In 1990, I started a hardware processing factory, which was very difficult at first and had a hard time living.
I remember that year, I was 40 years old, in the prime of life, but I also faced a major decision in life. Many colleagues choose to go to the sea to do business, and I watched the four small mouths at home to eat, and finally plucked up the courage to decide to start a business.
I rented a factory building that had already closed down, with a total area of more than 500 square meters, including factory space and office space.
"Lao Li, are you dreaming? A poor bastard also wants to start a business? Neighbor Aqing heard that I was going to open a factory and sneered.
My relatives also advised me not to take risks, and not to jump without strength. When my college classmate Xiaoyu heard this, he took the initiative to give me a sum of money: "Lao Li, brother, I have 3,000 yuan here, you use it first, don't let your wife and children suffer."
I gratefully accepted Xiaoyu's kindness, and the money helped me through the toughest times. I was busy shopping for materials during the day, and at night I drove my bike door-to-door for the factory to recruit workers.
Finally, with my unremitting efforts, the hardware processing factory started, and I hired more than a dozen workers and began to take orders to produce hardware accessories.
In the beginning, orders were very volatile, and I could only take on some businesses with very low gross margins. The workers' wages were not enough, and I had to borrow money from friends and relatives for emergencies.
Once, I was tormented by the closure of my factory due to a customer owing me a large amount of money.
I wrote in my diary.
I also sold blood once to cover my family's food expenses. When I returned home with a small sum of blood station fees, my four-year-old daughter, Xinyi, threw herself into my arms and asked, "Dad, what's wrong with your arm?" ”。
I had mixed feelings in my heart, and I could only hold her and answer: "Dad is fine, he is tired from work, it will be fine in a few days." ”
After this bottleneck, I improved the quality of my products, renegotiated the payment, and finally got through the storm. I started working more than ten hours a day, and my business gradually improved, and my family life gradually became more prosperous.
For the sake of my children's future, I must carry this job, otherwise I, the boss, will go bankrupt. I can't let my family be embarrassed in the eyes of outsiders, let alone live up to their expectations.
Finally, after years of hard work, my small business slowly gained a foothold. I also began to have the spare energy to care for my family, especially my most beloved daughter Xinyi.
In order to support my family, I worked tirelessly for more than ten hours, and after hard work, I started my business.
After the hardware processing factory slowly got on track, my life was finally no longer strained. But instead of slackening, I worked harder, spending more than a dozen hours a day in the factory.
I used to wake up at five or six in the morning, clean up and ride to the factory. I'm going to check yesterday's order progress and deploy today's production schedule.
When I got home, my wife urged me to go to bed early, but I also had to check the accounts and calculate the profits. At two or three o'clock in the morning, I went to sleep, and it was like this day after day.
"Lao Li, you have to push yourself every day." My wife was worried about my health and advised me to work less overtime.
"I'm fine, if something goes wrong with the company, we'll have to live a bad life again." I keep working tirelessly.
For the future development of my children, I have to work harder to earn money. The boss is about to go to high school, and the tuition fee will cost tens of thousands of yuan a semester.
The second and third are still in junior high school, and their tuition fees also need me to worry about. My only daughter, Xinyi, is going to elementary school this year, she is so smart and cute, I have to plan for her future.
I started limiting my expenses and saving more. I know that children may not understand my hardships now, but I am sure that in the future they will appreciate my efforts.
I always remind myself that I am the pillar of this family, and everyone depends on my labor to survive. I can't fall because I have a burden not only on myself, but also on the future of my entire family.
Once, Xinyi suddenly had a high fever, and I hurried home to accompany her to the hospital. After the doctor prescribed the medicine, she hugged me and refused to let go, coquettishly saying: "Dad, can you not go to work today to play with me?" ”。
I looked at her distressedly and whispered: "Dad will accompany you today, don't go to work, let's have fun!" "I left my job for a while and spent a rare father-daughter time with her.
For the happiness of my family, I must continue to work hard. Because I know that their smiling faces are my biggest motivation.
All three sons were busy with their own careers and rarely came home to see me, and I was full of disappointment.
Now the children are all grown up, all of them are out there to make careers, and they rarely come home to see me.
The eldest son, Xiaochuan, was admitted to a key university in Beijing and found a decent job in a multinational company after graduation.
I called him, and he always rushed to say he was going to a meeting. I don't go home for the New Year and holidays, at most it's a video call.
The second son Xiaolong has a more jumpy personality, and after graduating from college, he did not find a suitable job, so he started his own business at home and sold an online store.
When I asked him to go home for a meal and reunion, he directly refused: "Traditional thinking like you is really awkward, I have to work hard to earn money to support my family, why do I have to go home!" "I was angry and sad when I heard this.
The third son, Xiaofei, was admitted to the civil service and was assigned to work in a county town. He was busy with meetings and reports every day, was stressed at work, and rarely went home.
Once I mentioned to him that I was going to hold a birthday banquet for my birthday, and he immediately said: "I have to ask the leader, I am still serving in the county unit, and I can't participate in the banquet casually, which is not good for the career."
The children are so busy, and they don't care about my old father's feelings. Our once close family members are now as distant as strangers.
I felt deeply lonely and lost, each of my sons broke out of their own lives outside, and I, the father, was forgotten by them in the corner of memory.
I know they've grown up and have their own lives and careers, but it's good to come home and see me once in a while. I really miss their innocence as children, memories that belong only to us.
Now they have forgotten who I am and what I have done for them. Their cold and busy figures deeply stung my heart.
Although Xinyi worked hard, she never complained to me, often came home to see me, and we had a very close relationship.
Since graduating from Xinyi University, she went to work as a nurse in a large hospital. I know that she has a hard job, often working night shifts and dealing with vexatious patients.
But she never brought up the difficulties in front of me, just smiled softly all the time. Every time I asked her if she was tired from work, she would say, "It's okay dad, I like my job, my colleagues are friendly, don't worry about me."
She would come home every weekend to see me, bring me all kinds of supplements, and carefully shush me. We always talked all day, and she shared with me what she saw and felt in the hospital.
She would cook me all kinds of good food and would take me for a walk in the nearby park. We walked along the boulevard holding hands, watching the children play, and before we knew it, we had spent the afternoon.
Every time I left, she always reluctantly told me: "Dad, you have to take care of yourself alone, I will come back to see you soon."
I knew she had a life and friends of her own, but she never left behind to contact me. Every week we would talk on the phone, and she would care about whether I ate well and slept well.
I enjoy the feeling of connecting with my daughter. She is like the most delicate flower in my heart, and I want to pamper her and pamper her as much as I can.
Once, Xinyi rushed home to celebrate my birthday and made me a big cake. She plugged in the candles one by one and asked me to make a wish.
Xinyi is my pearl in the palm of my hand, and I am willing to give everything I have in exchange for her smiling face. I knew she would be with me on the last journey of my life.
I reflected on my past not caring enough for my daughter and always favoring my son, and I want to correct this mistake.
Over the years, I have always favored my son over my daughter. For Xinyi, I rarely praise and encourage, and often ignore her feelings.
I remember the year she graduated from elementary school, she went to the mall alone to buy her three son's favorite toys, but forgot to prepare a gift for her as well.
Later, Xinyi Middle School Entrance Examination won the third place in the city, and she said to me excitedly: "Dad, you promised that if I was admitted to a key high school, you would buy me a laptop!" I replied "next time" rather than nothing, ignoring her sad look.
Later, when Xinyi was in college, she wrote me a letter about her studies and life. I tore it up and threw it in the trash.
I have always believed that raising children should be the first priority, but I have neglected that daughters also need the love of their fathers. Xinyi, who is now an adult, has always cared for me and thoughtfully made me see the preciousness of family affection.
"Dad, you paid too much for us. I remember it all in my heart and will take good care of you in the future.
It was I who owed her childhood, and I will make up for it with the rest of my life. I stroked her hair and whispered, "Dad will always accompany you in the future, and I will always have your daughter in my heart."
My sons have their own lives, and my final destination is my daughter's arms. I want to do my best to compensate her and make her feel the deepest love from her father.