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Hello everyone, I am a 52-year-old rural aunt, I am now encountering a difficult matter, I want to ask everyone's opinion, I hope everyone will give me ideas.
My husband and I met 29 years ago, and we quickly became married under the witness of both parents.
One year after marriage, I became pregnant with a child, and the birth of the child brought unprecedented happiness to our family.
Due to the strict family planning at that time, my husband and I did not have children after giving birth, and my son became an only child.
At that time, relatives advised us to have another one, saying that if we have two children, we can share the pressure with each other when we grow up.
But my husband and I think that one child is enough, as long as the child grows up healthy and happy.
In this way, my husband and I worked hard to raise the child and send him to school, and the child was also very contentious and was admitted to university.
Now my son works for a state-owned construction company, and last year he became a project manager, and his work has gradually stabilized.
However, my son's lifelong events have become the biggest headache for me and my husband.
A few years ago, we advised our son to get married early, and we could help him bring up the children while we were still young, but my son said to stabilize his work first.
Seeing my son working hard, my husband and I were very anxious, because the peers around me were grandparents, and my son did not have a girlfriend.
Just last year, during the May Day holiday, my son suddenly called me and said that he had a girlfriend.
My husband and I were very excited the moment we got the news, and then we taught our son to treat other girls well.
My son did the same, life is really good for his girlfriend, and his girlfriend is not bad for me and my husband.
On this year's National Day, my son and his girlfriend talked about getting married, and I should be happy, but there is one thing I can't be happy about.
The reason is that when our parents met on National Day, at the dinner table, the woman's parents clearly told us that although their family only had three daughters, they had arranged for the second daughter to be at home to provide for her parents.
My son's girlfriend is the eldest and naturally wants to marry into our family, and we have reached a consensus at that time.
Just a few days ago, my husband and I told the woman's parents that we were going to pick up the relatives, and the woman's parents also agreed to do it according to the customs on our side.
While I was happily preparing my things, my son called me last night, and he told me that his girlfriend wanted to go both ways.
I asked my son if he was a son-in-law?
My son said no, they live in both families, and they will not call the woman's family grandparents' house in the future, which is equivalent to saying that my son and his girlfriend will support four old people in the future.
I asked my son what he thought about himself?
The son said that it was actually fine, anyway, his girlfriend's second sister was at home to recruit a son-in-law, he just lived on both sides, saying that if both sides go, the woman's family would leave them a room.
At this time, I panicked, I clearly told my son that I only have such a son, their family has three daughters, and when the parents of both sides met, they had already said that his daughter was married, and now they asked my son to go on both sides, isn't this just letting my son come to the door in disguise?
I said I didn't agree, and then asked my son to discuss with his girlfriend, if the two sides go, then the second daughter of the woman's family regretted not recruiting a son-in-law, so won't my son become a son-in-law?
After I refused, my son said that the woman's family said that they should go both sides and let them choose by themselves, and not later said that their parents were partial to their sister, so they asked his sister to recruit a son-in-law at home.
Now that the day of engagement has been found, the woman's family suddenly said this, I really don't know if they regret it or what, which makes me a little overwhelmed.
First, I only have one son, I am definitely not happy to let my son be a son-in-law, and secondly, the woman's family has three daughters, saying that I would let the second son be at home, and now I have backtracked and let my son go on both sides, I think the woman's family obviously disrespects us.
To be honest, I am still quite satisfied with this prospective daughter-in-law, although she is only high-Chinese, although her monthly salary is only 3,000 yuan, but she knows how to be polite and easy to get along with.
Did everyone say I should agree to let my son go both ways?
I don't know if my opposition will ruin the marriage of the children, but as a mother, I really can't accept it.
I'm really struggling with the happiness of my children right now, and I don't want my son to do this.
To put it mildly, who would want to let their only son go on both sides? If the prospective daughter-in-law is an only daughter, then I have nothing to say, but she has two younger sisters, and the second sister who said that the good second sister is at home, and she is married.
I didn't sleep all night last night, I kept crying, I cried this morning, I really don't know what to do, everyone come and support me!