#暑期创作大赛#
Author: Insight Muye
99% of a person's awakening depends on a thousand cuts.
01
Professor Liu Lan told the story of a student.
After graduating, this classmate got an operational job in a private company, where he was only responsible for some basic work every day.
After work, he stayed at home to watch dramas and play games.
Liu Lan advised him to learn more skills and skills while he was young.
But the classmate couldn't listen to it, and there was a sentence on his lips: That's how I can do it.
A few years later, the company did not work well, he was laid off, and he was repeatedly turned away from looking for a job.
While complaining about the environment, classmates broke jars and broke, and simply gnawed old at home.
Schopenhauer said, "It's easy to hurt others, but it's very difficult to change them, even if you don't get in the way." ”
The mud was originally rotten in the ground, and you had to help it up to the wall, and as a result, you complained that people couldn't help it.
The salted fish was originally lying down and no one provoked, you have to run to turn it over, and say that I am for your good.
Trying to correct others and awaken others is a person's greatest obsession.
Taiwanese writer Jin Weichun excelled in small school and later successfully founded Business Weekly.
For a while, he considered himself a winner and especially liked to guide and correct the people around him.
Later, he found that no one wanted to listen to him, what should be done or how to do it, and the mistakes that should be made would still be made.
Louis, a professor of psychology at Yale University, once discovered this rule:
It takes 90 days for a person to develop a habit, 6 months to form a certain thought pattern, and up to 14 years to form an inner character.
Trying to wake up others is actually denying the other party's long-term accumulated three views and cognition.
The hardest thing in this world is to put your own thoughts in other people's heads.
We can't change anyone at all, only he can change.
02
In the Analects of Yan Yuan, it is written: Advice and good ways must not stop, and there is no self-humiliation.
Zigong asked Confucius how to make friends, and Confucius replied: Sincerely persuade him, if the other party does not listen, do not persuade again, and persuade again is to bring shame on himself.
Li Wei, a business consultant, has a friend named Lin Jia and set up a factory specializing in the production of precision mechanical parts.
Lin Jia has a wealth of sales experience, is good at dealing with people, and knows nothing about technology.
In order to make up for the shortcomings, he hired a senior engineer with a high salary and handed over the factory to the other party.
He himself participates in various social activities every day to open up sales channels.
Li Wei hit the nail on the head and pointed out that he should not mix the rice bureau every day, but should personally go to the workshop to watch the production.
Because you can't completely hand over the management of the factory to someone else, no one will be as attentive as you.
In order to convince Lin Jia, Li Wei also took the Li Ning brand as evidence.
At that time, Li Ning handed over all the company to professional managers, and the result almost led to the bankruptcy of the company.
Once the two met on the street, Li Wei also pulled the other party to the café and talked about the stakes for a long time.
Later, Li Wei went to remind the other party again, and suddenly found that WeChat had been blocked by the other party.
Li Wei felt aggrieved and resentful.
Afterwards, Li Wei learned through a friend that the first batch of products produced by Lin Jia factory had quality problems.
The reason is that he never goes to the factory, the engineers are lazy, and the workers are negligent in management, resulting in deviations in the size of the products, all defective products.
In this regard, Li Wei could only sigh and say: People are different after all, and forcibly admonishing others will only lead to fruitlessness and cause trouble.
Yes, many times we spend all our strength, not only can not change each other's minds, but also add a lot of trouble to ourselves.
If persuading someone comes at the expense of a relationship, why would you go to great lengths to persuade him?
Don't blindly wake up a sleeping person, not only will you not wake him, he may also hate you for the rest of his life.
Allowing those around you to make mistakes and watching them receive punishment is also a form of compassion.
03
The Russian novelist Krylov told a story.
There is a fox, usually walking like to roll up its tail, it feels that the big furry tail is like a gorgeous umbrella, very handsome and conspicuous.
Other foxes see it and persuade it to put it down, so that when it walks, it will sweep away its footprints to avoid being discovered by hunters.
But this fox thinks he is smart and will never be discovered.
One day, it was walking swaggering as usual, but unaware that a hunter was looking for footprints and suddenly raised his gun and pounced on it.
It was so frightened that it tried desperately to escape, and finally one leg was injured.
Since then, without saying, it honestly put its tail down.
There is a saying in "Asymmetric Risk": You can never convince a person that he is wrong, only reality can educate him.
A person's awakening, 1% depends on others to remind him, 99% depends on a thousand cuts.
What can make people wake up like a dream and see through human accidents is only experience, loss, regret and injury.
Every year during the college entrance examination, I think of my cousin and feel sorry for him.
Before my cousin finished high school, he told his family that he didn't want to continue studying.
He said that many college students have a graduation salary of only three or four thousand, and those who cannot find a job and deliver food are everywhere.
A family meeting was held to persuade him to continue his studies.
But he was stubborn and dropped out of school to find a factory in the provincial capital.
After working for two years, he really couldn't hold on, he wanted to change to a lighter job, but he hit a wall everywhere because his education was too low.
After so many years, he did not have a decent job, and his life was tight.
Remembering everyone's advice, he regretted that he didn't study well at that time.
Writer Fuji Ping said: "I have always believed that only pain in this world can truly make people remember. ”
People can't wake up, they can only wake up in pain.
A person always has to take some detours and plant some heels in order to suddenly awaken in the bone-piercing pain.
▽
Zhang Ailing described such a scene in "The Road Must Go".
When she was young, she wanted to take a small road, but her mother stopped her, saying that it was a detour.
But when she insisted on leaving, her mother stopped obstructing her and just told her: This road is very difficult, be careful along the way.
When she hit the road, she found that her mother had not lied to her, and on that road she broke her head and bleed.
Zhang Ailing said that without taking detours, not falling on the head, and not touching the head to break the blood flow, it is impossible for people to really grow up.
Never try to wake a person.
If you tell 10,000 truths, it is not as good as hitting the south wall himself.
Give it a thumbs up and encourage your friends.