First, during the Republic of China, Deng Junxiang, the Chinese account office of HSBC in Beijing, embezzled public funds and asked someone to find Zhang Zuolin to help him escape.
Zhang Zuolin heard that this buddy embezzled foreign money,
Happy laughter:
It has always been the money that foreigners deceive Chinese, you can cheat foreigners' money, you are a good boy, you have interest, and you have guts!
You live at home temporarily, and I will immediately send two brothers to stand guard at your house!
Second, Liu Xiang, chairman of Sichuan Province, bought an airplane without bombs and a merchant ship loaded with small land cannons.
From then on, he began to declare himself a generalissimo of the land, sea and air.
Liu Xiang admired Liu Congyun, a divine stick who was dressed in a ghostly costume, so he made him a military master.
Liu Shenxian then compiled and trained a "divine army", and there was actually a division structure, all composed of Taoists, specializing in the method of invincibility of swords and guns.
People praised it:
"Liu Xiang has four armies of land, sea, air and god."
Third, Yang Sen, who has many aunts and wives, took the lead in setting an example in fulfilling his wish of "having fun with the people".
He ordered his aunts and wives to go down to the river to swim, and suddenly the city was empty, scrambling to go to the Yangtze River to see "women bathing".
Fourth, three do not know that General Zhang Zongchang is not completely useless, at least very good at winning people's hearts.
Once a group of bandits came to Zhang Zongchang, and Lao Zhang ordered to allocate 10,000 oceans for resettlement expenses.
But the bandit leader added a vertical to the word "one", so "ten thousand" became "one hundred thousand".
When he went to the quartermaster office to collect the money, the quartermaster was found to be wrong, so he reported it to Lao Zhang, and Zhang Zongchang nodded and said yes, and the quartermaster office allocated 100,000.
Afterwards, Zhang Zongchang summoned the bandit leader, patted him on the shoulder and said:
Brother, fortunately, you only add one vertical, if you add two more horizontals, won't it become 200,000?
Well, there will be more money in the future, the brother will have to do a good job!
The bandit really worked hard and made meritorious contributions again and again.
Fifth, bribery of President Cao Kun was impatient when he was an officer before.
He was the commander of the third town, and someone secretly reported that an ordnance officer had committed fraud and enriched his own pockets.
Old Cao was furious, immediately tied him up, and beat dozens of military clubs.
Later, when it was investigated, the matter was actually false, so it was upgraded to a pipe band.
And comfort him, which probably means:
I'm gullible, spank you, I'm sorry!
Is your butt swollen now?
The proverb often says that the more you fight, the more you get worse, and lo and behold, doesn't this promote you!
Sixth, the new three giants of the Gui family are Li Zongren, Bai Chongxi and Huang Shaolong.
In order to increase military spending, Huang Shaolong began to collect protection fees from Guangxi merchants.
He said to the merchants in Guangxi with eloquence:
The question is not that we want you to pay protection fees, the question is whether you want to do business in Guangxi in peace!
Seventh, I don't know how many soldiers there are, how many women there are, and I don't know how many generals Zhang Zongchang is still a great poet.
He once wrote a poem "You Penglai Pavilion":
What a Penglai Pavilion, it's so good.
If the immortals can arrive, sit down.
Lay down the wine by the window and sing to the sea.
Come and guess a few punches, my brother-in-law is afraid to drink too much!
and made the poem "Snow":
What is flying in the sky,
A bunch of east to a pile of west,
Could it be that the Jade Emperor covers the golden temple, sieving lime and sifting lime.
And his "Baotu Spring" series of poems is even more shocking:
Baotu spring, spring Baotu spring,
Three streams of water, light grunt,
Gooo
Zhang Zongchang also wrote a poem imitating "The Great Wind Song":
The cannon opened fire on his mother,
Wigahai returned to his hometown.
Count heroes Xi Zhang Zongchang,
Ande whales swallow Fuso.
There is also a poem "Laughing Liu Bang":
I heard that Xiang Yu pulled the mountain,
Frightened, Liu Bang was about to run away.
It's not Xiao Zhang Liang,
Grandma has long returned to Pei County.
Eighth, during the Great War in the Central Plains, Lao Chiang's Central Army sent the Air Force to drop bombs, and the Northwest Army had never seen the world and was very panicked.
In order to calm the army's heart, Feng Yuxiang gathered the troops to lecture.
Lao Feng asked everyone:
More planes or more crows in the sky?
The crowd answered:
Crows more.
Lao Feng asked again:
Did the crow fall on your head when it pooped?
Everyone spoke in unison:
No.
Lao Feng then said:
Therefore, when the plane drops a bomb, there is less chance of being hit, and everyone does not have to be afraid.
The next day the air force attacked, everyone remembered Feng Dashuai's words, did not dodge, and suffered heavy casualties.