At the age of 45, I was supposed to be an easy time in my life to welcome the transition between middle and old, but I was laid off in May, and although unemployment was not what I wanted, it still came, and I chose to be optimistic.
I was in middle age and not many days away from retirement, so I thought I might as well take this opportunity to change my life and do something I wanted to do.
It's just that my idea at that time, which seemed good, was too naïve. Unlike other colleagues, who are as anxious as ants on a hot pot, I choose to be an outsider instead of interceding or pulling relationships.
Unexpectedly, after 4 months, I fell into a procrastinating confusion, became slow to act, extremely low execution, often prone to internal friction, and wasted time, and I realized the danger.
People who reach middle age can relax, but cannot lie flat. The pit I have stepped on in the past 4 months is shared with you who are unemployed or in transition!
1. Initial layoffs
Just unemployed, it is false to say that it is not uncomfortable, although I am happy on the surface, but I am still very confused and reluctant in my heart! The unit that has worked for almost 15 years, regards it as a lifelong dedication, but says that layoffs will be layoffs, and I am still a person who has been kicked out, which is a failure.
I used to think that I was working very hard, but in the process of working hard, I don't know when I also became a monk for a day, this seemingly stable mentality, but in fact, there is no merit and hard work thinking, so that I have the intention of lying flat.
I do not seek progress, only seek no fault, I act according to the requirements of the leader like a spinning top, seemingly busy, but I have lost the value of the exchange of benefits. The ruthless workplace never talks about feelings, only looks at human feelings, you don't have a tough relationship, you can only be eliminated fate.
The fear in my heart at the beginning of unemployment is not proportional to the strength on the surface, I have no sense of security, I can't eat and sleep, and I am not as optimistic as I think.
Although I have always been in the workplace, after all, I have not looked for a job for more than 10 years, and the two-point front-line life has long tempered my fighting spirit and competitive momentum.
Looking at the small amount of food left in my bank card, I began to learn to bow to my husband and express my professional confusion. When I was middle-aged, I realized that I was a free man, seemingly free, but I didn't have many choices. It is simply impossible to take care of both the family and the children.
In the previous month, from not accepting to accepting, this process is only known by those who have experienced it, how difficult it is, and the imbalance in the heart and the confusion about the future can easily crush a person's self-confidence.
2. Recognition of unemployment
Slowly, I accepted unemployment! After working for 15 years, I was still laid off, and even if I found someone to continue working for another 10 years, the result was retirement, and I still had to enter the society and return to the family. At that time, if you want to find a job, it is estimated that no one will ask for it!
It's better to be 10 years late! Only by recognizing reality is there a chance to change. A month later, I calmed down, accepted my job and started planning my own travel itinerary.
Anyway, I am free, I have the right to choose my life, and I just use the summer vacation to accompany my children and have a journey that I can walk away!
So, I went from being unemployed to being a full-time housewife, cooking well for my children, cleaning the household, and washing clothes every day.
Not long after, I was bored, I was alone at home all day, there was no one to talk to, and when I went to work, I could still talk to my colleagues.
I gave myself an excuse to rest, worked for 15 years, relaxing for a while is no big deal! Just give yourself a holiday!
Immediately after I went to Xi'an, Beijing, Chengdu for a walk, people were tired, thought about traveling for a long time, and did not have their own satisfaction, no matter where there are crowded people, eating barbecue and Internet celebrity food, in addition to the local culture, the scenery feels a little similar.
No wonder people say that travel is from where you are tired of staying to where others are tired! Although I am tired and tired, I feel that life is still very fresh.
3. Unemployment lies flat
After returning from the trip, I was unemployed for 3 months, at this time the child began to make up homework frantically, and I also realized that I used to learn the habit of getting up early every day, I don't know how long I stopped, looking at the previous records, I was very disappointed in my heart. What do I say to my children to lead by example and teach by example?
In addition to cooking every day, I just think about how to eat, start chasing dramas when I am bored, don't sleep in the morning and don't sleep at night, and occasionally wake up is constantly regretting. The most torturous thing is to see my husband's face every month and reach out for money.
Only then did I truly feel that choice determines life, how I fell to live the life I hated the most. Without self, I just know to enjoy the numb state of the moment.
I want to change, but I don't want to pull my face down and look for a job, after all, when people reach middle age, age is the biggest obstacle. I can't overcome this fear myself.
4. In just 4 months of unemployment, I walked through the pits:
1) Don't let unemployment be a reason for everything you do
Self-comfort, giving yourself unlimited rest, letting unemployment become an excuse, and experiencing a life without learning and no skills are the most terrible states after unemployment.
2. Self-healing cannot stop learning
I gave up learning, only knew that I was confused, and did not think that this confusion would make people stagnate or even go backwards.
3. Once relaxed, there will be endless compromise.
Because of boredom began to chase dramas, this kind of life falling into emptiness will only degenerate the will and rigidize the heart. People cannot be separated from life, let alone lose communication.
4. Change requires blood, and only when you feel pain can you know the danger.
When I realized that I needed to change, it was because I accidentally saw that the child also changed from a self-disciplined person to holding the mobile phone every day, except for eating and sleeping, that is, watching TikTok to play games.
This is a miniature version of me, and my indulgence alone has changed the lives of two people. And I almost ruined the child under the pretext of accompanying the child!
I realized the crisis, I understood that I was wrong, I wanted to change, I wanted to reactivate myself!
I started to join the early camp, I wanted to start by reading to restore my self-discipline, now that the children have started, I don't want to look for a job right away, I want to get a certificate first, restart a different life.
After losing your job, how did you get by? And what are the different stages? You can communicate in the comment area! Some netizens asked me to build an unemployment group, and interested people can find me!
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