These 7 details are the most insightful
◈ | Jane
1. How a person treats a service person
The way people treat people who work in retail, restaurant, and hospitality tells you a lot about themselves. Why? Because when you're dealing with people, you're in a position of power. The service staff must be good to you, because "the customer is always right". If you treat these people badly, it shows that you lack integrity, compassion, and even self-esteem, because people with self-esteem will never behave on top.
2. A person's level of courtesy
People often praise me for how "polite" I am, and I feel strange instead. In life, many people do not have basic courtesy. So, whenever I meet someone who often says "please" and "thank you", I know I'm dealing with a smart guy who can socialize. By saying these simple words, you can make someone else's day better, reduce friction in communication, and make life easier.
3. The way a person walks
When I look at Barack Obama's state as he walks into a room, I get a palpable sense of confidence: he's friendly, powerful, and compelling, even though he never seeks approval. Whenever I see this aura of others, I get hooked. I learned a useful technique from the art of charm called the doorway technique. Simply put, you "anchor" your confident body language to something common during the day, like a doorway. Every time you walk through the door, you know to pay attention to your body language. Are you standing up straight, or are you shrugging your shoulders? Do you walk like a fly, or do you walk slowly?
4. How a person reacts when they are uncomfortable
Once, while I was lining up at the Chipotle restaurant, I overheard someone in front of me wanting to add cheese to his burrito. But the employee didn't hear it, so his friends looked at him as if to say, "Do you say it again?" But he didn't. Why? Because he knows that these slightest social frictions must be experienced.
5. How a person responds to the good fortune of others
When Payton Manning won the title for the second time, an interesting meme circulated: it was a picture of his brother Eli, whose facial expression seemed to indicate that he wasn't very excited. To figure out whether a person is inclined to support or envy those who succeed, observe their facial expressions or listen to subtle cues in their language.
Imagine if one person makes a lot of money in a business and another person says, "Then you have to pay more self-employment tax." It's not to be happy for him, but to leave a shadow on him.
6. How a person views their own life
When you listen to people talk about themselves, you can feel whether they're looking at life through the victim's or through the agent's perspective. Language is powerful. They asked, "How's it been lately?" Or "What's new?" How is it answered? Many people give the answer "very good" or "old fashioned". You're more likely to be attracted to people who have something new to tell you every time they talk, people who get excited when they talk about their spare time, hobbies, or ideas they're thinking about.
7. What children think of a person
I'm sure kids have a sixth sense of people. Because children's ability to reason finely has not yet fully developed, they will pay more attention to your "aura". Their perception of you won't be based on what you say or how you behave. Instead, they'll focus on your facial expressions and the way you act. Believe me, when you're with them without being fully engaged, they know.