During the Dragon Boat Festival, every family eats rice dumplings, but her 4-year-old niece cries and wants to eat unspeakable mooncakes. The sister was furious and squashed the rice dumplings and handed them over. The niece, who was crying and fighting with her face, took the rice dumplings, and Dingzi immediately ate it happily.
The sister-in-law asked her brother: "If you are still married in the next life, do you want a boy or a girl first?" The younger brother looked at it and said, "I still want daughters, and it's better to have more daughters." My sister-in-law asked again: How many children do you plan to have? The brother said calmly: "Don't talk about the football team, there must be at least three!" My sister-in-law grabbed my brother's ears angrily, "You actually want to find three lovers in your life, are you worthy of me?" "Now? I, my sister-in-law, began to cry the moment I received the brand-name handbag, and finally laughed. God replied: Doesn't that mean that the daughter is the lover of the father's previous life, and this can also be an excuse?
My colleague is a foodie. She went to eat a large bowl of beef noodles, but she was not full, and she was embarrassed to order it again. So she went out for a walk, and when she came back, she shouted to her boss: "Have you ever seen someone who looks exactly like me?" "The boss said she ate a bowl of noodles and left. My friend said: That's my twin sister, give me a bowl of noodles too. Are you saying that women can't die for face?
When I was in high school, there was a watermelon outside the school walls. After studying at ten o'clock in the evening, I discussed stealing my watermelon with some of my classmates in the dormitory. One is responsible for picking the melons outside the wall, one is responsible for the relay race on the wall, and I am responsible for picking the melons inside the wall. Just as I was stealing the joy, the teacher's teacher came, and I ran away with a bang, and as a result, my friend riding on the wall was caught and caught. I hid in a dark corner and faintly heard the dean shouting, "It's so late, what are you doing here!" The unfortunate classmate said weakly: "I ride the wall and watch!" ”
How can you tell if a woman is really full on a date? Ask her directly: "Have you eaten enough?" "This is a common mistake made by straight men. Regardless of the full dissatisfaction, the answer you get is full, or almost no need... The correct answer should be, have you ever secretly watched her mend her lipstick? If you put lipstick all over, it's a sign that you've eaten enough and don't want to eat anymore! Women can cheat on men at will, but never waste makeup!
After the New Year, his wife vowed to lose weight. ~~~~~ I ate boiled cabbage for dinner for a month. Not only did I not lose weight, but I gained two pounds. I also find it strange. Until one day, I left work early and saw from a distance this idiot walk into a stew shop, buy half a duck and a bottle of Coke, go to a nearby park to eat, and then pretend to be nothing.
Dad asked me, the "otaku" often said on the Internet is a person like you who watches anime all day, right? "Well, no, in a broad sense, otaku, means being very passionate and skilled in a particular field. People like Dad who study cars every day can also be called car geeks. "yes. At that time we did not have the word "house". "So what is this kind of person called?" "It's called neuropathy." “
An old man went to the bank to run an errand, and suddenly wanted to go to the toilet, so he asked the security guard: "Where is your toilet?" The security guard said enthusiastically, "Follow me." "Then took him to the toilet. At the door of the toilet, the old man boasted: "I have been to so many banks, but your bank service is the best and most in place, and even the toilet is guided!" The security guard smiled and replied, "Wherever, I also want to go to the bathroom in my bank!" ”
There is a conflict between the wife and the alcoholic husband. One day, she saw a news item in the newspaper and said to her husband, "Look, how dangerous it is to drink!" The newspapers said that a young man got drunk and fell from the boat and drowned. ” ”。 The husband busily said: "Let me see... The man drowned in the water, how can he blame the wine! ”