#妙笔生花创作挑战#
Luoyang, the capital of the Eastern Han Dynasty, is named because it is located in the Yang of Luoshui.
When looking at the Three Kingdoms, I often hear the phrase: Since Huan Ling, the Han Dynasty has decayed how it has been. Huan Ling, that is, Emperor Huan and Emperor Ling, Luoyang's affairs have to start with them.
History has a very low opinion of these two men, and they really haven't done anything good.
Luoyang - a large entertainment city
First of all, the Huan Emperor Liu Zhi, greedy for money and lustful, was absurd, and more than 6,000 women served him in the harem.
However, although he had this heart, his body could not keep up, so he invited relatives and friends, princes and nobles, and ministers of the dynasty to entertain together, which can be described as a grand feast in the Eastern Han Dynasty. To say that this corporate welfare is really good, the harem has become a membership-based bikini entertainment city, and a large-scale love action movie shooting site.
Liu Zhixin is really big enough, enjoying the wonderful performances of the ministers and the beautiful harem, while drinking and applauding.
Since it is a national-level large-scale entertainment city, waiters are indispensable, and there must be noodles, who is the waiter?
Naturally, eunuchs.
Cao Cao's grandfather, Comrade Cao Teng, was the number one foreman, and he also made the Marquis of Ting (did he instantly feel that Guan Yu's Marquis of Ting was not so great). The daily work is to stand at the door to welcome the guests, Lord Liu, General Wang is here, take the slippers hand, the two inside, please!
When eunuchs were reused, foreign qi (relatives of the empress or empress dowager) were not happy, and it can be said that the struggle between eunuchs and foreign qi has not stopped since the Han Dynasty after Lü.
What if you are not happy?
Then fight, fight back and forth Liu Zhi favored the eunuchs, conspired with the eunuchs in the toilet to kill the then great general, the emperor did not even have a secret conference room, this game was won by the eunuchs after all. Comrade Liu Zhi also died at the age of 36 because of his years of work and fatigue, and it should be said that at that time, 36 was not a short life, and the average life expectancy was more than 30.
But what is unexpected is that there was no son when he died, I am really sorry for these six thousand women.
It is not uncommon to say that the emperor's family has no sons, just find a successor from the same clan, who to find - Liu Hong, who is Emperor Hanling.
Although this Liu Hong Emperor was not Liu Zhi's biological one, his temperament was more similar than his biological one.
Not only did it inherit the project of Luoyang Entertainment City very well, but also expanded the scale, built a unisex naked swimming pool, developed the project of human and animal performance, invented the patent of open pants for harem women, and even led to the soaring price of Luoyang donkeys.
Waste Shi Limu
Then the Yellow Turban Uprising broke out, and the local governments couldn't fight it, and they saw that the game was over. How to do it, at this time, the sect Liu Yan gave an idea - to abolish Shi Limu.
What does it mean, it turns out that each state has a history of taishou and thorn, which restrain each other, but it is difficult to mobilize when a war starts, they hinder each other, and their combat effectiveness is not strong. Now, in order to level the yellow turban, each prefecture sends reliable people to serve as state pastors, and this state has great pastoral power and overall military and political power.
Liu Yan came up with this idea out of private interests, he himself wanted to be a state pastor, but Liu Hong was not stupid, could this work?
Liu Yan's face is full of confidence, why not, let me fight the Yellow Turban Army, no problem, but you always have to give some autonomy, let me rob, and let me be a good child, you call this unreasonable, you can't let the brigade commander occupy everything.
Liu Hong said, roll, do as you say, I have to watch the performance, don't bother me with these.
In this way, Liu Yan and some nobles of the clan smoothly became the prefecture pastor, which also established the foundation of the political system for the division of the group of heroes during the Three Kingdoms period.
The eunuch gets another point
At the same time, the eunuchs and foreign relatives were not idle, and they fought another battle. As a result, Empress Dowager Dou's father Dou Wu was killed, and Empress Dowager Dou was placed under house arrest. The eunuch group scored another point, the Han Dynasty was in danger, and it was estimated that the game would end soon, and there was not much time left for the foreign qi group.
At this time, the foreign qi representative team was changed, and the general He Jin was ready to play.
Before introducing Comrade He Jin, I have to say a few words, why does the emperor always support eunuchs?
On the one hand, the emperor was not old when he succeeded to the throne, and there was always a personal discussion in case of trouble, when he was a child, he listened to his mother, and when he reached adolescence, he began to rebel, and his relatives at home could not listen to them, and only eunuchs around him could speak from their hearts.
In addition, the Han Dynasty has been hundreds of years, and the officials in the late Han Dynasty are all old oil people, and they have nothing to do (if you can't understand this, you can refer to Parkinson's theorem). Next, you can see how unreliable the officials of the Han Dynasty were, the eunuchs were reliable and loyal, and the emperor sometimes reused eunuchs when there was really no one to use.
How powerful can that eunuch be, and it is not easy to destroy? You are wrong to think so, the reason why these eunuchs are called "officials" is that they all have official positions. Although the foreign general leads the troops abroad, he can't bring it into the imperial city, who has a hard fist in the imperial city?
Eunuch.
Take the era of the Ten Constant Attendants, Liu Hong set up a military organization directly under his jurisdiction - the eighth captain of the West Garden, led by Ji Shuo, who is a eunuch, a cow is not an ox, and people have military power.
Let's take a look at what names we are familiar with in these eight lieutenants: Lieutenant General Yuan Shao of the Central Military Colonel - General Yuan Shao of Hu Bian, Lieutenant Commander - Yilang Cao Cao, and Right Colonel Chun Yuqiong, that is, Wuchao drank too much of that wine fool.
See, the two heavyweights in the Three Kingdoms are also eunuchs, Yuan Shao is a famous family, and his top boss is a eunuch; Cao Cao, who bears his reputation after being a eunuch, his grandfather is a eunuch, and now he is working as an errand under the eunuch. It is not so easy to destroy eunuchs, and it is difficult to destroy at any time.
Next, the great general He Jin appeared.
He Jin's dilemma
He Jin, character Suigao, was a cousin of the Ling Emperor Liu Hong's empress He clan. Because he saw the conspiracy of the Yellow Turban Army to riot in Luoyang, he was credited with killing the Yellow Turban and became a general. A few days later, Liu Hong was critically ill, and he couldn't see it, and the two sons Liu Wei Liu Xie, who would become the emperor was undecided, and the general was invited by Ji Shuo to enter the palace to discuss the big plan.
Before entering the door, I saw a person, Pan Yin, a small person, Sima Shuo, who had a friendship with He Jin and came out to greet him.
He Jin saw and shook hands and said hello, old Pan, his complexion is good, let's watch the show together in the evening. Old Pan, I'm talking to you, why don't you speak, what's wrong today, sick? What are you doing glaring at me, your mouth is crooked, you have a stroke? Saying that, he suddenly turned his head and ran, and since then he has not been sick.
He Jin is not stupid, and after thinking about it, he understood that Pan Yin was hinting that he was in danger and walked quickly. Ling, maybe this grandson of Ji Shuo set up a plot to kill me, this is the beginning again, is it over?
Since the people started first, they were stupid and afraid that they would suffer losses. So he called Yuan Shao and Cao Cao to discuss, these two were He Jin's close associates, and they had long been holding back to kill the eunuch (pay attention to the sentence break, kill the eunuch). As soon as I hear this, I will copy the guy on the spot and make him stand tall, and I don't share the sky with the eunuch!
He Jin was frightened when he saw it, Yuan Zai Cao Zai, what are the two of you, they are both cultural people, legal rights protection, don't always engage in the underworld, this matter is urgent.
Why can't it be rushed, because there is an important role to take care of - Empress He.
Empress He lived in the palace and was served by eunuchs every day, you eat and people serve you dishes, you wear clothes and people tie buttons for you, people brush the toilet for you after you go to the toilet, and people don't kiss the toilet. Also, the eunuch's job is to be the chief manager of the emperor and empress's family, and everyone who has watched the TV series knows that the chief of the big family is half of the master, and the relationship with the master is like a relative. Even if there is a fault, the punishment should be cursed, so as not to kill others.
So the killing of the eunuch Empress He was the first to not agree, the queen did not support, the foreign relative is a poor relative, who can give you face?
Cao Cao has a violent temper, I will take the lead in killing the gelding, there is no other idea, you two discuss.
So He Jin and Yuan Shao began to discuss, and they worked hard and materials, and did not sleep for three days and three nights, and really let Yuan Shao come up with a good way - summoned Dong Zhuo to the side of the Qing monarch in Beijing, scare and scare Empress He, and use the deterrent power of foreign warlords to force the empress to agree to kill the eunuchs, which is a plan to drive away the tiger and devour the wolf.
As soon as he said this idea, the angry Cao Cao scolded his mother, you two are really a big wisdom and a big clever, the Lying Dragon and Phoenix chicks in the world of conspiracy and trickery, such a bad idea can also come up, then Dong Zhuo led the troops to come if he didn't leave, this is a trick to lure the wolf into the house.
It turned out that Cao Cao was right.
Two hundred and five Dong Zhuo
Dong Zhuo, character Zhongying, Shaanxi Hanzi, often mixed in the northwest region in his youth, had an iron relationship with local ethnic minorities, was bold, and had a strong nomadic imprint.
Once, in order to entertain friends of ethnic minorities, the family slaughtered cattle that were ploughing the land; After leading troops to fight, if you have a reward for yourself, you will give it to the soldiers, which is a typical social outfield type man.
This kind of man generally has two characteristics: 1. machismo; 2. Big ambition and small ability.
Dong Zhuo is, the Yellow Turban Army was defeated and dismissed, this is really a monk climbing the roof - Qi (riding) Miao (temple), the first time I saw the Yellow Turban could not beat the person. The most glorious achievement was the conquest of Hansui, five or six teams went together, and the other troops suffered heavy losses, only Dong Zhuo ran fast and the escape route was cleverly designed, and he retreated with his whole body. Can it not be clever, along the way did nothing else, just thinking about how to run after defeating.
Dong Zhuo's biggest characteristic is not that he fights waste, but that he does not like to listen to commands, and has been unorganized and undisciplined for a long time.
Once the cadres exchanged in different places, he didn't go, he could go, he had to bring his own soldiers to the post, what to do with your yellow turban. Also, the leader asked him to go to A to station, and he said that if A can't do it, I have to go to B. In short, it is a life of bohemian love of freedom, let the east go west, let the dog have to catch chickens.
Just such a person, He Jin wants to let him enter the side of the Qing Jun of Beijing, could it be that the general wants to learn the national football team to swing his own oolong? Dong Zhuo received the order, changed his rebellious character in the past, and led the team to Luoyang the next day, for an ambitious general, leading troops into Beijing was the best opportunity.
Don't live
Dong Zhuo came to Luoyang day and night, but Luoyang was already in chaos.
First of all, he wanted to secretly calculate that He Jin could not succeed, and finally he was killed by He Jin.
Empress He promoted Empress Dowager He, found He Jin and said, brother, it's almost the same, people are also killed, face is also given to you, what else, all killed who serves our ladies, you give me and urine to brush the toilet?
He Jin was speechless, what people said was reasonable, all killed the palace without waiters, this is indeed a real problem. Moreover, he secretly calculated that his own Ji Shuo was dead, and there was no reason to expand the incident again.
Back in the house, Yuan Shao and Cao Cao and the others are waiting, brother Jin, when to start. Big brother, cut the grass and remove the roots, let's kill the boss, this matter can't be over, wait for others to slow down, we have to be put to death. Big brother, give the order, the knife is sharpened almost into an awl.
Well, what he said is also reasonable, He Jin is speechless.
However, the most uncomfortable thing is not He Jin, who is it? Of course, the Ten Constant Attendants. The Ten Constant Attendants are the heads of eunuchs, have the best relationship with the Empress Dowager, and are also the most hated people in the foreign qi clique. Ji Shuo is dead, whether he is dead or alive does not know, the possibility of death is very high, but when he will die does not know.
Panic is the most fatal, if a person is running on the battlefield and is killed by an arrow, he is dead, there is no reason, no reason, no trouble, no sadness. If the back of a machete rubs back and forth under his neck, the person holding the knife rubs and nags: Do you say cut or not, cut? Don't cut? Survival or destruction, that's the question. This is really going to be my own life, nothing to look at Shakespeare less, no need to cut, people will be crazy for half a day.
The ten constant attendants are in this mood now, how many sleepless nights in the dark and repeatedly ask: kill, or not kill, you give a pain!
Empress Dowager He saw that this could not work, so stiff that something would happen sooner or later. Just I'll fold them and let them go, they all resign, and never enter the palace. Don't you say that people confuse the dynasty, let them leave the capital and go home to retire, everyone forgets each other, and there will be no end in the future, okay? Why do you have to die and I live?
He Jin said that I would see it, and the Ten Constant Attendants tearfully agreed, and asked us to serve the Empress Dowager for another day before leaving.
One day, great general, on this day we have to ask for justice, how do eunuchs live when they leave the palace? You courtiers, the state has trained you for so many years, holding high-ranking officials and thick lu, and if you can't govern the country well, you want to let the eunuchs back the pot? Great general, the three dynasties have a grudge, today let's talk about reason. We only want to serve the master well, why can't it, the master has difficulty we give up our wealth and sacrifice our lives to move forward, where in the world can we find such a good slave? Now don't let us live, don't live, don't live, Luoyang, destroy!
The history books record: The Empress Dowager summoned him to enter, drew her sword and cut into front of the Guardian Hall. This means that (Ten Constant Attendants) falsely reported that Empress Dowager Yi summoned He Jin into the palace and drew her sword in front of the Guardian Hall and killed He Jin.
Grind it, rub it again, it's time! I told you to be an escort for the cat - don't die to earn money. Lao He's subordinates were angry, how could they be killed by the eunuchs again, is XXX worthy of us, return the money!
The dragons were leaderless, lost control, and entered the palace, Yuan Shu bravely burned the palace gate first, and sure enough, the second generation of officials was tall and hard!
The Ten Constant Attendants kidnapped the Empress Dowager and fled the palace, and the two thousand eunuchs in the city were killed, and many of them without beards were killed by mistake. The army in front of the moat blocked the road, and the chasing soldiers behind saw the killing, and the ten permanent attendants said to the emperor with tears in their eyes, master, we can't live today, in the future, you take care of yourself, and you will die by throwing yourself into the river.
The emperor was brought here like a sleepwalker, and now the people who brought him jumped into the river, and then what? Who am I?
Am I there? What am I going to do?
In shock, looking at an army blocking the road in front, ask first, the general in front, who are you?
A, Chen Dong Zhuo helped.
Steal my fruit! Inglourious bastards!
Son: God wants to destroy you, you can't hide. How is it so coincidental, Dong Zhuo happened to arrive in Luoyang, saw the mess inside from a distance, hurried forward, and saw two children at the city gate, and asked again, it was the emperor.
Dong Zhuo said, fool me again I will eat you alive, the child said, really, I have proof, said and took out the six seals (the emperor's hand seal) for Dong Zhuo to see. Dong Zhuo looked, I X, really! Heaven and earth, which angelic sister gave me this breath.
Dong Zhuo was originally led by the general to Luoyang to eradicate the eunuchs, but now not only the general and the eunuchs are dead, but the important thing is that the emperor has fallen into his own hands. Just worried that no one will teach, a sticky bean bag fell from the sky, then I can't help you, the earth is mine, I want to be casual.
The great general died, and the emperor was controlled by Dong Zhuo, so who commanded the soldiers under the original general under him? It basically belongs to Dong Zhuo.
But to do bad things also requires accomplices, and it is not fun to do it alone. I heard that there is a humble man named Lü Bu who is brainless and hot-tempered and works as an errand under Ding Yuan. With a little trickery, Lü Bu killed Ding Yuan and defected to Dong Zhuo. As soon as the two met, they were in love, it was really fish looking for fish, shrimp looking for shrimp and turtles loving Dawangba, and since then the two have been more in love than father and son, and Ding Yuan's troops have also returned to Dong Zhuo.
By this time, the soldiers and horses around Luoyang were basically under the command of Dong Zhuo, and the people were almost saved, so let's start performing!
First of all, convene a meeting of civil and military officials, Dong Zhuoci sits on the rostrum with a smile on his face, hello everyone, my name is Dong Zhuo, I am a good person, today to call everyone to come is a small matter, the original emperor is stupid I look unpleasant, I want to change one, raise your hand in agreement, behead if you do not agree. Hahaha, everyone says I'm humorous? Is there anything to disagree with?
At this time, the most angry were Yuan Shu and Yuan Shao.
The Yuan family originally planned to kill the Ten Constant Attendants and He Jin, and support the young emperor to be a puppet, become a power minister himself, and cover the sky with one hand.
Now suddenly a Dong Zhuo descended from the sky and stole the fruits of his labor.
The court power bureau carefully planned by Yuan Shao and Yuan Shu directly took the rocket, skipped various steps, and became the princely division bureau.
Yuan Shao and Lu Zhi, turned their faces with Dong Zhuo on the spot, and the old Dong was also a little confused, thinking in his heart that Yuan Shao was very open in Luoyang, dare to argue with me today Is there any backstage or his brothers ambush at the door, I'll take a look before talking. With this hesitation, Yuan Lu and the two went down to the hall and ran.
Dare to love without a backhand, it is an impulse, and the newborn calf is not afraid of the tiger.
Lao Dong ate a long and wise man, and in the future, he wanted to cheat me again, and the matter of changing the emperor was so decided, and the empress dowager would be killed if she didn't like it, which official would be killed directly if she didn't see it well, and whoever had the money to kill the property and confiscate it. He doesn't understand what long-term peace and stability, nor does he understand what a rich country and strong soldiers, the capital city is just a supply station for me to strengthen myself, nothing is more important than my own strength, Luoyang City has become a purgatory on earth under Dong Zhuo's rule.
Immediately after Yuan Shu also ran, Cao Cao also ran, Cao Cao was recognized halfway, almost caught back, and was released and accidentally killed Lu Boyu, that is, "Ning called me to bear the world's people, Hugh called the world's people to bear me", the specific process is shown in the Beijing opera "Catch and Release Cao".
Cao Cao's heart was broken at this time, and for the current situation, he had the intention to kill the thief and was unable to return to heaven.
Cao Cao urged the quick knife to kill the eunuchs, but He Jin did not listen; Blocking Dong Zhuo from entering Beijing, He Jin and Yuan Shao did not listen, and the bad ending was unfortunately all said by him.
At this moment, Cao Cao is still a hot-blooded young man who is dedicated to supporting the Han family, and he is not so fancy for the time being.
Dong Zhuo's appreciation did not take it to heart, he wanted to preside over the fairness and justice of this era, to benefit the life and death of the country, how could he avoid it because of blessings and misfortunes, and everyone should be condemned for the chaotic courtiers and thieves, return to his hometown, and raise troops to beg thieves!
The princes gathered in the hot-blooded Xiaocao
Comrade Cao Cao was ambitious, scattered his family wealth to recruit soldiers, raised the banner of uprising, and called on heroes from all over the world to enter Beijing to beg thieves. At this time, the prefecture pastoral system had been implemented, and the prefectures had the right to mobilize troops without going through the Son of Heaven, so they all responded to the call, and an anti-Dong Zhuo coalition army with Yuan Shao as the ally slowly gathered around Luoyang.
This paragraph in "Romance of the Three Kingdoms" is wonderfully written, and the golden iron is sloppy and battles the wolves, which makes people read it cheerfully. However, the actual situation is that the princes outside Luoyang City meet and greet each other.
Ah, Brother Yuan, I haven't seen you for a long time, and Old Cao is still so spirited.
Hey, isn't this old Liu, he came late enough, he had to be fined wine, and Brother Han drank beer and drank white, no, no, he had to be on the whole point today.
The waiter walked first, cut some elbow flowers and sauced beef, and gave a plate of peanut rice.
Brother Yuan, I started with you in a circle, don't pick your eyes, old Cao.
Cao Cao once spoke to discuss the march, but was drowned out by the sound of wine orders one after another, and his ambition was dissolved in a wine glass, and he was drunk one by one.
General Cao is angry, the life and death of the Son of Heaven are uncertain, and the suffering of Li Min hangs in the balance, and you can really swallow it.
Old Cao, don't get excited, don't you don't fight, can you not beat him when the brothers are coming? The problem is that they can't beat it, and the Wang Kuang brothers were beaten and almost died. Or let's think of another way, establish another Son of Heaven, and choose a national capital, which is left to Dong Zhuo to toss, what do you say? Everyone agreed, this is a good idea, I see it, so it will be done, and I propose to toast this good idea.
However, just as the group was gathering, Dong Zhuo ran.
Looking at the princes Chen Bing outside the city, Dong Zhuo was also unsteady in his heart, so he decided to move the capital. He hijacked the Son of Heaven and went to Chang'an, and before leaving, he set Luoyang on fire, took the Son of Heaven, and drove the people of Luoyang to Chang'an. As for why the capital was moved, there is another important reason, which will be discussed later.
Cao Cao couldn't sit still, and Lao Tzu ran back to Xuchang for the rest of his life, scattered his family's wealth and soldiers, and tried his best to gather the group together. As a result, Dong Zhuo slipped away and did not even see the shadow of others, and this result Comrade Cao Cao's fragile mind really could not bear. So he decided to lead his men and horses to pursue Dong Zhuo, and Chen Liutai was a real man, and he really couldn't see it, so he sent an army to follow Cao Cao to pursue Dong Zhuo.
Caught up? Caught up. Did you win? No.
Caught up with the family and beat him fat, almost took his life, and gave away people's heads for thousands of miles.
Back in Luoyang, seeing the banquet disperse, everyone turned to the second scene, Cao Cao wanted to cry without tears, and he couldn't wait to find a black and evil force to die with it.
Goodbye everyone, blame me for being too young, from now on I have no illusions about the heroes of the world, and when you see me again, I will become a traitor in troubled times!
The first fierce general of the Three Kingdoms
Seeing this title, most people will think of Lü Bu, but in fact it is not, the owner of this title is called Sun Jian, who is Sun Ce Sun Quan's father.
Sun Jian (孙建), a native of Wu County (present-day Gusu District, Suzhou), descendant of Sun Wu. Life experience is very simple, eight words: people block killing, Buddha blocks killing Buddha! Without further ado, on the data!
As a teenager, he followed his father and ran into pirates, and then cut off the pirate's head.
After that, some people rebelled in Huijicheng, gathering tens of thousands of people, and Sun Jian recruited more than 1,000 elite soldiers to kill the anti-thieves.
The Yellow Turban Uprising broke out, the officers and soldiers were chased by the Yellow Turban Army to Wancheng, and they were surrounded and desperate, and Sun Jian led a thousand elite soldiers to kill the besieged Yellow Turban Army.
The thief Kou District Xing led tens of thousands of people to besiege Changsha, and the imperial court appointed Sun Jian as the Taishou of Changsha, and after he arrived in office, he chased District Xing for two months, and only after he saw no one before accepting the army.
At the beginning of the crusade against Dong Zhuo, Sun Jian responded positively, and when passing through Jingzhou, the assassin snubbed him, so he killed the Jingzhou assassin history, and when passing through Nanyang, Taishouyang Fengyin was unwilling to cooperate, so he killed Nanyang Taishou.
On the way, he converged with Yuan Shu, saying that he would follow Yuan Shu in the future, and Yuan Shu was also very happy and clearly divided the labor, Sun Jian charged, and Yuan Shu supplied food and grass.
When he arrived at Luoyang City, he directly started fighting, and Dong Zhuo led his troops out of the city to see that Sun Jian was coming, and he turned back in fright. Sun Jian, however, did not adhere to it, defeated Dong Zhuojun, and beheaded the general Hua Xiong (note that it was not Guan Yu).
At this time, Yuan Shu was afraid that Sun Jian would develop and grow and go out independently, and would not supply food and grass, Sun Jian came to see Yuan Shu overnight to be accountable, and threw the knife on the table when he met, Brother Jian in society, people don't talk much, Yuan Shu was so scared that he almost peed, and quickly apologized for transporting food and grass.
Dong Zhuo was also provoked, sent someone to find Sun Jian to say peace, put forward two peace relatives, what requirements are casual, how many people from the Sun family want to enter the imperial court You make a list, how much gold and silver jewelry I want I will not row down a silver or two, it can be said that it is one of the most humble peace schemes in history.
But Sun Jian just said: I want your head!
When encountering such a living Yan King, there is no way, and he can't afford to hide, which is another important reason why Dong Zhuo moved the capital. So Dong Zhuo fled to Chang'an, Luoyang was burned, and after Lü Bu personally broke off, Sun Jian stepped forward to beat Lü Bu fat, defeating Lü Bu.
Sun Jian stood at the head of the ruined city, looking at the ruins of the broken ruins of the city, and Luoyang was finally clean. He cleaned the emperor's temple and sacrificed his ancestors with three animals, and the setting sun shone on his red turban.
Invincible, how lonely.
Luoyang don't cry, because in the near future, you will usher in a new life.
Predict what will happen and listen to the next breakdown.
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