Writer Bingxin once said:
"A good family is the root of all happiness and strength."
I think so. Having a home to return to is the foundation and foundation of everyone's life path.
With family hugging, no matter how much wind and rain you go through outside, you always have an umbrella above your head.
People live a lifetime, and the greatest happiness is:
Born in a home full of laughter, grew up in a home with a good style, and stood in a home that you can rely on at any time.
A family, the highest level of showing off wealth is:
The way of getting along harmoniously, the inheritance of excellent family customs, the way of teaching children wisely, and the family environment that makes people feel at ease.
In the second half of life, if you want your home to be more and more prosperous, and the days are getting more and more prosperous, you must keep these 7 family roads.
01
- About speaking: poor do not complain about the father, rich do not hate the wife, and angry do not murder the son.
As the old saying goes: Woe comes from the mouth.
The so-called "disaster" refers not only to the disaster that befell accidentally, but also to the collapse of family love in an instant.
In real life, many people have such a habit: to the closest people, unscrupulously saying the most ruthless things, thinking that they are a family, they often have no scruples.
When his career is not going well, he blames his parents for not having the ability; After flying to the top, he disliked his wife's old appearance; When in a bad mood, scold your children for being too mediocre.......
Language is the sharpest weapon that hurts people, and it can make the bottom of the heart full of scars in an instant.
The wounds of words are dark wounds, and although the wounds cannot be seen and touched, the scars will always remain in the heart.
In a word, it can ruin a relationship; In a word, it can also ruin the happiness of a family.
No matter how deep the feelings, they can't withstand the vicious words of each other; No matter how close the relationship is, it can't withstand the attacks of the knife mouth again and again.
Don't hurt your parents' hearts by complaining and cause irreparable regrets in this life.
Don't forget your partner's grace because of vanity, and let a good marriage come to an end.
Don't lose your child's trust because of your temper and let your original happiness fall apart.
From now on, learning to talk well and go home with a smile is the best love for your family.
02
- About marriage: Two people with the same frequency can go longer.
There is an issue of "Strange Words", Xu Xiaoxu said:
"A good marriage is that I have a track, you have a track, and because of our feelings, we go hand in hand. Instead of me having no track, I leap into your orbit, that's called lying rail suicide. ”
What is it like for a couple to be on different tracks in a family?
If you think about it, the daily routine is probably exactly:
"You say the sea is beautiful, but he says that the sea drowns;
You say the view from the top of the mountain is pleasant, but he says that the heights are dangerous;
You want to live a better life, but he is always content with the status quo;
Your grievances seem hypocritical to him; His silence, in your opinion, is indifference. ”
People with different frequencies do not belong to the same world, and together not only cannot withstand the wind and waves, but will create more tsunamis.
In a truly evenly matched marriage, in addition to two family pairs, there are two people with the same three views and the same frequency.
If you want to maintain a marriage and love each other until you are old, keep pace and move forward slowly.
In the second half of my life, remember to join hands with the person who resonates at the same frequency, eat three meals a day, and live well throughout the year.
03
- About energy: Emotional value is the most valuable asset of a family.
Cai Kangyong made a point in the book:
"There is an emotional account between people, and every time they make each other happy, they save more; Every time you make the other person sad, you deposit a little less. ”
In this emotional account, what is stored is the emotional value given to the family.
Emotional value, on the other hand, is the ability to bring happiness and positive emotions to the family.
If the atmosphere in a home is already cold to the extreme, presumably the "deposit" in this emotional account is already zero.
Studies have shown that:
"Emotional value not only determines how popular a person is, but even the success or failure of a relationship. Especially in a family, whether it has positive emotional value greatly affects the future of the family. ”
Parents with high emotional value will give their children unlimited strength, and the home is always full of life.
A family full of positive energy, parents are loving, brothers are harmonious, children are optimistic, family members never fight right or wrong, never win or lose, and work together to live a good life.
No matter what happens to the family, it can face it with a positive attitude, there are no obstacles that cannot be passed, and there are no problems that cannot be solved.
A happy family is inseparable from the energy that everyone provides for them.
Sufficient energy is inseparable from the emotional value generated by mutual trust, mutual tolerance and mutual encouragement between family members.
When the hearts of people are gathered, all things can be done; If the hearts of the people are peaceful, the family will prosper.
04
- About education: parents are the mirror of children, and children are the shadow of parents.
The descendants of the Eastern Jin Dynasty Xie An family are all talented, and other dignitaries are envious of this.
Someone asked Xie An what kind of way he used to make the child grow into a "Zhilan Yushu".
Xie An replied: "The best education is for parents to be the best version of themselves. ”
Some people wondered: "Why have I never seen you educate children?" ”
Xie Ann explains: "I always use my words and actions to educate children. ”
In other words, if parents are right, children are naturally right.
Parents' three views, conduct, and pattern are often children's cognition of the world.
Parents have a positive outlook, decent behavior, and a big pattern, and the child will go further and further on a correct road.
As stated in the documentary "Mirror":
"Every child is born with a blank sheet of paper, and parents are the painters. What becomes of the blank paper lies with the parents. ”
Parents are the mirror of the child, and the child is the shadow of the parent.
What kind of children you want to raise, first of all, what kind of person you must be first.
The four words of "teaching by word and deed" are, in fact, the following:
Sow an action, reap a habit; Sow a habit, reap a character; Sow a character, reap a destiny.
05
- About family style: moral heirloom, more than ten generations.
Zeng Guofan, a famous minister of the late Qing Dynasty, mentioned in his family letter:
To teach people with words is to teach people with goodness; To be virtuous is to nurture people with kindness, and to do good things with people.
In his view, whether it is to be a person or a godson, you must learn to be kind to others, and good deeds also need to be practiced in a lifetime.
The level of a person's virtue can be known from his family style.
The principle of a person's life is the most intuitive epitome of his family.
Family style is the foundation of a family, seemingly invisible, but always affects everyone's choices and accompanies everyone's life.
If the family style is right, the descendants are right; If the family style is good, the descendants will prosper. The old man has no virtue, and the whole family suffers; Virtue accumulates at home, blessings come from themselves.
The best family style is the kindness of the heart.
Kindness and charity can serve others, and goodness is like water and virtue.
As the saying goes, "In the house of goodness, there will be rejoicing; If you don't accumulate well, there will be aftermath" is exactly this truth.
Virtue can nourish the heart, if the heart is always sunny, it will be able to grow towering trees with lush leaves.
Moral heirloom, more than ten generations, over time, will surely accumulate a steady stream of blessings for the family and bring endless glory to the family.
06
- About getting along: good family relationship - know how to be grateful.
Zhihu has a question: What is the most taboo thing about getting along with family members?
A high praise answered to the point: When a family is together, what they are most afraid of is not poor conditions, not hardship, but taking each other's efforts for granted, asking for inches, and asking for things endlessly.
Human nature is like this, and I always don't know how to cherish the love that can be easily obtained.
Parents' unrequited efforts to their children will often be regarded as a habit by their children over time;
Siblings support each other, and the more times, it is easy to make each other unmeasured.
The saddest thing in this world is probably this: painstakingly raising a white-eyed wolf; Exhausted feelings, but spoiled the closest people.
Knowing how to be grateful is the key to making the relationship between family members more and more harmonious.
There is grace in the heart, and blessed in life. Between family members, keep kindness in mind, and the family will naturally prosper for a long time, happy and happy.
A family is in the best state, as written in "We":
"We have no desire from the world, no quarrel with others, but only to get together, stay together, and do what we can. When we encounter difficulties, we bear them together, no matter how bitter and difficult things are, they can become sweet. When we are a little happy, we can become very happy. ”
07
- About life: Every family has difficult scriptures, never look up to the happiness of others.
In recent years, I have seen more and more impermanence in the world, and I believe more and more in the old saying:
Every family has difficult scriptures, and everyone has difficult songs.
But in fact, many people have had such experiences:
When I see others dressed up brightly, I forget the beauty of my three meals a day.
Seeing other people's children excelling, they forget that their own children are sensible and filial.
Seeing other people's homes owning luxury cars and bungalows, they forget the laughter of their own homes on weekdays.
If people blindly look up to the happiness of others, they will only accumulate countless troubles for themselves.
With a heart of comparison, go to spy on other families, and never see your own surprise.
Other people's lives, there is no need to envy; Other people's family conditions, no need to pursue.
Truly mature people know how to grasp the moment, do not envy, do not complain, do not compare, guard their families, and feel every precious moment in ordinary days.
At a certain age, what cannot be obtained, you must learn to let go; What you already have, please cherish it.
08
Sun Qifeng, a science scholar in the late Ming and early Qing dynasties, said this:
"In the prosperity and decline of family fortune, heaven cannot exercise its power, and man cannot exercise his power, but he controls himself."
After middle age, learning to take care of one's own family is a person's greatest vision.
Home and life are prosperous, people and things are prosperous, even if there is no great wealth and nobility, life can be flavorful.
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