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The bond between mother and child is deep and inseparable. This connection is not only a blood connection, but also the precipitation of years and the deep immersion of love.
The mother, the child's earliest mentor in life, played a role of caring, sheltering and educating from the moment of the child's first day.
Mothers selflessly dedicate their time, energy and endless love, silently caring for every need and subtle change of their children.
A great mother can also be a friend as her child grows up. They are not only the objects of children's confiding, but also guides and role models, experiencing the bittersweet and bitter of life with children.
Share each other's joys and frustrations. They encourage children to pursue their dreams, give them the space to be independent, and provide guidance and support without hesitation. It's an unconditional love,
No matter how many mistakes the child makes, or loses his way, mothers will tolerate and forgive, because their only wish is for the happiness and growth of the child without expecting anything in return.
However, real life is often not so rosy, especially in sick families of origin, and the influence of the mother may not be a catalyst for shaping a good future, but a scar for a lifetime.
Toxic mother, this term may not be unfamiliar. Psychologist Susan Foward calls parents who endanger their children's growth "toxic parents," and this harm is often not accidental.
Nor is it just temporary, but continuous and habitual harm to children.
First, there are mothers who are overly controlling. In some lives, there are mothers who control their children far beyond their normal limits. They do not allow children to have independent thinking and opinions.
Children are not allowed to go against their will. These mothers are afraid that their children will be out of their control and do not need them, and they fear that their children will live independently. Once the child tries to take a step towards independence,
These mothers will feel great pain, as if life has lost its luster.
Such mothers base their own worth and sense of existence on the control and domination of their children. They believe that only by manipulating their children's lives can they prove their importance and value.
Once children show independence and gradually stop relying on excessive interference from their mothers, they feel greatly threatened and fear that their status and role will be weakened. This worry and anxiety further deepens the mother's inner vulnerability and insecurity,
Fearing abandonment or forgetting, they try to maintain intimacy through control, but this excessive control only limits the growth and development of the child and alienates the mother and child.
In the TV series "Little Huanxi", Song Qian's parents are a typical example. To monitor their daughter's every move, they changed the wall between her bedroom and living room to transparent glass.
In addition, they also overly interfered with a series of things such as their daughter's participation in winter camps and filling out college entrance examination volunteers, which directly caused her daughter to suffer from moderate depression.
Secondly, mothers who have verbally abused behavior. When children are young, their self-perception and self-esteem are not fully established, so their self-worth is largely determined by the evaluation of their parents.
If mothers frequently abuse and belittle their children, then the child's heart will be severely traumatized, and they may feel helpless, anxious, and even self-doubtful, believing that they are not worthy of respect and love.
Some parents often abuse their children with derogatory language, and they are criticized and blamed for whatever the child does, which is typical verbal abuse.
Such parents usually have two distinguishing characteristics: frequent verbal abuse and extreme speech. The combination of these two behaviors can cause great harm to children, forcing them to constantly seek parental approval,
Become transparent in the family storm and gradually suppress real thoughts
to cater to parents' expectations.
For these children, in order to please their parents, they constantly deny their own values and needs, and even suppress their true thoughts. Such psychological trauma will leave deep scars in their upbringing,
Influence them to build healthy self-awareness and self-esteem.
In addition, there are physically abusive mothers. In China, some families still consider corporal punishment to be a traditional form of education, believing that only through corporal punishment can children become strong and not afraid of difficulties.
However, with the evolution of social concepts and the progress of the times, it is increasingly recognized that corporal punishment does not really educate children, but can bring them lasting and profound harm.
Physically abusive mothers usually do not impose corporal punishment on their children because of their children's mistakes, but because their emotional stress cannot be released, and they will vent this pressure on their children.
These mothers may suffer from psychological problems such as overemphasis on control, improper emotional management, lack of self-esteem, etc., which cause them to translate emotions and the need for the family into violence against their children.
Although there is no perfect mother and everyone has their own shortcomings and shortcomings, we must be cautious when it comes to the education of our children. cannot impose one's psychological deficit on the child,
You can't try to meet your needs with your child. We need to understand that maternal love should be selfless and centered on the happiness and growth of our children, rather than satisfying our own desires.
Ultimately, mothers are important supporters in their children's lives, and their love and care have a profound impact on their children's development. However, toxic maternal behavior can cause lasting harm to children,
Hinder their healthy growth. Therefore, we need to pay more attention to homeschooling and helping toxic mothers improve their behavior to ensure that every child thrives in a loving and caring environment.
The above content and materials are derived from the Internet, and the author of this article does not intend to target or allude to any real country, political system, organization, race, individual. The above does not mean that the author of this article endorses the laws, rules, opinions, behaviors in the article and is responsible for the authenticity of the relevant information. The author of this article is not responsible for any issues arising above or related to any of the above, nor does it assume any direct or indirect legal liability.