because of a conflict with her husband.
Behind the fall of this fresh life, a suffocating marriage is reflected, and people have sighed that the biggest tragedy in a woman's life is unfortunate marriage.
However, if we take a closer look at the aunts in their fifties around us, we will know that the real tragedy of women is not the chicken feathers they had when they were young, nor the unfortunate marriage of the wrong person.
It's that the woman reaches the age of fifty and lives three "annoying" looks.
So, what are the three things that are mentioned here? How can middle-aged women in the new era avoid becoming like this?
Let's talk about a woman's first state of life after the age of fifty.
(TV series "My First Half of Life")
Take the family as the radius of life
For many women, when they first enter marriage, they must be happy and sweet.
Both people in a marriage have their own jobs, are relatively financially independent, and no one has to be attached to the other.
However, once they have children, most women are forced to interrupt their work and choose to stay at home with their children.
Since then, women have begun to turn their palms up, without their own social interactions, without their own time, and every day revolves around their husbands and children.
Decades have passed, and women have become fifty-year-old "yellow-faced women", but men are still proud executives in the workplace.
At this time, women often face two situations, may be abandoned by men, or may continue to maintain a dismal marriage, serving men like a nanny.
In 2021, there was a particularly popular video that recorded the experience of Aunt Su Min, a woman who was about to enter old age, "running away from home".
(Aunt Su Min)
Su Min is a very family-oriented woman who has worked for the family all her life since she had children when she was young.
I finally pulled the children up, and I had to continue to serve my grumpy husband.
Perhaps at a certain moment, Su Min began to hate this boring and depressing life, so he drove away.
After walking out of the house, Su Min found that the outside world was really exciting, so she extended her travel plans and uploaded her experience to the short video platform.
Later, Su Min was worried that she had been away from home for too long and that there was no one to take care of her at home, so she continued to return to the family.
After arriving home, she immediately began to clean up and cook, thinking that after a period of separation, her husband would understand her for many years.
Unexpectedly, her husband did not realize her importance because she left, but as always, he complained about the poor food and accused her of not traveling.
(Aunt Su Min)
Seeing Su Min's husband's attitude, netizens were sensitive to Su to the point that it was not worth it.
And the reason why her husband dared to treat Su Min like this was because he had already pinched Su Min and thought that Su Min would never leave the family he had run all his life.
Condone children to gnaw at old age
In addition, around us, there are some aunts who can obviously live a decent old age with their early savings or pensions, but they have to indulge their children to gnaw at old age.
In order to make their children's lives less stressful, they buy cars for their children and houses for their children, but they do not have much money for the pension.
Aunt Chen is such a mother, she only has one son, so she has been pampered with him since she was a child.
When my son grew up, he was quite sensible, but he refused to study well, and in the end, he didn't even get into college.
(Registration for university students)
Aunt Chen didn't want her child to enter a technical school, so she let her son go to a private three-book school, spending more than 200,000 yuan in four years.
However, Sanben's education did not have any gold content at all, and after graduation, his son could only barely find a job to maintain food and clothing.
In the blink of an eye, the son reached the age of marriage, and through free love, he talked about a partner, and the object required at least a marriage room.
So in 2016, Aunt Chen bought a house in the center of Xianyang, Shaanxi Province with a mortgage for her son.
Originally, he and his son agreed that the monthly mortgage of 2,100 yuan would be paid by his son and daughter-in-law, but after they only repaid it for 2 years, their little grandson was born.
After the birth of her grandson, her daughter-in-law could not continue to work, and her son's financial burden suddenly became heavy, so Aunt Chen had to help her son start repaying the loan.
In order to ease the financial pressure, Aunt Chen, who is 55 years old, got another job in a pharmacy.
(Pharmacy)
Later, the daughter-in-law gave birth to a second child, and the little couple's economy became even more tense, not only that, but the daughter-in-law also asked Aunt Chen to help bring the baby at home.
In desperation, Aunt Chen can only quit her job, and she has to help bring up the baby every month and bear the mortgage, and she has posted more than 100,000 so far this year.
Some time ago, she wanted to return the mortgage to her son and daughter-in-law, because she had tens of thousands of yuan left in her savings, which was still the deposit left to her by her wife before she died.
However, when she saw her son's appearance of working hard to raise her child every morning, she still couldn't bear to speak.
Aunt Chen's experience is both poignant and unworthy of sympathy, and if we think about it, we can all know that her quality of life in her later years will not be too high.
The reason for this situation is that she indulges her son too much and nourishes his son's gnawing mentality.
(The old man with the baby, note: this picture is not a real screenshot of the event, it is only used for narrative)
There is no pension planning
In addition to Aunt Su Min and Aunt Chen, the current situation of some aunts is even more worrying: they are all fifty years old and have not seriously planned for retirement.
In real life, we have seen many old couples, men enjoy pensions with a sense of superiority, but women can only rely on odd jobs to make ends meet.
And the reason for this situation is nothing more than that when she was young, women chose to return to the family and gave up their careers.
At first, the mothers planned to take their children to kindergarten and go out to work, but after three years of sending their children to kindergarten, they found that they still could not return to the workplace.
The reason is that there is almost no job that allows the mother to leave work at four o'clock in the afternoon to pick up the children, and on Saturdays, Sundays and holidays without overtime at all, she is at home with the children.
Even with such a job, once the child gets sick or encounters the epidemic like in previous years, Bao's mother still can't devote herself to work.
(Baoma, note: This picture is not a real screenshot of the event, it is only used for narrative)
Therefore, some mothers will choose to wait for their children to finish kindergarten before going out to work, but at that time, few companies are willing to accept the gap in the workplace for nearly 7 years.
In the end, Bao's mother still had to rely on some temporary work to earn a little pocket money, and as for the treatment of social security and provident fund, they dared not think about it.
Therefore, after they reach the age of fifty, they cannot enjoy retirement benefits, and can only continue to rely on some odd jobs to support their old age expenses.
When they can't move physically, they can only rely on their husband's pension to survive.
Based on this unequal pension relationship, they can only silently endure her husband's complaints, cold eyes, and even cheating.
(Old couple)
epilogue
Some people say that marriage is a woman's second chance to change her destiny, but this writer does not think so.
Because marriage is only a social relationship, this social relationship is not 100% stable, and once the marriage breaks down, most women find it difficult to get high compensation.
Therefore, the author suggests that all female friends, no matter what kind of family you are married to now, you must not lose yourself.
You can quit the workforce for a short time for your children, but don't forget to improve yourself, and now you might as well ask yourself what kind of life you want to live after the age of fifty?
Finally, I hope that all women can not be bound by marriage and always have the courage to face life again!