Nursing homes are known as the last guarantee for the elderly, but not every elderly person is suitable for living in a nursing home, so whether to choose a nursing home to retire must be combined with their actual situation, otherwise the nursing home will also become a kind of cage! ”
My name is Zhang Weigang, I am from Guizhou, and I am the owner of a second-hand car shop.
I have a very stubborn father who is 68 years old.
Since my mother died the year before last, my father has complained about me, and he has frequently mentioned in front of me that he will go to a nursing home alone.
The most fundamental reason is that I am usually too busy with work and have little time to see him.
I live in the county, he lives in the country, and I have asked him more than once to move in with us! Because he is older, I am afraid that something will happen to him at home.
But he beat to death and disagreed, saying that the countryside is used to living, the air is fresher, and if he lives in the city with us, he will live at least 10 years less!
This makes me angry too, but as a child, you can't force him to live with us, you can only let him go.
In order to be able to observe his dynamics at all times, I can only install monitors in front of and behind his house, so that I can see him in the monitoring and feel more relieved!
Last year, I specially picked him up in the city for the New Year, but he didn't come.
Also directly put a message to me:
"What am I doing with you? Do you have a better meal there? Is it a panacea? You're not my home! Either you will come to the countryside to celebrate the New Year, or we will each have our own this year! ”
I was helpless by my stubborn old father!
It can only be said:
"Oops! Everywhere to celebrate the New Year, our whole family will celebrate the New Year in our hometown this year! ”
In this way, the father's face softened a little!
On the third day of the first lunar month, before the year was over, he told me:
"Gang Baby, I'll discuss something for you! I have already thought about going to live in a nursing home, I am also old, I can't help you much, and I don't want to cause you trouble, so I want to go to a nursing home. ”
As soon as I listened, wasn't it okay to find trouble? And it's not without children.
I immediately refused and said:
"Dad! Don't you think that one out is one out, and we don't raise you, do you go to the habit of living in a nursing home? What will outsiders say about me? ”
He stood up angrily and said:
"I can't care so much about you, I decided, it's useless for you to stop me!"
When the New Year is over, I don't want to continue to quarrel with him, so I can only verbally agree first.
I thought that he was just a whim, and I forgot about it for a while!
Unexpectedly, in May, he called me again and said that he must go to a nursing home.
I had to call several times a day, and in desperation I had to agree.
Completed the procedures for a nursing home for him and sent him to a nursing home!
What I thought to myself was that he was so old that he could live if he wanted, as long as he was happy.
But what I didn't expect was that since he was admitted to a nursing home, my troubles would continue!
Only half a month after my dad moved in, I received several calls from the nursing home.
There were a few times when my dad had a conflict and quarrel with others and asked me to deal with it, and the most serious one was to beat someone else!
The other party fell directly to the ground, and asked for all kinds of examinations in the hospital to be high, and in the end, I could only lose tens of thousands of yuan to the other party to settle the matter.
I persuaded him:
"Can you change your temper? Nursing home, do you think it's in your own home? Who wants to get along with you like you? ”
He was unimpressed and couldn't listen to my words.
After returning home, my daughter-in-law asked me to take my father back, saying that if he was allowed to go on like this, maybe he would run into a big disaster in the future.
However, I know that my dad is very stubborn, and he will not listen to other people's words unless he changes his mind!
In mid-June, I was talking to a customer service in the store when my dad called me and said:
"You drive over right now and pull all my stuff back, I'm going home to live."
As soon as I listened, what kind of wind are you blowing? Why did you suddenly figure it out and want to come back and live?
I didn't ask more, I knew he loved face, say two more words, and he would be angry again.
I wish he had come back sooner and looked for less trouble!
I hurriedly drove and went through the discharge procedures for him in the nursing home, and gave him all the things back to his hometown!
When I got home, I asked him:
"Why did you stay for a month and come back? Do you still want to go to a nursing home in the future? ”
He rolled his eyes at me and said:
"To what to go? This nursing home has its own home, at home I can do whatever I want, no one can control me! ”
I thought to myself, I was not used to living in a nursing home, so I fled back.
Later, I learned from the staff of the nursing home that my father was not used to living in a nursing home!
And it doesn't fit in with the personality of the people inside, doesn't fit in, and often quarrels with them and has conflicts.
If my father himself did not propose to come back, the nursing home also wanted to persuade him to return!
After I know it, I can indeed understand that people are fine there, and everyone will be uneasy as soon as you go, who will treat you?
And I was surprised to find that my father's personality has also softened after he came back!
I used to yell in front of me, but now I have become much calmer.
For this sudden change in him, I can actually understand, after all, this pension institution is good! You can still have your own children.
I didn't break him either, knowing that he loves face, and I will take more time to go back to see him from then on!
Even if you are busy with work, you must make sure to go back almost once a week.
It is said that there is an old man in the family, such as a treasure! The older the parents, the more like children, as children, we can only understand and tolerate more.
For whether the elderly should choose a nursing home to retire, I think we must combine their actual situation!
First of all, the children must agree, and you yourself must be willing to accept this pension model.
Because after all, it's not like you're in your own home, and no one cares about what you want.
Another main thing is to be gregarious, for an unsocial old man, in a nursing home is simply torment!
Nursing homes can become a kind of old-age security for the elderly, but they may also become a constraint! How you choose is really important.