Lead:
After many families today give birth, most of them are parents who help bring up the baby, so as to reduce a lot of burden and pressure on the family. Although mother-in-law and daughter-in-law will get along a little awkwardly, grandparents will inevitably do their best to bring babies than grandparents take babies.
Generally speaking, most people will feel that who children grow up with will be closer and more bonded to whom. However, the real life reflection shows the opposite situation, the grandfather brought up the child, but does not get close to himself, no matter how much the relationship with his grandparents is better.
Although it sounds bizarre, the reality is absolute. Next, let's take a look at Sister Li's personal experience.
Confidant: Sister Li
My name is Li Shuixiu, I am 58 years old this year, because my family conditions did not allow me when I was a child, I have not read any books, so I have been living by farming in the countryside with my wife. I once single-handedly brought up my grandchildren and grandchildren, I remember when I brought my grandchildren, many neighbors and friends advised me not to be so good to my grandchildren, even if I am good to them, I will not remember your good in the future, no matter how much I do, it is also their own grandparents are good, they all say that the grandchildren eat away.
At that time, I also strongly retorted that other people's children will be like this, my family's will not, after all, they were brought up by themselves, and there will be no difference because of one more word. But reality slapped me in the face, until now I finally understand that the difference between my grandson and grandson is really not just reflected in a "foreign" word.
In our time, there was basically not much livelihood, and everyone chose to farm in the countryside, so people who married very early. My wife and I have a son and a daughter, and the siblings are two years apart in age. In order not to let our children suffer the loss of education, my wife and I only had a variety of land, worked more, and worked hard to provide for our children to go to university. After graduating from college, our son did not disappoint us, and his son also had a stable job, and his daughter also entered a public institution.
Seeing that we have reached the age of starting a family, the concept in the countryside is more traditional, that is, we will never allow our daughters to marry far away, if we marry far away, we are afraid that our daughter will not know if she is wronged, and she has no sense of belonging, and we don't want to break off our relatives. After all, people who marry far away often have time to go home to see. Over time, the connection will be broken, just like without this daughter. Because among the people we know, all the girls who marry far away basically have no contact.
So my wife and I often asked the matchmaker to help find a suitable boy, but fortunately, the girl also saw our thoughts, and after the matchmaker's introduction, married into the village next door to us, walked about half an hour, and soon determined the time of marriage. Even if the daughter does not have much time to come back after marriage, at least the usual New Year and holidays, there is something at home that can be rushed over immediately with a phone call.
Later, my daughter-in-law gave birth, and my daughter-in-law told me to stop working in the fields, help bring my grandson, and enjoy the blessings. I discussed with my wife that my son and daughter-in-law's current work is also on the rise, so I agreed to bring my grandson at home.
But not long after, my daughter also called and said that she also wanted to help her bring the child, the mother-in-law could not bring the child anymore because of physical reasons, and the daughter-in-law had to bear the burden for the family, and had to worry about the mother-in-law's medical treatment, the so-called grandmother's me, I felt that I would bring one anyway, and bring two is also a belt, and besides, it is not an outsider or my grandson. So I took the initiative to ask my daughter to bring my son with me. My grandson has thrown me here since weaning, and I brought it up with my own hands.
Because I have two children, my wife does not grow as much land as usual, and she will take care of it for me. So the family's income is also less. But spending money on children is not distressing, as long as the child wants to use, we will not hesitate to buy. The son and daughter-in-law knew the situation, and did not say anything, but they still supported me, and they did not despise this nephew, what the grandson wanted, what he ate, they would also buy back. The nephew also treats everything as if it were his own, and everything is in duplicate with his son. Except for the people in the village who knew the situation, everyone thought that both were grandchildren, and the people in the village said that there was a good grandmother, grandfather, uncle, and aunt.
Because I am raising my children and have no source of income, my wife usually does not do much because she helps take care of the children, and every time my daughter-in-law and son give me money, I am reluctant to spend it on myself, just to leave it for the children to buy snacks they like to eat, or buy dishes they like to eat back. However, the money given by his son and daughter-in-law plus his wife's own income is enough for the family's expenses.
When my grandson first came, his health was not very good, often he couldn't move or cold and fever, sometimes it was midnight, every time I had to take him to see a doctor for injections, whether it was late at night, storms, scorching sun, I was walking alone to the hospital. I didn't ask my daughter about these expenses. What my daughter knows will take the initiative to transfer money to me, if I don't take the initiative, I don't ask, and what I don't know, I will take it out myself. Every time I get sick with a cold, I will try to try our rural earthworks, no matter what I want, I will find a way to get it back, no matter how difficult it is, it will not be troublesome.
In our rural areas, the economic conditions are limited, but it does not affect my love for my two children at all, and my wife is also, as long as she listens to what the children say, even if it is swimming in the river, running in the mountains, and flying in the trees, I will try to get it. Children's birthdays, holidays, we will also give them a sense of ritual, but also indispensable red envelopes. The red envelopes taken by my grandson will be handed over to his mother. Because my daughter came back for the New Year, I wanted to take my grandson back for one night, but my grandson refused to go back, saying that my grandmother's house was better than my grandmother's.
I still clearly remember that once I took my children to visit the neighbor, and the neighbor saw that there was no difference between me bringing my grandson and bringing my grandson, and joked: Are you helping others bring their grandchildren so vigorously? What's the point? It is still necessary to bring your own grandchildren, that will make sense. No matter how good the grandson brings, when the child grows up, he will always only say that his grandmother is good. “
When I listened to it, I was still very uncomfortable in my heart, and instantly retorted: "My grandson will not be like this, after all, he will follow me as soon as he is weaned, no matter how I brought it up, he is so well-behaved and sensible, he will not be like you said." ”
Soon the children also grew up, from kindergarten to elementary school to junior high school, both children studied in our town, and my wife slowly gave up most of the farming time to grow only some food for herself. Accompanied me to guard my two children from kindergarten to junior high school. Because the primary school and kindergarten have schools in our village, so the two children go to school together and go home together, my wife and I will leave everything that the farmer thinks is good for the children every day, such as often giving the children local chicken, local eggs, and duck sprinkled every two days. And what I do every day is take my children to and from school.
Since there is no junior high school in the village, after attending primary school, both of them are in the town to attend junior high school, under the school boarding, but whether it is a weekend, holiday, winter vacation, summer vacation, my grandson will go straight to me as soon as possible, and the family will not return, tell my grandmother to come to my grandmother's house, my grandmother's house is fun, and my grandmother is good to me. Sometimes even my own mother is angry.
But after the child is in high school, the number of times he slowly comes to us is much less, and we don't know what the reason is, except for the New Year and a few big holidays a year, he basically doesn't come, and even his grandson invites him, he says he doesn't want to come.
Today, both my grandson and grandson have graduated from college and joined the workforce. It is even more difficult to meet my grandson, even the phone is not very much, and I also experience that young people are busy with work, so I dare not call to disturb him. On the contrary, the grandson is very hearty, and every two days he will call back to nag and talk about home. Although it was only three or five minutes, it was already a great comfort for me. The grandson is also very considerate on the phone to ask if his body is good, shush the cold and ask for warmth, tell us to pay more attention to the body, all kinds of advice. My grandson will bring something back to see our old man whenever he has time. In my heart, I secretly felt that this grandson did not have a vaginal belt.
Because the children are out, my wife and I planted some more fields, some time ago, I carried a hoe to go to the vegetable field to hoe grass, walking on the field ridge, accidentally fell down, rolled the field down, but I didn't know that when I rolled, I touched the stone of the field, and my foot fell on the spot and couldn't stand up. Later, he was sent to the hospital, his foot was already swollen, and the doctor said that he had injured his bones and needed to stay in the hospital for observation for a few days, and his feet had to be swollen and cut off the bruises. In order not to worry the children, I specially told my daughter-in-law not to tell her grandson and grandson about the injury, for fear that they would worry. But I never thought that after my grandson and grandson found out, the two people did the opposite thing, and at that moment my heart was broken, and I completely woke up, and I also understood that there was really a difference between my grandson and grandson.
In those days or two, my grandson also came home to see me, and heard my daughter-in-law say: "As soon as Wen Mo came back, I went straight to your room to find you, and I kept calling grandma without seeing you in the room, and after looking for a few laps, I went downstairs and circled around, and came back and ran over to ask me where my grandma went, I could only tell him that my grandma was in the hospital." After hearing this, his grandson immediately rode an electric car to the hospital.
I really didn't expect that he, a big boy, would wet his eyes when he saw my swollen legs like elephant legs. Immediately ran over to ask this and that, to see how anxious he looked, my wife and I comforted him that he was not tight, and that he was fine.
Because he was hospitalized, the hospital needed someone to accompany him, his wife couldn't stay up late continuously when he was old, and his son and daughter-in-law didn't have time. The grandson took the initiative to take a few days off, and accompanied his grandfather in the hospital every day to take care of me, afraid that his grandfather was tired, but everything that needed to run errands was rushed by the grandson to do, every time I bought a meal, I would personally try to see if it met my appetite, and when I turned on the water, I would personally taste the water temperature, for fear of burning me. Even when it rained heavily, he would bring the food on time, and even though his clothes were soaked, he smiled and told me that it was okay and didn't care at all.
I remember a detail that made me cry instantly, my grandson has been in the hospital for three days in a row, I was afraid that he would burn out, so I insisted that he go home and have a good rest, my grandson promised to go home and rest for half a day when we repeatedly asked, and when he left, he asked his grandfather to take the mobile phone and said that he was calling his grandson, and we quickly signaled him not to tell him, and the grandson said not to tell him, and returned the mobile phone to his grandfather within a few seconds. Tell us, transfer a little money to you, feel at ease in the hospital, don't worry about the money, and leave after speaking, I cried on the spot after listening.
The various performances of the grandson made the other patients in the ward cast envious eyes when they saw it, saying that I have such a good, filial grandson. At this point, I remembered why my grandson and grandson's approach were so far apart.
Two or three days passed, and my wife and I thought that my grandson should also come to the hospital, after all, he was also my pain. But I didn't see him. My grandson would only politely call Grandpa and Grandpa next to me when I was on the phone with his grandmother, and then he would generally tell me to rest more, and there was not much to say.
For me, it is not that he must come to see me, but I feel that it is not worth it, after all, I brought him up single-handedly, and has always treated him the same as my grandson, shouldn't he, as a grandson, come to the hospital to see his grandmother? Is it really that grandma can never compare to grandma? But he really didn't come, and I don't know what the specific situation and what the problem is.
At this moment, I really understood that the neighbor's teasing of me was not out of nowhere. Still blushing and ashamed of his rebuttal at the time. It turns out that bringing grandchildren is helping others bring grandchildren, no matter how good he is to his grandchildren and how much he pays, when he slowly stands on his own, he will not remember your good, but only remember his grandmother's good. Like now only his grandson who feels sorry for himself, his grandson is not even willing to have a sore mouth. The difference between grandchildren and grandchildren is really too big. I feel that I have only understood this truth until I live to be old, and I don't know if it will be like this in other people's families, but my grandson is like this.
End:
In life, although we can't be perfect, but we must understand that we can't be ungrateful people, in fact, everyone has seven emotions and six desires, feelings, in the words of rural people, good to come and go, the relationship will last longer, it is impossible for a person to continue to pay for you, and not get the slightest return, that also does not exist.
Whether it is family affection, friendship, or long-term affection, it should be based on mutual relations, not one-sided. As long as both parties can do mutual understanding, thoughtfulness, and understanding, I don't think the relationship will be too bad.