Stepping out of the inner roll and raising children with a sunshine mentality, parents can do this

introduction

Involution has been prevalent in the field of education for a long time, and it seems to be commonplace for parents.

But for children, the challenges and pressures they face can be quite large. Their biggest pressure comes from study pressure, which is essentially the pressure to go to school.

This kind of pressure may urge children to grow faster, but it will inevitably bring a heavy burden to their psychology.

In recent years, the incidence of psychological problems among primary and secondary school students has shown an upward trend, and serious ones have even taken extreme roads, and they have made extreme actions without saying a word with teachers and parents, which is not uncommon in reality.

In today's increasingly rich material life, why are children's psychological problems increasing? Of course, there are many reasons for this problem, but it is undeniable that in the process of blindly pursuing academic performance, we intentionally or unintentionally ignore the psychological needs of children, and even deviate from the direction of education.

When the problem is in front of us, how can we do it to help children establish a healthy and sunny psychological state? These are all questions that we need to explore in depth.

01 Academic performance is not the be-all of a child

Objectively speaking, academic performance is very important, without a certain score, you cannot get into the ideal school. This is the reality before us.

But academic performance is not the only thing a child is, in other words, academic performance is not the only measure of a child.

But the problem is that many parents only see their children's scores, and they don't see anything else.

Just like a friend of mine's child, she is obviously very good and motivated, and her academic performance belongs to the first echelon in the class, but because her parents are not satisfied, she always puts forward higher performance requirements, which causes the child to feel pressured.

This leads us to reflect: are we placing too much emphasis on children's academic performance at the expense of their physical, mental and other aspects of development?

To measure whether a child is excellent, we cannot only look at test scores, but also in all-round development, that is, to measure the value of children from diversity.

We should encourage children to try and develop in aspects such as art, sports, and socialization, so that their abilities can be comprehensively improved.

In this process, parents should be guides, not pressurers. Parents should constantly encourage their children to explore their interests, develop their potential, and downplay excessive attention to test scores.

02 Do not control children in the name of "I am all for your good"

"I'm not all for your own good," is a common phrase used by many parents to justify their control over their children's behavior.

However, this kind of control in the name of love is actually a deprivation of the child's individual freedom.

Under this over-control, the child will only feel bound, not cared for and protected.

We must break all kinds of misunderstandings in the cognition of family education, especially the behavior of controlling children.

In the process of growing up children, it is inevitable to face the problem of various choices. The child should have some choice within the child's ability.

One of the educational responsibilities of parents is to respect their children's independence and give them enough space to explore and experiment, rather than making all the decisions for their children.

Only in this way can children learn how to think independently and learn how to make their own choices; In order to truly grow through trial and error, instead of becoming fearful and unassertive under the control of parents.

03 Protect your child's independence

A child's independence plays a crucial role in their mental health.

Common sense tells us that a child who can think independently and act independently will not only be better able to cope with the challenges of study and life, but also be able to establish healthy interpersonal relationships.

On the contrary, if children lack independence, they may be overly dependent on their parents in their studies and lives, lack the ability to make self-decisions, and may even lose their self-worth cognition and become "giant babies" in the eyes of others.

How can you respect and protect your children's independence while caring for them? We may wish to protect children's independence from the following three aspects.

◐ First, as parents, you should understand that children are not their own accessories, they are completely independent in personality, and parents should allow them to have their own thoughts and feelings.

Therefore, from the perspective of respecting the child's personality, parents need to respect the child's choices and be willing to listen to them.

Second, parents should give their children enough freedom and space to give them the opportunity to solve problems on their own and complete tasks independently.

In this link, parents also need to help their children build self-confidence through encouragement and affirmation, so that they believe that they have the ability to face life independently.

◐ Third, parents should avoid excessive interference in their children's lives and let them learn self-regulation and self-management, so that they can truly cultivate children with independent personality and independent life.

epilogue

To put it in a thousand ways, children's growth is not smooth sailing, there will always be ups and downs. Parents should accompany their children's growth with a more open, inclusive and understanding attitude.

Children will eventually face the world independently in the future, so we must have a sense of precautions, trust the children who get along with each other day and night, let go of the children's growth moderately, and believe that they can become a better version of themselves.

Let children find themselves and realize themselves in being loved and respected, and eventually grow into children with sunshine psychology who have the ability to face the challenges of life.