When many people collapse, there may be a moment when a thought flashes in their minds: if only I could disappear completely.
No longer have to face complex native families and interpersonal relationships,
No more pressure to fail in higher education,
No more fear of job competition,
No more expectations or disappointments.
Cut ties with everyone and go to a place where no one knows me and live freely.
For most people in the world, such an idea is just a flash of daily life and will not be put into practice.
But for the Japanese, it has become an increasingly common way of life.
Since the 90s of the 20th century, nearly 100,000 people have disappeared in Japan every year, most of them "self-enforced disappearances".
Because of divorce, unemployment, failing exams, debt, etc., their disappointment with themselves accumulates to the extreme, feeling that they are worthless "garbage", so they punish themselves and completely "disappear" from their families and society.
The disappearing Japanese have become a group of people in Japanese culture that represents shame but grows in silence.
Four years ago, 21-year-old Makiko left home without warning.
She didn't mention it to her parents, didn't take anything with her, simply left a book, and disappeared from her original life.
"I'm sorry to leave in this way, thank you for your smiles, thank you for your encouragement, rabbi (toys), mom and dad, please be happy."
Her belongings such as her cell phone and keys were left at home, and she seemed determined never to go home again.
Young Makiko had just experienced a breakup before leaving home, perhaps because she could not get rid of the low tide brought about by the breakup and decided to start over in a different place.
But walking away like this, without any news, for her parents, it was as painful as a heart.
In the four years since she left, everything in her room has remained the same by her parents, only as time progresses, and they go from hope to disappointment, and their hearts have come to terms with the fact that their daughter may never return.
Because the police did not find any body, indicating that she did not commit suicide, but ran away from home, the Japanese police are not actively involved in this "adult self-disappearance" case.
Only Makiko's parents sit quietly every day where their daughter may appear, sitting for half an hour or an hour, watching pedestrians move by and cars pass by, hoping that one day they will see their daughter return home.
Mom said her thoughts in the interview:
"I told myself that she might never come back and that's the result and I had to accept it.
If she doesn't want to see me, why should I force it. ”
That said, the parents' daily waiting on the bench still reveals expectations.
Ichiro and his wife Tomoko were a newlywed couple living in Saitama City, a suburb of Tokyo, in the 80s of the 20th century, they lived happily at the time, had their own house, and soon had their first child after marriage, and also took out a loan to open a shop.
Then the market collapsed.
Suddenly, everything good turned into a phantom with the economic bubble, and the couple was stolen with heavy debt.
They couldn't help it, so they made the same choice as thousands of other Japanese:
Sell your house, take your family with you, and disappear without a trace.
The financial burden is always the straw that overwhelms adults, and Yuichi was a former construction worker who had been supporting his ailing mother at home.
My mother has been ill for a long time, medical expenses, food, rent... Pressing it together is enough to completely bankrupt Yuichi, who is not rich.
Even more uncomfortable than bankruptcy was the shame of not being able to take care of his mother.
"I couldn't bear to disappoint my mother. She gave me everything, but I didn't have the ability to take care of her. ”
With no money, everything seemed to come to a dead end, and Yuichi took his mother to a cheap hotel, rented her a room, and left her there.
And he himself, never returned.
The 40-year-old is a suit-and-tie office worker, has a decent job as an engineer, has a happy family, kisses his wife goodbye every morning, drives to work in good spirits, and lives a perfect life.
Until he was fired.
He was embarrassed to tell his family, so he hid it from everyone at first, and still pretended to prepare everything and go out to work every day.
He appears to have driven to his former office building and actually sat in the car all day, not eating or talking to anyone.
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This went on for a week, and he was so afraid that others would know the truth, and that fear drove him crazy.
"I really can't stand it.
19 hours passed, and I was still waiting in the car because I often went out for drinks with my boss and colleagues, and I didn't come home too early.
I wandered around, and when I finally got home, I felt a little confused by my wife and son.
I felt so ashamed that I no longer had a salary to give them. ”
So on "Payday", the priest behaved as usual, dressed in a suit, kissed his wife goodbye, got on a train, and evaporated from the world.
He left no words or notes, and his family thought he ended his life by walking into the forest of suicide.
He did not die, and he chose "social suicide" over real death.
No longer returning to the original life, no longer returning to the original identity, living under a pseudonym in a small house that no one cared about, smoking and drinking, and so on until the end of life.
"I don't want my family to see my virtue, look at me, I look like nothing, I'm nothing."
From middle-aged men who can't afford the fear of failure after losing their jobs, young people who can't bear the shadow of emotional hurt after falling out of love, newlyweds in the 80s to construction workers who choose to disappear after bankruptcy...
Regardless of their class or situation, after suffering a blow, they invariably choose to "disappear".
Because they can no longer bear more "shame" in their current position.
An extreme sensitivity to shame is at the root of Japan's disappearing culture.
In fact, the phenomenon of "disappearance" and "human evaporation" has always existed in Japan, but it is not so common, and it is only in the 90s of the 20th century that it really becomes large-scale.
Why is that?
After World War II, Japan's economy gradually recovered, and in the 80s, people had money to invest in houses and companies, and it was a thriving scene.
But in the early 90s, the economic crisis broke out, the bubble burst, the Japanese economy suddenly regressed, and many people were heavily indebted.
From heaven to hell in an instant, along with the self-esteem of the Japanese, who cannot escape the financial pressure, let alone the shame of being a "loser".
Faced with desperation, they feel that there are only two choices left in life, either suicide or disappear forever.
Many people choose suicide, and many people choose to evaporate from the world, run away from their parents, run away from society, and banish themselves, some people call it a chronic suicide.
Japan's suicide rate remains high, and in recent years the number of people "evaporating from the world" has increased.
A reporter specializing in the phenomenon of "human evaporation" in Japan said:
"About 100,000 people in Japan 'evaporate' every year."
In this situation, books, publications, reports and even tutorials about human evaporation have emerged.
Books teach you how to disappear, and there are moving companies that help people "move at night" and disappear overnight.
If something goes wrong at work or school, if you're in debt, because of a mental illness, domestic violence, other disputes, or even for no particular reason, people may choose to disappear.
It is of course good that victims of domestic violence "disappear" like fleeing the abusive environment, but for many families of missing people, the disappearance of missing people without warning has brought great pain to their families.
Because Japan has very strict protection of personal information, it is difficult to find "people who have disappeared voluntarily".
In general, the police will not actively intervene in cases where such adults leave voluntarily if there is no apparent risk of suicide, crime or accident.
So the family can only find a private detective agency, which costs a lot of money, and there is no guarantee that it will succeed.
Because Japan has laws that protect personal data, such as a father whose son disappeared for three years.
Bank statements showing that someone (most likely his son) had been withdrawing money from the bank, an important clue to the search for his son, but when asked if the bank would be able to view ATM surveillance footage, they refused.
They say it's personal information and must be kept confidential.
Similarly, my son's mobile phone carrier cannot share his GPS coordinates for privacy reasons.
To some extent, Japan allows people the right to "disappear."
But society cannot accept "disappearing people".
Because this kind of escape is also a shame in itself in the eyes of Japanese society.
Some parents will do their best to find their disappeared children, but some family members will be ashamed of this, even if a relative disappears, they will adhere to the principle that family ugliness cannot be publicized, and will not say much, let alone report the disappearance to the police.
A reporter said:
"In Japan, 'disappearance' is considered a topic to be avoided, and as with suicide, those who remain are reluctant to talk about it.
If someone of their relatives 'disappears', it will be very faceless in society and is considered a dishonorable thing. ”
But this kind of pressure from all aspects of family and society will obviously intensify people's desire to "disappear".
Whether it's the increase in the number of disappearing people or the suicide rate being 60% higher than the global average, it's proof that many Japanese are oppressed by stigma all the time.
And disappearing, for many people, is finding some kind of freedom.
Even if this freedom is defined as a "failure" in the eyes of society, it is easier than when ten thousand kinds of bondage are carried out.
What do you think of the phenomenon of "human evaporation"?