It is the duty of children to take care of elderly and sick parents, but the reality is often unsatisfactory, and even the deepest family affection can become vulnerable to reality. Giving constantly does not necessarily earn the gratitude of parents, but may lead to blame and arguments.
In healthy times, the family is harmonious and united, and the family is warm. However, when the children's efforts are not rewarded, exhaustion is inevitable over time. The slogan "You raise me small, I raise you old" is simple on the surface, but it is full of challenges in practice.
Recently, the news of the full lifting of the lockdown came, and Aunt Xiaozhen returned to her hometown after two years, preparing to take care of her seriously ill mother. Previously, because of the epidemic, she had been worried that she would be quarantined when she returned home, so she had been entrusting her brother to take care of her mother and pay more money herself. However, the brother often complained, and the mother always complained to the aunt.
These circumstances made Aunt Xiaozhen uneasy, and she began to think: "Is it true that my brother is not careful enough?" So, she decided to take the initiative to go home to take care of it after the lockdown was lifted. Her brother warned her in advance that her mother might have a bad temper due to her illness and needed to be mentally prepared.
At the beginning, the mother was enthusiastic about her aunt, everything was in order, and it was easy and pleasant to take care of. However, the good times did not last long, and within a month, the mother's temper began to be capricious, her words were mean, and she blamed her children for not being filial.
For example, one day, Aunt Xiaozhen had just finished the work at hand and was about to call her children, because she had been away from home for a long time and missed a little. But within three minutes, my mother suddenly woke up and kept directing her aunt to do this and that, and her words were unpleasant. The children on the other end of the phone felt abnormal.
What is even more troublesome is that as long as outsiders come to visit, my mother begins to "pour bitter water", complaining that her life is not good, and even hinting that she would rather die soon. Aunt Xiaozhen was troubled and worried that outsiders would misunderstand her.
In less than a month, Aunt Xiaozhen felt extremely tired. She finally understood her brother's hard work in the past few years and understood that "filial piety" is not an easy task.
Many families are facing a similar situation. Some elderly parents become strange because of physical discomfort or loneliness, expecting the care of their children on the one hand, but showing yin and yang strange temperament on the other hand, and staying away from their children. Perhaps, in this way, they try to attract the attention of their children and seek their own sense of value.
But the end result is usually that the children feel tired and they crave liberation. For example, my friend used to have a strong relationship with my grandmother, but since her grandmother fell ill, her personality has changed dramatically. After months of caregiving, the friend felt physically and mentally exhausted and in desperate need of relief.
Everyone's energy is limited, and if it is constantly consumed, it will eventually be exhausted. Caring for sick parents also costs time and money, which gradually erodes children's emotions and forces them to face reality.
In particular, some partial parents are cold to their children on weekdays, but suddenly become close when they need to be taken care of. They give their children time and energy, but instead of showing gratitude, they leave their possessions to their preferred children. This attitude will undoubtedly deplete the feelings of children and cause them to no longer be willing to give.
To solve this problem, you first need to put the right mindset in place. We should be mentally prepared for the possibility of "old age" in the future, and do not expect that our children will take care of themselves, because no one can predict the future.
Second, we must have a certain amount of savings as a foundation. Whatever happens, you can use your savings to save an emergency, lighten the burden on your children, or hire a caregiver to ensure your quality of life. Therefore, when you are young, you should save more money and plan your finances.
In short, caring for sick parents is an important responsibility, but children also need to protect their mental and economic health. Only with a reasonable mindset and financial preparation can we better cope with the future