Talk about three feelings.
1. "Resilience" mentions that there are three most basic needs of a person: security, needs, and linking others.
A person's self-improvement is also mainly manifested in these three aspects.
For example, when reading "Open the Mind", I thought, why do some people have bursting into action, and some people blindly delay and escape?
Any procrastination and avoidance, any three-minute heat, is essentially affected by the workings of the brain.
The reward circuit of dopamine in the human brain, some people are more sensitive to the feedback of this circuit, any small reward can stimulate the secretion of more dopamine, and some respond to this more slowly, so more stimulation is needed.
Regarding this content, I am more and more clear about which aspects of research and discussion I should focus on.
At present, all kinds of methods are readily available, but not everyone uses the idea of action and execution, why some people can, some people can't, what is the mechanism behind this, how it should be done, how to test.
This series of problems is very worthy of study.
2. When the state is not good, do not force yourself to do some difficult things, you can appropriately reduce the difficulty, and give your life some adjustments and changes.
Instead of painfully changing something that isn't good, take advantage of the situation to do something less brain-burning.
When the state is not good, stop reading and writing, then listen to music and draw, this simple mechanical repetitive work may allow you to find flow as soon as possible.
"From Internal Friction to Flow", which mentions the concept of mental entropy.
In fact, many of our insensible and unhappy states are caused by an imbalance in the inner order, and this disordered heart is more often caused by the increase in the entropy of mental entropy.
The so-called increase in mental entropy is mental chaos, too many things without a sense of purpose are intertwined, and it seriously consumes one's mind.
When this kind of consumption, let their psychological energy and cognitive energy can not complete focusing, let alone complete self-reflection and correction, and eventually gradually deviate from their cognitive track, this is an emotional black disorder, but also a cognitive illusion.
Everyone needs to adjust their inner emotions, summarize and sort out the disorderly heart, and form a complete and perfect energy field in order to help themselves better complete their focus, which is the most fundamental solution.
If yes to do?
The book mentions a point: by action.
No matter how perfect your plan is, without action, everything becomes meaningless.
Only in action can we constantly discover a better me or a defective me, only by acting first can we discover, and only when we find it can we correct.
If it's just planning and imagination, it can never change.
Samurai Furukawa also said in a book that if you meditate for three hours a day, "I want to lose weight", it is not as good as 5 minutes of actual action.
In fact, everything is like this, no matter how well planned, if you don't act, it's for nothing.
At that time, after reading this book, when I thought of these views, I was also very inspired and touched, but I still did not act, it seems that the lack of action is really a very big problem.
3. I believe that many people, like me, sometimes are in a state of confusion and have never been able to adjust.
Why is this?
The main reason is that I don't have motivation to do things, I don't have a very good positive feedback, so I can't stick with this for a long time.
I have always wanted to try to change, but it is only manifested in words, not many actions are taken, and lack of action is a major factor in anxiety.
In a book I read yesterday, there is a point that I think makes sense.
The ultimate motivation for a person to do anything is: a sense of control.
Being able to really control something in your own hands will make you more willing to do it.
That is to say, the brain prefers certain things, and is naturally resistant and rejects uncertain content.
I began to resist writing because I had no sense of control over it, felt a little confused and helpless, and saw more uncertainty. I don't know where this has taken me.
Why am I so willing to stick to weight loss and exercise?
Because I have really received positive feedback in this matter, whether it is data or image, whether it is the praise of others or my own theoretical system, it is a process of continuous deepening feedback.
At the end of the day, I have a sense of control over the matter, and there is certainty about it. How much to eat, how much to exercise, how much to consume, and how much to lose in the end are all well-documented, numbered, and can be determined, so I am more willing to do it.
Why do children have no interest and motivation for learning, and still have no sense of control.
They don't know what to get in the learning process, what kind of feedback they should get, where the learning content will eventually lead them, whether the question is right or wrong, no sense of control, no sense of direction, no sense of purpose, and eventually a loss of motivation.
This is the root of the problem.
So how should this be solved?
It's very simple, I just need to regain the sense of control to do this and make it clearly visible.
For example, writing, I can't focus on the goal of monetization, because this matter is uncontrollable, I should pay more attention to the writing itself, pay attention to my writing status and the completion of writing tasks every day, so that I have a sense of control and certainty.
Only by making this goal and task clearly visible can I better stick to it and become better able to stick to it for a long time.
For example, when dealing with children's homework, we must let children split the amount of homework, so that they can see a sense of control and stability, which is a topic I need to study and solve.
So, is there a very universal and specific landing method that can better find a sense of control and use your own motivation to do things?
It is to make the task clearly visible and the amount of task predictable.
In short, target disassembly.
If you want to write today, you must break the writing into several steps, such as writing a day class first, and then writing a review.
For example, if you want to read this book today, first list the problems, then find the methods and reasons, and finally form the text of the notes.
For example, children write homework, be sure to disassemble their homework, do this first, then do that, enough granularity to disassemble.