01
Feelings come easily, but life is hard to manage.
From falling in love to entering marriage, people are most likely to make the mistake of being high, romance fades, and setbacks in reality are the most shocking.
Xiaojun (pseudonym) fell in love with his girlfriend for several years and got married across various obstacles, but he did not mature after marriage, which made his wife suffer a lot of grievances, and his behavior was very strange from beginning to end.
02
Xiaojun and his wife have been married for 5 years, but the relationship between husband and wife has dropped to freezing point, often cold war, and no one cares about anyone.
They completely "turned against each other" because his wife's mother secretly complained about Xiaojun's words, which was heard by Xiaojun, he felt that the other party was an elder, it was difficult to argue with the elders, and after returning home, he was upset, so he was angry with his wife.
At that time, Xiaojun spoke very badly: "You take care of your parents, don't talk nonsense all day, you are old and unserious!" ”
When his wife Ah Yue (pseudonym) heard him say this, she blackened her face on the spot.
But Ah Yue will not quarrel, she has a gentle personality since she was a child, she chose the cold war and did not want to deal with Xiaojun. A few days later, Xiaojun took the initiative to talk to her and try to get back together, but Ah Yue still ignored him.
In the five years of marriage, Ah Yue has refused to reconcile so resolutely for the first time.
Xiaojun was a little panicked, but instead of examining himself, he began to be suspicious, suspecting that his wife had an affair outside. Xiaojun did a very strange thing - he began to stalk his wife secretly.
At first, Xiaojun was not yet proficient in arranging his time, and coupled with the company's frequent overtime, he could not successfully keep up with his wife's actions.
In the past few days, he has also withdrawn, thinking about simply not tracking, which is too much.
However, when he returned home at night, Xiaojun saw his wife's cold face and did not care about his appearance, but he still couldn't bear it, and wanted to find out the "third party" he had imagined!
And Xiaojun remembered the reason for their quarrel, and the more he thought about it, the more angry he became.
Xiaojun was born in a rural area and his family was a little poor, but his parents and relatives loved him very much, and the whole family paid for him to go to university.
To some extent, Xiaojun is proud of his relatives, and he is very disgusted by others saying anything that looks down on his family. Xiaojun feels that others say that they are fine, but they must not say that their relatives are not good.
Based on this principle, Xiaojun fell in love with Ah Yue, and his feelings were very good, because Ah Yue respected people very much.
Not only respecting Xiaojun and his family, Ah Yue himself is quiet and elegant, respects everyone, never points fingers at other people's affairs, and does not talk about people behind his back.
Xiaojun appreciates Ah Yue, and Ah Yue's family has very good economic conditions, but he affirms his value, and despite his family's obstruction, he insists on marrying him, and this affirmation and sincerity make Xiaojun feel very warm.
Once upon a time, Xiaojun also secretly vowed to be good to Ah Yue for the rest of his life.
However, after getting married, Xiaojun found that Ah Yue respected his family and would respect the opinions of others.
When Ah Yue's family and relatives say something critical of Xiaojun's family, Ah Yue will not stop it, after all, she respects everyone's views and will not casually refute others' views.
Xiaojun's ability to make money is very average, and their life is somewhat tight after marriage.
When Ah Yue gave birth, she resigned and stayed at home for 5 years, and the child went to kindergarten before she continued to work.
Although Xiaojun and Ah Yue are willing to endure hardships and do not complain, Ah Yue's parents and relatives do not want her to suffer, and naturally complain that Xiaojun has no ability.
The most unfortunate thing was that the family's economic conditions had just improved, and Xiaojun's father was sick again, almost spending their savings.
That day, Ah Yue's mother said, "When we stopped you and didn't let you marry him, you had to marry!" You see, what kind of life are you living now? With such a man, his father dragged you back, how long will you suffer in the future? ”
When Xiaojun heard this, it was difficult to have a seizure on the spot, and the more he thought about it after returning home, the more angry he became.
But he was weak-hearted, because they were hiding one thing from their father-in-law and mother-in-law - a large part of the money for the old man's treatment was borrowed.
In other words, the two of them not only have a very poor life, but now they have hundreds of thousands of debts! If this matter is known by Ah Yue's parents, they will definitely force their daughter to divorce.
And Xiaojun feels that even if she doesn't know about this, her mother-in-law is also persuading her to divorce, which sentence she said that day is not to let her daughter leave herself?
Therefore, when Ah Yue fought the cold war with himself, Xiaojun was even more weak-hearted.
He guessed for a while that his wife had told his father-in-law and mother-in-law about the money owed, and then guessed that his wife was riding a donkey to find a horse, ignoring herself, and at the same time looking for a home outside.
Just as Xiaojun hesitated, considering whether to follow his wife, his wife began to return late.
In the past few days, Xiaojun came home from overtime at night to find that his wife was not at home, and when he called, the other party did not answer, and then simply turned off the phone.
Xiaojun was so flustered that he took advantage of the boss's recent overtime task, ran as soon as he got off the shift, rode a shared bicycle all the way, rushed to his wife's company, saw her eat near the company, and also rode away.
Xiaojun followed his wife to the downstairs of a hotel.
He watched his wife walk in, and she looked at ease, and seemed to go often.
Xiaojun's heart is half cold, calculate the time, the couple has been cold for half a month, could it be that Ah Yue has been going to this hotel every day for half a month to tryst with her lover? How good is their feelings, it's shameless!
Xiaojun rushed into the hotel with red eyes, went to the front desk to question, and forced the hotel to say which room his wife was in.
Who knows, a person walked out from the utility room at the back of the front desk, it was Ah Yue, she was wearing a cleaner's uniform and had not yet put on a mask, and looked at Xiaojun with a puzzled face.
Xiaojun was dumbfounded, and then understood that his wife was working to make money after work in order to relieve the financial pressure at home.
Because his wife is still angry, she doesn't want to take care of Xiaojun, she is using practical actions to maintain the couple's small family.
Seeing Xiaojun's face change back and forth, Ah Yue also understood what was going on with her husband's actions at this time, she felt very uncomfortable in her heart, and she was also very disappointed, let Xiaojun leave, and she had to do cleaning.
In the evening, when Ah Yue returned home, she saw her husband apologizing to himself with a look of shame.
Ah Yue was completely sad this time, she filed for divorce, Xiaojun begged bitterly, and finally she gave her husband a chance to make up for it. And Xiaojun received this lesson, he realized that he was immature and never showed up in front of his mother-in-law again.
In addition to going to work, he also engaged in contracting with a cousin, spent all his energy on earning money, and finally made a lot of money, paid off the arrears, and let his wife and children live a good life.
03
Marriage is a very brave thing, and people who are not brave enough can easily reap harm in marriage.
Because a lot of hurt is actually inflicted on us by inferiority.
Everyone has their own difficulties in life. Some people's plight is poverty, some parents are divorced, and some even have both parents died or went to prison.
In addition, there are people who have low self-esteem because of their appearance, figure, and height, not to mention diseases.
Despite all the obstacles in the world, many people are still brave to love and enter into marriage. But after getting married, people will find that they are not really recognized by each other's families.
The things that make us feel inferior still follow us, and we can only let others use these shortcomings to attack us and judge our value.
People who are not brave enough, people who are prone to low self-esteem, are extremely sensitive to these criticisms.
For them, the broken marriage actually collapses from the inside, and the gossip from the outside will cause them to hurt each other.
In fact, people who know how to run a family know that regardless of whether they and their partners are excellent, they will be criticized from all sides after marriage. Many times, people criticize something, not from the perspective of justice, but for idleness.
Just like ordinary people like to watch celebrity gossip, no one is nobler than anyone. Therefore, running a family requires a calm and good attitude, smart people directly ignore everyone's evaluation, and live a good life behind closed doors.
Having love is not difficult, what is difficult is actually the process of our own gradual maturity.
As they mature, people will gradually become more comfortable with the difficulties of running a marriage.
Self-confidence will help people get out of the past growth difficulties, and people will find that in fact, those things that make us inferior exist in countless people, and there is nothing to be ashamed of.
With this confidence, people will forget gossip and cherish the friendship of their lover to them.