I haven't seen it for a long time, but I didn't expect that Yan Ni had been upgraded to be a "grandmother".
Two days ago, "Grandma's New World" was broadcast, and Sister Pickpocket originally wanted to see Yan Ni and Yao Chen's sisters work together again after many years, but she was suddenly attracted by this old lady with gray hair and wrinkled face.
After reading it, I have to say that Yan Ni has some skills on her.
Sun Yuping (played by Yan Ni) is an ordinary housewife, she has worked for half her life, and has been revolving around her daughter Dou Xiaojing and granddaughter Dou Qi.
Because she owed something in her heart, she was almost obedient to Dou Xiaojing.
After growing up, Dou Xiaojing found a boyfriend who was not doing business, and decided to flash marriage in two months, and she did not stop it.
As a result, the son-in-law was unreliable, owed a debt, and made the family restless, Dou Xiaojing had to divorce, and she did not persuade.
In the final analysis, I want to give support to my daughter, and I don't want to let my blind interference ruin my daughter's happiness.
But in Dou Xiaojing's eyes, these have become her mother's original sin:
"Mom, are you a little assertive? You say yes to whatever I do, you say good when I get married, you say good when I divorce, and you hurt me when I become what I am today. ”
When Dou Xiaojing learned that her daughter Dou Qi and her father secretly met, Sun Yuping knew but helped conceal it, and she even blamed her:
"In the final analysis, it's you, Dou Qi was born to me, not you, what right do you have to bring her to this rotten person? It's not enough for you to ruin my life, you still want to ruin my daughter? ”
In Dou Xiaojing's view, it was her mother's fault that she didn't get into college and got married in a flash, and her daughter Dou Qi's mediocrity was caused by her mother.
But looking back, what was wrong with my mother?
On the Internet, there has always been no shortage of such voices: if you become a mother, you should take your children at home with peace of mind, when you become a mother, don't think about eating and dressing well, and when you become a mother, you should stick to your children and forget yourself.
But even if the mothers do this, the accusations are still heard, so what is the problem?
【1】
In life, there are many ideas like Dou Xiaojing: some people think that since their parents gave birth to themselves, they should be responsible for their whole lives; Some people think that it is their parents who are not competent enough to make themselves mediocre and unproductive...
Blame all his troubles and difficulties on his parents.
If you think about it, when we were children, we were still small saplings that had not grown up, maybe we lacked enough ability and could only face the current situation.
However, as an adult, you should no longer be satisfied with being a vine that clings to your parents.
As they grow older and we grow older, we should strive to grow into trees that can shelter our parents from the elements.
Sun Yuping in the TV series is like the epitome of thousands of mothers in life.
They are ordinary and ordinary, full of children, there is no great pursuit, all they want is that children are happy and safe.
And Sun Yuping is more dashing than many mothers is that after a serious illness, she finally wants to open, pack her luggage, run away from home on an ordinary day, and choose to experience her own life.
Jia Ling also mentioned more than once when filming the movie "Hello, Li Huanying":
"My mom isn't just my mom, she's herself."
So, stop tying your life firmly to your mother's waist, if they can live a little more for themselves, we should be happier.
【2】
The other day, I saw this news:
In Sanya, Hainan, a young mother took her son on a trip and wore a suspender because the weather was hot.
Unexpectedly, he was pointed out by the aunt passing by: "Do you still wear suspenders when you become a mother?" ”
The 4-year-old son did not swallow his anger when he heard this, and immediately defended his mother and went back.
There was once a photo of Xinyi circulating on the Internet, when she had just given birth, her figure had not yet recovered, and she took the baby to visit Yuan Hong.
Accidentally photographed secretly, he began to ridicule her "waist and hip width".
She was not used to these well-intentioned people, and directly posted a response.
It's funny to say that postpartum mothers are ridiculed for being slovenly because of their out-of-shape figure;
And the mother with a beautiful figure, because she wore clothes that others were not used to, was pointed out without knowing the proportions. The implication is that it seems that when you become a mother, you have entered a dead end and are destined to face ridicule. It doesn't matter if your figure is good or not, whether you dress conservatively or sexy, because that doesn't matter.
"Mom" only because of the upgrade of the role, never means that the so-called imprisonment is unknown. The 4-year-old still knows how to maintain the freedom of their mother to dress up, and I hope we can understand better——
Mom's beauty has nothing to do with figure, age, or an ordinary suspender.
【3】
Cai Shaofen once confessed that she has not slept for ten years since becoming a mother, and her three children keep her busy every day.
The daily schedule was also very full, and after sending my daughter to school in the morning, I immediately took my young son out to the park.
After returning home at noon, the son goes to sleep, eats by himself, and then picks up his daughter from school, tutors homework, cooks dinner...
On the show, a male guest asked her if she was at home to prepare for the show and exercise in advance.
She said that there is, holding a child is already very exercised, the male guest was full of disappointment after listening to it, and said incredulously: "You hold the child as exercise?" ”
In fact, holding a child sounds simple, but it is real physical work, and her shoulder has been hurting for four months.
In the movie "82 Years of Kim Ji-young", the heroine, as a full-time wife, has to face endless housework every day, cleaning, washing, cooking...
Everything is a mental work, but in the eyes of my husband, this comfortable and comfortable life is like a "blessing".
In the eyes of outsiders, this is "fairy life", because not only is there no workplace anxiety, but you can also spend your husband's money drinking coffee every day and leisurely take your baby for a walk, which is simply lazy.
In fact, my mother's "work" is often hard and unknown to outsiders, and the consumption of firewood, rice, oil and salt day after day is the most abrasive.
When there is still work and the end of work, taking children is a 24-hour thing that can not be sloppy.
So the next time we see our mother enjoying a small cake and watching a TV series to enjoy a rare comfort, we might as well think first:
Whether this is she being lazy, or is it a little respite she has won for her life under pressure.
She was able to enjoy life, and the small luck was that she should, so why not talk about accusations.
【4】
There was once such a post, which caused heated discussions as soon as it was published on the Internet:
"After having two children, the mango flesh is all children, and I only deserve to eat mango pits."
The onlookers had different views, and some felt that this should have been the basic operation of being a mother, and there was no need to complain about it like this.
Some people feel that this is a self-touching sacrifice, completely meaningless, not only suffering themselves, but also morally kidnapping children.
Today, in the short videos on the Internet, things seem to have changed direction. When more post-90s mothers take up the job, they uphold the principle of "suffering children can not suffer themselves".
Give your child self-cooked food and eat takeaway by yourself, because "takeaway is not healthy".
There is still a piece of durian left at home, and I secretly eat it in the kitchen before coming out, because "when the baby grows up, it is time to let the mother."
I bought myself a chicken chop without a child's portion, because "the mother needs nutrition to eat meat, but the child can't eat it if she doesn't need it."
A series of operations is ridiculous, but it can't help but make people breathe a sigh of relief.
For mothers, it is instinctive to be good to their children, so they always want to give better to their children.
After becoming a mother, on the one hand, I want to compress the cost of living as much as possible to the previous level, and on the other hand, I want my children to enjoy everything they should have, so I thought about it and finally chose to reduce my quality of life.
But for children, they would rather enjoy food with their mother than eat mango pulp with a sense of guilt for eating alone.
In the family, mother and child are never an either/or choice, one to enjoy the blessing and the other to endure.
If it is delicious, everyone will eat it together, so that the family atmosphere will be more pleasant.
I hope that the next time mothers face food, they can safely eat and do not have to blindly believe the ascetic-like saying.
【5】
In life, we have heard too many similar sayings: "If you become a mother, you should XXX", "If you become a mother, you should not XXX".
It seems that as long as you can't do any of them, you can't be called a qualified mother.
However, in the end, "mother" is just a long life road, a new identity unlocked, a continuation of love, not a shackle nested in the body, and a defined and set program.
It is the beautiful mother who carefully dresses herself to attend the child's parent-teacher conference; Romantic mothers who like to travel the world with their children; It's a mother with a girly heart who buys a small skirt with her children and drives a go-kart when she has nothing to do...
There is never a do's and no's, a yes and a can't. My mom, she's the best mom in the world.