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01, my father called me "good aunt"
My mother told me that I was the product of her and my father's contraceptive failure -
When my mother gave birth to me in 1929, I was an advanced mother, and I didn't give birth for a long time, and the doctor asked my father whether to keep the adult or the child, and the father replied that it was an adult, but I didn't expect that the adults and children stayed.
My name was given by my father, "Let's start with a name 'Sea Baby'!" 'Sea baby', a child born in Shanghai, he grows up, he can use it if he wants to, he can change it if he is not willing to use it." From this point of view, my father is very democratic, he is such a baby, and he also respects my future independent choices.
My father told me with a Shaoxing accent, and he called me "good aunt," a bit like the Cantonese way children are called.
Seventy years ago, the summer humidity in Shanghai was very high, there was no air conditioning, my body and back were wet all day, and every summer, I always had to grow prickly, red and itchy, and scratched.
After dinner, I ran to the second floor and lay down on my father's bed, it was dark, but the light was not turned on for coolness.
At this time, my father prepared a small bowl and sponge, shook a potion a few times, soaked the sponge with the potion, and gently applied it to my chest or back, and with each rub, my mother fanned it dry, because I had the opportunity to be close to my father, and I could be "driven" without fear of affecting my father's writing.
It wasn't until it was dark and my father was about to start working again that I went back to sleep in my room on the third floor. It was the happiest time I can remember.
02, Juan is a kind woman
After my father died, my mother, in addition to me as a sick child, also supported Ms. Juan's livelihood, and her life was relatively difficult.
Zhu An is also a kind woman, she always expresses gratitude in letters to her mother, saying that "your care for me makes me unforgettable for life", and is also very considerate of her mother, "You alone have to be responsible for two expenses, and it is very difficult when life is high now", and after receiving the living expenses, she also wrote back to inform how to arrange the expenses.
I've never seen Juan, and I haven't even seen it, so I don't have any impressions. But judging from the letters she exchanged with her mother, she still cared for me.
Once she wrote to her mother: "I heard that the sea baby was sick, and I remember him. You have to give him good care, maintenance. ”
When I was fifteen or sixteen, she wrote to me directly, and once asked if I had a picture of my mother, and sent her one, "I miss you so much." I knew that in her heart, she treated me like the heir of incense.
When Zhu An died of illness in 1947, his mother was under the surveillance of the Kuomintang and could not go to Beijing, so she asked some relatives and friends to help take care of the funeral.
03, the three Zhou brothers
The "brotherly discord" between Zhou Shuren and Zhou Zuoren is a tragedy, and some Lu Xun researchers speculate that it was the discord caused by his sister-in-law's bathing. However, according to Mr. Akikawashima, a tenant who lived in Hachidowan at the time, the houses in the backyard of Hachidowan had earthen ditches outside the windows and flowers, and people could not get close. I have no say in what the situation was then, and the reason may always be a mystery. But I think the root cause of their disagreement is the personality problem.
Zhou Zuoren has a weak personality, is influenced by his wife, and he cannot be separated from his own superior living environment——
At that time, Zhou Zuoren had cooks, bodyguards, coachmen, and servants in his house, and when he was not yet a traitor, people persuaded him to go to the south, saying that his family was here, he was not willing to leave, he was not willing to leave his world.
Family photo in 1912. The back row is Zhou Jianren on the left, Zhou Zuoren on the right, and the front row from left: Yutai Yoshiko, mother Lurui, Yutai Nobuko
In 1948, I went to Beijing with my mother, and one winter afternoon, Mr. Changkawashima asked me if I wanted to visit Badaowan Bay.
I heard about Badaowan since I was a child, and I already had a kind of kindness and yearning in my heart, so I followed him.
Walking into the inner courtyard, I only felt empty and silent, and an old lady in the northwest corner was sitting on a small stool basking in the sun.
She called Mr. Zhang over and probably asked who was coming. Only to see Mr. Zhang politely answer a few words, the old lady suddenly stood up and scolded me, and then changed to Japanese after Chinese.
Mr. Zhang hurriedly pulled me to the outer courtyard, and I learned that she turned out to be Zhou Zuoren's wife, Yutai Nobuko.
Since then, I have not seen her again, and the Badaowan property was donated to the country after liberation. I have no connection with the descendants of Zhou Zuoren.
Mr. and Mrs. Zhou Zuoren have never recognized me and my mother, and they have always had a contemptuous attitude towards my mother, thinking that she is "small", and I am not an orthodox person of the Zhou family; Zhou Jianren was also expelled from Zhou Zuoren's home early to work as a small clerk in Shanghai, and my father wrote to Cai Yuanpei to introduce him to work, and Zhou Jiancai found a job in Shanghai. He also found a wife in Shanghai, the original wife (Note: Yutai Nobuko's sister) and him had long been an invalid marriage, Zhou Jianren arrived in Shanghai and wrote to her several times to come and live with him, but her sister did not let her go, and kept her in Zhou Zuoren's house, which was equivalent to being their family's senior nanny, and the sisters also died in Beijing.
Now that I think about it, my grandmother still prefers her father, no matter how beautiful Zhou Zuoren is, she does not live in Zhou Zuoren's house, even if her eldest son is not there, in Shanghai, she is still willing to live in her eldest son's house, and Zhu An accompanies her, which shows that her relationship with Zhou Zuoren is very cool.
Yutai Xinzi drove Lu Xun away, drove Zhou Jianren away, and changed the deed, wanting to dominate the side.
She cursed Lu Xun for being a descendant, and when she published this "big photo album", she actually replied to many people, telling them that Lu Xun's descendants are living well!
04. As the son of Lu Xun
Strangely enough, a few days before my father died, I was on my way home from school when I suddenly felt a voice say to me, "Your father is going to die!"
For so many years I didn't understand where this voice was coming from. Maybe it was a psychological cue from my father, who was in poor health during that time?
For most of 1936, our days were always spent in joy and sorrow.
Every day I tiptoed down from the third floor. My father's door was usually closed, and I crept into the bedroom to listen to his snort for a while.
The father had a porcelain cup on his bedside stool soaked in water with his dentures. Next to the porcelain cups were cigarettes, matches and ashtrays, as well as ivory cigarette holders.
I knew that I couldn't help his health, but I always tried to do my best, so I gently pulled a cigarette out of the cigarette case, inserted it into the smoked and yellow cigarette holder, put it where he could reach it when he woke up, and then quietly left.
At lunchtime, I always hope that my father will praise his "credit" in installing cigarettes. Unexpectedly, fathers often deliberately did not mention it. I couldn't help it, so I asked in a roundabout way: "What's going on in the cigarette holder today?" After hearing this, my father smiled slightly and said, "Little girl, you installed the cigarette." Hearing these words, I felt more valuable than any reward, and my heart was happy, and my food was more fragrant.
On the morning of October 19, 1936, Xu's mother went upstairs and whispered: "Brother, don't go to school today." "I just learned that I don't have a dad anymore...
I rushed downstairs and saw my father lying there, sleeping as peacefully as before, and my mother put her arms around me with tears in her eyes and said, "Now that Father Nong is gone, the two of us are dependent on each other." ”
I didn't know that my father was such an influential person, but if there was a turning point, it was when my father died, and many people carried him out of his home and sent him to the Funeral Home of All Nations, and then there was a very grand funeral. From this funeral, I learned about my father's status and influence for the first time.
The writing on her father's tombstone was asked by my mother to write it, and she later said that it was inappropriate for others to write it, and she probably realized by then that in fact, who wrote it was a lifelong influence, and she did not expect others to write it. It's actually more for each other's safety.
As Lu Xun's son, I can't choose my own destiny. I myself am very indifferent to this identity on the one hand, and very evasive on the other.
I always don't want people to say, "This is Lu Xun's son", because I have my job, my career.
I graduated from the Department of Nuclear Physics at Peking University and later worked in the Ministry of Radio, Film and Television. I don't think I rely on my father's aura to get my life today, but many times, everyone comes to "Lu Xun's son", and in many cases, I can't help myself, spending a lot of time and energy; But if I don't go, people feel that they don't give face, and sometimes I am very distressed.
I have long realized that Lu Xun is the world, his father is a person without privacy, and all his diaries are published word for word.
As Lu Xun's son, I hope that everyone will not only study his thoughts and his literary value, but also hope that everyone will see the mortal Lu Xun, Lu Xun in life, that is a complete Lu Xun.
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