Can do housework, can cook, be escorted to Tsinghua, this method of raising a son by a mother is worth promoting

On the program "Youth Says", there is a junior high school student named Fu Xuanang, who stands on the high pulpit and expresses his appeal to his mother under the preaching stage with resentment: Don't force me to do housework anymore! Why do I have to do housework!

His mother not only refused this request, but also added a new housework: let Fu Xuanang wash his underwear and socks from today onwards.

The students next to him laughed loudly, and Fu Xuanang on the podium looked unconvinced.

At that time, I felt that this mother was very structured and courageous, and the learning tasks of junior high school students were still very heavy, and she actually let the children do housework after writing homework!

Doesn't it delay children's learning? The time taken up by housework allows children to read two more books and do more sets of questions.

It turns out that this mother's practice did not delay the child's study, because Fu Xuanang had been sent to Tsinghua University on bail.

This mother's educational philosophy for her son is worth promoting to all parents with boys.

Housework is an important part of a boy's development and cannot be separated from learning

Fu Xuanang protested to his mother: I am only a teenager, I am a minor, isn't my main task to study? Every day after writing my homework, I have to wash the dishes, wipe the floor, choose vegetables, and get up in the morning for a morning jog in a daze.

Mom replied like this: Housework is a part of life, learning, and life, and it is something you must undertake.

Many children, even parents, have the same understanding as Fu Xuanang: the main task of students is to study, and there is no need to undertake housework, which is not what they should do at this stage.

Based on the traditional idea of "male protagonist outside female protagonist", boys, the noble gender, do not need to do housework.

Everything that doesn't have to do with learning is a waste of time, and all activities that don't improve grades are worthless.

Parents separated the boys' lives from their studies, raising a small group of "giant babies with high scores and low abilities" and a large number of "mom and baby boys who can't study, have average careers, and can't take care of themselves at a high level of life."

In fact, housework is not a hindrance to learning, and doing housework allows boys to gain at least 3 valuable abilities:

1. Ability to coordinate planning

In a limited time, how to arrange the two projects of learning and housework can be successfully completed, requires strong overall planning ability, children need to learn to think, and order tasks according to time, urgency and other criteria.

For example, children can first put clothes in the washing machine, blister the pots and bowls with water (now many families have dishwashers, then put them directly in the dishwasher), and then go to read and study, learn that when they need to rest, the clothes are washed, and then set up the clothes, and then use 10 minutes to wash the dishes and clean up the stove, while washing the dishes, you can open documentaries, learn videos, and listen while washing.

Proper orchestration can accomplish multiple tasks at the same time in a single time period.

And many boys do not have this ability, they can only do one thing and then do another, once there are more things, they are busy.

2. Time management ability

Homework, reading, playing, sports, housework, washing, these items are what children need to do every day, but time is limited, in addition to the above overall planning ability, you also need strong time management skills, predict how long different projects will take.

In practice, children will continue to learn from experience: if I want to play longer, then I can improve the speed and save time from doing housework, homework, washing and other items.

Slowly, children will also find that if they use fragmented time, they can also accomplish a lot of things.

Of course, there is a reality that the younger children write their homework very slowly, and it is already 90 o'clock in the evening when they can finish their homework every day, so how can they have time to do housework?

Then only arrange a less time-consuming housework for the child, clean up all the dishes and chopsticks and put them in the kitchen, 5 minutes is enough, this time will always be squeezed.

The point of this is to let the child consciously know that his responsibility is not only learning, but also housework, and then internalize this consciousness through day-to-day practice and become conscious.

3. The ability to do things efficiently

In the process of increasing speed, children will definitely encounter the phenomenon that they have to rework in a hurry to do housework, and they have to rewrite homework diagrams quickly and easily make mistakes, but it takes longer, so while pursuing speed, we must also ensure quality.

Before you know it, the efficiency of the child's work has increased.

As for the goal of training boys, housework and self-care are the basic skills

Fu Xuanang had such a sentence that impressed me very deeply, he said: In the past, the housework at home was done by my mother, why is it now pushed to me, and forced me to learn to cook.

Housework belongs to mothers, belongs to women, is our previous generation and the vast majority of men now, children see their grandmother, grandmother, mother and other women consciously undertake all housework, see their grandfather, grandfather, father and other men do not do any housework, just need to earn money.

Children who are accustomed to reaching for food and opening their mouths suddenly feel unfair one day when they are asked to take on housework, and think that they have taken on labor that they should not have undertaken.

Not letting boys take on household chores and learning to take care of themselves is the biggest mistake in many families with boys.

For Fu Xuanang's dissatisfaction, his mother responded like this: Housework is a real part of life, if you want to get married and have children in the future, why should women bear all the housework? Other people's daughters were also loved and raised by their parents.

Fu Xuanang's mother has established a correct view of marriage for him, although Fu Xuanang, as a junior high school student, may not be able to understand, but if he grows up into a man who can take care of his family, his happiness index in life will improve a lot.

In recent years, the marriage and childbearing rate has continued to decrease, not only housing prices, education and other environmental constraints, but also part of the reason is that the family division of labor has changed, modern women not only have to work to earn money, but also to undertake all housework, education children and other tasks, while men are still immersed in the old model of "men only need to earn money to support the family", which will inevitably cause many family conflicts, resulting in women increasingly do not want to get married and have children.

I once joked with my friends that in the future, if men can't cook, don't do housework, and have average careers, they may have to fight for the rest of their lives.

Those of us who have boys need to think seriously about this change, change the way we raise the boy, so that he can survive and live in the first place.

To cultivate boys, we must take the ability to do housework and be able to take care of themselves as basic skills, and don't let him become a lazy person who "can't help the oil bottle is poured".

1. Cultivate boys' ability to do housework from an early age

We can assign different housework to the child according to his age, cleaning up the dishes and chopsticks at the age of three or four, washing his socks and wiping the table at the age of five or six, cleaning up the room by himself at the age of seven or eight, mopping the floor and sweeping the floor, and learning to cook in the second and third grades.

Children doing housework will be full of mistakes at the beginning, and we may need to rework, but we can't stop him from doing it because he can't do it well.

First done, then perfect.

2. Ask the father to take on the housework and set an example for the child

If we look at the men around us who are responsible for housework, we will find that his father must also do housework, and this is the role of ear and ear.

The son will use the father as a cognitive template for male roles, so in families with boys, the father must be diligent.