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During the May Day holiday, I received a call from my parents inviting us to dinner as a family. At first, I thought it would be a moment of reunion, but it turned into an unexpected family argument.
Even though our family lives in the same city, it was an hour's drive from our home to my parents' house. On the same day, we left a little late due to my eldest daughter's unwell, so we didn't arrive home until around 11pm.
When I was stuck in traffic, I called my mom and told her we were almost there and that I planned to meet them at the restaurant. Because usually, my wife and I are in charge of cooking. But this time the time was too hasty and there were many people, and there was no time to prepare.
When we entered my parents' house, we were surprised to find that my younger brother and sister were busy preparing dinner, and the table was already full of five dishes. My parents saw us back and warmly beckoned us to sit down and told us that the meal would be ready soon.
My wife volunteered, "Don't bother, I can go to the kitchen to help." "But my parents adamantly refused to let us into the kitchen to help, which surprised and flattered us very much.
Because my brother's family lives with my parents, my parents always say that they are filial and usually do not let them do housework. And when we come back, of course, we must also do our filial piety, and we cannot let our younger brother and sister work. This time, the situation was unprecedented.
At the dinner table, my brother mentioned his son Pippi and said that he was five years old and would be in elementary school next year, and he wanted to buy a school district house. However, the price of the school district house in a good school was very expensive, and he could not afford it, so he offered to buy my school district house for 600,000 yuan.
I was incredulous at my brother's offer: "I only have one house, and I can't sell it to you." In three years, my two daughters will also be in elementary school. What will happen to my daughters if I sell you the school district house! ”
My brother said, "Rice and millet are still very small, and they don't need the school district house for the time being. Besides, I didn't ask you for nothing, when you spent more than 500,000 yuan to buy this house, I will give you 600,000, can't you? ”
I couldn't help but laugh: "I bought this house eight years ago, and the price is much higher now than it was then." This house is worth at least 1.2 million, and you offer 600,000 to buy it, which is simply a pipe dream. ”
However, my sister said, "Big brother, you are too calculating. We buy homes to send our children to school, not to add value to our investments. How can you open your mouth and ask for 1.2 million, after all, it is your brother's money." ”
My wife then said, "Your eldest brother is talking about the market price, not selling the house to you for 1.2 million. Even if you pay 1.2 million, we won't sell the house. We spent all our savings and took out a loan to buy this house so that our children could go to school. Seeing that in two or three years, the children will be going to school, how can we sell the house? ”
My brother insisted, "It will take three more years for the twins to go to school, and Pippi will go to school next year." You sell me the house, let Pippi go to school first, and when the twins go to school, you buy another set. I can give you some money then..."
I said angrily, "Do you think the house is a cabbage?" Buy one set, buy one! Your sister-in-law is at home full-time to take care of the children, and I have to support four people alone. After the birth of my child, I happened to encounter the epidemic, and I have spent more than my income for the past three years, where can I get the money to buy a house? ”
My mother, seeing that I was upset, joined the argument: "If you don't have money to buy it, don't buy it." In the future, if our two granddaughters can't go to school, we will move their hukou to my house and let them go to school here. ”
I said, "This is too much trouble. Pippi's hukou is on my house, and he can go directly to the primary school here. There is no need to make it so complicated. ”
However, my brother insisted, "The school here is not as good as yours." The school on your side is ranked high in the city, and the school here is far from comparable. The school environment here is poor, and the teachers are unstable..."
I proposed: "You can use your six hundred thousand as a down payment, mine is yours."
Buy a second-hand house with a mortgage in the community. But my brother responded: "I don't want to buy a house with a mortgage, so I have to pay the loan every month." ”
I said, "Either you pay the full price for the house yourself, or you have Pippi go to school on your parents' side, it's your choice." But I must not touch my house, it is a school district house I prepared for my daughters, and I will not sell it. ”
My brother insisted, "It's just two girls, what a good school." Pippi is the only seedling of our family, and it is very important to go to a good school. ”
I was so angry that I stood up, slapped the table, and stared at my brother seriously: "What are you talking about, dare you repeat it again?" My brother was silent and stopped talking.
However, my dad chimed in: "Don't slap the table!" Did your brother say something wrong? Sooner or later, the daughters will have to get married, and no matter how good they are, they are not members of our family. Pippi is different, he is the future of our family! I will give you 600,000 yuan, and you will transfer the property to your brother. ”
I knew my parents had patriarchal mentality, but I didn't expect them to stick to this point. My brother did not do well in school, and although he was five years younger than me, he got married early and had children, and then dropped out of school to work. Despite his modest income, he was able to grow his family size thanks to a relationship with a female colleague.
Three years ago, my wife gave birth to twin daughters, and my parents left after only one day in the hospital. When my wife was in confinement, my mother-in-law took care of her, and my mother said that two-year-old Pippi was too clingy to live without her.
I asked my father, "My house, why are you in charge?" When you bought the house, you didn't pay a penny, and this house is the result of my wife and I working together. This house is now our husband and wife's, the future is our daughter's, and no one can touch it. ”
My father broke a cup angrily, and my brother quickly walked over, calmed him, and then reproached me: "Brother, why are you angry with our father?" ”
I sneered: "Don't take advantage and act like a good person." What else can you do besides coaxing your parents and relying on them? ”
I went on to say, "I bought this house with my wife, and she paid 40% of the money. So, I don't have the right to add your name to the title deed. ”
Although my brother and sister did not come to me again to talk about it, my parents kept calling me and accusing me of being unfilial. They thought that my daughters would marry into someone else's family in the future and that it was not worth leaving the house to them, and that I should leave the house to my nephew Pippi because he was the future of the family.
Then, my parents tried to change my mind and get me to agree with their view that Pippi was the foundation of the family, the hope for the future. If I am good to him, I will have a future to rely on when I am old. Otherwise......
Although the ideology of the family cannot be seen or touched, it profoundly affects our behavior. My parents' patriarchal thinking was ingrained, and my younger brother and sister benefited from it. To make matters worse, my nephew Pippi was also influenced by this thought. Although he is only five years old, he has already begun to say the words "I am the only seedling, and my sisters will not be our family in the future". It made me feel angry and frustrated.
In this family argument, I stood my ground. I will not be easily swayed because my daughters are my responsibility, not my parents or brother's. I firmly believe that they will live happily ever after, regardless of the path they choose. This controversy also made me more determined to defend the rights and interests of my family, not to let patriarchal thinking dictate my decisions.
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