The whole network persuaded her to divorce, and the model couple of internal entertainment stopped acting
"Goodbye Lover 3" was launched, the three male guests each had their own angry people, and netizens sighed: "Many marriages that seem to be happy are originally forbearant by women." ”
However, what triggered the greatest discussion was not Fu Seoul Lao Liu, but a post-90s couple——
Beauty blogger Wang sleeps, advertising producer Zhang Shuo.
The relationship between the two from school uniforms to wedding dresses should have been idol stills into reality.
Source: "Goodbye Lover 3"
The results were eye-popping.
In the pilot film, Wang sleeps accusing Zhang Shuo of drinking too much, drinking six days a week, losing his mind with playthings, and getting married like he wants a nanny.
Zhang Shuo believed that she was prone to anger, had a big temper, and did not do housework, and then made a Qing Dynasty remark: "Shouldn't all housework be done by girls?" ”
Source: "Goodbye Lover 3"
Netizens commented: When you are in love, I feel that you are different from others, and after marriage - "why are you different from others".
The outrageous things are far more than that, in just a few issues, Huang Zhizhong was so angry that he punched a set of military body punches into the air; So anxious that Sun Yi shouted "Sleep, wake up."
All netizens went crazy online: "Give me a divorce!!! ”
Is it really so powerful?
Disgusting marriage, also swallowed for three years
The three pairs of guests in "Goodbye Lover 3" are not divorced, and the pair of Wang sleeps is even more special -
The wedding was held, but no marriage certificate has been issued.
Source: "Goodbye Lover 3"
The problem is in the farcical wedding -
Before the wedding, Wang Sleepy invited a friend of many years to be a bridesmaid, and the friend was worried: "I heard that your hometown marriage trouble is very serious", and Sleepy and Zhang Shuo promised that "this will not happen".
However, on the wedding day, there was still a bad behavior of the male friend's bridesmaids, and he was stopped by the woman's relatives and friends.
Source: "Goodbye Lover 3"
Even if the details are not expanded, it can be imagined that it is very serious harassment, and after this incident, the relationship between the bridesmaids and Wang sleeps gradually distanced and no longer contacted.
And Zhang Shuo's handling method has become the knot of Wang sleeping.
How typical is his attitude?
After the incident, Wang sleeps and asks the parties to apologize.
Zhang Shuo was embarrassed to tear his face with his buddies, and chose to apologize to the bridesmaids himself, on the grounds that "they have helped the family and have friendships" and "they don't recognize their mistakes, so there is no need to tell them."
He also handed a cigarette to the harasser and persuaded him in a brother-friendly way to "stop making trouble with other girls."
Source: "Goodbye Lover 3"
Such a great male friendship, it is simply "embarrassment".
But Wang has never passed this hurdle, believing that even if he can't force others to apologize, he must point out to his friends that "you did something wrong", which is a matter of right and wrong.
Source: "Goodbye Lover 3"
But in the past three years, whenever she mentioned this matter, Zhang Shuo immediately rebounded: "You are vexatious" "Then why didn't you call the police at that time?" ”
Source: "Goodbye Lover 3"
Even when he slept on the show and said his heart, he sighed "it's not necessary" and "I forgot it faster", revealing the "sense of sacrifice" that he had apologized for his friend.
Source: "Goodbye Lover 3"
Zhang Shake the pot master Shuo, oil and salt do not enter.
Huang Zhizhong became angry and became the audience's mouth: "If that friend is harassing your relatives, are you okay??" ”
After all, all kinds of sophistry is to excuse one's own cowardice and use custom to glorify sexual harassment.
This incident also became a mirror of the relationship between the two, and became a thorn in Wang Sleep's heart. She re-examined each other's three views, not only could not make the decision to join hands for life, but could not give up years of relationship and decisively separated.
Three years of unlicensed marriage, walked above the show "Goodbye Lover".
Zhang Shuo is more and more eye-opening, the name has become the endorsement of "Puxin", and his rounding behavior has also made some netizens speculate:
"Does he think that marriage troubles are not a matter at all, and there is no need to cut the table with his good brother because of a bridesmaid?"
"Is he himself a member of the marriage trouble?"
Source: "Goodbye Lover 2"
And Wang sleeps without escaping the judgment of the audience, and even attracts more anger.
Some people say that after being in love for so long, did you know that Zhang Shuo's character was poor on the first day?
Some people say, why don't you separate after the wedding, did he save your life?
For a while, the whole network was asking her why she didn't get a divorce?
Failing to identify scumbags in love and failing to withdraw early in marriage seems to have become her "original sin".
Public opinion has become "the wife suffers by herself", and in the end, the man is invisible, and the woman is scolded.
But in fact, it is a pity that many women recognize each other's true face for the first time at the moment of marriage and the choice of life events.
Source: "Goodbye Lover 3"
Even knowing that it was a fire pit, he went down "soberly".
"Marriage proposal is the last emotional labor that a man does"
Why does her sister say that when a relationship comes to talking about marriage, it is the easiest to break the filter?
On the one hand, there is the gap in reality -
Either there are significant differences in perceptions on major events that cannot be compromised; Either it is a disagreement due to practical interests,
For example, someone quarreled and broke down because of the 20,000 bride price.
Source:
Some people broke the guard for the 66,000 bride price and scolded the girl's parents for "selling their daughters".
Source: Douban
Some people think that the 10W bride price is too much, and say ruthlessly: if you want to, break up.
Source: Douban
Some people have already made a calculation of the uterus before marriage, persuading girls to "don't eat cold, not easy to conceive" and "can't have children, but it's a terminal illness."
Source: Douban
Economic factors, two families, each other's three views, and life plans are on the table, which are very different, and there may not be the mental level that can break through these gaps.
The three views and reality collide and eventually fall apart.
The other aspect of broken filters is much more hidden, they can't fit it.
Just like Zhang Shuo fell in love with Wang Sleeping, he pursued it in the early stage, and also survived the long-distance run in love, but after getting married, it became a "roommate" relationship.
His wife had a fever, and he fell asleep without care.
Source: Sina Weibo
This is not the receding of love, but a common change of face.
Often in our culture, men are taught to chase relationships, while women are taught to be responsible for managing relationships. In the book "Unseen Emotional Labor", a sentence breaks -
"Even if men engage in emotional labor in the early stages of a relationship, they see it as nothing more than a means to an end... It's the way to catch the girl or save the girl."
Source: Douban
Therefore, women will always have this myth, "his attitude changed before and after love", "he judged the two after he got engaged".
This is because at a certain moment, perhaps the acceptance of the confession, or the official announcement of the engagement, or the wedding, or the birth of a child... Let them feel relieved that the dust has settled, and they will no longer pretend, no longer chase.
Source: "Goodbye Lover 3"
Talking about marriage is such a moment.
As a result, everything promised in love may be temporarily reversed when you get married.
"I said that I would have a beautiful wedding in the hotel, but now I want to go to the countryside to build a shed and make a running water mat; The second child who said yes had my last name, and now I don't agree; The salary that was said to be handed over was handed over, and now I am not willing to pay it ... The house was bought, the certificate was immediately obtained, and all the promises were not fulfilled. ”
Source: Douban
"After getting engaged and taking wedding photos, I was not willing to pay the promised 8.8 bride price... I feel like I don't have his ex to spend as much money on him. ”
Source:
Therefore, the other party who is understood in love may also be a disguised illusion.
"Soon to get married, I found out that he was hiding a family genetic disease, and he had no regrets after being discovered."
Source:
"When I was about to get married, I found out that he had been divorced, and I didn't plan to tell me when I was about to get married, or did my relatives say it."
Source:
"The man pretended to put forward some conditions, first lied to get married, and when it came time to do it, he said that there were difficulties at home for my family to understand."
Source:
Most love fashions are thoughtful, gentle and responsible.
When I was close to getting married, I found that it was actually traditional, stubborn, and discredited.
Source:
The scary thing is that men can immediately withdraw and change their faces, but most girls can't let go of the sunk costs of past emotions.
Are they too stupid and obsessed?
Look at what kind of gender outlook women have always been taught.
From childhood to adulthood, every literary and artistic work and every emotional golden sentence emphasizes that women have the responsibility to transform men, "accompany boys to grow up" and "wait for men to become better".
Just like Wang Sleeping, he shouted loudly to Zhang Shuo again and again, "You must have a sense of justice", "You can't say that", "You should do this".
Source: "Goodbye Lover 3"
It seems that as long as she persists, this suddenly rotten man can rejuvenate overnight and turn back to the prodigal son.
But I didn't think about it - it is impossible for a person to suddenly change, he just removed his mask and revealed his original appearance.
Source: "Goodbye Lover 3"
The narrative of the prodigal son's return is not reliable.
What's even sadder is that even if they break free from the narrative of transforming men, women may not be able to stop the loss in time.
It's never too late to start over
Many of the older generation's concept is to persuade and not persuade, and to endure is a golden marriage.
Especially if you have come to the door of marriage, it is even more nerve-wracking to want to "withdraw from marriage".
They chanted, "It's all time for the wedding, what are the insurmountable difficulties?" "You hurt the feelings of both parents so willfully."
Source:
A grand narrative for a while, an emotional kidnapping for a while, emotional cards and gossip go hand in hand, so many girls can't get out neatly.
But, ignoring their feelings for a while, what awaits them?
Is it really the happy life of a prince and princess?
Not necessarily. Instead, it is visible that the stakes of doubling the chips and more and more sunk costs.
It is more difficult to leave after receiving the certificate, "what to pick for the second marriage", "It is difficult to find a partner for the second marriage", "Do you still want to find the first marriage in the second marriage", "Let's be a stepmother for others in the second marriage", the broken words keep ...
When the child is born, he may not see the prodigal son turn back, but he is firmly tied to death by the motherhood.
Cut five cities today, cut ten cities tomorrow, and then retreat step by step.
Before marriage, the cat was given away "so that it will not break up"; After marriage, the dog was abused and killed, "don't get divorced."
Source: Network
Men, prostitutes, debts, domestic violence, all persuade. Women, no matter what the conditions, "I can't find such a good person anymore."
But in fact, are these persuasions really "for her good"?
The so-called rather tear down ten temples and not break a marriage, in fact, everyone is shrewd in their calculations, and only girls are coaxed.
I remember brushing a video not long ago, the former love was that the boy thought that the cat would affect fertility, and secretly gave away the girl's pet cat, so the girl decided to break up and return the bride price.
The boy begged, "As for it", "I was wrong", "I want to be good with you".
You thought it was "Affectionate Story"?
In the end, the boy tried to see the poor dagger, which is very simple - "Ask for money": "Don't want to get married? That pays back every crush I have spent for you. Knowing you can't afford it, then honestly get married. ”
Recording, condensed stitching version
From warmth and peace to vicious threats, it only changes face in an instant.
More realistically, when the girl is cornered and tries to commit suicide, the dog man begins to dissociate himself from the relationship again: "I don't know her, she's crazy."
Source: Sina Weibo
Also, every time I see the bottom line of human nature in the live broadcast room of major marriage lawyers——
Women often ask "Does he still love me" and "Am I deceived?" Men are mostly concerned about how much money they can get.
Even, a younger brother asked in the lawyer's live broadcast room: "How can you persuade my sister not to divorce?" ”
Every sentence he said made people's eyes black: "Brother-in-law prostitutes, cheating, and domestic violence are also common human feelings, I am just worried that my sister will not find a good person in her second marriage." ”
Source: Sina Weibo
Do you think it's "Dizzy Mind" and "Ignorant Stereotype"?
But in fact, the truth is - he took his sister's bride price to decorate the house, worried that he would be recovered from the bride price after the divorce.
Everyone is settling their own economic account.
Source: Sina Weibo
Girls are driven by the interests of others, ignore their own feelings, "grasp the small and magnify", and can't distinguish the priority.
Source: Sina Weibo
In fact, many times it is not the duality of "wife", "love brain" and sober heroine, not everyone can immediately carry the box and leave like Mao Xiaotong, so clear.
Their hesitation and vacillation are real, as are their instincts and discomfort.
Source: "Goodbye Lover 3"
In the obstruction of relatives and friends and self-thought -
Shout out discomfort and break through many resistances. However, swallowing discomfort and patience for a while is difficult to reach the end.
It's like Wang sleeping, although the logic is clear and stunning.
But previously, the greatest resistance that could be achieved was to refuse to get a license without telling anyone.
Married because he was urged to get married, believed in Zhang Shuo's character because of the love of Zhang Shuo's parents, and because marriage is a matter of two families, it is difficult to break the cauldron... She carries too many expectations that she shouldn't have.
Source: "Goodbye Lover 3"
And this time on the show, it is the determined bone scraping to heal.
Studies have shown that those who have a good support system around them are more likely to leave vicious intimate relationships.
So what we should do is not to put pressure on imperfection.
It's about creating a world that doesn't put "life events" above women's feelings, giving more women the courage to break through those "family-friendly" endings.
Let them feel comfortable trusting their instincts.
Because of a little discomfort, you can break up; Because of a small matter, you can also choose to divorce.
It's never too late.
Every moment you make up your mind to pull away can be the perfect time to start anew.